Having a riot in Montreal

Media and protesters are flocking to Arizona due to their seemingly racist profiling of illegal alien workers which has given the economy a huge boost… this has resulted in a new state motto… Arizona… come for the human rights violations… stay for the golf…

In order to show the law was more than just profiling those of Hispanic heritage… Glendale sheriffs raided the 7th game of the Coyotes/Red Wings playoff… and were shocked to find there were Americans citizens with tickets…

Tiger Woods had a bad day on the course missing the cut. Later it was reported he had over 120 affairs surprisingly par for the course

The fabric roof at BC Place Stadium is being replaced with a new retractable roof. The old roof will be recycled with most of the fabric going towards new shirt collars for Don Cherry

Ben Roethlisberger is undergoing personality evaluation as part of his suspension from the NFL. The test will include interviews, ink blot tests and later a cocktail party with Ben giving autographs to pretty interns

The Grand Ole Opry House in Nashville Tennessee was hit by a flood this week. This is the first flood of any interest in Nashville since the Predators took the lead against the Blackhawks

P.E.I. Senator Catherine Callbeck wants to take the Canadian penny our of circulations saying they are only found in jars at homes and on CFL contracts

Taking a high dose of Vitamin D has been found to be effective increasing the chances of fertility in some females. I guess this explains why Manny Ramirez likes playing in the California sun

A recent study shows repeated laughter has the same effect on the body as exercise. Researchers found the results while they studied patients involved in laughter inducing events such as reading a funny book, listening to a comedy CD or watching a Toronto Maple Leafs power play

The suit that OJ Simpson wore when he was acquitted of the murder of 2 people is now in a museum. The item is a relic of history and a harsh reminder of the consequences of naming your kid after an ingredient in a Harvey Wallbanger

The Police officer who tazered a teenager for running on the field during a Philadelphia Phillies game, was within the proper police protocols and will not be punished. According to 70 year old Phillies owner Al Reach any whippersnapper cutting across my lawn should be shot

Top 5 signs the Montreal Canadians have won a playoff game
# 5 Molotov Cocktails are the biggest sellers at the bar
# 4 Bi-lingual property destruction
# 3 Smoke signals announce the score
# 2 None of the guys in Canadians sweaters fighting have tied down their jerseys
# 1 A 1 alarm fire means a loss… a 2 alarm fire is a great victory!