How bad is my luck when the team I had going all the way for March Madness was the only scorers from Utah that couldn’t produce in their seed.
I guess the people who get bonuses for failed performances at financial companies learned this in College where they congratulate each other when they miss a foul shot.
Jesse Lumsden has joined the Olympic bobsleigh team which means watch out for someone slipping on the ice and breaking his hip.
The State of New Jersey is considering banning the Brazilian wax leaving the Football team as the only ones able to wax teams on turf.
I wonder how big a shave George Gillette will take when he tries to sell the Habs during a recession.
If all goes well for Gillette he will soon get an offer he can’t refuse.
Celine Dion has been reported to be interested in buying the Habs and will give it to her husband Rene as a gift for his 100th birthday.
Cleveland Browns WR Donte Stallworth could face charges after a fatal traffic accident in Miami. Stallworth says he honked his horn to signal the pedestrian but it appears the victim called an audible.
Isn’t Don Cherry telling a hockey player to consider the feelings of another team one of the signs of the Apocalypse?
The CBC is cutting hundreds of jobs to try and balance their budget. Included in the cuts are children’s programming, radio broadcasts and Don Cherry’s personal collar cleaner.
Canada says they will stop giving criminals 2 for 1 credit for time served awaiting trial as a way to entice NFL players in the offseason.
You have to give Science Minister a break when he says there is evidence against evolution because he cheers for the Leafs an argument for devolution.
I’m not upset with Google showing live shots from public places as a new feature of Google Earth, I’m dismayed watching the Flames on TSN.
Saudi clerics want to impose a ban on women being seen on TV an idea they say came from the IOC’s decision to ban female ski jumpers.
The owner of the Dallas Stars says after the Sean Avery failure they will require free agents to have a psychological evaluation. Those with borderline psychotic anti-social tendencies will be restricted to the “energy line”.
The IOC says they will outlaw international torch relays and instead will replace it with a slow march to the poorhouse for host nations.
Michael Phleps appeared on TV to discuss pictures showing him smoking pot from a bong and says he is sorry for hurting those closest to him especially the guy waiting for the next toke.
A new movie called Knowing is about a man who can predict future disasters by looking at the numbers or as the Maple Leafs call it Draft Day.
Top 5 Signs it’s nearly Spring
# 5 Seasonal Affective Disorder replaced with March Madness
# 4 Leafs, Raptors and Blue Jays start to run out the string
# 3 NFL jailbirds are released back into the wild
# 2 Boys of Summer own up to childish mistakes
# 1 Sports Illustrated swimsuit models begin to remove mohair knickers
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Friday, March 13, 2009
Taking a swing at crime!
Charles Barkley spent 3 days in a Tent City jail for DUI despite the fact it’s his golf swing that is the real crime.
Barbie is celebrating her 50th birthday which by coincidence is the average age most sports team owners’ trade in their first wife to get one.
Producers of the Bachelor TV Show say they are disturbed by the actions of their latest contestant and say the publicity generated has had no bearing on the choice of their next Bachelor Sean Avery.
There is a new station being considered for Quebec TV called the Obituary Channel and with 8 coaches in the last 10 years there will be a special section for the Montreal Canadians.
Farmers in Saskatchewan are worried about the rise in the wild Boar population whereas the rest of the sporting world is fed up with talking heads boring them to death with their take on fighting.
Former Edmonton Oilers owner Peter Pocklington was put into jail on charges he tried to hide assets from bankruptcy proceedings. Among the items Peter Puck was alleged to have hidden were jewellery, cash and the hearts of Wayne Gretzkey fans.
Sesame Street says they will lay-off over 20% of their workforce as a result of the recession. A spokesperson for F-1 Chairman Max Mosley says this will in no way affect the puppets surrounding their boss.
The NHL GM Meetings ending with calls to crack down on “staged” fights thus ending the feud between the Leafs Brian Burke and Kevin Lowe of the Oilers.
NHL players might be looking at a 15% loss in their paycheques as a result of their past collective bargaining agreement. Section 7, paragraph 4 clearly states if an owner spends over $6 million for a 38 year old checking forward the contract should be reduced due to insanity.
The City of Calgary has voted against the living wage proposal. Officials feared it would result in fewer jobs for students, the disabled and CFL rookies.
Top 5 Words to be banned by the Canadian Men’s Curling Association
# 5 Exciting
# 4 Youthful
# 3 Sober
# 2 Fashionable
# 1 Rogaine
Barbie is celebrating her 50th birthday which by coincidence is the average age most sports team owners’ trade in their first wife to get one.
Producers of the Bachelor TV Show say they are disturbed by the actions of their latest contestant and say the publicity generated has had no bearing on the choice of their next Bachelor Sean Avery.
There is a new station being considered for Quebec TV called the Obituary Channel and with 8 coaches in the last 10 years there will be a special section for the Montreal Canadians.
Farmers in Saskatchewan are worried about the rise in the wild Boar population whereas the rest of the sporting world is fed up with talking heads boring them to death with their take on fighting.
Former Edmonton Oilers owner Peter Pocklington was put into jail on charges he tried to hide assets from bankruptcy proceedings. Among the items Peter Puck was alleged to have hidden were jewellery, cash and the hearts of Wayne Gretzkey fans.
Sesame Street says they will lay-off over 20% of their workforce as a result of the recession. A spokesperson for F-1 Chairman Max Mosley says this will in no way affect the puppets surrounding their boss.
The NHL GM Meetings ending with calls to crack down on “staged” fights thus ending the feud between the Leafs Brian Burke and Kevin Lowe of the Oilers.
NHL players might be looking at a 15% loss in their paycheques as a result of their past collective bargaining agreement. Section 7, paragraph 4 clearly states if an owner spends over $6 million for a 38 year old checking forward the contract should be reduced due to insanity.
The City of Calgary has voted against the living wage proposal. Officials feared it would result in fewer jobs for students, the disabled and CFL rookies.
Top 5 Words to be banned by the Canadian Men’s Curling Association
# 5 Exciting
# 4 Youthful
# 3 Sober
# 2 Fashionable
# 1 Rogaine
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Tools of the Trade!
With Team Canada beating Quebec in the Scotties Tournament of Hearts Separatists have now declared the game can no longer be replayed on TV and the brushes used to defeat them are symbols of English oppression.
TSN has traded a second hand conjecture and 2 unsubstantiated rumours to Sportsnet for a wild speculation and an uninformed opinion to be named later...
Taking up a full day of TV on TSN to cover the NHL Trading Deadline cost 10’s of thousands of dollars, having 10 reporters standing by to comment on the trades cost thousands, hairstyles and clothing for the announcers cost hundreds, the entertainment value for seeing almost nothing of consequence happen... priceless!
TSN began the day by showing their expert crew of 4 getting off a Greyhound bus which seemed like overkill until you added in all the baggage they were carrying from past years.
With the poor performance at the deadline are TSN announcers experts or tools of the trade?
Alex Rodriguez has a cyst on his hip and though we are assured it has nothing to do with steroid shots the team is still on pins and needles.
With the news of his hip cyst all A-Rod has to do is continue as a cancer to the team and allow his hurt feelings to become an open wound to complete the poisonous teammate Triple Crown.
Which stimulus package do you trust most the one from President Obama, the one from PM Harper or the one the Calgary Flames picked up at the trade deadline?
Manny Ramirez has accepted a contract that will pay him $25 million for the 1st year and an option for $20 million for the second year. We can all hope the economy improves so Manny can get the money he is worth next year and not cheapen his legacy.
It was shocking to see the Sri Lankan Cricket team get ambushed especially when they had called a time out for a tea break.
The NY Rangers have claimed Sean Avery off waivers thus making him eligible for Vogues Spring/Summer collection.
Top 5 signs your GM was fleeced at the NHL Trade Deadline
# 5 He picked up a Toronto Maple Leaf player
# 4 As a toss in he lost his first born male
# 3 Other GM’s complained to the League because his phone was always busy
# 2 His name rhymes with Tyke Hillberry
# 1 TSN has signed him to be next year’s expert analyst
It looks like David Beckham will remain with AC Milan for the rest of the year so any hope of him joining the Galaxy are far far away...
TSN has traded a second hand conjecture and 2 unsubstantiated rumours to Sportsnet for a wild speculation and an uninformed opinion to be named later...
Taking up a full day of TV on TSN to cover the NHL Trading Deadline cost 10’s of thousands of dollars, having 10 reporters standing by to comment on the trades cost thousands, hairstyles and clothing for the announcers cost hundreds, the entertainment value for seeing almost nothing of consequence happen... priceless!
TSN began the day by showing their expert crew of 4 getting off a Greyhound bus which seemed like overkill until you added in all the baggage they were carrying from past years.
With the poor performance at the deadline are TSN announcers experts or tools of the trade?
Alex Rodriguez has a cyst on his hip and though we are assured it has nothing to do with steroid shots the team is still on pins and needles.
With the news of his hip cyst all A-Rod has to do is continue as a cancer to the team and allow his hurt feelings to become an open wound to complete the poisonous teammate Triple Crown.
Which stimulus package do you trust most the one from President Obama, the one from PM Harper or the one the Calgary Flames picked up at the trade deadline?
Manny Ramirez has accepted a contract that will pay him $25 million for the 1st year and an option for $20 million for the second year. We can all hope the economy improves so Manny can get the money he is worth next year and not cheapen his legacy.
It was shocking to see the Sri Lankan Cricket team get ambushed especially when they had called a time out for a tea break.
The NY Rangers have claimed Sean Avery off waivers thus making him eligible for Vogues Spring/Summer collection.
Top 5 signs your GM was fleeced at the NHL Trade Deadline
# 5 He picked up a Toronto Maple Leaf player
# 4 As a toss in he lost his first born male
# 3 Other GM’s complained to the League because his phone was always busy
# 2 His name rhymes with Tyke Hillberry
# 1 TSN has signed him to be next year’s expert analyst
It looks like David Beckham will remain with AC Milan for the rest of the year so any hope of him joining the Galaxy are far far away...
Thursday, February 26, 2009
My heart is with Scotties
Montreal police are being tight lipped about the types of drugs an alleged mobster friend of Canadians players was selling but they quickly ruled out ones that were performance enhancing.
GM Bob Gainey says players are often given gifts to become trophy friends. Players from the Leafs, Chicago Cubs and any Cleveland team say this is not a problem for them.
The Toronto Maple Leafs will raise ticket prices next year the only upward projection for the team in the next few years.
The Leafs say this is necessary due to the increase in the salaries of coaches and management or as they call it non-producing assets.
Things sure have changed in women’s curling from when I was a kid. They should re-name the championship the Scott’s Tournament of Hots. This is the type women that usually give me the brush off.
Tiger Woods is back playing or as the rest of the PGA calls it the beginning of their Depression.
An ethical debate has erupted over the development of a drug that could cure people with developmental disabilities. This could have a drastic impact on those with learning disabilities, dyslexia and of course panel discussions on TSN.
The Alberta Government is spending $25 million to replace the slogan “Alberta Advantage”. Early favourites are “Alberta gateway to Saskatchewan”, “Alberta our sports teams have a beef” and “Alberta move back when we have money”.
Calgary Oilman Brett Wilson is said to be buying a piece of the Nashville Predators after the due diligence by Commissioner Gary Bettman is complete. The reason for the delay is Bettman isn’t used to a potential owner having ties to the game and actual money.
Scientists say they have found the “happy” gene which predicts how a much enjoyment a person will have in life. This gene is dependent on a number of others including the playoff performance gene, point spread gene and understanding wife gene.
Swiss scientists say gamers who grip their consoles too tight run the risk of developing a skin disorder marked by painful lumps on the palms. NHL players who grip their sticks too tight have a similar condition only they display lumps on their statistics.
GM Bob Gainey says players are often given gifts to become trophy friends. Players from the Leafs, Chicago Cubs and any Cleveland team say this is not a problem for them.
The Toronto Maple Leafs will raise ticket prices next year the only upward projection for the team in the next few years.
The Leafs say this is necessary due to the increase in the salaries of coaches and management or as they call it non-producing assets.
Things sure have changed in women’s curling from when I was a kid. They should re-name the championship the Scott’s Tournament of Hots. This is the type women that usually give me the brush off.
Tiger Woods is back playing or as the rest of the PGA calls it the beginning of their Depression.
An ethical debate has erupted over the development of a drug that could cure people with developmental disabilities. This could have a drastic impact on those with learning disabilities, dyslexia and of course panel discussions on TSN.
The Alberta Government is spending $25 million to replace the slogan “Alberta Advantage”. Early favourites are “Alberta gateway to Saskatchewan”, “Alberta our sports teams have a beef” and “Alberta move back when we have money”.
Calgary Oilman Brett Wilson is said to be buying a piece of the Nashville Predators after the due diligence by Commissioner Gary Bettman is complete. The reason for the delay is Bettman isn’t used to a potential owner having ties to the game and actual money.
Scientists say they have found the “happy” gene which predicts how a much enjoyment a person will have in life. This gene is dependent on a number of others including the playoff performance gene, point spread gene and understanding wife gene.
Swiss scientists say gamers who grip their consoles too tight run the risk of developing a skin disorder marked by painful lumps on the palms. NHL players who grip their sticks too tight have a similar condition only they display lumps on their statistics.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Hitting the High Note
Researchers say they have discovered an alarming increase in the amount of estrogen in the water. This is having an effect on male reproduction, muscle mass and the high pitched voices of sports announcers.
I feel bad for my dog because every time the Flames score the announcer on Sportsnet gets so excited my dog comes running home.
A study has shown children’s gestures early in life can predict success. This is especially true for children of professional basketball players as being able to pick their daddy out of a line-up increases the chance he will pay child support.
The University of Calgary will have access to the biggest telescope ever when it is launched later this year. Officials say the telescope is so powerful if you focus it carefully you can see the chance the Leafs have of winning the Stanley Cup again.
The RCMP will review its use of tazers after a number of incidents have questioned the safety of the device; however Leafs GM Brian Burke says it is still an option when the player has a no trade clause.
Bud Selig chastising A-Rod over his steroid use is like Bernie Madeoff saying his $50 billion fraud is the fault of his secretary for getting breast implants.
An expert panel says fighting should be removed from hockey at all levels. The toughest sell will be with Jr. Teams, the NHL and minor hockey parents in the stands.
Toronto coach Wilson being considered as the coach for next year’s Olympic team and to show he is up to the challenge is already calling out Roberto Luongo for letting in soft goals.
I think we should get Oilers GM Ron Lowe to be a part of the Olympic selection process with Leafs GM Brian Burke. I keep hearing GM’s say a little fighting is good for the game and this would be a great way to prove it.
Representatives from the International Olympic Committee have banned the group “Right to Play” from being a part of the 2010 Games in Vancouver. A spokesperson for the IOC says it conflicts with their “Pay to Play” focus.
I know it’s supportive and all but isn’t having your teammates behind you what started this whole steroids mess?
Top 5 signs your team has the wrong captain
# 5 The only closed door meeting he has had with players is over bong etiquette
# 4 Demands a chair like Captain Kirk for him on the sidelines
# 3 Takes the team to the movie Brokeback Mountain for a bit of bonding
# 2 Walks around with a parrot on his shoulder
# 1 Every year he plans his vacation to coincide with the beginning of playoffs
I feel bad for my dog because every time the Flames score the announcer on Sportsnet gets so excited my dog comes running home.
A study has shown children’s gestures early in life can predict success. This is especially true for children of professional basketball players as being able to pick their daddy out of a line-up increases the chance he will pay child support.
The University of Calgary will have access to the biggest telescope ever when it is launched later this year. Officials say the telescope is so powerful if you focus it carefully you can see the chance the Leafs have of winning the Stanley Cup again.
The RCMP will review its use of tazers after a number of incidents have questioned the safety of the device; however Leafs GM Brian Burke says it is still an option when the player has a no trade clause.
Bud Selig chastising A-Rod over his steroid use is like Bernie Madeoff saying his $50 billion fraud is the fault of his secretary for getting breast implants.
An expert panel says fighting should be removed from hockey at all levels. The toughest sell will be with Jr. Teams, the NHL and minor hockey parents in the stands.
Toronto coach Wilson being considered as the coach for next year’s Olympic team and to show he is up to the challenge is already calling out Roberto Luongo for letting in soft goals.
I think we should get Oilers GM Ron Lowe to be a part of the Olympic selection process with Leafs GM Brian Burke. I keep hearing GM’s say a little fighting is good for the game and this would be a great way to prove it.
Representatives from the International Olympic Committee have banned the group “Right to Play” from being a part of the 2010 Games in Vancouver. A spokesperson for the IOC says it conflicts with their “Pay to Play” focus.
I know it’s supportive and all but isn’t having your teammates behind you what started this whole steroids mess?
Top 5 signs your team has the wrong captain
# 5 The only closed door meeting he has had with players is over bong etiquette
# 4 Demands a chair like Captain Kirk for him on the sidelines
# 3 Takes the team to the movie Brokeback Mountain for a bit of bonding
# 2 Walks around with a parrot on his shoulder
# 1 Every year he plans his vacation to coincide with the beginning of playoffs
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Wrap it up!
Quebec Separatists are in an uproar over plans to re-enact the Battle of the Plains of Abraham saying “what kind of country celebrates their defeats?” A spokesman for the Toronto Maple Leafs says they still plan to honour players from the ‘70’s, 80’s, 90’s and forward.
I guess this means no more showing clips from the Montreal Expos.
The US Government is taking toxic assets off balance sheets of financial lenders creating a so called “Bad Bank”. The NHL tried something similar in the 90’s where financially irresponsible salaries were concerned... it was called the NY Rangers.
A British Cabinet Minister is under attack for saying taking the drug ecstasy is no more harmful than horse riding. In Canada equestrian rider Eric Lamaze commented saying it is way more difficult when you do both.
A-Rod says he has grown-up and can now reveal he has taken steroids. Asked if this means he will return some of the money he made under illegal means A-Rod said he has grown up not gotten stupid.
Top 5 signs your teammates were taking steroids
# 5 The 3rd baseman asks you to spot him while he bench presses his car out of the ditch
# 4 You had a .350 average with 45 homers and still batted 7th
# 3 Team hires clubhouse boys just to blow up donuts
# 2 Your end of the year picture was in pinstripes and you don’t play with the Yankees
# 1 Every year a player from your team is named MVP
The US Olympic Committee released a report on the underachieving results for the track and field team and according to people who have seen it say it was less than inspiring.
Sean Avery cleared waivers and now the rest of the NHL players are wondering why he is getting seconds.
A new show scheduled for next year is called Trauma where an arrogant, conceited blow hard abuses his staff while he tries to create a successful team. If I was the Maple Leafs I would sue for infringement of intellectual property.
The proliferation of poker as a sport on TV makes financial sense for the networks but I’m going to have to say check.
With Guy Lafleur and Patrick Roy being dragged into legal proceeding because of their sons maybe the best defense for a retired NHL’er is not a good offense it’s a condom.
The former girlfriend of baseball player Roberto Alomar is suing him for having unprotected sex. This is one of the times a player was charged for not corking his bat.
With the economy being so bad people are being forced to make entertainment decisions such as in Calgary where we have the choice between tickets to Cheech and Chongs tour or listening to Michael Phelps.
Being single must be tough for girlfriends of pro athletes. For example at Valentines Day do you give the bad news about the AIDS or pregnancy tests in a card or a gift wrapped lawsuit?
If girlfriends are now going to be allowed to sue athletes whenever they say “trust me” this could be the ultimate stimulus package for the economy.
Who would have thought that by not opening the condom package you could stimulate both yourself and the economy?
Quebec aerospace company Bombardier has revealed the new design of the Olympic torch. In keeping with the theme of the Winter Games the torch is shaped like a snow drift and as a nod to Quebec is powered by burning taxpayers’ money.
One of the difficult aspects of the torch was finding a tasteful way to add “Stephen Harper Sucks” in the snowflakes.
A new Stonehenge that is a calendar 5000 years old was discovered in Alberta. This is proof there was intelligent life in Alberta before the Sutter clan.
The striped throwback uniforms the Montreal Canadians and Toronto Maple Leafs played in required the NHL to get permission from the Cincinnati Bengals as they are the offseason jail attire of the team.
The toughest catch at the Superbowl was the poor roadie who nearly dropped Bruce Springsteen's high and outside toss of his guitar.
Now we know why Michael Phelps was eating 8000 calories a day, the munchies.
I guess it’s more accurate to call Phelps a rolling model as compared to a role model.
Roger Goodell says the Toronto NFL experiment was a smash success except for the ticket prices which at 10x the regular price of other teams needs to be increased due to the poor exchange rate.
The world’s longest snake was found in Columbia. As a way to measure it you could lay 10 player agents lengthwise and it still would be the largest snake.
Top 5 signs your trainer injected you with steroids
# 5 He can draw your rear end from memory
# 4 He buys hats that have Velcro for expansion
# 3 His nickname is “Needles”
# 2 His previous job was a trainer for horses
# 1 The only piece of ass he has gotten lately is yours
I guess this means no more showing clips from the Montreal Expos.
The US Government is taking toxic assets off balance sheets of financial lenders creating a so called “Bad Bank”. The NHL tried something similar in the 90’s where financially irresponsible salaries were concerned... it was called the NY Rangers.
A British Cabinet Minister is under attack for saying taking the drug ecstasy is no more harmful than horse riding. In Canada equestrian rider Eric Lamaze commented saying it is way more difficult when you do both.
A-Rod says he has grown-up and can now reveal he has taken steroids. Asked if this means he will return some of the money he made under illegal means A-Rod said he has grown up not gotten stupid.
Top 5 signs your teammates were taking steroids
# 5 The 3rd baseman asks you to spot him while he bench presses his car out of the ditch
# 4 You had a .350 average with 45 homers and still batted 7th
# 3 Team hires clubhouse boys just to blow up donuts
# 2 Your end of the year picture was in pinstripes and you don’t play with the Yankees
# 1 Every year a player from your team is named MVP
The US Olympic Committee released a report on the underachieving results for the track and field team and according to people who have seen it say it was less than inspiring.
Sean Avery cleared waivers and now the rest of the NHL players are wondering why he is getting seconds.
A new show scheduled for next year is called Trauma where an arrogant, conceited blow hard abuses his staff while he tries to create a successful team. If I was the Maple Leafs I would sue for infringement of intellectual property.
The proliferation of poker as a sport on TV makes financial sense for the networks but I’m going to have to say check.
With Guy Lafleur and Patrick Roy being dragged into legal proceeding because of their sons maybe the best defense for a retired NHL’er is not a good offense it’s a condom.
The former girlfriend of baseball player Roberto Alomar is suing him for having unprotected sex. This is one of the times a player was charged for not corking his bat.
With the economy being so bad people are being forced to make entertainment decisions such as in Calgary where we have the choice between tickets to Cheech and Chongs tour or listening to Michael Phelps.
Being single must be tough for girlfriends of pro athletes. For example at Valentines Day do you give the bad news about the AIDS or pregnancy tests in a card or a gift wrapped lawsuit?
If girlfriends are now going to be allowed to sue athletes whenever they say “trust me” this could be the ultimate stimulus package for the economy.
Who would have thought that by not opening the condom package you could stimulate both yourself and the economy?
Quebec aerospace company Bombardier has revealed the new design of the Olympic torch. In keeping with the theme of the Winter Games the torch is shaped like a snow drift and as a nod to Quebec is powered by burning taxpayers’ money.
One of the difficult aspects of the torch was finding a tasteful way to add “Stephen Harper Sucks” in the snowflakes.
A new Stonehenge that is a calendar 5000 years old was discovered in Alberta. This is proof there was intelligent life in Alberta before the Sutter clan.
The striped throwback uniforms the Montreal Canadians and Toronto Maple Leafs played in required the NHL to get permission from the Cincinnati Bengals as they are the offseason jail attire of the team.
The toughest catch at the Superbowl was the poor roadie who nearly dropped Bruce Springsteen's high and outside toss of his guitar.
Now we know why Michael Phelps was eating 8000 calories a day, the munchies.
I guess it’s more accurate to call Phelps a rolling model as compared to a role model.
Roger Goodell says the Toronto NFL experiment was a smash success except for the ticket prices which at 10x the regular price of other teams needs to be increased due to the poor exchange rate.
The world’s longest snake was found in Columbia. As a way to measure it you could lay 10 player agents lengthwise and it still would be the largest snake.
Top 5 signs your trainer injected you with steroids
# 5 He can draw your rear end from memory
# 4 He buys hats that have Velcro for expansion
# 3 His nickname is “Needles”
# 2 His previous job was a trainer for horses
# 1 The only piece of ass he has gotten lately is yours
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Jesus What a Pasting
TSN talking head Mike Millbury is suddenly a part of the Canadian Government’s Infrastructure Program as nearly everything he says is shovel ready.
The Saskatchewan Roughriders hired Gary Etcheverry as their defensive coach and in a nod to the past the Toronto Argonauts are trying to find a way to re-animate Sam Etcheverry for their quarterback spot.
The coach of a Christian school girl’s basketball team in Dallas was fired when his team beat an opponent 100-0 prompting the question “Would Jesus run up the score on a team”. A spokesman for the NBA has responded saying any coach that can get that kind of result obviously walks on water.
The NY Yankees signed pitcher Andy Pettitte to a one year contract worth $ 6 million with the possibility to earn another $ 6 million in bonuses. A spokesman for the Yankees says the bonuses will be tied to performance goals such as wins, ERA and scowls.
The Gowanus Canal in NY City has been found to be filled with Gomorra prompting officials to institute a ban on further cruises by the Minnesota Vikings.
Watching Gary Bettman take shots at further Canadian ownership in the NHL is confused me because I thought this was the Chinese year of the Ox not the Rat.
Is the person hired by the NHL to count fans at the Nashville and Phoenix games the same one who predicted a budget surplus for Canada this year?
NHL players are being asked to give 25% of their salaries into a stabilization fund. The fund is primarily medical and used to purchase the anti-psychotic drugs to stabilize the delusions from Head Office.
The NHL is polling Canadians to get their opinion on fighting and so far the respondents are divided between banning fights, making fighting easier and trying to save up for a ticket to a game.
Dallas Cowboy receiver Terrel Owen has his own Reality TV Show that will explore his attempt to change his life. The title has yet to be announced but discussions are ongoing to get the rights to The Biggest Loser.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button has an interesting NHL connection when the character ages backwards and at 50 can finally crack the Detroit Red Wings lineup.
When I heard there was a movie about a grown man becoming a baby I thought it was about the NBA draft.
Top 5 signs you are at a bad Superbowl party
# 5 Lingerie Bowl consists of the host and his wife trying to spice up their love life at halftime
# 4 The serve no name beans, burritos and toilet paper.
# 3 Wife constantly flicking the channel to see who’s on 60 Minutes
# 2 Just before the game start the hosts bookie and associates come to collect on his past bets
# 1 You’re stuck on the couch between Jack Layton and Stephen Harper
The Saskatchewan Roughriders hired Gary Etcheverry as their defensive coach and in a nod to the past the Toronto Argonauts are trying to find a way to re-animate Sam Etcheverry for their quarterback spot.
The coach of a Christian school girl’s basketball team in Dallas was fired when his team beat an opponent 100-0 prompting the question “Would Jesus run up the score on a team”. A spokesman for the NBA has responded saying any coach that can get that kind of result obviously walks on water.
The NY Yankees signed pitcher Andy Pettitte to a one year contract worth $ 6 million with the possibility to earn another $ 6 million in bonuses. A spokesman for the Yankees says the bonuses will be tied to performance goals such as wins, ERA and scowls.
The Gowanus Canal in NY City has been found to be filled with Gomorra prompting officials to institute a ban on further cruises by the Minnesota Vikings.
Watching Gary Bettman take shots at further Canadian ownership in the NHL is confused me because I thought this was the Chinese year of the Ox not the Rat.
Is the person hired by the NHL to count fans at the Nashville and Phoenix games the same one who predicted a budget surplus for Canada this year?
NHL players are being asked to give 25% of their salaries into a stabilization fund. The fund is primarily medical and used to purchase the anti-psychotic drugs to stabilize the delusions from Head Office.
The NHL is polling Canadians to get their opinion on fighting and so far the respondents are divided between banning fights, making fighting easier and trying to save up for a ticket to a game.
Dallas Cowboy receiver Terrel Owen has his own Reality TV Show that will explore his attempt to change his life. The title has yet to be announced but discussions are ongoing to get the rights to The Biggest Loser.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button has an interesting NHL connection when the character ages backwards and at 50 can finally crack the Detroit Red Wings lineup.
When I heard there was a movie about a grown man becoming a baby I thought it was about the NBA draft.
Top 5 signs you are at a bad Superbowl party
# 5 Lingerie Bowl consists of the host and his wife trying to spice up their love life at halftime
# 4 The serve no name beans, burritos and toilet paper.
# 3 Wife constantly flicking the channel to see who’s on 60 Minutes
# 2 Just before the game start the hosts bookie and associates come to collect on his past bets
# 1 You’re stuck on the couch between Jack Layton and Stephen Harper
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