Got Milk?

With Terrell Owens leaving the Dallas Cowboys who would have thought it would be another blow hard bringing down their practice?

You know your Stanley Cup playoff mustache is a bit lean when you go out and everyone asks “Got Milk”?

US lawmakers spent Friday demanding College Football adopt a playoff system saying this will clear up any problems currently affecting the United States.

As a nod to the swine flu epidemic congress admitted this was the second worse pigskin related tragedy of the year after their hearings on BCS playoffs.

Gary Bettman says he can’t see the Phoenix Coyotes moving anytime soon saying he has to wait until the housing market bounces back so he can recover his condo investment.

Jim Balsille says he will pay $225 million for the bankrupt Coyotes or roughly the cost of anti depressants needed for Bettman.

Scientists have created an F-1 car that runs on chocolate and is capable of speeds up to 235 kph. The only problem is the car gains weight every time it consumes a tank.

Hollywood has been quick to react to the chocolate powered car with a new show on converting your car called “Pimple my ride”.

Not sure who has the bigger claws Gary Bettman or Wolverine.

This must be a weekend for time warps with Star Trek re-writing their history or the NHL reinventing their franchise rules.

On Tuesday the NHL denies they are in control of the Phoenix Coyotes yet on Thursday they say the club can’t be put into receivership because they are in control. Listening to Bettman you wonder how lawyers ever got their bad name.

Bettman says he was only an hour away from an agreement that would have paid all the Coyotes debt and kept the team in Phoenix. He later went on to say he was especially sorry for the children as he planned to unveil a live Unicorn at the press conference.

Top 5 signs you may not get an NHL franchise
# 5 You’re Canadian
# 4 You increased the NHL’s Blackberry contract price
# 3 You have millions of fans who would actually pay to watch a game
# 2 There is ice in winter where you live
# 1 You texted the Commissioner a shot of your butt

The European Union has banned the sale of seal products saying they are dispatched cruelly which is also the reason LA Clipper games aren’t televised.