The Chief Import

Phoenix Suns guard Steve Nash broke his nose and then rearranged it while on the court. Steve is glad it happened saying it would make him look less like an immigrant from Canada

A report out of Hamilton says the CFL Tiger Cats and Toronto Argonauts are considering playing in the same stadium. In order to make the deal more financially viable they are considering playing some of their home games in Phoenix and Saskatoon as well

A report out of NY says the NHL Islanders have canceled a training camp trip to China. Team owner Charles Wang is quoted as saying he isn’t sure what went Wong

Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has been replaced from a youth football camp by his coach Mike Tomlinson. A spokesman for the youth is disappointed saying they wanted to learn how to hook up with more than just receivers

With NY being awarded the game for the 1st time in years a Super Bowl will be played outside in winter conditions causing Brett Favre to re-consider playing in the game

A report says the Kansas City Chiefs had a new play in their arsenal called the import where they flew in pretty girls to hook up with before games. Team spokesman were quick to deny the reports saying the players only picked up locals except for the married players who used professionals

Residents of Toronto were shocked when an airplane fell out of the air and landed on the roof of a building. Jays fans were relieved it wasn’t their team crashing back to earth

Pac Man turned 30 this week the most powerful pill popping game next to baseball, football and cycling

A 13 year old boy from California has become the youngest ever to climb the highest peak in the world. He joins other record holders including class mates who got high and peaked in world record time

A study released has shown 10 solid ways to tell if the person you are talking to is lying. The number rises to 11 if you count people who say they thought the Philadelphia Flyers would be in the Stanley Cup final

The US Government is investigating professional cyclists who were paid by the US Postal Team to determine if they bought performance drugs with government money. The investigation is centred on Lance Armstrong and his suspicious success with an underweight package

Diego Maradonna says he will streak naked in Buenos Aires if Argentina wins the World Cup thus ending the argument if he is using performance enhancing drugs

Calgarian Jamie Kureluk shot a record 25 on the back nine of a Canadian Tour golf event. Jamie credits watching the Flames all year as they showed him how to consistently play under par

After a successful Cup run the Montreal Canadians are planning to raise ticket prices. Asked to comment a spokesman for the Toronto Maple Leafs was shocked saying they didn’t know you could get more money for winning

Actor Jack Nicholson will wave the green flag to start the Indianapolis 500 which should help Danica Patrick who will be looking to pass a few good men

President Obama has picked the LA Lakers over Boston Celtics to win the NBA championship but mind you he also has BP over the Gulf oil spill

If the Top Kill plugging attempt to stop the Gulf oil spill fails BP say they will pump down the documents on the Phoenix Coyotes bankruptcy trial and see if any of Gary Bettman’s mud will stick

MLB umpire Joe West has hired a publicist to get additional employment. So far he has had offers from Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers and The Biggest Loser

The NHL combine is set for this weekend 6 months before most of the prairie prospects will get on their everyday combine

Calgary has been awarded a Winter Classic by the NHL and to take advantage of the coldest time of the year plans are to have it in June

Peter Pocklington pleaded guilty to perjury in a California court and faces deportation to Canada. His lawyer says he will apply for refugee status on the basis that if he was to return to Alberta fans with long memories might still attempt to have a lynching party

A group of protestors has blocked plans by Donald Trump to build a golf resort in Scotland. Asked to comment a spokesman for the Donald said it was possible he would take a haircut on the deal