Watching the golfers play into the wind and rain at the British Open on a 150 year old course makes you wish the NHL would play the Stanley Cup on a historic site... like the Ottawa Canal.
Very confusing week tuned into the Weather Channel and a golf game broke out... went to the ER and a rodeo broke out... went to a eulogy and a baseball game broke out
What is it with Tiger Woods dropping his club on the greens when he misses a putt? It shows no respect for other players and you would think he has learned by now to keep control of his shaft.
With the Saskatchewan Roughriders wearing their retro jerseys it was the 1st time everyone in Calgary was cheering for the red and white
Louis Oosthuizen is cashing in on his British Open triumph with new sponsorship deals with The Gap, Chicklets and Space Mountain
CFL receivers seem to be dropping a lot of passes this season. Instead of keeping their eye on the ball the players seem to be looking on the field for loose change
The NHL rejected the contract of Ilya Kovalchuk when it was determined the last 5 years of the deal would put him under the cap hit of the CFL
Radical Muslim Clerics are demanding their followers not wear the jersey of the Manchester Red Devils. Instead they would like to see them support their local teams by wearing clothing of the Stoned to Deathers, Limb Removers or Suicide Bombers
The City of Calgary is losing population and to correct this trend they plan to have more CFL games with Saskatchewan
Top 5 signs your NHL contract may be invalid
# 5 After every game the player gets his weight in beer
# 4 Manager insists you sign it with a glitter pen
# 3 If you don’t make the playoffs the player has to mow the owners lawn
# 2 Contract expires when there is world peace
# 1 The last 3 years you are paid in chickens
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
Spy n Trade
From Edward Osborne a student in Calgary... Calgarian Jim Kinnear the CEO of Pengrowth Management paid $11 million to purchase a house that is on the 18th green of St Andrews golf and country club in Scotland. Asked why he would pay so much Kinnear said he has always wanted to retire and be able to kick millionaire golfers off his lawn.
It was tough watching the CFL game from Empire Stadium especially since they left the cameras back at the old BC Place
The images during the TSN broadcast were brutal... the wind blew the “mounted” shots like a flag in a stiff breeze... I couldn’t make out half of the players when they went into the shadows... and the only ones more clueless than the cameramen as to who had the ball was the announcers
The camera work was so bad the announcers started Tweeting “WTF?” to both their loyal followers
The NFL Network is televising some of the CFL games with the Edmonton Eskimos being only team not being shown this year. Network officials say they wanted to include them but their wives wanted nothing to do with Edmonton.
Critics are wondering why the US sent 10 spies to Russia and only received 4 back in return. The answer was pretty simple... the US needed to shed some salary to stay under the cap. As the swap comes during NBA free agency it’s being called a spy n trade
The BC Government will end up paying $925 million to stage the 2010 Winter Olympics. Officials are really excited saying it works out to less than the cost of a couple of extra tall frappe mocha non fat cinnamon foam cappuccinos per taxpayer
A recent survey show STD rates have skyrocketed in seniors with the biggest jump in men still active in pro sports. I guess when they say the guys are having a rubber match they must be breaking
NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman made over $7 million last year in salary and bonuses. If we stick him in the minors will next year’s pay count against the cap?
Oakland Police say because of budget cuts they will no longer respond to all calls and want the public to go on line to report non-life threatening crimes. In addition they are considering opening a Facebook page to post all the infractions involving the Oakland Raiders
It’s difficult to see who is having the most trouble with the cap the Chicago Blackhawks, the Miami Heat or BP
Jesse Jackson says that Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert who paid over $120 million to a player is making comments like a plantation owner about a runaway slave. Now wait a cotton picking minute...
Former NY Yankees owner George Steinbrenner has died thus paving the way for him to fire and re-hire deceased manager Billy Martin from the Angels
38 year old Cyclist Lance Armstrong has been involved in 4 accidents in this year’s Tour de France. Experts say Armstrong hasn’t yet adapted to his aging body and gets run over when he goes into the passing lane
The YMCA is changing its name to just “Y” which is being contested by Cleveland Cavaliers fans who have a trademark pending on Y??? Y??? Y???
Tiger Woods has changed his putter so now he doesn’t even have loyalty to his clubs. Someone should tell him you dance with the one who brung ya...
Tiger says his new putter has a better groove technology because what Tiger needs is to get his groove back
Mel Gibson is a big fan of World Cup football... his favourite position... strike her
Watching the golfers play into the wind and rain at the British Open on a 150 year old course makes you long for the NHL to play the Stanley Cup on a historic site... like the Ottawa Canal.
It was tough watching the CFL game from Empire Stadium especially since they left the cameras back at the old BC Place
The images during the TSN broadcast were brutal... the wind blew the “mounted” shots like a flag in a stiff breeze... I couldn’t make out half of the players when they went into the shadows... and the only ones more clueless than the cameramen as to who had the ball was the announcers
The camera work was so bad the announcers started Tweeting “WTF?” to both their loyal followers
The NFL Network is televising some of the CFL games with the Edmonton Eskimos being only team not being shown this year. Network officials say they wanted to include them but their wives wanted nothing to do with Edmonton.
Critics are wondering why the US sent 10 spies to Russia and only received 4 back in return. The answer was pretty simple... the US needed to shed some salary to stay under the cap. As the swap comes during NBA free agency it’s being called a spy n trade
The BC Government will end up paying $925 million to stage the 2010 Winter Olympics. Officials are really excited saying it works out to less than the cost of a couple of extra tall frappe mocha non fat cinnamon foam cappuccinos per taxpayer
A recent survey show STD rates have skyrocketed in seniors with the biggest jump in men still active in pro sports. I guess when they say the guys are having a rubber match they must be breaking
NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman made over $7 million last year in salary and bonuses. If we stick him in the minors will next year’s pay count against the cap?
Oakland Police say because of budget cuts they will no longer respond to all calls and want the public to go on line to report non-life threatening crimes. In addition they are considering opening a Facebook page to post all the infractions involving the Oakland Raiders
It’s difficult to see who is having the most trouble with the cap the Chicago Blackhawks, the Miami Heat or BP
Jesse Jackson says that Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert who paid over $120 million to a player is making comments like a plantation owner about a runaway slave. Now wait a cotton picking minute...
Former NY Yankees owner George Steinbrenner has died thus paving the way for him to fire and re-hire deceased manager Billy Martin from the Angels
38 year old Cyclist Lance Armstrong has been involved in 4 accidents in this year’s Tour de France. Experts say Armstrong hasn’t yet adapted to his aging body and gets run over when he goes into the passing lane
The YMCA is changing its name to just “Y” which is being contested by Cleveland Cavaliers fans who have a trademark pending on Y??? Y??? Y???
Tiger Woods has changed his putter so now he doesn’t even have loyalty to his clubs. Someone should tell him you dance with the one who brung ya...
Tiger says his new putter has a better groove technology because what Tiger needs is to get his groove back
Mel Gibson is a big fan of World Cup football... his favourite position... strike her
Watching the golfers play into the wind and rain at the British Open on a 150 year old course makes you long for the NHL to play the Stanley Cup on a historic site... like the Ottawa Canal.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The derision to the decision
It looks like Flames GM Darryl Sutter has traded in his pickup truck for a DeLorean.
Health Canada says they have over 9 million doses of the H1N1 Flu shots that will expire at the end of the year. It could have been much worse but during the World Cup there has been a huge increase in the number of football fans calling in sick with flu like symptoms
Goalies at the World Cup have a save percentage on average of .700 or as the NHL calls it Oileresque
Don Coryell the innovator behind today’s football passing schemes did this week. The funeral was held and as a tribute the pallbearers dropped back into the shotgun and rolled right before handing him off
A Chinese tight rope walker has set a Guinness book record by staying on a high wire for 60 days. This eclipsed the earlier record for balancing acts held by The Chicago Blackhawks who stayed within pennies of the salary cap
Jamarcus Russell the former 1st round pick of the Oakland Raiders was arrested and charged with possession of a cough syrup with codeine. In an effort to reduce his charges Russell apparently gave up his supplier... Snuffelufagus
An octopus has selected Spain to advance in the World Cup over Germany although I would have thought with all those hands it would have picked Uruguay
The octopus was German and named Paul but after the game ended with Spain winning he was renamed main course
A fan fell 30’ reaching for a foul ball during a Ranger-Indians game causing a 30 minute delay. This is the longest delay for a Rangers game since the team let former President and part owner George Bush write out the starting line-up
Top 5 questions Tiger Woods won’t answer
# 5 Boxers, briefs or commando?
# 4 Who got more action you or your Dad?
# 3 Did you hear any good jokes in Limerick?
# 2 Do you wash your own balls?
# 1 Do Tigers mate better in captivity or in the wild?
A leading Dutch environmental agency has taken the blame for some of the glaring errors in the Global Warming report saying they were rushed, understaffed and hung over after watching their team reach the World Cup finals
After being shut out during their game with Germany, England’s World Cup team is being called toothless thus joining the rest of the population
The Chinese government signed a $130 million deal for Canadian wheat in what was described as a difficult negotiation. Both sides argued over price, delivery and payment terms. They only came to an agreement after the Saskatchewan Roughriders agreed to toss in some watermelon helmets
Police say they know who was responsible for shooting another man following Michael Vick's birthday celebration, but the shooter will not be charged "at this time". Police say they know who the victim is but after fleeing the scene he won’t speak or roll over the shooter. Police can only speculate on the motive but think someone may have had a bone to pick with him.
An audit has found millions in fraud and graft as the Russian Olympic team prepared for the Vancouver Games. Officials say they hope to get convictions as they caught many of the offenders’ red handed
Canadian lawmakers say recreational boaters must be more prepared for possible accidents while on the water. Operators of vessels should have more experience with a sinking ship, and suggest training with the Leafs, Argos or Jays
An espionage scandal between Russia and the United States ended with a swap of prisoners between the countries. In an attempt to free up some payroll the Calgary Flames hoped to toss Ales Kotalik into the deal
Following ESPN`s 1 hour special Lebron James `The Decision ‘` is a 60 month ESPN follow-up `The Derision`` starring Cleveland, NY, Chicago and anyone who wants to watch actual sports. Does this make it eligible for job creation tax breaks
When the decision came down every son who had a mom of retirement age knew... he was headed to Miami...
BP is hoping to capitalize on the signing by capping the well before he arrives and calling it a welcoming present...
Quick... is this too much for a comic book... Lebron, Chris and Dwayne signed in Miami to team up and plug the BP oil spill in the Gulf before the tar balls land on South Beach...
Lebron said he wanted to thank the man above... Pat Riley
The economy in Cleveland must be getting better when you can burn a $200 jersey...
I bet the guy who set fire to the jersey puts it on EBay... Who wouldn`t pay 2.1 million for the charred hopes and dreams of Cleveland?
The best commercial during `The Decision" was the pitch for the Black and Decker electric butt shiner
History was made Thursday when an airplane took off and flew 24 hours using only solar power. Meanwhile the Cleveland Cavaliers have seen their NBA hopes come crashing down to earth
Since they have had no really good draft picks in the last few years the Calgary Flames have let go their scouting staff calling them redundant
The Flames now have 2 people with a GM title or a double Feaster
The humane Society is protesting in Calgary saying what is being done there is cruel and unusual punishment and that’s just what the Flames are up to, the Calgary Stampede Rodeo is bad too
Health Canada says they have over 9 million doses of the H1N1 Flu shots that will expire at the end of the year. It could have been much worse but during the World Cup there has been a huge increase in the number of football fans calling in sick with flu like symptoms
Goalies at the World Cup have a save percentage on average of .700 or as the NHL calls it Oileresque
Don Coryell the innovator behind today’s football passing schemes did this week. The funeral was held and as a tribute the pallbearers dropped back into the shotgun and rolled right before handing him off
A Chinese tight rope walker has set a Guinness book record by staying on a high wire for 60 days. This eclipsed the earlier record for balancing acts held by The Chicago Blackhawks who stayed within pennies of the salary cap
Jamarcus Russell the former 1st round pick of the Oakland Raiders was arrested and charged with possession of a cough syrup with codeine. In an effort to reduce his charges Russell apparently gave up his supplier... Snuffelufagus
An octopus has selected Spain to advance in the World Cup over Germany although I would have thought with all those hands it would have picked Uruguay
The octopus was German and named Paul but after the game ended with Spain winning he was renamed main course
A fan fell 30’ reaching for a foul ball during a Ranger-Indians game causing a 30 minute delay. This is the longest delay for a Rangers game since the team let former President and part owner George Bush write out the starting line-up
Top 5 questions Tiger Woods won’t answer
# 5 Boxers, briefs or commando?
# 4 Who got more action you or your Dad?
# 3 Did you hear any good jokes in Limerick?
# 2 Do you wash your own balls?
# 1 Do Tigers mate better in captivity or in the wild?
A leading Dutch environmental agency has taken the blame for some of the glaring errors in the Global Warming report saying they were rushed, understaffed and hung over after watching their team reach the World Cup finals
After being shut out during their game with Germany, England’s World Cup team is being called toothless thus joining the rest of the population
The Chinese government signed a $130 million deal for Canadian wheat in what was described as a difficult negotiation. Both sides argued over price, delivery and payment terms. They only came to an agreement after the Saskatchewan Roughriders agreed to toss in some watermelon helmets
Police say they know who was responsible for shooting another man following Michael Vick's birthday celebration, but the shooter will not be charged "at this time". Police say they know who the victim is but after fleeing the scene he won’t speak or roll over the shooter. Police can only speculate on the motive but think someone may have had a bone to pick with him.
An audit has found millions in fraud and graft as the Russian Olympic team prepared for the Vancouver Games. Officials say they hope to get convictions as they caught many of the offenders’ red handed
Canadian lawmakers say recreational boaters must be more prepared for possible accidents while on the water. Operators of vessels should have more experience with a sinking ship, and suggest training with the Leafs, Argos or Jays
An espionage scandal between Russia and the United States ended with a swap of prisoners between the countries. In an attempt to free up some payroll the Calgary Flames hoped to toss Ales Kotalik into the deal
Following ESPN`s 1 hour special Lebron James `The Decision ‘` is a 60 month ESPN follow-up `The Derision`` starring Cleveland, NY, Chicago and anyone who wants to watch actual sports. Does this make it eligible for job creation tax breaks
When the decision came down every son who had a mom of retirement age knew... he was headed to Miami...
BP is hoping to capitalize on the signing by capping the well before he arrives and calling it a welcoming present...
Quick... is this too much for a comic book... Lebron, Chris and Dwayne signed in Miami to team up and plug the BP oil spill in the Gulf before the tar balls land on South Beach...
Lebron said he wanted to thank the man above... Pat Riley
The economy in Cleveland must be getting better when you can burn a $200 jersey...
I bet the guy who set fire to the jersey puts it on EBay... Who wouldn`t pay 2.1 million for the charred hopes and dreams of Cleveland?
The best commercial during `The Decision" was the pitch for the Black and Decker electric butt shiner
History was made Thursday when an airplane took off and flew 24 hours using only solar power. Meanwhile the Cleveland Cavaliers have seen their NBA hopes come crashing down to earth
Since they have had no really good draft picks in the last few years the Calgary Flames have let go their scouting staff calling them redundant
The Flames now have 2 people with a GM title or a double Feaster
The humane Society is protesting in Calgary saying what is being done there is cruel and unusual punishment and that’s just what the Flames are up to, the Calgary Stampede Rodeo is bad too
Monday, June 28, 2010
Upon fewer review
There were 300 arrests Saturday evening in Toronto as part of the Gr8 protest slightly more than the number arrested during riots following the English/American World Cup losses earlier in the day.
When told there were 300 arrested in protest to the loss of civil and environmental controls and corporate raiders a British Football supporter was quoted as saying “cute”.
A spokesperson for the riot says they hope to make a small profit from a combination of the revenue from looting, blog related advertising and better than projected prices on raw materials. This was due to surplus sticks, bricks, pucks, Molotov cocktails and kegs leftover from the Montreal Canadians short lived playoff run
Who says Harper doesn’t attend extravagant arts and culture ceremonies with wildly divergent forms of artistic expression?
They arrested and held the rioters in an old film studio; I think the previous movie filmed there was a Police Squad sequel. The processing center was a boon to the anarchists who were taking civil disobedience majors in College as they could edit their term papers on the spot.
Do you call a guy with a cell phone at a riot embedded or does he have to get bedded 1st? I am so jealous. There are really hot women in passionate debate of the issues leading today’s riots. When I was a young rioter we were lucky if we got a pretty RN in recovery
The Gr8 Riot of Toronto was so familiar. When I was a kid it was called the boys got drunk... someone hit a Cop... with a car... a fire got started... the boys were in jail and the women had to go and bail their asses out. The proper name in Saskatchewan wasn’t riot it was called a Bonspiel
Top 5 signs your riot left over from the Montreal Canadians playoff run
# 5 It is funded with a Canada Council Grant
# 4 Smoking is recommended
# 3 Invitations state dress is black tie & balaclava
# 2 Pucks are added to the traditional police car torching
# 1 The rioters making a difference are the ones wearing Jaroslav Halack masks
I was kinda creeped out by the reaction of Peter Mansbridge to all the coverage that was supplied from freelance sources. I thought he should have spent more time with the new British Prime Minister instead of constantly asking the interns if he was still relevant...
The CBC really went all out with the coverage... but with the previous network commitments I found it hard to tell what was World Cup rioting and what was Gr8 rioting.
I thought the CBC had all the right angles and bringing in Don Cherry for a special Coaches Corner was a masterstroke. Don was in fine form showing how Canadian rioters were far more aggressive in the corners than their Swedish counterparts
You know what the Gr8 security needed to help with crowd control? A few dozen hockey referees. It was a riot in Toronto. A few guys in Zebra stripes giving out penalties, it would have been over in less than 3 hours commercials included.
Most of the rioters had probably played hockey and just the sight of a referee would be enough to have them drop the puck and head to a penalty box.
I spent the weekend glued to the cover as the great minds sat around tables and plotted the future with expert assistance and commentary. The end really was a bit of a surprise with the winner being Team Taylor over Team Tyler. I smell a sequel to Twilight!
I wonder who had more hand infractions this weekend players during World Cup Games, anarchists at the Gr8 Riot or Cougars prowling the NHL teenage draft?
The Alberta Government released a report saying they are only $1 billion in debt for this year instead of the projected $4.5 billion. The announcement was timed to coincide with the Wildrose Party meeting and a way of showing fiscal conservatives they had a grip on the finances. It just feels like the Phoenix Coyotes – Jim Balsille court fight. Substitute Gary Bettman for Ed Stelmach and Jim Balsille for Danielle Smith and the game is the same as they are both fighting for power, money and are on thin ice with the rules.
Being a member of the Calgary Flames draft team had the same clout as being the Greek finance minister at the G 20 Summit.
I felt bad for Brian Burke and Daryl Sutter when the other owners made the Flames and the Leafs sit at a kiddie draft tables.
F1 was thankful a catastrophe was averted during a spectacular crash this weekend that ended up with the driver walking away. After reviewing the video it was confirmed that the poster he flew over was a licensed sponsor of the circuit.
There was over 110,000 people in Philadelphia for the 3 game Jays home stand and increase over the 100,000 fans the Jays had for the month of June
FIFA is taking calls for replay on controversial goals very seriously and hope to have an answer when they meet in a retreat in Tahiti to discuss efficiencies.
The CFL Players Association has agreed to a new collective bargaining agreement that sets a new minimum wage in line with the wages of the concession workers other pro sports teams.
When the CFLPA says they had to make concessions in this contract, it took players a while to learn how to make popcorn without burning it
The agreement also has a new drug testing policy. The players will be randomly tested. Recreational drugs are not included as any athlete making what they do need access to drugs that make you forget.
The Alberta Government has increased the number of retirement beds in the Province just in time to see the Flames and Oilers send a bunch of veterans out to pasture.
FIFA says they will revisit technology upgrades in future World Cups. They hope to have news and will issue a press release once the typesetters return from vacation
I wonder if Oilers who were released or waived felt like a Martin Luther King Jr. speech... Free from last... Free from last...
The term Free Agency as applied to millionaire athletes is like the term Corporate Oversight to Wall Street brokers
Four Russians are alleged to have been spies for Russia and were found to have forged Canadian identities. Officials became suspicious when the individuals pronounced about “aboot”, thought Ron Lancaster was a curler and cheered for Russia in the Olympic hockey tournament
A spokesman for the US border services said Canadians blend in so well because they sound American. This was followed with an angry call from Quebec for an apology and for funds to form a committee examining potential damage awards to all French Canadians.
One of the spy suspects has a racy Facebook page with pictures of her in various stages of dress which should have been a tip off as not a one of them was filmed wearing a Flames, Leafs or Canadians jersey
One of the alleged spies has disappeared and authorities are worried he may play hockey which would pretty well make him invisible to the US public
I love how the teams in pro sport agree to a salary cap and then spend millions buying out contracts, sending salary to the minors or “loaning” players to a KLH squad... in an effort to stay under the salary cap. The salary cap counts only as much as a conscious counts to a money manager from Goldman Saks
The Calgary Flames are trying to rid themselves of the contract of Ales Kotalik and will buy him out if necessary for the cost of $ 4 million or roughly the team salary of the Calgary Stampeders 32 man roster for 2010.
I don’t know what I am going to watch when the World Cup ends as the only Network that regularly broadcasts less scoring at 7:00 AM is Nickleodeon
I really hope he makes a comeback but it is beginning to look like a Cheechoo train wreck
Nigeria has pulled funding for their national football team and they will not compete with other nations for 2 years as backlash for the team not making it to the World Cup playoff. The move has been criticized as counterproductive because Nigeria can only get better by playing world class teams. NHL experts say it is like giving away 2 1st round draft picks for a proven scorer
When told there were 300 arrested in protest to the loss of civil and environmental controls and corporate raiders a British Football supporter was quoted as saying “cute”.
A spokesperson for the riot says they hope to make a small profit from a combination of the revenue from looting, blog related advertising and better than projected prices on raw materials. This was due to surplus sticks, bricks, pucks, Molotov cocktails and kegs leftover from the Montreal Canadians short lived playoff run
Who says Harper doesn’t attend extravagant arts and culture ceremonies with wildly divergent forms of artistic expression?
They arrested and held the rioters in an old film studio; I think the previous movie filmed there was a Police Squad sequel. The processing center was a boon to the anarchists who were taking civil disobedience majors in College as they could edit their term papers on the spot.
Do you call a guy with a cell phone at a riot embedded or does he have to get bedded 1st? I am so jealous. There are really hot women in passionate debate of the issues leading today’s riots. When I was a young rioter we were lucky if we got a pretty RN in recovery
The Gr8 Riot of Toronto was so familiar. When I was a kid it was called the boys got drunk... someone hit a Cop... with a car... a fire got started... the boys were in jail and the women had to go and bail their asses out. The proper name in Saskatchewan wasn’t riot it was called a Bonspiel
Top 5 signs your riot left over from the Montreal Canadians playoff run
# 5 It is funded with a Canada Council Grant
# 4 Smoking is recommended
# 3 Invitations state dress is black tie & balaclava
# 2 Pucks are added to the traditional police car torching
# 1 The rioters making a difference are the ones wearing Jaroslav Halack masks
I was kinda creeped out by the reaction of Peter Mansbridge to all the coverage that was supplied from freelance sources. I thought he should have spent more time with the new British Prime Minister instead of constantly asking the interns if he was still relevant...
The CBC really went all out with the coverage... but with the previous network commitments I found it hard to tell what was World Cup rioting and what was Gr8 rioting.
I thought the CBC had all the right angles and bringing in Don Cherry for a special Coaches Corner was a masterstroke. Don was in fine form showing how Canadian rioters were far more aggressive in the corners than their Swedish counterparts
You know what the Gr8 security needed to help with crowd control? A few dozen hockey referees. It was a riot in Toronto. A few guys in Zebra stripes giving out penalties, it would have been over in less than 3 hours commercials included.
Most of the rioters had probably played hockey and just the sight of a referee would be enough to have them drop the puck and head to a penalty box.
I spent the weekend glued to the cover as the great minds sat around tables and plotted the future with expert assistance and commentary. The end really was a bit of a surprise with the winner being Team Taylor over Team Tyler. I smell a sequel to Twilight!
I wonder who had more hand infractions this weekend players during World Cup Games, anarchists at the Gr8 Riot or Cougars prowling the NHL teenage draft?
The Alberta Government released a report saying they are only $1 billion in debt for this year instead of the projected $4.5 billion. The announcement was timed to coincide with the Wildrose Party meeting and a way of showing fiscal conservatives they had a grip on the finances. It just feels like the Phoenix Coyotes – Jim Balsille court fight. Substitute Gary Bettman for Ed Stelmach and Jim Balsille for Danielle Smith and the game is the same as they are both fighting for power, money and are on thin ice with the rules.
Being a member of the Calgary Flames draft team had the same clout as being the Greek finance minister at the G 20 Summit.
I felt bad for Brian Burke and Daryl Sutter when the other owners made the Flames and the Leafs sit at a kiddie draft tables.
F1 was thankful a catastrophe was averted during a spectacular crash this weekend that ended up with the driver walking away. After reviewing the video it was confirmed that the poster he flew over was a licensed sponsor of the circuit.
There was over 110,000 people in Philadelphia for the 3 game Jays home stand and increase over the 100,000 fans the Jays had for the month of June
FIFA is taking calls for replay on controversial goals very seriously and hope to have an answer when they meet in a retreat in Tahiti to discuss efficiencies.
The CFL Players Association has agreed to a new collective bargaining agreement that sets a new minimum wage in line with the wages of the concession workers other pro sports teams.
When the CFLPA says they had to make concessions in this contract, it took players a while to learn how to make popcorn without burning it
The agreement also has a new drug testing policy. The players will be randomly tested. Recreational drugs are not included as any athlete making what they do need access to drugs that make you forget.
The Alberta Government has increased the number of retirement beds in the Province just in time to see the Flames and Oilers send a bunch of veterans out to pasture.
FIFA says they will revisit technology upgrades in future World Cups. They hope to have news and will issue a press release once the typesetters return from vacation
I wonder if Oilers who were released or waived felt like a Martin Luther King Jr. speech... Free from last... Free from last...
The term Free Agency as applied to millionaire athletes is like the term Corporate Oversight to Wall Street brokers
Four Russians are alleged to have been spies for Russia and were found to have forged Canadian identities. Officials became suspicious when the individuals pronounced about “aboot”, thought Ron Lancaster was a curler and cheered for Russia in the Olympic hockey tournament
A spokesman for the US border services said Canadians blend in so well because they sound American. This was followed with an angry call from Quebec for an apology and for funds to form a committee examining potential damage awards to all French Canadians.
One of the spy suspects has a racy Facebook page with pictures of her in various stages of dress which should have been a tip off as not a one of them was filmed wearing a Flames, Leafs or Canadians jersey
One of the alleged spies has disappeared and authorities are worried he may play hockey which would pretty well make him invisible to the US public
I love how the teams in pro sport agree to a salary cap and then spend millions buying out contracts, sending salary to the minors or “loaning” players to a KLH squad... in an effort to stay under the salary cap. The salary cap counts only as much as a conscious counts to a money manager from Goldman Saks
The Calgary Flames are trying to rid themselves of the contract of Ales Kotalik and will buy him out if necessary for the cost of $ 4 million or roughly the team salary of the Calgary Stampeders 32 man roster for 2010.
I don’t know what I am going to watch when the World Cup ends as the only Network that regularly broadcasts less scoring at 7:00 AM is Nickleodeon
I really hope he makes a comeback but it is beginning to look like a Cheechoo train wreck
Nigeria has pulled funding for their national football team and they will not compete with other nations for 2 years as backlash for the team not making it to the World Cup playoff. The move has been criticized as counterproductive because Nigeria can only get better by playing world class teams. NHL experts say it is like giving away 2 1st round draft picks for a proven scorer
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Soccer Blu!
The French have a name for someone who is sent home with pay for disgraceful performance and conduct... the working class.
In honour of the French team’s performance the 24 hours of Le Mans will be re-named the Grand Pricks
The French performance has called for a radical overhaul of the influence bureaucracy is having on team morale. And they will... once the Ad Hoc Committee is formed they expect to issue a statement mission in the New Year
This has to be the 1st time a Frenchman has complained after being sent home from his job early. Except for retirement
African Nations are having a difficult time getting through the qualifiers and in an ironic repeat of most 3rd world aid, the celebration in South Africa has eliminated the hosts.
It must be a real ironic twist for Americans to go into Africa and get robbed by officials rather than bribing them to rob Africans
Pat Quinn got a promotion from the Edmonton Oilers from Head Coach to special assistant. This is like the CEO of BP getting a promotion from managing the Gulf oil crisis to cleaning oily pelicans
The Calgary Flames are getting set for the upcoming NHL entry draft or as they are calling it Passover
The San Jose Sharks have parted ways with goaltender Evengi Nabokov saying they wanted to go a different direction... as winners
A 5.0 earthquake rocked Ontario and Quebec this week. The last time the ground had shook this much was when Sidney Crosby scored the Golden Goal for team Canada
The quake rattled windows and tossed valuables off display cases but fortunately no Toronto sports team had any hardware to break
It’s fun watching a rookie from small town Canada standing up at a podium in Vegas to accept an award. I especially liked their speeches and the way they thanked the person most responsible for getting them to where they are... the cooks
There have been a record number of Bear attacks reported in parts of Canada this year. But by far and away the most clawing of Canadians has to go to the cougars and the hockey players at the NHL awards. If they finally decide to put an NHL team in Saskatoon you can bet they will name it the Cougars. One enterprising agent is pitching an adult video called “The Cougars of the Saskatoon Valley”
The NHL promised big name entertainment in Vegas and they delivered with George Stroumboulopoulos
When 6’9” Tyler Meyers won the Calder Cup he brought up foolscap lined paper filled with a list of people to thank. I don’t think he is a polished speaker yet. The only thing shaking more than his paper were the new rookies sitting in the audience.
The band Shinedown played their hit Sound of Madness or as it is known by in the NHLPA... a conference call
I guess it was fitting for the US Military to present a trophy at the NHL awards. The Canadian teams especially have ties as the Leafs are “being all they can be”, the Flames are “an army of one” and the Oilers are sending baby faced recruits into live fire
A Canadian official is under fire by hinting the Chinese may be increasing their influence by giving money to Government programs. This has caused a scandal as the process of bribing officials already has rules similar to getting an NHL franchise and no one asked Gary Bettman for permission
A car in Toronto was stopped by Police and found packed with pick axes, gasoline containers, baseball bats, a crossbow and chainsaws. At first there was a concern over a terrorist plot at the G-20 Conference but later is was revealed to be just an English fan stocking up before the big World Cup game with Germany
A men’s single Wimbledon tennis match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut finally ended when Isner got a winner in the 5th set with a score of 70-68. This is the longest match in tennis history just beating out the Chrissy Evert Jimmy McEnroe match of the ‘80’s
In honour of the French team’s performance the 24 hours of Le Mans will be re-named the Grand Pricks
The French performance has called for a radical overhaul of the influence bureaucracy is having on team morale. And they will... once the Ad Hoc Committee is formed they expect to issue a statement mission in the New Year
This has to be the 1st time a Frenchman has complained after being sent home from his job early. Except for retirement
African Nations are having a difficult time getting through the qualifiers and in an ironic repeat of most 3rd world aid, the celebration in South Africa has eliminated the hosts.
It must be a real ironic twist for Americans to go into Africa and get robbed by officials rather than bribing them to rob Africans
Pat Quinn got a promotion from the Edmonton Oilers from Head Coach to special assistant. This is like the CEO of BP getting a promotion from managing the Gulf oil crisis to cleaning oily pelicans
The Calgary Flames are getting set for the upcoming NHL entry draft or as they are calling it Passover
The San Jose Sharks have parted ways with goaltender Evengi Nabokov saying they wanted to go a different direction... as winners
A 5.0 earthquake rocked Ontario and Quebec this week. The last time the ground had shook this much was when Sidney Crosby scored the Golden Goal for team Canada
The quake rattled windows and tossed valuables off display cases but fortunately no Toronto sports team had any hardware to break
It’s fun watching a rookie from small town Canada standing up at a podium in Vegas to accept an award. I especially liked their speeches and the way they thanked the person most responsible for getting them to where they are... the cooks
There have been a record number of Bear attacks reported in parts of Canada this year. But by far and away the most clawing of Canadians has to go to the cougars and the hockey players at the NHL awards. If they finally decide to put an NHL team in Saskatoon you can bet they will name it the Cougars. One enterprising agent is pitching an adult video called “The Cougars of the Saskatoon Valley”
The NHL promised big name entertainment in Vegas and they delivered with George Stroumboulopoulos
When 6’9” Tyler Meyers won the Calder Cup he brought up foolscap lined paper filled with a list of people to thank. I don’t think he is a polished speaker yet. The only thing shaking more than his paper were the new rookies sitting in the audience.
The band Shinedown played their hit Sound of Madness or as it is known by in the NHLPA... a conference call
I guess it was fitting for the US Military to present a trophy at the NHL awards. The Canadian teams especially have ties as the Leafs are “being all they can be”, the Flames are “an army of one” and the Oilers are sending baby faced recruits into live fire
A Canadian official is under fire by hinting the Chinese may be increasing their influence by giving money to Government programs. This has caused a scandal as the process of bribing officials already has rules similar to getting an NHL franchise and no one asked Gary Bettman for permission
A car in Toronto was stopped by Police and found packed with pick axes, gasoline containers, baseball bats, a crossbow and chainsaws. At first there was a concern over a terrorist plot at the G-20 Conference but later is was revealed to be just an English fan stocking up before the big World Cup game with Germany
A men’s single Wimbledon tennis match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut finally ended when Isner got a winner in the 5th set with a score of 70-68. This is the longest match in tennis history just beating out the Chrissy Evert Jimmy McEnroe match of the ‘80’s
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Skirting the issue
The terminology between American football and World Cup football is so different. For instance in the World Cup a set piece is when players line up for a free or corner kick whereas in American football it’s when you have a groupie waiting for you at a hotel.
World Cup referees have been given lessons in detecting profanities in both French and English. Referees were given speeches by former PM Jean Chretien as he was able to swear in neither official language.
You know Argentina was dominating Nigeria in World Cup play when their coach Diego Maradona had more touches than most of the Nigerian side
Maradona is in a spat with Brazilian great Pele saying he should be put in a museum which is ironic as most football fans see Maradona as the one to be placed in an institution
Can’t believe all the fuss over the horn blowing this week I mean if Dion Phaneuf thinks he can be captain of the Leafs more power to him
After watching Brazil barely squeak by North Korea during World Cup play it appears the North Koreans were able to disguise players with rockets for shots. Leader of North Korea Kim Jong-Il has paid 1000 Chinese actors to cheer for their team in South Africa. After hearing a team is paying to have fans watch an overmatched squad Leafs GM Brian Burke called for the civilized world to remove this dangerous despot.
Tennessee Titans QB Vince Young was involved in a fight at a club when a bouncer gave him the upside down Texas Longhorns salute. Asked to comment NFL Commissioner Roger Godel gave an entirely different hand gesture
A report on wellbeing of Canadians say the average person spends less time on leisure than 10 years ago. The only groups to have an increase were the Blue Jays, Argonauts and Leafs
The Calgary Stampede chose Oklahoma cowboys Jet and Cord McCoy of the American TV show Amazing Race as this year’s parade marshal. Asked why they didn’t select one of the many Olympic athletes from Canada, Stampede officials gave a whole lot of bull
The Saskatchewan Roughriders will wear a retro red, silver and black jersey this year in honour of their 100th anniversary. They will also sell 2010 of the jerseys although the exact amount will be confirmed after a re-count
The US Government is investigating reports of a Sasquatch citing but the mystery may be solved and now that the Stanley Cup playoffs are over Philadelphia Flyers forward Scott Hartnell says he will shave.
After the BP Chairman referred to small people there was a huge uproar with many groups demanded an apology including shrimp worker, short order cooks and the Montreal Canadians
The comments were taken personally by Gary Bettman who demanded BP buy the Phoenix Coyotes as compensation
In an attempt to capitalize on the excitement of World Cup BP says they will enlist the help of Korean footballers and try to contain the spill in the Gulf using a Jung shot
Warren Buffett is urging billionaires to give away half their wealth to charities. Experts say this could potentially cure many diseases, save the environment or keep hockey in the Sunbelt States
The Dutch Embassy is protesting the arrest of women who wore orange miniskirts to do a World Cup ambush promotion for a brewery saying the charges don’t have a tanned, nicely shaped leg to stand on
World Cup referees have been given lessons in detecting profanities in both French and English. Referees were given speeches by former PM Jean Chretien as he was able to swear in neither official language.
You know Argentina was dominating Nigeria in World Cup play when their coach Diego Maradona had more touches than most of the Nigerian side
Maradona is in a spat with Brazilian great Pele saying he should be put in a museum which is ironic as most football fans see Maradona as the one to be placed in an institution
Can’t believe all the fuss over the horn blowing this week I mean if Dion Phaneuf thinks he can be captain of the Leafs more power to him
After watching Brazil barely squeak by North Korea during World Cup play it appears the North Koreans were able to disguise players with rockets for shots. Leader of North Korea Kim Jong-Il has paid 1000 Chinese actors to cheer for their team in South Africa. After hearing a team is paying to have fans watch an overmatched squad Leafs GM Brian Burke called for the civilized world to remove this dangerous despot.
Tennessee Titans QB Vince Young was involved in a fight at a club when a bouncer gave him the upside down Texas Longhorns salute. Asked to comment NFL Commissioner Roger Godel gave an entirely different hand gesture
A report on wellbeing of Canadians say the average person spends less time on leisure than 10 years ago. The only groups to have an increase were the Blue Jays, Argonauts and Leafs
The Calgary Stampede chose Oklahoma cowboys Jet and Cord McCoy of the American TV show Amazing Race as this year’s parade marshal. Asked why they didn’t select one of the many Olympic athletes from Canada, Stampede officials gave a whole lot of bull
The Saskatchewan Roughriders will wear a retro red, silver and black jersey this year in honour of their 100th anniversary. They will also sell 2010 of the jerseys although the exact amount will be confirmed after a re-count
The US Government is investigating reports of a Sasquatch citing but the mystery may be solved and now that the Stanley Cup playoffs are over Philadelphia Flyers forward Scott Hartnell says he will shave.
After the BP Chairman referred to small people there was a huge uproar with many groups demanded an apology including shrimp worker, short order cooks and the Montreal Canadians
The comments were taken personally by Gary Bettman who demanded BP buy the Phoenix Coyotes as compensation
In an attempt to capitalize on the excitement of World Cup BP says they will enlist the help of Korean footballers and try to contain the spill in the Gulf using a Jung shot
Warren Buffett is urging billionaires to give away half their wealth to charities. Experts say this could potentially cure many diseases, save the environment or keep hockey in the Sunbelt States
The Dutch Embassy is protesting the arrest of women who wore orange miniskirts to do a World Cup ambush promotion for a brewery saying the charges don’t have a tanned, nicely shaped leg to stand on
Thursday, June 10, 2010
A real Corker!
90 year old White House reporter Helen Thomas resigned after controversial comments about Israel. Asked for his opinion Don Cherry said he upset she was forced out and blamed it on French Canadians, Russians and Swedes.
I don’t know what the big deal is with Pete Rose having a corked bat. Some of the best sportswriters have been corked for years... right... Hartley... Cam?
Toronto Raptors forward Hedo Turkoglu says he wants out of the City and is asking to be traded to another club preferably Club Supersex
The Edmonton Eskimos announced they have sold all of the tickets for the upcoming Grey Cup game. They credit it to their marketing efforts towards women by calling the game Stars on Ice
A new report says getting hit in minor hockey causes injuries. This contradicts earlier reports saying getting hit results in fairy dust and lemon drops. The report goes on to suggest keeping kids safely indoors eating chips, drinking pop and taking blood thinners to avoid heart attacks.
A company in England is being investigated for selling a machine that is supposed to detect bombs but in fact is useless. The fraud came to life when it didn’t go off during a Flames/Leafs game
A Portuguese photographer was robbed at gunpoint Wednesday at a World Cup hotel. The man was unconcerned saying it was still cheaper than the hotels minibar.
The online social network Twitter is preparing for a record number of tweets per day during the World Cup. Coincidentally with the number of drunken fans South African police say they expect a huge increase in the number of twits as well. FYI if you are acting like a twit and you are hit with a police baton the proper tweet is “thwack”.
A Calgary candidate for mayor is touting the idea of applying for the 2022 Winter Olympics. He says he would have applied for the Summer Games but he doesn’t have 2020 vision.
Scientists say they will try a new sucker system to get oil out of the Gulf of Mexico. They say the suckers were delayed because of previous commitments to buying a hockey team in Phoenix
A minor league baseball team in Florida will no longer refer to batting practice with its commonly used moniker, "BP," in protest of the British Petroleum oil spill. They will also forbid players from making a slick play, uttering crude remarks or taking a leak.
I’m so old I can remember when “No Sex Please... We’re British” was a movie and not a directive to England’s World Cup players
New World Cup motto for England... Abstinence makes the halves seem longer...
The CFL says it will equip quarterbacks' helmets with special headsets that allow coaches to communicate directly with their pivots. Because of cost restraints teams will use commercial AM channels requiring the QB to be more dialled in than usual. As a way of increasing revenue the CFL is considering expanding the 20 second clock to allow teams to run commercials.
Seattle Seahawks Golden Tate was given a "trespass warning" for breaking into a Top Pot at 3 AM Saturday morning and taking a donut. Team officials were shocked saying they are now questioning Tate’s intelligence as robbing a donut shop is sure to bring cops out in full force.
A Mohave County judge on Wednesday dismissed all Arizona charges against polygamist leader Warren Jeffs. The ruling is expected to hinder prosecution of cases against suspected polygamists in the State, but be a boon in the recruiting efforts of the NBA’s Phoenix Suns.
Police in Ontario are looking for a man who bought 1200 lbs of ammonia nitrate which is used as fertilizer but can be a part of a bomb. Police were suspicious as the spreading of fertilizer in Ontario is usually done during planting season in April or in September at the training camp for the Leafs.
Top 5 signs you may not win the Canadian Grand Prix in Montreal
# 5 You need a GPS device to follow the circuit
# 4 The Oil in your gear box is from the BP Gulf spill
# 3 You got beat by your 6 year old niece in Wii Mario Kart
# 2 You spend the night before having a poutine eating contest
# 1 You demand an ashtray be added to the cockpit
You know Tiger Woods has agreed to play in Limerick Ireland because he started his press release with “There once was a golfer from Nantucket...”
I don’t know what the big deal is with Pete Rose having a corked bat. Some of the best sportswriters have been corked for years... right... Hartley... Cam?
Toronto Raptors forward Hedo Turkoglu says he wants out of the City and is asking to be traded to another club preferably Club Supersex
The Edmonton Eskimos announced they have sold all of the tickets for the upcoming Grey Cup game. They credit it to their marketing efforts towards women by calling the game Stars on Ice
A new report says getting hit in minor hockey causes injuries. This contradicts earlier reports saying getting hit results in fairy dust and lemon drops. The report goes on to suggest keeping kids safely indoors eating chips, drinking pop and taking blood thinners to avoid heart attacks.
A company in England is being investigated for selling a machine that is supposed to detect bombs but in fact is useless. The fraud came to life when it didn’t go off during a Flames/Leafs game
A Portuguese photographer was robbed at gunpoint Wednesday at a World Cup hotel. The man was unconcerned saying it was still cheaper than the hotels minibar.
The online social network Twitter is preparing for a record number of tweets per day during the World Cup. Coincidentally with the number of drunken fans South African police say they expect a huge increase in the number of twits as well. FYI if you are acting like a twit and you are hit with a police baton the proper tweet is “thwack”.
A Calgary candidate for mayor is touting the idea of applying for the 2022 Winter Olympics. He says he would have applied for the Summer Games but he doesn’t have 2020 vision.
Scientists say they will try a new sucker system to get oil out of the Gulf of Mexico. They say the suckers were delayed because of previous commitments to buying a hockey team in Phoenix
A minor league baseball team in Florida will no longer refer to batting practice with its commonly used moniker, "BP," in protest of the British Petroleum oil spill. They will also forbid players from making a slick play, uttering crude remarks or taking a leak.
I’m so old I can remember when “No Sex Please... We’re British” was a movie and not a directive to England’s World Cup players
New World Cup motto for England... Abstinence makes the halves seem longer...
The CFL says it will equip quarterbacks' helmets with special headsets that allow coaches to communicate directly with their pivots. Because of cost restraints teams will use commercial AM channels requiring the QB to be more dialled in than usual. As a way of increasing revenue the CFL is considering expanding the 20 second clock to allow teams to run commercials.
Seattle Seahawks Golden Tate was given a "trespass warning" for breaking into a Top Pot at 3 AM Saturday morning and taking a donut. Team officials were shocked saying they are now questioning Tate’s intelligence as robbing a donut shop is sure to bring cops out in full force.
A Mohave County judge on Wednesday dismissed all Arizona charges against polygamist leader Warren Jeffs. The ruling is expected to hinder prosecution of cases against suspected polygamists in the State, but be a boon in the recruiting efforts of the NBA’s Phoenix Suns.
Police in Ontario are looking for a man who bought 1200 lbs of ammonia nitrate which is used as fertilizer but can be a part of a bomb. Police were suspicious as the spreading of fertilizer in Ontario is usually done during planting season in April or in September at the training camp for the Leafs.
Top 5 signs you may not win the Canadian Grand Prix in Montreal
# 5 You need a GPS device to follow the circuit
# 4 The Oil in your gear box is from the BP Gulf spill
# 3 You got beat by your 6 year old niece in Wii Mario Kart
# 2 You spend the night before having a poutine eating contest
# 1 You demand an ashtray be added to the cockpit
You know Tiger Woods has agreed to play in Limerick Ireland because he started his press release with “There once was a golfer from Nantucket...”
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