TSN spent a lot of the West final discussing Roughrider QB Darian Durant talking to his father at half time during the Riders last game with BC. Calgary Stampeders DB Brendan Browner tried the same thing but he must have been put on hold.
Ajax Amsterdam suspended striker Luis Suarez for two matches for biting an opponent. With the way soccer players like to embellish he was probably just pretending to take a bite.
Oprah gave everyone in her audience a Volkswagen Beetle which is the most free bugs given to an audience since the last NBA All star game
The union head for the NBA says he is 99% certain the league will lock out the players for next year and is advising his clients to save their money. So it looks like LeBron James will just have to settle for taking his towel to South Beach.
The Pope has changed years of Catholic doctrine by saying there is some groups that should be allowed to use condoms. The Pope says condoms should be available for prostitutes, sex trade workers and NFL players.
The Alberta Government is using some athletes in their campaign to try and reduce bullying among school children. The ads focus on kids being told that just because someone says or does something they don’t agree with does not give them the right to bully or exclude them from groups. The ads will be given air time on TV once the government has finished ejecting members from cabinet who complain about the health care system.
A report to the Federal Government shows 82 first nation’s leaders make more money than the PM. In exceptional cases some native leaders make almost as much as a 4th line centre for the Toronto Maple Leafs.
Ontario is on edge as a judge is set to rule on a prostitution law that could make the sale of sex legal and uncontrolled in the Province. Finally some good news for the Toronto Raptors as this could help in the signing of big name free agents.
The new book by Sarah Palin in which she promotes good old fashioned US values has her wearing a US flag bracelet that looks suspiciously like one made in China.
Edmonton Eskimos DE Adam Braidwood was charged with unlawful confinement after it was alleged he kept a man in the trunk of his car. The incident is unusual as it is one of the rare times a defensive lineman gets charged with holding.
Tennessee Titans QB Vince Young has apologized to his coach after having a meltdown by sending him a text. Asked what he thought Brett Favre said he thought the method was revealing.
Canada will apply to host the 2015 FIFA World Cup of soccer or as the MLS call it a smorgasbroad.
What is with the Toronto Raptors? They are winning, playing entertaining basketball and all without Chris Bosh videos showing fans how to vote for in for the All Star team.
A new survey shows Canadians are in favour of healthier options in fast food restaurants. The survey says it will improve health for those that mostly eat the food including the poor, people on fixed incomes and CFL teams on road trips trying to stretch their per diems.
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Wally Ball
I wasn’t until the Edmonton Eskimo punter Derek Schieveone hit an 18 yarder in the last minute of a half I got the shrives at least one word play. It’s like being a golfer named Whiff, a tennis player named Fault or a Leaf labelled can’t miss.
It seems like everyone is afraid of having the BC Lions into the playoffs and with a questionable QB, suspect defence and a rash of injuries I think the other teams are worried Wally Buono is going to suit up for the game
Top 5 signs it’s CFL playoff time
# 5 The Leafs and Oilers are almost mathematically eliminated from their playoff run
# 4 Baseball has been over for an hour
# 3 After passing for 70% of the year offenses now stress running
# 2 Per diems for players is increased by $2.25
# 1 Canadians are always reminding NFL fans our balls are bigger and because it’s cold they are...
The NHL has decided to let the captains pick their all star teams and have formally agreed eeny meeny miny moe will be used for tough roster decisions.
The Dallas Cowboys lost their domain name dallas-cowboys.com when they forgot to renew their registration so somewhere in Russia a 14 year old computer geek has Jerry Jones over the barrel.
Shawne Merriman injured himself during his 1st practice with the Buffalo Bills thus forcing him to leave early. The injury was blamed on Merriman gaining 10 lbs and his body not being used to it. Merriman says if he gains enough he may never have to play for the Bills this year.
For those wondering Saskatchewan and Hamilton will be victorious in the CFL and the Titans and Eagles in the NFL. You’re welcome.
It seems like everyone is afraid of having the BC Lions into the playoffs and with a questionable QB, suspect defence and a rash of injuries I think the other teams are worried Wally Buono is going to suit up for the game
Top 5 signs it’s CFL playoff time
# 5 The Leafs and Oilers are almost mathematically eliminated from their playoff run
# 4 Baseball has been over for an hour
# 3 After passing for 70% of the year offenses now stress running
# 2 Per diems for players is increased by $2.25
# 1 Canadians are always reminding NFL fans our balls are bigger and because it’s cold they are...
The NHL has decided to let the captains pick their all star teams and have formally agreed eeny meeny miny moe will be used for tough roster decisions.
The Dallas Cowboys lost their domain name dallas-cowboys.com when they forgot to renew their registration so somewhere in Russia a 14 year old computer geek has Jerry Jones over the barrel.
Shawne Merriman injured himself during his 1st practice with the Buffalo Bills thus forcing him to leave early. The injury was blamed on Merriman gaining 10 lbs and his body not being used to it. Merriman says if he gains enough he may never have to play for the Bills this year.
For those wondering Saskatchewan and Hamilton will be victorious in the CFL and the Titans and Eagles in the NFL. You’re welcome.
Howling Good Hockey
I feel for Brett Sutter he has it tough. Your Dad is the GM, your uncle is the coach, another uncle is the player development rep, you are being spotted in games at best and your cousin is lighting it up with another team. I think he deserves a trophy every day he doesn’t get into a fight. It’s like being the Principles kid, the daughter of an actress or Gary Bettmans body double. One hint I will give Brett don’t mention your disabled brother when you are being charged with punching out a taxi driver. If you are giving a shout out do it to Patrick Kane of the Chicago Blackhawks.
I love the howl that goes off when the Phoenix Coyotes score a goal at Jobbing.com stadium, especially on a Wednesday when they are playing Columbus. The echo from the howl reminds me of a dog running away in Saskatchewan... it goes on for ever...
In honour of the rehabilitation of Michael Vick a new reality show is coming called Conviction Gridiron. Each week a new NFL player will be released from prison and try to catch on with a team. According to the producers of the show it will be a show of hope and best of all there is an unending supply. Plaxico Burris... come on down!
The Lance Armstrong drug scandal is widening to include France and European countries and soon will rival the Nuremberg Trials for testimony and scope. At some point prosecutors hope to issue a scathing report but not until they check out training facilities in Hawaii, Fiji and Bali during the winter.
George W Bush is reflective of the damage he has caused during his term as President but his biggest regret is turning up for almost all of the Texas Rangers home losses during the playoffs. Collateral damage, worldwide financial chaos and national disgrace are one thing but a World Series title is forever.
It looks like the Washington Redskins need help with their ownership during the final 2 minutes before signing a contract. I think Donovan is worth $78 million but only if he can mentor another ex-con like Vick.
Montreal Canadian goaltender Carey Price was named the 1st star of the week by the NHL. In celebration Canadians fans looted a Gap and later blew out the traditional burning Police car.
Brett Favre says he won’t have an MRI to examine his sore shoulder saying he has looked at it with his X-ray vision and confirmed a mere mortal would never play again but he’s OK.
One of the great horses of all time Zenyatta has been retired to pasture where she will be expected not to pass the boys.
Tiger Woods says he got away from his core values and now likes nothing more than to give his child a bath. This surprised 12 of his 19 former flings who reported he wasn’t that fond of playing rub a dub dub in the tub.
The Canadian armed forces have purchased 500 video games for use by soldiers with titles like "Gears of War", "Call of Duty", "Mortal Kombat" and "Assassins Creed." The only non shooter game is Tiger Woods 2011 which teaches the soldiers how to grip a club and conduct a secret rendezvous while under curfew.
I love the howl that goes off when the Phoenix Coyotes score a goal at Jobbing.com stadium, especially on a Wednesday when they are playing Columbus. The echo from the howl reminds me of a dog running away in Saskatchewan... it goes on for ever...
In honour of the rehabilitation of Michael Vick a new reality show is coming called Conviction Gridiron. Each week a new NFL player will be released from prison and try to catch on with a team. According to the producers of the show it will be a show of hope and best of all there is an unending supply. Plaxico Burris... come on down!
The Lance Armstrong drug scandal is widening to include France and European countries and soon will rival the Nuremberg Trials for testimony and scope. At some point prosecutors hope to issue a scathing report but not until they check out training facilities in Hawaii, Fiji and Bali during the winter.
George W Bush is reflective of the damage he has caused during his term as President but his biggest regret is turning up for almost all of the Texas Rangers home losses during the playoffs. Collateral damage, worldwide financial chaos and national disgrace are one thing but a World Series title is forever.
It looks like the Washington Redskins need help with their ownership during the final 2 minutes before signing a contract. I think Donovan is worth $78 million but only if he can mentor another ex-con like Vick.
Montreal Canadian goaltender Carey Price was named the 1st star of the week by the NHL. In celebration Canadians fans looted a Gap and later blew out the traditional burning Police car.
Brett Favre says he won’t have an MRI to examine his sore shoulder saying he has looked at it with his X-ray vision and confirmed a mere mortal would never play again but he’s OK.
One of the great horses of all time Zenyatta has been retired to pasture where she will be expected not to pass the boys.
Tiger Woods says he got away from his core values and now likes nothing more than to give his child a bath. This surprised 12 of his 19 former flings who reported he wasn’t that fond of playing rub a dub dub in the tub.
The Canadian armed forces have purchased 500 video games for use by soldiers with titles like "Gears of War", "Call of Duty", "Mortal Kombat" and "Assassins Creed." The only non shooter game is Tiger Woods 2011 which teaches the soldiers how to grip a club and conduct a secret rendezvous while under curfew.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Bend it like Curler
David Beckham says he will play out his contract with the LA Galaxy and hopes his stay with the team didn’t totally upset what was important, him getting a chance to play for England in 2019.
It’s a telling sign that the only highlights we remember from the David Beckham stay in LA were hair related
Mark McGuire says he will return to the St. Louis Cardinals despite an unproductive 1st year being a hitting coach. McGuire says he will try giving it a bigger shot next time.
Jim Armstrong of Richmond, B.C. Canada’s representative the Paralympics curling pleaded guilty to selling and dispensing counterfeit Viagra drugs with intent to mislead or defraud. Armstrong says he felt pressured into pleading guilty and when the judge asked what his plea was he had to hurry... hurry... hard!
There is a possibility the rest of his team may have to forfeit the medals they won during the games. Asked for comment the team says they felt stiffed.
Toronto has elected a drunken overweight red necked far right conservative for Mayor while Calgary has elected a Muslim, Harvard educated, gay, person of colour to represent their city. Next thing you know the Leafs will be ahead of the Flames in the standings.
It now makes sense when Leafs GM Brian Burke says his team needs a gut check.
After being sent down by the Edmonton Oilers defenseman Sheldon Souray suffered a hand injury in a fight but being the team player he is Sheldon was quick to show Oilers management what finger was broken
A new book called Discrimination in the NHL says French Canadian players are overlooked for English speaking players. Asked to comment Don Cherry said “Non”.
I agree completely with the premise and would suggest the bias goes further as French Canadian rioters never get the publicity or rewards they deserve.
The Alberta Government is coming under fire for the increased wait times in hospital emergency rooms. A spokesman agrees the times have gone up but say they expect them to decrease once teams visiting the Edmonton Oilers stop picking fights with Steve MacIntyre
A wind warning was issued for Toronto which came the same week Leafs GM Brian Burke says he is exploring trade possibilities... coincidence?
France is rioting over an increase in the retirement age which has confused Quebecers as they didn’t know the retirement age had a hockey team
Canada is lobbying the makers of the new Lord of the Rings prequel saying they could use members of the Montreal Canadians as extra Hobbits
It’s a telling sign that the only highlights we remember from the David Beckham stay in LA were hair related
Mark McGuire says he will return to the St. Louis Cardinals despite an unproductive 1st year being a hitting coach. McGuire says he will try giving it a bigger shot next time.
Jim Armstrong of Richmond, B.C. Canada’s representative the Paralympics curling pleaded guilty to selling and dispensing counterfeit Viagra drugs with intent to mislead or defraud. Armstrong says he felt pressured into pleading guilty and when the judge asked what his plea was he had to hurry... hurry... hard!
There is a possibility the rest of his team may have to forfeit the medals they won during the games. Asked for comment the team says they felt stiffed.
Toronto has elected a drunken overweight red necked far right conservative for Mayor while Calgary has elected a Muslim, Harvard educated, gay, person of colour to represent their city. Next thing you know the Leafs will be ahead of the Flames in the standings.
It now makes sense when Leafs GM Brian Burke says his team needs a gut check.
After being sent down by the Edmonton Oilers defenseman Sheldon Souray suffered a hand injury in a fight but being the team player he is Sheldon was quick to show Oilers management what finger was broken
A new book called Discrimination in the NHL says French Canadian players are overlooked for English speaking players. Asked to comment Don Cherry said “Non”.
I agree completely with the premise and would suggest the bias goes further as French Canadian rioters never get the publicity or rewards they deserve.
The Alberta Government is coming under fire for the increased wait times in hospital emergency rooms. A spokesman agrees the times have gone up but say they expect them to decrease once teams visiting the Edmonton Oilers stop picking fights with Steve MacIntyre
A wind warning was issued for Toronto which came the same week Leafs GM Brian Burke says he is exploring trade possibilities... coincidence?
France is rioting over an increase in the retirement age which has confused Quebecers as they didn’t know the retirement age had a hockey team
Canada is lobbying the makers of the new Lord of the Rings prequel saying they could use members of the Montreal Canadians as extra Hobbits
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Retire or fire
Man U striker Wayne Rooney says he wants out of his lifelong relationship and is looking to play the field, he also wants to play soccer somewhere else.
After getting into a fight with his girlfriends father NY Mets pitcher K-Rod has forfeited $3 million in salary for his discretion. Asked why he hit him K-Rod said he was only trying to brush him off his home plate.
The Tour De France route was unveiled for next year and in a surprising turn will no longer schedule pit stops at Lourdes but will still test for holy water.
France is reeling with riots protesting an increase in the retirement age. In a show of support Montreal Canadians fans agreed to join the protest by throwing bricks at store fronts and setting fire to police cars during non game nights.
The French are rioting over proposed legislation calling for an increase in the retirement age. Protesters are furious with the NFL as well saying they should set an example and force Brett Favre to retire.
Google is being chastised by the Canadian Government for the way its search engine violates privacy. In particular they have found that despite repeated requests when searching for great hockey in the search engine it still list the Maple Leafs, Oilers and Flames.
A prisoner in Canada has won the right to get more meat in his sandwiches. After reviewing the policy the CFL players association says they will challenge the per diem amount given to their players calling it cruel and unusual.
The Canadian Transportation Agency has ruled Air Canada must provide nut free flights thus disrupting the travel plans of Calgary Stampeders Nik Lewis
President Obama will appear on the TV show Mythbusters in an attempt to explain the correlation with hitting a 3 point shot to winning the Presidency
Good to see Barry Bonds at the San Francisco Giants game and even more impressive he is able to take off his hat. It is nice to see someone with his accomplishments retire and not get a big head over them.
The Canadian comedy awards are being questioned when not a single Toronto sports team won for funniest performance by a cast or ensemble. At the very least the Leafs should have been nominated for a lifetime achievement award.
The Mayo Clinic in Boston is hosting a conference on concussions with input from hockey and football teams. Baseball will be represented by former President and Texas Rangers owner George Bush as they feel a head injury would explain a lot.
The United Kingdom is reeling after severe cuts were implemented to try and get their deficit under control. The cuts affect everyone and even Prince Charles will have to let go some of his groomsmen forcing him to walk Camilla by himself.
California held its annual earthquake prevention day which was oddly timed to coincide with the SF Giants shaking the baseball world with their performance.
After getting into a fight with his girlfriends father NY Mets pitcher K-Rod has forfeited $3 million in salary for his discretion. Asked why he hit him K-Rod said he was only trying to brush him off his home plate.
The Tour De France route was unveiled for next year and in a surprising turn will no longer schedule pit stops at Lourdes but will still test for holy water.
France is reeling with riots protesting an increase in the retirement age. In a show of support Montreal Canadians fans agreed to join the protest by throwing bricks at store fronts and setting fire to police cars during non game nights.
The French are rioting over proposed legislation calling for an increase in the retirement age. Protesters are furious with the NFL as well saying they should set an example and force Brett Favre to retire.
Google is being chastised by the Canadian Government for the way its search engine violates privacy. In particular they have found that despite repeated requests when searching for great hockey in the search engine it still list the Maple Leafs, Oilers and Flames.
A prisoner in Canada has won the right to get more meat in his sandwiches. After reviewing the policy the CFL players association says they will challenge the per diem amount given to their players calling it cruel and unusual.
The Canadian Transportation Agency has ruled Air Canada must provide nut free flights thus disrupting the travel plans of Calgary Stampeders Nik Lewis
President Obama will appear on the TV show Mythbusters in an attempt to explain the correlation with hitting a 3 point shot to winning the Presidency
Good to see Barry Bonds at the San Francisco Giants game and even more impressive he is able to take off his hat. It is nice to see someone with his accomplishments retire and not get a big head over them.
The Canadian comedy awards are being questioned when not a single Toronto sports team won for funniest performance by a cast or ensemble. At the very least the Leafs should have been nominated for a lifetime achievement award.
The Mayo Clinic in Boston is hosting a conference on concussions with input from hockey and football teams. Baseball will be represented by former President and Texas Rangers owner George Bush as they feel a head injury would explain a lot.
The United Kingdom is reeling after severe cuts were implemented to try and get their deficit under control. The cuts affect everyone and even Prince Charles will have to let go some of his groomsmen forcing him to walk Camilla by himself.
California held its annual earthquake prevention day which was oddly timed to coincide with the SF Giants shaking the baseball world with their performance.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Infectous fun
I think Marvel comics were a bit late to create a comic based on NHL teams I mean Super Mario writes itself...
Top 5 Marvel super powers for NHL players
# 5 Able to say sorry at super speed
# 4 Turn team owners into paupers in a single court battle
# 3 Fly under American sports fan radar
# 2 Change Union heads at the speed of sound
# 1 OMG… his mullet… it’s alive!
The NFL is abuzz with speculation Minnesota QB Brett Favre sent pictures of his privates to a former NY Jets staffer. Officials are not sure what to call the incident... a quick snap, the offside pass or another day in the NFL. Brett’s wife has become a real stats fan as she awaits word whether the pass will be ruled complete or incomplete
Age is a real difference between Favre and younger QB's while the younger ones use a wristband to call plays all he has on his wrist is a Medic Alert bracelet.
Don Cherry spent most of Coaches Corner getting an award from the Canadian military. Cherry was honoured for his support, promotion and ability to shoot down all his detractors
The Dallas Stars are refusing to comment on the public intoxication charges against Mike Riberio saying it’s private
A Nigerian sprinter has tested positive at the Commonwealth Games the 1st athlete to test positive for something other than dengue fever
Not a good sign when your event is plagued with problems and it’s the real plague
After seeing his party get wiped off the electoral map, a worldwide recession linked to his policies and his team losing 2 games with him in the stands... we can now assume George Bush was not nicknamed W for winning.
Roy Hailiday must think a perfect game is one where he doesn’t wear a Toronto Blue Jays uniform,
Watching the film of San Francisco pitcher Tim Lincecomb leaping up after his team beat the Atlanta Braves was fun. Asked how he felt Tim said he hasn’t been as high since he went to the Black Eyed Peas concert
Not sure what was more embarrassing Henry Burris in a bra or the Stampeders defense caught with their pants down
Top 5 Marvel super powers for NHL players
# 5 Able to say sorry at super speed
# 4 Turn team owners into paupers in a single court battle
# 3 Fly under American sports fan radar
# 2 Change Union heads at the speed of sound
# 1 OMG… his mullet… it’s alive!
The NFL is abuzz with speculation Minnesota QB Brett Favre sent pictures of his privates to a former NY Jets staffer. Officials are not sure what to call the incident... a quick snap, the offside pass or another day in the NFL. Brett’s wife has become a real stats fan as she awaits word whether the pass will be ruled complete or incomplete
Age is a real difference between Favre and younger QB's while the younger ones use a wristband to call plays all he has on his wrist is a Medic Alert bracelet.
Don Cherry spent most of Coaches Corner getting an award from the Canadian military. Cherry was honoured for his support, promotion and ability to shoot down all his detractors
The Dallas Stars are refusing to comment on the public intoxication charges against Mike Riberio saying it’s private
A Nigerian sprinter has tested positive at the Commonwealth Games the 1st athlete to test positive for something other than dengue fever
Not a good sign when your event is plagued with problems and it’s the real plague
After seeing his party get wiped off the electoral map, a worldwide recession linked to his policies and his team losing 2 games with him in the stands... we can now assume George Bush was not nicknamed W for winning.
Roy Hailiday must think a perfect game is one where he doesn’t wear a Toronto Blue Jays uniform,
Watching the film of San Francisco pitcher Tim Lincecomb leaping up after his team beat the Atlanta Braves was fun. Asked how he felt Tim said he hasn’t been as high since he went to the Black Eyed Peas concert
Not sure what was more embarrassing Henry Burris in a bra or the Stampeders defense caught with their pants down
Thursday, October 7, 2010
In the hole!
A hook-up of Tiger Woods plans to release an hour long videotape of her and Tiger with about 35 minutes of sex. This confirms what a lot of people have seen... Tiger spends a lot of time lining up the hole...
The NFL supported women’s cancer with pink gloves, chinstraps and personal breast exams by players after the games
Despite signing a 5 year agreement with Rona Calgary Flames officials are adamant the team is not re-building
A Montreal man was ordered to pay $1 billion after sending out spam on Facebook and worse was unfriended by Chad Ochocinco.
The CFL is asking for $12 million from the Federal Government to host the 100th Grey Cup. The money will be used to promote the event in Toronto. A few million will be also given for Quebec to hold a French language tribute in song, dance and mime.
You would think from the way the Buffalo Bills are playing the CFL would offer to pay to have them play a few more games in Toronto.
Steve Tambalini the GM of the Edmonton Oilers was asked why he sent Sheldon Souray to Rochester in the AHL . He said it was the best fit for the team after SKA Siberia declined their offer.
Sesame Street is tackling issues such as HIV and drug abuse in their new shows for Nigeria. Next up they plan to introduce a new character Mr. Zero who will explain soccer scoring.
A cargo ship in Montreal was found to have a container filled with illegal immigrants. The low wage workers were thought to be in Canada to compete with Canadians for low paying jobs but none of them were able to throw a football.
The NFL supported women’s cancer with pink gloves, chinstraps and personal breast exams by players after the games
Despite signing a 5 year agreement with Rona Calgary Flames officials are adamant the team is not re-building
A Montreal man was ordered to pay $1 billion after sending out spam on Facebook and worse was unfriended by Chad Ochocinco.
The CFL is asking for $12 million from the Federal Government to host the 100th Grey Cup. The money will be used to promote the event in Toronto. A few million will be also given for Quebec to hold a French language tribute in song, dance and mime.
You would think from the way the Buffalo Bills are playing the CFL would offer to pay to have them play a few more games in Toronto.
Steve Tambalini the GM of the Edmonton Oilers was asked why he sent Sheldon Souray to Rochester in the AHL . He said it was the best fit for the team after SKA Siberia declined their offer.
Sesame Street is tackling issues such as HIV and drug abuse in their new shows for Nigeria. Next up they plan to introduce a new character Mr. Zero who will explain soccer scoring.
A cargo ship in Montreal was found to have a container filled with illegal immigrants. The low wage workers were thought to be in Canada to compete with Canadians for low paying jobs but none of them were able to throw a football.
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