Having a bad year is when players vote you on the MLB All Star team to throw for the home run contest.

Calgary quarterback Henry Burris blamed so many of his teammates after the loss to Saskatchewan he is in the running to replace Rosie O’Donnell on the View.

In order to have some fun with the drug scandal, this years Tour de France leader will wear a clear jersey. The riders are miffed at having to sign a contract agreeing to pay a fine of one years salary if they get caught cheating so the whine heard in Bordeaux was more than sour grapes.

In the tradition of the home run contest Barry Bonds was given some softball questions to try and hit out of the park. Asked if race was an issue Barry said he wanted to talk about the home run record not NASCAR.

Asked what they will do to recognize a pro sport record 10,000th loss Philadelphia Phillies officials were waiting to hear back from organizers from the Toronto Maple Leafs. According to the team no one recognizes losing like the Maple Leafs.

After signing a 5 year $43.5 million dollar extension Sidney Crosby said he hopes he can improve and eventually get Thomas Vanek kind of money.

MLB commissioner Bud Selig say he will be in the stands when Barry Bonds surpasses Hank Aaron in home runs now that he has figured out how to TIVO “The Biggest Loser”.

In light of the record number of altercations involving race car drivers UFC75 will unveil its Volkswagen division.

Sports agent Gustavo Dominguz was convicted of smuggling baseball players into the United States. In his defense Gustavo said he thought Cubans with good smoke were cigars.

Vancouver Canucks have let go defenseman Rory Fitzpatrick and the Edmonton Oilers are said to be interested. Team officials think this is as close to an All Star signing they will have a chance at.