My thanks to Cam Hutchinson for supporting this creation. Cheers DJW

Saturday, July 14, 2007

July 14 2007

Louis Vultton has ended its sponsor agreement with the Americas Cup saying even they couldn’t afford the purses. Company officials say the withdrawal was due to rampant commercialism in the sport citing the recent ruling that sails must be made from a minimum 400 count Egyptian cotton sheet.

I’m curious but does Jake Wetzel of Saskatoon call his stroke in the men’s 8 the Corn Row?

As the Stampede winds down it is tough to say who spread the most manure the cows or the politicians. The end of the Stampede also marks the end of the current location for Cowboys. In honour of the event the waitresses will wear their dental floss at half mast. Next year Cowboys will be located next to a Hotel which means you can get a room with a view.

I now have greater respect for versatile athletes after watching Prime Minister Stephen Harper try to go from a right winger to centre.

Not sure what is more ironic getting gored in the calf or starting the run by drinking a Red Bull.

After seeing long jumper Salim Sdiri get hit by a javelin in the Pan Am Games you have to wonder just how far was his leap?

Watching the fans at Mosaic Field in Saskatchewan celebrate after a touchdown that got them to within 21 points of BC makes me wish everyone could have such a great time losing. Calgary is so mad at giving up 82 straight points there is talk of supporting the soccer team.

David Beckham says he wears #23 in honour of a football legend and I thought he was too young to have seen Ron Lancaster play.

NY Rangers centre Matt Cullen is hoping his next hat trick is to be able to fit under the salary cap.

Friday, July 13, 2007

July 13 2007

In an effort to reach out to fans the NBA is compiling a video of teams on the road with a tentative title Knocked Up.

Watching the Calgary Flames and Stampeders struggle on the road is like a Greek Tragedy, from Homer to the Odyssey.

Signs your team has had a bad road trip… the only ones to greet you at the airport are paramedics… Your wife says she can’t stand the pressure and is moving to Edmonton… The airline charges you extra for the emotional baggage you are carrying.

Maybe it is the altitude so in keeping with FIFA’s ban on games over 3500’Calgary is now asking the NHL to consider an expansion team on Mt. Everest. Opposing players used to blame the loss on Calgary’s thin, dry air that left them breathless. Turns out it was just from spending a night at Cowboys.

The Calgary Stampeders receiving core has been given a clean bill of health by team doctors saying not one of them have even caught a cold.

After signing free agent Sheldon Souray you can forgive GM Kevin Lowe from recycling Sally Field’s “You like me… you really like me” Oscar speech.

Brent Sutter has signed a contract to coach the New Jersey Devils. The length of the deal is expected to be 2 years with a team option to dismiss him if they make the playoffs. Asked how coaching in New Jersey will compare with Red Deer Sutter said the landscape is not much different than playing in Moose Jaw, he has had pretty good success against the Hitmen and during his childhood he was whacked a lot.

Formula 1’s decision to abandon the races on the Indianapolis oval are an indication they are looking to go a different direction.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

July 12 2007

You know the NBA is drafting players too young when they need time off for getting their tonsils removed. I miss the good old days when the NBA daycare was for the players extra children.

A poll in China revealed 68% of respondents want NBA draft Yi Jianlian to sign with the Milwaukee Bucks. The remaining 32% are waiting to see how close it is to Edmonton.

Law makers in California are considering a tax on strip clubs or as NBA officials call it profiling.

The NHL released the 2007-08 schedule on Wednesday and for the first time Toronto will go undefeated against the Northwest division. Fans in Edmonton will be able to voice their anger at players who rejected them on Oct.6, 9, 24, 23, 28, most of Nov. and all of Dec.

Hockey Day in Canada will include American teams for the first time as the Outdoor Network needed a fill in after Tractor Pulling moved to ESPN.

Alexi Yashin says if he doesn’t get fair market value he will play in Russia or sign with an NHL team and give less than 100%.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Former CFL quarterback Matt Dunigan was given the opportunity to be an official in a recent game and the first time he threw a flag it was intercepted.

Tour de France officials are blaming Tuesdays crash on road rage not roid rage.

Cowboy Zeb Lanham was launched 15’into the air by the bull Wrangler Rock Star who was upset after being left out of the Live Earth concert.

After announcing the 2009 Olympic Curling Trials would be held in Edmonton officials are now saying they have to wait until their wives approve.

After flying directly to Hamilton after a lopsided loss the Calgary Stampeders are having a tough time removing the bad taste from their mouth.

Toronto Blue Jays Alex Rios was subbed in with 2 out in the 9th inning of the All Star Game due to the new no child left behind rule.

With Dave Dickenson throwing 1 TD in 2 games, Henry Burris putting up 8 points in a loss to Saskatchewan, Anthony Calvillo getting sacked 14 times in 2 games and Jason Maas getting shelled in Hamilton this year may not be a pivotal one for the CFL.

Lions OT Rob Murphy got into a shouting match with the father of Eskimos DE Adam Braidwood after Rob pushed Adam and held him to the turf. Rob was contrite asking the father for forgiveness for he has pinned.

In a poll by Calgary Stampeder players Regina and Hamilton were selected as the cities with the least pretty women. In a related poll the women in both Regina and Hamilton voted Calgary as the team to have the most incomplete passes.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Having a bad year is when players vote you on the MLB All Star team to throw for the home run contest.

Calgary quarterback Henry Burris blamed so many of his teammates after the loss to Saskatchewan he is in the running to replace Rosie O’Donnell on the View.

In order to have some fun with the drug scandal, this years Tour de France leader will wear a clear jersey. The riders are miffed at having to sign a contract agreeing to pay a fine of one years salary if they get caught cheating so the whine heard in Bordeaux was more than sour grapes.

In the tradition of the home run contest Barry Bonds was given some softball questions to try and hit out of the park. Asked if race was an issue Barry said he wanted to talk about the home run record not NASCAR.

Asked what they will do to recognize a pro sport record 10,000th loss Philadelphia Phillies officials were waiting to hear back from organizers from the Toronto Maple Leafs. According to the team no one recognizes losing like the Maple Leafs.

After signing a 5 year $43.5 million dollar extension Sidney Crosby said he hopes he can improve and eventually get Thomas Vanek kind of money.

MLB commissioner Bud Selig say he will be in the stands when Barry Bonds surpasses Hank Aaron in home runs now that he has figured out how to TIVO “The Biggest Loser”.

In light of the record number of altercations involving race car drivers UFC75 will unveil its Volkswagen division.

Sports agent Gustavo Dominguz was convicted of smuggling baseball players into the United States. In his defense Gustavo said he thought Cubans with good smoke were cigars.

Vancouver Canucks have let go defenseman Rory Fitzpatrick and the Edmonton Oilers are said to be interested. Team officials think this is as close to an All Star signing they will have a chance at.

Monday, July 9, 2007

With players getting ejected from CFL games in Saskatchewan and Vancouver officials are asking teams to take their fight songs less serious.

The Calgary Stampeders game plan was to pressure the quarterback but when Terrius George was kicked out of the game they were unable to hairy Kerry.

Question of the weekend “can hot dog eating champ Takeru Kobayashi still cut the mustard”? You have to wonder if arthritis of the jaw didn’t play a part in Jeremy Roenicks retirement as well.

UFC president Dana White says Canada would get more fights if they had less hockey games to which Gary Bettman replied “hey we tried”.

Nik Lewis and Jermaine Copeland have promised to not celebrate as much after catching passes this year and they plan to do this by dropping as many as possible.

When told by the NHL they would have to spend a minimum $34 million on salaries in the upcoming year Edmonton Oilers GM Kevin Lowe said to the stick boys… buy a house.

Wonder if Lowe can relate to the pressure of the men at the world wife carrying championships? In the new psychological evaluation the Oilers give to prospective players one of the questions is “Do you enjoy the TV Show Wife Swap”?

At the start of the Under 20 World Cup the Canadian media went out of their way to report we had a chance to advance in the tournament. I thought they meant win some games not just advance the ball occasionally. And who are the writers that predicted we would do well? Shouldn’t they go back to covering the Toronto Maple Leafs?