Hooker Care...

Top 5 signs your star athlete has reformed
# 5 When carrying unregistered guns into a Club will always wear a belt
# 4 Promises to dedicate his season in memory of the people he ran over
# 3 Is determined to only have unprotected sex with women who really love him and accept his condition
# 2 Will try to make it rain for drought stricken farmers
# 1 Has given up all milkshakes for Lent

Republicans were asked where they found so many people willing to boo, heckle and insult officials at Town Hall meetings on Health Care now that the Knicks were in the off season.

When Pres. Obama heard Louisiana coach Rick Pitino paid for his hookers’ health care he said 1 down 49,999,999 left to insure

Hockey parents were livid after paying for their sons to attend a camp to help boost their sons’ careers and the only scouts there were from the Leafs, Lighting and Coyotes

The IOC says they want to capture the youth so they are considering adding sports such as golf, lawn bowling and whist for the 2016 Games

Louisiana Coach Rick Pitino had to pay $3000 for his mistresses’ health care once he found out that her being a blackmailing hooker was a pre existing condition

With Theo Fleury asking for reinstatement finally Gary Bettman has someone he can see eye to eye with

The Cleveland Browns are suing the Obama Administration for infringing on their copy write Cash for Clunkers

After a poor pre season outing maybe lining up in the shotgun brought back too many painful memories for Vince Young

If the TB Lightning can't sort out their ownership the NHL will go with one of their approved candidates Bernie Madeoff or Peter Puck

Minnesota Wild owner Craig Leopold was late in writing a letter making the case that Jim Balsillie would be a bad NHL owner as he was busy writing a character reference to help Boots Del Biaggio qualify for conjugical visits

Patrick Kane says he thought the Taxi Driver wanted 20% of his salary like the NHL clawback not 20 cents...

Exciting news... Theo Flurey is coming out of retirement to play in the NHL & Rosie O''Donnell is dieting to become part of the Lingerie Football League

Wii is planning a curling version of its game it hopes will capture the nostalgic fans who still want to play while smoking & drinking

The Cash 4 Clunkers program: combining the honesty of used car salesmen with the efficiency of the federal Gov"t