Sign of the Times

Seeing the number of fights in the pre-season the NHL is now considering having cut men in the corners. Love to see the new Broad Street Bullies in Philadelphia just want to know if they can find someone to score a goal.

Women’s World Cup Soccer matches were re-scheduled on Wednesday due to both a typhoon and blizzard. The typhoon was weather related and the blizzard was from letters of protest about the cancellations.

NY Knicks coach Isiah Thomas is being sued for $10 million by a female employee who claims sexual harassment. In court hearing Thomas said it is sometimes acceptable for a black male to call a black female a bitch unless it is Michael Vick. Thomas said the woman was just playing the sexual harassment card because she refused to play strip poker with him.

Donovan McNabb says black quarterbacks have to do a little extra because they didn’t want us to play that position. Asked to comment former Philadelphia quarterback Jeff Garcia said winning isn’t everything.

McNabb’s comments are causing controversy and he is now in as big a soup as his mom.

The record setting ball hit by Barry Bonds has been bought by a fashion designer who will have people vote to either give it to the Hall of Fame, brand it with an asterisk or shoot it into space. Other ideas considered were making it into an adjustable hat or a line of baby clothing.

The best new fantasy pool for the NHL has to be guessing what game Calgary Flames coach Mike Keenan will lose it.

The NHL is looking to revise the schedule to see each team play a home an away game against each other and the balance to be determined by a Powerball lottery.

Terrel Owens was fined $7500 for pretending to be a filmmaker as part of his touchdown celebration saying the filming rights belonged to NFL films.

Religious groups have begun video tapping confessions and playing them at churches. Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots says he is deeply religious and if he was to see a sign would quickly tape it.

Harvard University will play its first night game in 104 years and hope their football team can finally see the light of day. The lights were installed as part of the new modernization push with the slogan “Harvard comes out of the dark ages”.

In an effort to beat the rush the media and fans in New York are already blaming Alex Rodriguez for the upcoming World Series loss. Alex is batting just over .100 in his last 10 games or nearly in post season form.

The San Francisco Giants say they will not re-sign Barry Bonds next year saying they don’t have enough room under the cap for a head his size. Barry says he will play at least another year because the Barry thinks he can still play and is head and shoulders above most players and neck and neck with the rest.

Barry is still concerned the guy who bought his record setting baseball and have fans vote on what to do with it, will tarnish the image of the game.

With the strength of the Canadian dollar it won’t be long before major league contracts will be based on Looney decisions that have nothing to do with the regular lunacy.

Wayne Gretzky has given odds of 2:1 that Rick Tocchet will be back behind the Phoenix Coyotes bench. His wife Paula quickly covered the bet.

Calgary Stampeders were in Hamilton trying to clear the air as to who is the best team in the CFL instead they came out in a fog. The Stamps lost the game, lost their starting quarterback and the offensive line coach Kris Sweet had a heart attack. Sources say Sweets condition became worse when someone told him to breathe deeply.

Jesse Lumsden suffered an apparent concussion during the game and later said when he re-entered the game didn’t so much run for daylight as run towards the white light.

The Mattel toy company is looking to re-call some of their NFL products including the Michael Vick, Tank Johnson and Pacman Jones figurines. The toys are safe but executives with the company keep chocking when they see how much they lost on them.

Toronto Maple Leafs Kyle Wellwood will need more surgery and hopes to be available for some meaningless games towards seasons end. Forward Mark Bell is feeling good about his time with the Maple Leafs and despite his suspension is just trying to drink it all in.

These Eyes Adore Me

OJ Simpson said he had to go get his memorabilia back because he wasn’t going to let the guy get away with making a killing.

OJ Simpson is a suspect in a confrontation at a Vegas casino where he said he was trying to get memorabilia allegedly stolen from him. Simpson says he is appalled officials would let a person get away with a crime and will not rest until the real thieves are caught. OJ says he’s tired of being targeted and now the gloves are off.

MLB is trying to come up with a test for HGH that doesn’t violate the collective bargaining agreement. Sources say they are considering something radical like increases in hat size.

LeBron James had Lasik eye surgery to correct a problem that first surfaced when he watched himself singing and dancing in the ESPY”s and thought he looked good.