Alberts Fat Wallet

After a game interrupted by lightning and hail it was only fitting Danny Machochia of the Edmonton Eskimos was let go. At one point ownership said it would take a force of nature to remove him and if you ask any wife of a professional athlete... hail stones on the ground in Edmonton in July is a sign of hell freezing over...

Andy Fantuz tore apart the Hamilton Tigercats defense after the release of his Fantuz Flakes cereal... so much so that they are going to introduce another cereal this time using shreddies

NY Jets cornerback Darrell Revis is sitting out training camp saying he wants to be the highest paid DB in the NFL. It appears the only thing he isn’t able to cover is his greed

I guess if you ask Heido Turkulu or Chris Bosh Toronto has become a world no class city

Denver Broncos rookie QB Tim Tiebow has the best selling jersey in the NFL. Asked to comment on why his jersey is so popular Tim said “God knows”

BP has started to plug the leak in the Gulf coast and thanks are being sent to Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert for providing the advanced mudslinging technology used to plug the hole

The United Arab Emirates is threatening to ban the use of RIM technologies Blackberries due to possible security problems. NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman was quick to point out he was the 1st one to ban RIM owner Jim Balsillie and it was for something more important than national security... a personal vendetta

Former NHL tough guy Geroges Laraque has been named deputy leader of the Green party. Laraque beat out other potential candidates when he informed them he would actually beat them for the job

Laraque is a vegetarian and says he has helped other NHL’ers become vegetarians... mostly by removing the ability to chew meat

Chinese authorities are being accused by a Conservative MP of trying to bribe officials with money and sexual favours causing USC to open a new recruiting campus in Beijing

The Washington Redskins have updated the odds out of shape DE Albert Hainsworth practicing from slim to fat chance

What a coincidence the X-Games coincided with the beginning of NFL training camp or as the groupies call it the XXX Games

Protesters in Calgary lowered a banner from the Calgary Tower with an anti-oil message. It was originally thought to be the work of Greenpeace but turned out to be disgruntled Flames fans who misspelled Oli

The #1 movie this year is Inception about a group of individuals who enter the dreams of people and steal their ideas. This is not to be confused with In Edmonton where every day is a living nightmare and the sporting teams steal your hope.

Lebron James took out a full page ad in an Akron Ohio newspaper as a gesture to his hometown fans. The ad would have only been a ½ page but it would not have allowed the gesture to include his complete middle finger

A Canadian group is rumoured to be interested in purchasing the Liverpool Football Club. Speculation is centred on Maple Leafs Sports as they have the money and experience running a team that can’t score and has underachieved for decades

A challenge to the new 0 tolerance drinking law for young drivers in Ontario has been filed in court. The brief accuses the Government of discrimination based on age, a breach of the Charter of Rights and more important is going to adversely affect the chances of the Raptors ever getting a big name NBA star

A survey of adults in North America has found a vast majority are pessimistic about their future. The survey found those in Cleveland and Toronto had the least optimistic view while Miami was surprisingly upbeat

The President of Iran Mahmoud Ahmadinejad escaped an assignation attack when a grenade thrown at him missed by a mere 100 yards thus answering the question “ Whatever happened to Ryan Leaf?”

The Calgary Flames unveiled a new uniform for the Heritage Classic and the day after the Calgary Hitmen and Regina Pats will play the 1st outdoor CHL game. Despite the new sweaters fans attending the games will probably wear what they always do to McMahon Stadium... something whit a Roughriders logo on it

A new survey shows Canadians swear more than most Countries and blame it on frustration, anger and watching Toronto pro sports teams

Conservative Cabinet minister Stockwell Day says the Government will build prisons for criminals for crimes that go unreported. Not to be outdone the City of Toronto says they will build a museum for championship trophies and awards collected by their pro sports teams