Ancient Championship History

American born NBA player Matt Bonner in an attempt to play for Canada at the World Basketball Championships had his application for a quick citizenship denied. Officals say if he wants to have his request speeded up he has to do what everyone else does… come into Canada by paying a human trafficker and claim to be a refugee…

Chicago Cubs manager Lou Pinella retired to spend more time with this mom reversing the general trend of players to extend their careers to get away from their baby mommas

Washington Redskins DE Albert Haynesworth says he has a muscle condition known as rhabdomyolysis and it was aggravated when he spent the summer hauling cheques to the bank

Anaheim Ducks forward Joffrey Lupul says he will miss the upcoming training camp with a blood infection to which Albert said... oh yeah... I have a blood infection

Top 5 signs your baseball announcer is getting on in years
# 5 Vince Scully once dated his grandmother
# 4 Needs a 3rd, 5th and 7th inning stretch
# 3 Eats his evening pre-game meal at noon
# 2 Uses binoculars to read his script
# 1 Constantly refers to the game as Rounders

Construction crews in Edmonton recently uncovered a fossilized artifact that could either be a dinosaur bone or a remnant of a championship trophy

A 12 year old player from Taipei’s little league baseball team weighs 205 lbs. A team spokesman says he not only is their best hitter he also is able to buy the beer for the coaches after the game

Seriously a 205 lb 12 year old? What are they feeding the kids in Taipei? Other slow kids?

Oregon State offensive lineman Tyler Patrick Thomas was tasered when he charged police while naked on a woman’s lawn. Police said he took off at them from a 3 point stance and later clarified it to a 4 point stance

The Chicago Bulls unveiled a statue of former great Scottie Pippen. Asked when they plan to have a similar honour for a player, Toronto Raptors officials said when someone stops acting like a statue during games.

Miners in Chilie are expected to be trapped underground for the next 4 months the longest time anyone has been left in the dark since Thomas Kaberle learned he might be traded

The Edmonton Eskimos are expecting a near capacity crowd for the weekend game with the Saskatchewan Roughriders and in a show of hometown support Rider fans say they will cheer for the occasional Eskimo success

The Canadian Medical Association says MMA fighting is linked to severe brain injury and disability. Asked to comment an MME spokesman said...uhhh... ummmm... what was the question?

NFL owners are considering an 18 game season to add more meaningful games to which fans of the Detroit Lions asked... what is a meaningful game?

It took me the longest time to realize The Expendables wasn’t about NHL free agents expecting to haul in over $2 million as a cap hit

The Alberta Government is considering introducing a sales tax saying the people of Alberta are now used to their NHL teams taxing their patience

Tiger Woods shot a 65 and is leading tournament just days after his divorced was finalized. He credits his Buddhist beliefs saying Nirodha or the end of suffering finally caught up with him

Alberta Culture Minister Lindsay Blackett says his much-publicized remark that Canadian television is "crap" referred not to current shows on air, but to watching the Eskimos


Kurt Browning watched his house nearly burn to the ground after trying to dry out his car seats with a leaf blower the most expensive blow job since President Clinton