The Toronto Maple Leafs are trying to sign underage junior John Tavares in an attempt to circumvent the NHL draft rules. Skeptics think this is an attempt by GM John Ferguson Jr. to deflect his current problems but Ferguson denied this and is quoted as saying “Look at the shiny diamond”. Toronto is proposing a return to the days when each team had territorial rights to their players although they expect to see some reluctance from Phoenix and Florida.
The National Lacrosse League has agreed with the players union on a new 7 year deal. Terms of the contract were not immediately available although a source close to the negotiations said 2 for 1 coupons were in the mix. With salaries averaging $19,000 owners felt giving them more would jeopardize their eligibility for food stamps.
NBA commissioner David Stern is altering the rules governing officials being allowed to place bets. Stern says the will allow referees to bet on games that don’t matter like Lotteries, NCAA Tournaments and any tilt involving Seattle or Memphis.
NHL players are asking to be allowed to wear uniforms without the new waterproof treatment. Players say the water is pooling and this is one area where they don’t want their cup to runneth over.
Michigan State football coach Mark Dantonio says he will not suspend 3 players accused of robbery noting they lead the team in steals and picks.
San Diego Chargers are most likely to play their home game on Sunday despite the fact over 10,000 people are camping out in the stadium due to brush fires. Officials say they will have to re-vamp their tailgate party to include baby formula as well as beer. Asked if the soot filled air will affect the players a team spokesman says they will just pretend they are playing in the Meadowlands.
Miami Dolphins tackle Zack Thomas will miss Sundays game in London England because of whiplash from a car accident. Team officials said the accident could have been worse but at the last minute Zack swerved into the right lane.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Games too Dawn Long
I let my internet security lapse last week and with all the virus’s out there I felt like an NBA team on a road rip.
Cassie Campbell is about to become the first woman hockey player to be inducted into the Canadian Sports Hall of Fame. Asked about the accomplishment CBC commentator Don Cherry said “Yeah but she wasn’t the first person elected who played like a girl".
Paul Kelly was officially introduced as the new head of the NHLPA and in keeping with a defense attorney who has prosecuted the mafia called the current collective agreement an offer they should have refused.
Not to say the Baseball playoff games are too long but I watched a hockey game between the first and second innings.
Top 3 signs the baseball playoff game is too long…
3 Name changed to 7 AM stretch
2 After 5th inning vendors start selling breakfast burrito
1 Yogi Berra is yelling “It’s over already”
I put all of the free agents John Ferguson Jr. signed into my fantasy draft and the computer froze up.
Cassie Campbell is about to become the first woman hockey player to be inducted into the Canadian Sports Hall of Fame. Asked about the accomplishment CBC commentator Don Cherry said “Yeah but she wasn’t the first person elected who played like a girl".
Paul Kelly was officially introduced as the new head of the NHLPA and in keeping with a defense attorney who has prosecuted the mafia called the current collective agreement an offer they should have refused.
Not to say the Baseball playoff games are too long but I watched a hockey game between the first and second innings.
Top 3 signs the baseball playoff game is too long…
3 Name changed to 7 AM stretch
2 After 5th inning vendors start selling breakfast burrito
1 Yogi Berra is yelling “It’s over already”
I put all of the free agents John Ferguson Jr. signed into my fantasy draft and the computer froze up.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Hair Apparaent
Another Grey Cup ring belonging to former Stampeder Alondra Johnson has surfaced in addition to the one currently on E-Bay. Experts say there is a vast market in fake sports memorabilia mostly being purchased by men who want to impress women with championship rings they claim are their own. The ring on E-Bay has a current bid of $1700 by J. Ferguson Jr. in Toronto.
Former Olympic downhill skier Cary Mullen resigned after being elected for town council in Chestermere Alberta. Mullen said his busy traveling schedule would not allow him to attend Council meetings and was led to believe he would not have to attend like a Senator. After learning of his victory Liberal Leader Stephan Doin begged him to run in the upcoming election saying there was no chance he would win but could be a great help to a Party going downhill at breakneck speed.
Toronto was in a state of euphoria when it was discovered an American sporting team would play a home game in their city. The excitement quickly turned to disappointment when it was revealed the team was the Buffalo Bills and not the Buffalo Sabers. The big question on the mind of Toronto sport fans has to be if the City is big enough to support another loser?
Members of the Buffalo Bills came to Toronto to do some PR, donate $1500 to a sports charity and sell their Toyota Land Cruisers for a tidy sum.
The Ottawa Senators are said to have an inside track on signing free agent Peter Forsberg with the only sticking point being Forsberg’s demand he be paid in Canadian dollars.
NASCAR driver Carl Edwards is upset his teammates don’t congratulate him for his victories, acknowledge his help when they win a race and worst of all didn’t even notice his new hairstyle.
With the NFL holding a regular season game in London England does this qualify as a Bye Bye Week?
Former Olympic downhill skier Cary Mullen resigned after being elected for town council in Chestermere Alberta. Mullen said his busy traveling schedule would not allow him to attend Council meetings and was led to believe he would not have to attend like a Senator. After learning of his victory Liberal Leader Stephan Doin begged him to run in the upcoming election saying there was no chance he would win but could be a great help to a Party going downhill at breakneck speed.
Toronto was in a state of euphoria when it was discovered an American sporting team would play a home game in their city. The excitement quickly turned to disappointment when it was revealed the team was the Buffalo Bills and not the Buffalo Sabers. The big question on the mind of Toronto sport fans has to be if the City is big enough to support another loser?
Members of the Buffalo Bills came to Toronto to do some PR, donate $1500 to a sports charity and sell their Toyota Land Cruisers for a tidy sum.
The Ottawa Senators are said to have an inside track on signing free agent Peter Forsberg with the only sticking point being Forsberg’s demand he be paid in Canadian dollars.
NASCAR driver Carl Edwards is upset his teammates don’t congratulate him for his victories, acknowledge his help when they win a race and worst of all didn’t even notice his new hairstyle.
With the NFL holding a regular season game in London England does this qualify as a Bye Bye Week?
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Bill TO for the Loss
After taking a hit from Calgary Flames defenseman Robyn Regher, Jeremy Roenick of the San Jose Sharks seemed shaken. Officials blew down the play fearing the worst, that Jeremy had swallowed his tongue.
Edmonton Oilers forward Raffi Torres was fined $2500 for knocking out Calgary Flames David Moss with a head hit. Coincidentally this is the same amount the UFC pays their combatants for the same knockout.
Ryan Smyth returned home to play against his former team the Edmonton Oilers and this time the tears he was crying were for the players that didn’t get out.
The run of 21 wins in 22 games by the Colorado Rockies has a mathematical probability of 1 in 210,000 or the same odds as finding a mathematician that has seen a baseball game.
Former Calgary Stampeder Alondra Johnson has placed his Grey Cup ring up for sale on E-Bay. The ring has an opening bid of $1700 or two tickets to a Flames game.
AC Milan goalie Dida has had his 2 game suspension for faking an injury reduced to one game after game film showed his act was not nearly as good as previously thought. A spokesperson for Dida was incensed saying the reduction will affect his chances of getting the red carpet treatment at Cannes.
The Buffalo Bills are said to be considering having an annual game in Toronto to take advantage of their Canadian fan base, lay the ground work for a potential expansion and give their fans one less home loss.
Toronto Maple Leafs forward Darcy Tucker is out with a strained knee ligament which gives GM John Ferguson the signal to start blaming the season on injuries.
The Florida Panthers are looking for a new tough guy now that they have lost the services of defenseman Noah Welsh. The Panthers are checking their minor league team, looking at possible trades and have hired Mantracker.
A recent poll found 1 in 5 sports fans do something in the hopes of creating luck for their team. The most common ways to help their team win were wearing a lucky shirt, following a routine and betting on them to cover the spread.
In an effort to reduce the length of the NFL draft teams will now have 10 minutes between picks in round one, 7 minutes between picks in round two and will draw out of a hat for round three. Sources are calling the new guidelines the Brady Quinn rule and to avoid further embarrassment players expected to go high in the draft will be limited to three blonds on their arm.
Edmonton Oilers forward Raffi Torres was fined $2500 for knocking out Calgary Flames David Moss with a head hit. Coincidentally this is the same amount the UFC pays their combatants for the same knockout.
Ryan Smyth returned home to play against his former team the Edmonton Oilers and this time the tears he was crying were for the players that didn’t get out.
The run of 21 wins in 22 games by the Colorado Rockies has a mathematical probability of 1 in 210,000 or the same odds as finding a mathematician that has seen a baseball game.
Former Calgary Stampeder Alondra Johnson has placed his Grey Cup ring up for sale on E-Bay. The ring has an opening bid of $1700 or two tickets to a Flames game.
AC Milan goalie Dida has had his 2 game suspension for faking an injury reduced to one game after game film showed his act was not nearly as good as previously thought. A spokesperson for Dida was incensed saying the reduction will affect his chances of getting the red carpet treatment at Cannes.
The Buffalo Bills are said to be considering having an annual game in Toronto to take advantage of their Canadian fan base, lay the ground work for a potential expansion and give their fans one less home loss.
Toronto Maple Leafs forward Darcy Tucker is out with a strained knee ligament which gives GM John Ferguson the signal to start blaming the season on injuries.
The Florida Panthers are looking for a new tough guy now that they have lost the services of defenseman Noah Welsh. The Panthers are checking their minor league team, looking at possible trades and have hired Mantracker.
A recent poll found 1 in 5 sports fans do something in the hopes of creating luck for their team. The most common ways to help their team win were wearing a lucky shirt, following a routine and betting on them to cover the spread.
In an effort to reduce the length of the NFL draft teams will now have 10 minutes between picks in round one, 7 minutes between picks in round two and will draw out of a hat for round three. Sources are calling the new guidelines the Brady Quinn rule and to avoid further embarrassment players expected to go high in the draft will be limited to three blonds on their arm.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Armageddon a Home Game
In an attempt to throw Boston Red Sox pitcher Josh Beckett off his game the Cleveland Indians had his ex girlfriend Danielle Peck sing the opening anthem and during the 7th inning stretch. Peck stuck to tradition singing God Bless America for the anthem but her 7th inning choice of “Wild Thing” raised eyebrows.
Olympic figure skating champion Scott Hamilton threw out the opening pitch for the 5th game of the ALCS and it was no where near the catcher. Hamilton said in retrospect he should have left the skates at home. Not sure what was more embarrassing his throwing ability or his sequin outfit.
You would think with the number of concussions to NHL players the league would do something about the football shoulder pads being worn by players. A spokesperson for the NHL said they are trying but since the new tighter sweaters were introduced players feared they would look too fat.
Ottawa rookie Nick Foligno jumped for joy over his first NHL goal and later his dad nearly jumped through the TV as he was taken off the ice as a result of a head hit.
South Africa defeated England in the Rugby World Cup finals thus putting an end to the employment of Rugby writers in North America for 4 years. South Africa beat the defending champions 15-6 in the confused scoring system when they converted a try, kicked a penalty and scratched 3 bells in the opening lottery.
A band called The Weakerthans released a song about former NHL goalie Gump Worsley called Elegy for Gump Worsley. Not to be outdone Toronto’s Barenaked ladies have penned a ballad called Eulogy for Thomas Kaberle.
First it was thunder and lightening, then it was hail and gale force wins and now with the Saskatchewan Roughriders clinching a home playoff berth can the end of the world be far off?
Mike Weir won his first tournament in over three years and despite it not being one of the more notable events Weir was happy. Asked what hole gave him the most trouble Weir said it was the one with the windmill.
Cleveland Indians Paul Byrd has admitted using Human Growth Hormones but said he only used it while in the care of a Dr. Upon hearing this Denver Bronco’s running back Travis Henry says he was only using marijuana on the advice of Dr. Feelgood.
Hank Steinbrenner son of Yankee owner George lashed out at outgoing manager Joe Torres for saying the offer to stay in pinstripes was an insult. Showing his dad’s former feistiness Hank is trying to re-sign Joe just so he can fire him.
Not sure if Liberal Leader Stephane Dion gets it but he says the new heated hockey skate is just another sign of global warming. In an effort to try and turn around his flagging numbers Dion is re-naming his dog from Kyoto to Reebok.
Instead of the NHL being so concerned with head shots why not just require the players to wear shoulder pads that have to be smaller than those worn by Mel Gibson in Road Warrior movies. The ‘80’s are over enough with the wide shoulder pads.
The NFL is playing up the almost religious happenings from this week. First Buffalo Bills Kevin Everett was able to walk then Kansas City Chief Priest Holms has come back after severe injuries and now Arizona Cardinal quarterback Matt Leinhart says he is dating a virgin named Mary.
England lost their Euro 2008 match to Russia and now has to pray to Jesus for help from Israel.
Olympic figure skating champion Scott Hamilton threw out the opening pitch for the 5th game of the ALCS and it was no where near the catcher. Hamilton said in retrospect he should have left the skates at home. Not sure what was more embarrassing his throwing ability or his sequin outfit.
You would think with the number of concussions to NHL players the league would do something about the football shoulder pads being worn by players. A spokesperson for the NHL said they are trying but since the new tighter sweaters were introduced players feared they would look too fat.
Ottawa rookie Nick Foligno jumped for joy over his first NHL goal and later his dad nearly jumped through the TV as he was taken off the ice as a result of a head hit.
South Africa defeated England in the Rugby World Cup finals thus putting an end to the employment of Rugby writers in North America for 4 years. South Africa beat the defending champions 15-6 in the confused scoring system when they converted a try, kicked a penalty and scratched 3 bells in the opening lottery.
A band called The Weakerthans released a song about former NHL goalie Gump Worsley called Elegy for Gump Worsley. Not to be outdone Toronto’s Barenaked ladies have penned a ballad called Eulogy for Thomas Kaberle.
First it was thunder and lightening, then it was hail and gale force wins and now with the Saskatchewan Roughriders clinching a home playoff berth can the end of the world be far off?
Mike Weir won his first tournament in over three years and despite it not being one of the more notable events Weir was happy. Asked what hole gave him the most trouble Weir said it was the one with the windmill.
Cleveland Indians Paul Byrd has admitted using Human Growth Hormones but said he only used it while in the care of a Dr. Upon hearing this Denver Bronco’s running back Travis Henry says he was only using marijuana on the advice of Dr. Feelgood.
Hank Steinbrenner son of Yankee owner George lashed out at outgoing manager Joe Torres for saying the offer to stay in pinstripes was an insult. Showing his dad’s former feistiness Hank is trying to re-sign Joe just so he can fire him.
Not sure if Liberal Leader Stephane Dion gets it but he says the new heated hockey skate is just another sign of global warming. In an effort to try and turn around his flagging numbers Dion is re-naming his dog from Kyoto to Reebok.
Instead of the NHL being so concerned with head shots why not just require the players to wear shoulder pads that have to be smaller than those worn by Mel Gibson in Road Warrior movies. The ‘80’s are over enough with the wide shoulder pads.
The NFL is playing up the almost religious happenings from this week. First Buffalo Bills Kevin Everett was able to walk then Kansas City Chief Priest Holms has come back after severe injuries and now Arizona Cardinal quarterback Matt Leinhart says he is dating a virgin named Mary.
England lost their Euro 2008 match to Russia and now has to pray to Jesus for help from Israel.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
