Da Da Da Da DADA...LeCharge!

A Quebec man has demanded the Federal Government force the Bell Centre in Montreal to play more French Music. I agree because nothing makes me more angry and emotional than listening to Celine Dion.

It will be tough on the fighters to get into it with "Voulez-vous vous chez avec moi" playing in the background.

Once of the difficulties is there are no French words for the song “Charge!”

Asked what he would do now that he no longer is Coach of the Toronto Maple Leafs Paul Maurice said he would spend some quality time away from the children.

Switzerland wins 1^st place in its World Hockey Group...SWEET!

Do the Swiss have an advantage taking one-timers? When they shoot wide on a breakaway is it a Swiss Miss? Asked how they were performing the coach said “Like clockwork”

The Chinese have reached the top of Mt. Everest with a special Olympic Torch that burns leaded gas.

Was Kobe Bryant voted the NBA’s Most Valuable Player, Most Volatile Player or Most Vain Player?

The Conservative Government is taunting Liberal Leader Stephane Dion and someone should tell him to stop turtleing.

Six harness horses in New Jersey have tested positive for steroids and like Roger Clemens are also accused of being sent out to stud.

Roger Clemens has been refused a tryout with the US Olympic baseball team but a spokesman for Clemens says he was more interested in playing with the girls.

Torch the Uniforms!

Not to say the new Canadian Olympic uniforms are ugly but they revealed the costumes on What Not to Wear.

After looking at the new uniforms I have a better idea for the Olympic Torch.

The clothing was mostly made with Chinese textiles because Canadian companies couldn’t meet the necessary requirement of lead.

You know the uniforms are ugly when Don Cherry called them “Classic”.

Former Olympic sprinter Tim Montgomery was arrested for trafficking in heroin a cut and dried case of drug running.

I thought Speed Racer was a cartoon but it turned out to be a career choice for Tim Montgomery.

Montgomery was denied bail with the judge saying he was concerned the sprinter might try and make a break away from the pack.

For the second year in a row the Montreal Alouettes have selected a player in the College draft that is injured and not likely to play professionally. Team officials say in hindsight they should have noticed something was wrong when the game films of the player were sent from a Hospital.

Officials with Indian cricket teams have banned scantily clad cheerleaders saying it is offensive, disrespectful and forces fans to stay awake during 36 hour games.

Dennis Rodman has denied reports he assaulted his girlfriend saying at best it was a hard foul.

Dennis was upset with his girlfriend when he found out she was secretly trying on his wedding dress.

How seriously can you take Roger Clemens when he denies using performance enhancing drugs in the same press release where he denies having affairs with 3 other women?

The website used to sell Olympic tickets in China has crashed with officials blaming the problems on protesters, subversives and poor upgrades to its Windows ’95 system.

Packman Jones has put his house up for sale and here I thought he lived at a strip mall.

Dallas Stars goaltender Marty Turco faced 61 shots in an overtime victory or as the Italian goalie called it, a slow first period.

The NCAA has released an academic report on athletics saying they hope some of the players in the NCAA will eventually be able to read it.

Canada Post says after giving a stamp to singer Bryan Adams the next one will feature the Toronto Maple Leafs with the added benefit it will be easy to lick.

The IOC says it will closely monitor protests by athletes at the Beijing Olympics and says they will do everything to make this the best amateur games money can buy.

Kobe Bryant surprised his wife with a diamond after scoring the NBA MVP and she immediately asked what MVP’s real name was.

The Toronto Maple Leafs fired Coach Paul Maurice giving Don Cherry something to talk about on Coaches Corner.

MLB says it will hold a draft of the Negro League players who were never allowed to play and then not pay them to not play later in the year.