My thanks to Cam Hutchinson for supporting this creation. Cheers DJW

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Wally Ball

I wasn’t until the Edmonton Eskimo punter Derek Schieveone hit an 18 yarder in the last minute of a half I got the shrives at least one word play. It’s like being a golfer named Whiff, a tennis player named Fault or a Leaf labelled can’t miss.

It seems like everyone is afraid of having the BC Lions into the playoffs and with a questionable QB, suspect defence and a rash of injuries I think the other teams are worried Wally Buono is going to suit up for the game

Top 5 signs it’s CFL playoff time
# 5 The Leafs and Oilers are almost mathematically eliminated from their playoff run
# 4 Baseball has been over for an hour
# 3 After passing for 70% of the year offenses now stress running
# 2 Per diems for players is increased by $2.25
# 1 Canadians are always reminding NFL fans our balls are bigger and because it’s cold they are...

The NHL has decided to let the captains pick their all star teams and have formally agreed eeny meeny miny moe will be used for tough roster decisions.

The Dallas Cowboys lost their domain name dallas-cowboys.com when they forgot to renew their registration so somewhere in Russia a 14 year old computer geek has Jerry Jones over the barrel.

Shawne Merriman injured himself during his 1st practice with the Buffalo Bills thus forcing him to leave early. The injury was blamed on Merriman gaining 10 lbs and his body not being used to it. Merriman says if he gains enough he may never have to play for the Bills this year.

For those wondering Saskatchewan and Hamilton will be victorious in the CFL and the Titans and Eagles in the NFL. You’re welcome.

Howling Good Hockey

I feel for Brett Sutter he has it tough. Your Dad is the GM, your uncle is the coach, another uncle is the player development rep, you are being spotted in games at best and your cousin is lighting it up with another team. I think he deserves a trophy every day he doesn’t get into a fight. It’s like being the Principles kid, the daughter of an actress or Gary Bettmans body double. One hint I will give Brett don’t mention your disabled brother when you are being charged with punching out a taxi driver. If you are giving a shout out do it to Patrick Kane of the Chicago Blackhawks.

I love the howl that goes off when the Phoenix Coyotes score a goal at Jobbing.com stadium, especially on a Wednesday when they are playing Columbus. The echo from the howl reminds me of a dog running away in Saskatchewan... it goes on for ever...

In honour of the rehabilitation of Michael Vick a new reality show is coming called Conviction Gridiron. Each week a new NFL player will be released from prison and try to catch on with a team. According to the producers of the show it will be a show of hope and best of all there is an unending supply. Plaxico Burris... come on down!

The Lance Armstrong drug scandal is widening to include France and European countries and soon will rival the Nuremberg Trials for testimony and scope. At some point prosecutors hope to issue a scathing report but not until they check out training facilities in Hawaii, Fiji and Bali during the winter.

George W Bush is reflective of the damage he has caused during his term as President but his biggest regret is turning up for almost all of the Texas Rangers home losses during the playoffs. Collateral damage, worldwide financial chaos and national disgrace are one thing but a World Series title is forever.

It looks like the Washington Redskins need help with their ownership during the final 2 minutes before signing a contract. I think Donovan is worth $78 million but only if he can mentor another ex-con like Vick.

Montreal Canadian goaltender Carey Price was named the 1st star of the week by the NHL. In celebration Canadians fans looted a Gap and later blew out the traditional burning Police car.

Brett Favre says he won’t have an MRI to examine his sore shoulder saying he has looked at it with his X-ray vision and confirmed a mere mortal would never play again but he’s OK.

One of the great horses of all time Zenyatta has been retired to pasture where she will be expected not to pass the boys.

Tiger Woods says he got away from his core values and now likes nothing more than to give his child a bath. This surprised 12 of his 19 former flings who reported he wasn’t that fond of playing rub a dub dub in the tub.

The Canadian armed forces have purchased 500 video games for use by soldiers with titles like "Gears of War", "Call of Duty", "Mortal Kombat" and "Assassins Creed." The only non shooter game is Tiger Woods 2011 which teaches the soldiers how to grip a club and conduct a secret rendezvous while under curfew.