Olympic retreat

How bad is my luck when the team I had going all the way for March Madness was the only scorers from Utah that couldn’t produce in their seed.

I guess the people who get bonuses for failed performances at financial companies learned this in College where they congratulate each other when they miss a foul shot.

Jesse Lumsden has joined the Olympic bobsleigh team which means watch out for someone slipping on the ice and breaking his hip.

The State of New Jersey is considering banning the Brazilian wax leaving the Football team as the only ones able to wax teams on turf.

I wonder how big a shave George Gillette will take when he tries to sell the Habs during a recession.

If all goes well for Gillette he will soon get an offer he can’t refuse.

Celine Dion has been reported to be interested in buying the Habs and will give it to her husband Rene as a gift for his 100th birthday.

Cleveland Browns WR Donte Stallworth could face charges after a fatal traffic accident in Miami. Stallworth says he honked his horn to signal the pedestrian but it appears the victim called an audible.

Isn’t Don Cherry telling a hockey player to consider the feelings of another team one of the signs of the Apocalypse?

The CBC is cutting hundreds of jobs to try and balance their budget. Included in the cuts are children’s programming, radio broadcasts and Don Cherry’s personal collar cleaner.

Canada says they will stop giving criminals 2 for 1 credit for time served awaiting trial as a way to entice NFL players in the offseason.

You have to give Science Minister a break when he says there is evidence against evolution because he cheers for the Leafs an argument for devolution.

I’m not upset with Google showing live shots from public places as a new feature of Google Earth, I’m dismayed watching the Flames on TSN.

Saudi clerics want to impose a ban on women being seen on TV an idea they say came from the IOC’s decision to ban female ski jumpers.

The owner of the Dallas Stars says after the Sean Avery failure they will require free agents to have a psychological evaluation. Those with borderline psychotic anti-social tendencies will be restricted to the “energy line”.

The IOC says they will outlaw international torch relays and instead will replace it with a slow march to the poorhouse for host nations.

Michael Phleps appeared on TV to discuss pictures showing him smoking pot from a bong and says he is sorry for hurting those closest to him especially the guy waiting for the next toke.

A new movie called Knowing is about a man who can predict future disasters by looking at the numbers or as the Maple Leafs call it Draft Day.

Top 5 Signs it’s nearly Spring
# 5 Seasonal Affective Disorder replaced with March Madness
# 4 Leafs, Raptors and Blue Jays start to run out the string
# 3 NFL jailbirds are released back into the wild
# 2 Boys of Summer own up to childish mistakes
# 1 Sports Illustrated swimsuit models begin to remove mohair knickers