Girl Power

From Calgary Mount Royal University newspaper editor Zoey Duncan “Went to photograph a game between the Trojans and Cougars, some jokes write themselves.”

The Royal Astronomical Society of Canada has identified Jasper Alberta as the darkest place in Canada. The second darkest was found to be Northlands Coliseum in Edmonton at playoff time.

With $9 billion in revenues at stake the NFL Players Association has de-certified causing NFL fans to question if the owners and players should be certified.

NFL head Roger Goddell has reduced his salary to $1 in a show of support for the owners. He says he will resume his $10 million a year salary once his bonuses run out.

A German study says men who stare at women’s breasts on a continuous basis have less chance of heart attack or stroke. A spokesman for the Cleveland Cavaliers says this is another reason to go to games because if you watch these boobs you could live forever. My GF says if I keep staring it is guaranteed I will get a stroke, along with a cuff and a smack.

Some talking head in Toronto says men only watch women play sports if the women are attractive. Women point out Toronto sports talking heads have to be balding, dumpy and desperately trying to save their jobs. The talking head says he isn’t worried about competition as no one with ½ a brain is going to follow him down this road.

Why is it that only really ugly guys on sports radio talk about how much they ogle women in sports? Must be a combination of the baldness gene combining with the lumpy gene and creating a guy who thinks women love to have him leering at them. A spokesman for the Heart and Stroke Foundation says watching this guy on TV could prevent strokes. Mind you with his face and attitude I guess he isn’t worried about getting stroked.

Baltimore Orioles Luke Scott made controversial remarks saying he believes President Obama was not born in the United States. Scott also says Baltimore will challenge for a World Series title so his grasp on reality might not be tight. Scott is called “the mountain man” because he loves guns, calls himself a passionate Christian soldier and is dumb as dirt.

Top 5 signs their will not be an NFL season
# 5 NFL players have put half their entourages on the DL
# 4 Face paint manufacturers have sacked their staff
# 3 Groupies now turning their attention to Bob McGowan
# 2 Pigs seen taunting NFL officials
And the #1 sign their will not be an NFL season…
Tom Brady is wearing a pony tail

A Middle East magazine is out with tips for women on hygiene, skin care and marrying a suicide bomber. What is the #1 tip for women marrying a suicide bomber? Make sure he doesn’t have a short fuse.

Unrest in the Middle East, a Tsunami and nuclear meltdown in Japan and from -30 to +10 degree temperatures in a week, now I get why they call it March Madness.