The Russian paper Pravda is accusing Team Canada of doping saying “Were they on drugs the day they beat Russia?” A spokesman for Team Canada was not surprised by the allegations as they have so much experience doping athletes they can’t help but be suspicious.
A report for the Saskatchewan Roughriders say a domed stadium will cost $380 million but they are waiting for someone to add up the numbers again just to be safe.
Top 5 signs Russia is unhappy with their Olympic results
# 5 Athletes get a 4 month layover in Siberia on the way to Moscow
# 4 Biathletes new training schedule involves coaches with guns
# 3 Water bottles now filled with water instead of vodka
# 2 New ski jump ramp ends at a cliff
# 1 Sport officials say they need better drugs to catch up with competition
John Terry says he wasn’t upset Wayne Bridge didn’t shake his hand as his girlfriend has shaken her booty for him earlier
NASA says they have discovered ice on the dark side of the moon. The findings will be verified by Russia when they send the national hockey team to train for the next Olympics
Devoting a full day of your network to the NHL trade deadline...tens of thousands of dollars, make-up, hair dye and teeth whitener for the experts..... thousands of dollars... coffee and donuts hundreds of dollars... watching pundits spend hours debating if a 7th defenseman is worth a 4th or 5th round pick... priceless
After the PM of Russia demanded they resign the head of the Olympic Committee complied saying he wanted to spend more time with his family once they are released
Tiger Woods was released from sex therapy and quickly denied reports he was at a swingers club saying he was swinging a club
In attempt to burnish his image again Tiger has hired Olympic performer Catherine O’hara to perform his next round of apologies
The bigger Olympic story... Sidney Crosby's stick or William Shatner’s shtick... discuss
In light of the patriotism shown during the Olympics the Government wants to change the lyrics to O Canada but first have to find a hockey line that rhymes with kicked USA’s ass...
I want to be an Olympic athlete so I’m off to McDonalds to start my training
The Government is looking at ways to reduce the cost of texting when they discovered the cost of sending the message “We won hockey Gold!!!” really was priceless
Chad Ochocinco is defending his latest video of him running through a park naked saying it’s part of his application for Dangling with the Stars
The video was just a miscommunication says Chad. When he talked to the producers of Dancing with the Stars they wanted him to bring out his quirky side saying... show us you’re nuts
A poll showed 40% of BC residents say they will never experience a high like the Olympics with the rest saying it will take until their crops dry
Friday, March 5, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Final Column
Korean skater Yuna Kim is a pop star in her country which is only fitting as their flag looks like the Pepsi logo
Competitors are calling Kevin Martin the Michael Jordan of curling except he doesn’t rock the rim he rolls it up
Having all the women figure skaters do a move that requires them to grab their leg, hold it over their head and glide around the ice surface seems inappropriate. I guess the IOC is concerned about gender identity and have incorporated the Chick Check as a way of verifying.
The Canadian women hockey players are being ripped after drinking and smoking a cigar following their gold medal win. Officials with the IOC were livid as it showed disrespect, set a bad example and used up party supplies reserved for them.
The scene is being hailed by the Taliban as an example of why women should not be allowed to play sports or be out in public and by adult film companies as the beginning of a really good movie.
The IOC is especially upset because after all the effort they went to prevent the little ladies from hurting themselves in ski jumping they go and do something that could have broke a nail.
The IOC might have to remove the women from Olympic hockey because there isn’t enough competition. Asked to explain why Nordic skiing, which has been consistently dominated by Countries such as Norway, Sweden and Finland, should not also be removed an official was indignant saying the men clearly had better genetics and when they win they share the cigars and liquor.
If women are not allowed to play then I just know Gary Bettman will refuse on the grounds of equal rights.
Top 5 signs your Winter Olympic sport may be cancelled
# 5 Uniforms have less than 50% sequins
# 4 No judges to influence the outcome
# 3 Relies on Gatorade instead of gunpowder
# 2 North Americans love it
# 1 You don’t need an interpreter to understand the rules
Blind Canadian Olympic skier Brian McKeever was denied a chance to become the 1st athlete to compete in both the Olympics and Paralympics when he was not included on the men’s 50 km relay race. Asked to comment McKeever says he never saw it coming
It took until overtime but finally Canada... it’s Miller Time!
Not sure where there was more elbowing at the Canada-US game or Jack Layton trying to get his face on TV at Gretzkys Bar in Toronto...
The PM has such massive powers so how come he couldn’t prorogue Nickleback from the closing ceremony?
Competitors are calling Kevin Martin the Michael Jordan of curling except he doesn’t rock the rim he rolls it up
Having all the women figure skaters do a move that requires them to grab their leg, hold it over their head and glide around the ice surface seems inappropriate. I guess the IOC is concerned about gender identity and have incorporated the Chick Check as a way of verifying.
The Canadian women hockey players are being ripped after drinking and smoking a cigar following their gold medal win. Officials with the IOC were livid as it showed disrespect, set a bad example and used up party supplies reserved for them.
The scene is being hailed by the Taliban as an example of why women should not be allowed to play sports or be out in public and by adult film companies as the beginning of a really good movie.
The IOC is especially upset because after all the effort they went to prevent the little ladies from hurting themselves in ski jumping they go and do something that could have broke a nail.
The IOC might have to remove the women from Olympic hockey because there isn’t enough competition. Asked to explain why Nordic skiing, which has been consistently dominated by Countries such as Norway, Sweden and Finland, should not also be removed an official was indignant saying the men clearly had better genetics and when they win they share the cigars and liquor.
If women are not allowed to play then I just know Gary Bettman will refuse on the grounds of equal rights.
Top 5 signs your Winter Olympic sport may be cancelled
# 5 Uniforms have less than 50% sequins
# 4 No judges to influence the outcome
# 3 Relies on Gatorade instead of gunpowder
# 2 North Americans love it
# 1 You don’t need an interpreter to understand the rules
Blind Canadian Olympic skier Brian McKeever was denied a chance to become the 1st athlete to compete in both the Olympics and Paralympics when he was not included on the men’s 50 km relay race. Asked to comment McKeever says he never saw it coming
It took until overtime but finally Canada... it’s Miller Time!
Not sure where there was more elbowing at the Canada-US game or Jack Layton trying to get his face on TV at Gretzkys Bar in Toronto...
The PM has such massive powers so how come he couldn’t prorogue Nickleback from the closing ceremony?
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