In what has to be a first the Edmonton Oilers restricted free agent offer sheet was matched by Thomas Vaneks wife.
The Buffalo Sabres are furious with the Edmonton Oilers for extending a $50 million offer to Thomas Vanek saying they will go after any Oilers they want with similar offers. Oilers GM Kevin Lowe had the last laugh saying go ahead... even they didn’t want their players.
Let’s face it John Paddock was a lock to get the Ottawa Senators job.
In a nod to FIFA banning games in Cities over 3500’ above sea level the NHL is considering banning games above the 49th parallel.
Detroit Tigers light hitting Neifi Perez has been suspended for 25 games after testing positive for a banned stimulant. Perez says the fact he is batting .172 should negate the performance enhancing stigma associated with the drug.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Thursday, July 5, 2007
July 5 2007
Olympic vaulter Giuseppe Gibilisco has agreed to talk with Italian sports authorities about his alleged steroid use after earlier remaining silent. He now says there are some topics he will touch with a 10’ pole.
Jeremy Roenick has decided to retire after 18 seasons in the NHL saying his tongue just couldn’t take one more season. In addition to his goals and assists Jeremy may have been the second best ice dancer behind Wil Farrell.
The Russian resort of the Black Sea has been awarded the 2014 Winter Olympics which in a rare co-incidence is the name athletes have given to the 2008 Olympic pool in Beijing.
The people of Edmonton may have lost Michael Nylander but the good news is they now have nearly a full leagues worth of players to boo.
International Cricket officials are reportedly upset over the length of the World Cup saying over 65 days was just killing time.
Texas Billionaire Alan Stanford has given $100 million to the West Indies Cricket Association. With the money officials are going to increase player development, hold a Caribbean Tournament and have a really great tea party.
Robyn Regeher has signed a $4 million contract extension with the Calgary Flames which is far below what he would receive as a free agent. Robyn says with this contract he gets something he has always wanted…the negatives.
Jeremy Roenick has decided to retire after 18 seasons in the NHL saying his tongue just couldn’t take one more season. In addition to his goals and assists Jeremy may have been the second best ice dancer behind Wil Farrell.
The Russian resort of the Black Sea has been awarded the 2014 Winter Olympics which in a rare co-incidence is the name athletes have given to the 2008 Olympic pool in Beijing.
The people of Edmonton may have lost Michael Nylander but the good news is they now have nearly a full leagues worth of players to boo.
International Cricket officials are reportedly upset over the length of the World Cup saying over 65 days was just killing time.
Texas Billionaire Alan Stanford has given $100 million to the West Indies Cricket Association. With the money officials are going to increase player development, hold a Caribbean Tournament and have a really great tea party.
Robyn Regeher has signed a $4 million contract extension with the Calgary Flames which is far below what he would receive as a free agent. Robyn says with this contract he gets something he has always wanted…the negatives.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
July 4 2007
After playing a Sunday game in Regina the Calgary Stampeders head directly to Hamilton for a game on Thursday. League officials have acknowledged this is a difficult trip and have declared that any American making a run for the border will not be counted against the teams salary cap.
Michael Nylander has backed out of a contract to play with the Edmonton Oilers saying he was at fault by mistakenly letting his wife look at a map.
Despite having bundles of cash to spend the team is finding it difficult to attract players. Sources say they will probably follow the example of the Edmonton Eskimos and lose. Kevin Lowe is beginning to look like a father trying to marry off his daughter by saying she has a nice personality and big dowry.
The Calgary Flames have resigned Jerome Iginla and Robyn Regehr to contract extensions averaging between 2000 – 3000 barrels a day.
After complaining Chili did not allow them to play with the ball Canada’s under 20 team is hoping to invoke the rarely used “It’s my ball” home team rule.
The 4 year Americas Cup yacht race was won by landlocked Switzerland by a single second. Swiss time keepers were quick to protest saying they actually won by 1.03978 seconds.
Asked how they felt about the win team officials said they were neutral. As for being a landlocked sailing power Swiss officials said the race went just as they planned it in their bathtub.
After seeing Serena Williams scream in pain after hitting herself in the calf with her racquet I guess we can safely say she didn’t hit the sweet spot. Not sure if hitting her calf was the best treatment, it’s like a race car driver punching his hand into the wall to crack his knuckles.
Calgary Stampeders Jeremaine Copeland and Nik Lewis have toned down their touchdown celebrations this year citing their newfound environmental awareness. When possible they will reuse routines from last year and cut down on hot air emissions.
The producers of Canadian Idol are furious voters from Toronto are not supporting their hometown singers even though they may not be the most talented. Sources say this should not be a determining factor I mean come on… you cheer for the Leafs!
They say that a tie is like kissing your sister but after a season like last year the Edmonton Eskimos must have one that looks like Angelina Jolie.
My girlfriend thought she caught me watching porn, but it was just the Williams/Sharapova Wimbledon match. If Sharapova ever decides to write a tell all book the title is obvious…Deep Throat.
Oakland Raiders running back Dominic Rhodes was sentenced to a 4 game suspension on Monday. Declaring the sentence “harsh” President Bush has commuted his sentence to life in Cincinnati.
The Calgary Stampede starts on Friday and with the increased threat of terrorism in England Prince Harry will personally conduct the cavity searches at Cowboys. The staffing shortage in Calgary bars means this year you may have to take a “body shot” off your own body. Seeing how attracted the Prince was to the Cowboys barmaid outfit has affected Calgary women. This year when you see a “Hoedown” she has probably just broken a heel.
Michael Nylander has backed out of a contract to play with the Edmonton Oilers saying he was at fault by mistakenly letting his wife look at a map.
Despite having bundles of cash to spend the team is finding it difficult to attract players. Sources say they will probably follow the example of the Edmonton Eskimos and lose. Kevin Lowe is beginning to look like a father trying to marry off his daughter by saying she has a nice personality and big dowry.
The Calgary Flames have resigned Jerome Iginla and Robyn Regehr to contract extensions averaging between 2000 – 3000 barrels a day.
After complaining Chili did not allow them to play with the ball Canada’s under 20 team is hoping to invoke the rarely used “It’s my ball” home team rule.
The 4 year Americas Cup yacht race was won by landlocked Switzerland by a single second. Swiss time keepers were quick to protest saying they actually won by 1.03978 seconds.
Asked how they felt about the win team officials said they were neutral. As for being a landlocked sailing power Swiss officials said the race went just as they planned it in their bathtub.
After seeing Serena Williams scream in pain after hitting herself in the calf with her racquet I guess we can safely say she didn’t hit the sweet spot. Not sure if hitting her calf was the best treatment, it’s like a race car driver punching his hand into the wall to crack his knuckles.
Calgary Stampeders Jeremaine Copeland and Nik Lewis have toned down their touchdown celebrations this year citing their newfound environmental awareness. When possible they will reuse routines from last year and cut down on hot air emissions.
The producers of Canadian Idol are furious voters from Toronto are not supporting their hometown singers even though they may not be the most talented. Sources say this should not be a determining factor I mean come on… you cheer for the Leafs!
They say that a tie is like kissing your sister but after a season like last year the Edmonton Eskimos must have one that looks like Angelina Jolie.
My girlfriend thought she caught me watching porn, but it was just the Williams/Sharapova Wimbledon match. If Sharapova ever decides to write a tell all book the title is obvious…Deep Throat.
Oakland Raiders running back Dominic Rhodes was sentenced to a 4 game suspension on Monday. Declaring the sentence “harsh” President Bush has commuted his sentence to life in Cincinnati.
The Calgary Stampede starts on Friday and with the increased threat of terrorism in England Prince Harry will personally conduct the cavity searches at Cowboys. The staffing shortage in Calgary bars means this year you may have to take a “body shot” off your own body. Seeing how attracted the Prince was to the Cowboys barmaid outfit has affected Calgary women. This year when you see a “Hoedown” she has probably just broken a heel.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007
July 3 2007
In an effort to control their image the NFL is limiting the media to 45 seconds of video per day and newspapers to 2 mug shots per team.
The CFL is having a salary cap crisis when it was revealed the Saskatchewan Roughriders were giving players a 2 for 1 coupon to Dominos.
The wife of NY Yankee’s Alex Rodriguez was seen in the family section wearing a shirt that contained a 2 word profanity on it. Cynthia was embarrassed saying she just got back from a Toronto strip club and didn’t have time to change.
After winning 8 games in a row Seattle Mariners manager Mike Hargrove resigned saying he was finding it increasingly difficult to wake up with any enthusiasm for the game. Responding to the news NY Yankees manager Joe Torres suggested he follow his routine and just not go to bed.
Barry Bonds was voted to the All Star game and later said his possible omission from the game was because of a vast right swing conspiracy.
The owner of the Milwaukee Bucks is trying to persuade Chinese power forward Yi Jianlian to drop his request to play in a city with a larger Asian population by reminding him Vancouver hasn’t had a team for years.
I was a bit surprised at the glowing praise the media has heaped upon the Canadian under 20 men’s soccer team prior to the World Cup tournament. With a record of 4 wins 5 ties and 24 losses it takes “homer” to a whole new level. Can’t we just be happy if no one loses an eye?
Before I go into the jokes on the NHL free agent signings I think it is important to say that because we are Canadians the thought of giving 7 million dollars to an athlete is tough to understand. But in reality compared to a lot of sports our players are "reasonably" priced and give great value for money. That said... they still need to know we can't feel their pain...
To put the NHL free agent frenzy into terms fans of the movie the Transformers can relate to the NY Rangers went from a car to a big rig while the Edmonton Oilers changed from a truck to a 1972 Lada.
Todd Bertusi has agreed to a $4 million a year contract to be a part of the “happiest place on earth”, away from any media that cares about hockey. Brian Burke has spent too much time in Hollywood if he thinks this is a good deal for an optimist way past his prime.
The Toronto Maple Leafs entered the free agent market signing 34 year old Jason Blake to a contract they hope will ease him into retirement. GM John Ferguson Jr. was ecstatic with the signing saying it would shore up the Leafs suspect defense. When told he must have been thinking of LA Kings Rob Blake Ferguson said “abracadabra” and left in a puff of smoke.
The Canadian Mint has created a $1 million dollar solid gold coin in response to requests from NHL owners for “pocket change” to get a 4th line centre.
The only people in Edmonton cheering the signing of Denis Grebeshkov and Dick Tarnstrom were those paid by the letter to sew the names to the jerseys.
The NY Rangers had some help with their salary cap management by tapping into the wealth of experience available from NY Yankees owner George Steinbrenner.
Peter Forsberg had surgery on his ankle again but a source with inside information said he is still able to walk to the bank and cash his cheque.
The CFL is having a salary cap crisis when it was revealed the Saskatchewan Roughriders were giving players a 2 for 1 coupon to Dominos.
The wife of NY Yankee’s Alex Rodriguez was seen in the family section wearing a shirt that contained a 2 word profanity on it. Cynthia was embarrassed saying she just got back from a Toronto strip club and didn’t have time to change.
After winning 8 games in a row Seattle Mariners manager Mike Hargrove resigned saying he was finding it increasingly difficult to wake up with any enthusiasm for the game. Responding to the news NY Yankees manager Joe Torres suggested he follow his routine and just not go to bed.
Barry Bonds was voted to the All Star game and later said his possible omission from the game was because of a vast right swing conspiracy.
The owner of the Milwaukee Bucks is trying to persuade Chinese power forward Yi Jianlian to drop his request to play in a city with a larger Asian population by reminding him Vancouver hasn’t had a team for years.
I was a bit surprised at the glowing praise the media has heaped upon the Canadian under 20 men’s soccer team prior to the World Cup tournament. With a record of 4 wins 5 ties and 24 losses it takes “homer” to a whole new level. Can’t we just be happy if no one loses an eye?
Before I go into the jokes on the NHL free agent signings I think it is important to say that because we are Canadians the thought of giving 7 million dollars to an athlete is tough to understand. But in reality compared to a lot of sports our players are "reasonably" priced and give great value for money. That said... they still need to know we can't feel their pain...
To put the NHL free agent frenzy into terms fans of the movie the Transformers can relate to the NY Rangers went from a car to a big rig while the Edmonton Oilers changed from a truck to a 1972 Lada.
Todd Bertusi has agreed to a $4 million a year contract to be a part of the “happiest place on earth”, away from any media that cares about hockey. Brian Burke has spent too much time in Hollywood if he thinks this is a good deal for an optimist way past his prime.
The Toronto Maple Leafs entered the free agent market signing 34 year old Jason Blake to a contract they hope will ease him into retirement. GM John Ferguson Jr. was ecstatic with the signing saying it would shore up the Leafs suspect defense. When told he must have been thinking of LA Kings Rob Blake Ferguson said “abracadabra” and left in a puff of smoke.
The Canadian Mint has created a $1 million dollar solid gold coin in response to requests from NHL owners for “pocket change” to get a 4th line centre.
The only people in Edmonton cheering the signing of Denis Grebeshkov and Dick Tarnstrom were those paid by the letter to sew the names to the jerseys.
The NY Rangers had some help with their salary cap management by tapping into the wealth of experience available from NY Yankees owner George Steinbrenner.
Peter Forsberg had surgery on his ankle again but a source with inside information said he is still able to walk to the bank and cash his cheque.
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
June 27 2007
With 7 pitchers over the age of 40 taking to the mound on Tuesday Major League Baseball is celebrating with a “Blue Plate Special”. In addition to affecting their ERA each pitcher will be given a contribution to their IRA. In honour of the players each team will wear their “throw-back” jerseys some dating as far back as the pitchers rookie year.
Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson were penalized by NASCAR for having illegal fenders after a “nose bra” didn’t conform to the proper shape. This is the most trouble an athlete has had with a bra since Dennis Rodman got married.
After finding out 317 of the more than 10,000 eligible retired players are getting disability payments NFL officials were shocked and quickly met to see how they could lower that number.
Responding to evidence that retired players are more likely to suffer acute mental illness lawyers for the NFL said “the best players have always been a bit crazy”.
The NFL is trying hard to avoid legislation that would require them to pay disability benefits arguing most of the retired players don’t have a leg to stand on.
It looks like Jim Bailsille may become one of those pushy uninformed owners. Sources close to the Nashville Predators say he was furiously trying to get them to use their draft pick on Greg Oden.
The WWE is outraged over reports steroid use may have caused “roid rage” in Chris Benoit saying they will tear the limbs off anyone who believes it.
Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson were penalized by NASCAR for having illegal fenders after a “nose bra” didn’t conform to the proper shape. This is the most trouble an athlete has had with a bra since Dennis Rodman got married.
After finding out 317 of the more than 10,000 eligible retired players are getting disability payments NFL officials were shocked and quickly met to see how they could lower that number.
Responding to evidence that retired players are more likely to suffer acute mental illness lawyers for the NFL said “the best players have always been a bit crazy”.
The NFL is trying hard to avoid legislation that would require them to pay disability benefits arguing most of the retired players don’t have a leg to stand on.
It looks like Jim Bailsille may become one of those pushy uninformed owners. Sources close to the Nashville Predators say he was furiously trying to get them to use their draft pick on Greg Oden.
The WWE is outraged over reports steroid use may have caused “roid rage” in Chris Benoit saying they will tear the limbs off anyone who believes it.
The sad story of WWE wrestler Chris Benoit makes me wonder if drug testing needs to be considered. Call me crazy but I think some of them are using steroids.
CFL commissioner Mark Cohon says as a father he is committed to a drug testing policy for the league. As a father he is also committed to the baby bonus, school patrols and the V-Chip.
The severe housing shortage is affecting football players in Alberta. One of the proposed solutions is to follow the model of NFL players and just stay out all night.
Tank Johnson blames his recent drunk driving arrest on being too slow to yell “shotgun”.
All 225 NFL players drafted this year attended a meeting on the leagues new stricter behavior rules. Surprisingly the picks from the Cincinnati Bengals were asked to stay after class.
The Champions over 50 golf tour is considering drug testing for the upcoming year. Officials are waiting for word on whether Rogaine and Viagra are to be considered performance enhancers.
The NHL Hall of Fame is planning their next inductee celebration or as Glen Anderson calls it Passover. This year’s candidates are all worthy although I think Al MacInnis has the best shot.
Leading her volleyball team to the national championships combined with a 4.0 grade point average has earned Canadian Sarah Paven the US female University athlete player of the year award. Asked to comment Sarah says she is now set for life.
CFL commissioner Mark Cohon says as a father he is committed to a drug testing policy for the league. As a father he is also committed to the baby bonus, school patrols and the V-Chip.
The severe housing shortage is affecting football players in Alberta. One of the proposed solutions is to follow the model of NFL players and just stay out all night.
Tank Johnson blames his recent drunk driving arrest on being too slow to yell “shotgun”.
All 225 NFL players drafted this year attended a meeting on the leagues new stricter behavior rules. Surprisingly the picks from the Cincinnati Bengals were asked to stay after class.
The Champions over 50 golf tour is considering drug testing for the upcoming year. Officials are waiting for word on whether Rogaine and Viagra are to be considered performance enhancers.
The NHL Hall of Fame is planning their next inductee celebration or as Glen Anderson calls it Passover. This year’s candidates are all worthy although I think Al MacInnis has the best shot.
Leading her volleyball team to the national championships combined with a 4.0 grade point average has earned Canadian Sarah Paven the US female University athlete player of the year award. Asked to comment Sarah says she is now set for life.
Monday, June 25, 2007
June 25 2007
Wonder if the Nashville Predators are going to leave Blackberry owner Jim Basille twiddling his thumbs?
Officials with MADD in Toronto are wondering why the newest addition to the Maple Leafs has a name that rings a Bell.
Seeing Daryl Suter and Mike Keenan of the Calgary Flames select a Swede with their first pick in the draft was like having Don Cherry go to a pet store and pick out a poodle.
A cougar was spotted in the river valley of Saskatoon this weekend. Animal control officials were trying to lure her out by using a 30 year old tennis star as bait.
Kansas City is not willing to roll the dice on Milton Bradley because of the game he likes to play is Trouble.
Marion Jones the Olympic athlete under suspicion of drug use is in financial difficulties. In court she was quoted as saying she had “liquid assets of $2000” which ironically she got by using “liquid assets”.
After watching Earle Connor of Calgary break his artificial foot in the men’s 100 meter amputee race I have to wonder if solder is a performance enhancer? Breaking the foot and still winning the race was defiantly a testament to his metal.
TSN is calling July 1 “NHL Free Agent Feeding Frenzy” because a lot of GM’s are trying to use minnows to land a whopper.
Atlanta’s Bobby Cox officially became the most ejected manager in baseball history. The celebration afterwards consisted of tossed salad, chucked steak and surf and turfed.
I love University sports but it was tough to watch the Brazilians wax Canada in volleyball.
Pacman Jones was tight lipped after being charged with felony coercion with force charges saying he wouldn’t say a thing until he had talked with Barbara Walters.
Kevin Therres of Saskatchewan has created a jet funny car that can run on bio-diesel. In keeping with the environmental theme the Conservatives are hoping to have their Canadian Tire NASCAR entry run on hot air. Another advantage of having a car that runs on canola is when the engine overheats it makes great trans fat free fries.
Ousted Thailand PM Thaksin Shinawatra is under suspicion over where the money for his $162 million takeover offer of the Manchester football team came from. Officials became suspicious when the down payment was made in stamps.
Emma-Jayne Wilson became the first jockey win in the 148 year history of the Queens Plate. The win was more impressive as tradition dictated she had to ride side-saddle.
Officials with MADD in Toronto are wondering why the newest addition to the Maple Leafs has a name that rings a Bell.
Seeing Daryl Suter and Mike Keenan of the Calgary Flames select a Swede with their first pick in the draft was like having Don Cherry go to a pet store and pick out a poodle.
A cougar was spotted in the river valley of Saskatoon this weekend. Animal control officials were trying to lure her out by using a 30 year old tennis star as bait.
Kansas City is not willing to roll the dice on Milton Bradley because of the game he likes to play is Trouble.
Marion Jones the Olympic athlete under suspicion of drug use is in financial difficulties. In court she was quoted as saying she had “liquid assets of $2000” which ironically she got by using “liquid assets”.
After watching Earle Connor of Calgary break his artificial foot in the men’s 100 meter amputee race I have to wonder if solder is a performance enhancer? Breaking the foot and still winning the race was defiantly a testament to his metal.
TSN is calling July 1 “NHL Free Agent Feeding Frenzy” because a lot of GM’s are trying to use minnows to land a whopper.
Atlanta’s Bobby Cox officially became the most ejected manager in baseball history. The celebration afterwards consisted of tossed salad, chucked steak and surf and turfed.
I love University sports but it was tough to watch the Brazilians wax Canada in volleyball.
Pacman Jones was tight lipped after being charged with felony coercion with force charges saying he wouldn’t say a thing until he had talked with Barbara Walters.
Kevin Therres of Saskatchewan has created a jet funny car that can run on bio-diesel. In keeping with the environmental theme the Conservatives are hoping to have their Canadian Tire NASCAR entry run on hot air. Another advantage of having a car that runs on canola is when the engine overheats it makes great trans fat free fries.
Ousted Thailand PM Thaksin Shinawatra is under suspicion over where the money for his $162 million takeover offer of the Manchester football team came from. Officials became suspicious when the down payment was made in stamps.
Emma-Jayne Wilson became the first jockey win in the 148 year history of the Queens Plate. The win was more impressive as tradition dictated she had to ride side-saddle.
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