Shot the Wad at Xmas!

Police seized weapons and ammo at the home of Plaxico Burris sending him scrambling to find stocking stuffers for his posse.

The police also took his bloodied sweatpants and runners meaning he will have to visit Sports Mart before he can go out on New Years.

Due to a drop in advertising revenue the NY Times is said to be trying to sell their stake in the Boston Red Sox. The first clue the shares were for sale appeared in a Classified Ad under the heading “The perfect gift for the man who used to have everything”.

The trainer for Roger Clemens has reserved the right to sue Roger over his claims the trainer is lying about administering steroids. When asked if the trainer should have these rights a spokesman for Clemens says it is a bit of a stretch.

Lance Armstrong says his girlfriend became pregnant naturally and by this he meant she was introduced to Travis Henry. Lance is proud of being able to father a baby naturally despite losing a testicle to cancer, sitting on a bike for hours on end and getting sacked by Sheryl Crow.

With the economy in such trouble you would have thought the NY Yankees might wait until Boxing Day to see if they could get some of the players they wanted on sale.

The economic slowdown is hitting the 2010 Olympics with organizers saying they will not have individual ceremonies and instead mail winners their medals COD.

Top 3 Signs you probably made Santa’s naughty list
# 3 You left out Detroit Lions season tickets for Santa instead of cookies and milk
# 2 The only Holly, Noel and Candy you saw this season was at Club Supersex
# 1 Roger Clemens asks you to spike the Christmas punch

Minnesota Wild star Marian Gaborik has been told to take 2 games off to rest his sore groin or as they call it in the NBA a road trip injury.

NY Jets Shaun Ellis was fined $10,000 for throwing a snowball at fans and it could have been worse but NY Giants linebacker Antonio Pierce got the snow out of the City before anyone noticed.

President Bush gave out pardons this year to white collar criminals, tax evaders and the defensive line coaches for the Detroit Lions.

After seeing pictures of a buff President elect Obama SI is considering a new entrant for their swimsuit issue.