Daft Draft

The NBA has hit a winner with their “NBA Cares” promotions showing players in a garden because if there is anything they know about it’s planting seeds

A Muslim cleric in Iran says scantily dressed women are causing earthquakes. I guess the outfits and actions of cheerleaders at the NBA playoffs are behind the eruption of the Icelandic volcano.

Paralympics curler Jim Armstrong was arrested at the Canada/US border and charged with trafficking in Viagra. Officials say they became suspicious when he didn’t have to hurry to be hard

Goldman Sacs is charged with creating an investment that they knew would fail and then promoting it to buyers as having a chance to be the best buy ever. They called the investment a “Maple Leaf” in honour of how the Toronto Maple Leafs put together their team each year and sell premium tickets knowing the product has no chance of winning

I now have to apologize to every guy who was unable to throw a ball well when I said they threw like a girl. I should have said they threw like a Danny boy.

Top 5 signs your NFL draft picks are a bust
# 5 The Oakland Raiders are laughing at your picks
# 4 Terrel Owens calls your WR pick a drama queen
# 3 Your # 1 pick threatens to go to the CFL
# 2 None of the player you selected has a rap sheet
# 1 When asked who he would compare himself to your new franchise QB named Jesus

A new nickname for Montreal Canadians goalie Jaroslav Halak after seeing more rubber than a racetrack... Shellak

The GM of the Miami Dolphins asked a college student before the draft if his mom was a prostitute during interviews. This was not a violation of policy but maybe he shouldn’t have followed up by asking how much for an around the world.

Research from a University in England has found the brain is hardwired to expect certain conditions. Taxi drivers anticipate traffic, sanitation engineers expect unpleasant odours and Leaf fans exopect to win the Stanley Cup.

The FIFA World Cup Trophy made a visit to Toronto ahead of this summer’s event. Organizers said they chose Toronto as the only Canadian stop as they have teams that scores less than most soccer games

Arizona passed a law requiring police to check immigration papers of people who are potential illegal immigrants. Police will now stop people of Hispanic heritage and Caucasians wearing hockey jerseys.

A snow storm blew into Calgary on Wednesday the biggest snow job since Darryl Sutter had his year end press conference

A report from Health Canada says Canadian kids are not getting enough exercise and are becoming obese at an earlier age. The report says this will limit children’s employment options to MLB umpire, NFL coach or sportswriter

A giant worm has been found in Idaho shocking scientists who thought it would be in an NFL or NBA city