My thanks to Cam Hutchinson for supporting this creation. Cheers DJW

Thursday, April 17, 2008

A POPEular Guy

There were reports of another polygamist sect operating in Denver but it turned out to just be a Travis Henry family reunion.

Heisman Trophy winner Herschel Walker once played Russian roulette with a loaded pistol and thankfully it wasn’t a hole he hit.

Despite winning the 2006 Cialis Open golfer Trevor Immelman says winning the Masters was the real big one.

The Buffalo Bills will play the Miami Dolphins in an NFL game in Toronto thus continuing the foundation Toronto sports teams have established, paying ridiculous prices for losing teams.

MLB honoured Jackie Robinson with some players wearing his number 42 and Toronto closer Jeremy Accardo posting it as his ERA.

The Vancouver Canucks fired GM Dave Nonis saying he was no Brian Burke who they had fired before him.

United States Olympic Chairman Peter Ueberroth says he believes the US will field a clean team citing a sponsorship agreement with Dove, Head and Shoulders and Irish Spring.


He says only time will tell how many athletes will be found to have used performance enhancing drugs though he felt the onus was on athletes to find better masking agents.

For the first time the Boston Marathon will post Ads at the start and finish line of the race and in an ironic turn the first sponsor will be the English Tea Company.

France will not allow their athletes to wear a badge saying “For a better World” saying it contrasts with the agreed upon slogan “Have a smoke”.


Tiger Woods will undergo knee surgery which will coincide with a cut in TV golf coverage.

Pope Benedict will say a mass in the home of the Washington Senators a team desperately seeking divine intervention.

The Ottawa Senators turned out like most Governments do, all start no finish.

An astronaut threw out the first pitch to a NY Yankee game from the Space Station the second person to throw one from orbit after Bull “Spaceman” Lee.

Recently fired Vancouver Canuck GM Dave Nonis is embracing the digital age with his press conference being shown on both a sports network and Monster.ca.

The owner of the Cowboys’ Nightclub says he might open up a gay bar in Calgary noting there will be less interference than he is getting to his plans to open a regular club and during the Stampede he can get a real deal on chaps.

The Pope is asking his US Bishops to educate children on proper sexuality which is like Sean Avery advising children on how to act like an adult.

Top 3 signs the US Olympic athletes will be drug free

# 3 Drug testing coincided with bring your daughter to work day

# 2 Relay team practices passing vials of clean urine to each other

# 1 The only Olympic medals the US wins are for good sportsmanship

Monday, April 14, 2008

His Cup nearly half full

The Amen Corner at the Masters is the hole where broadcasters pray Tiger Woods is still in the hunt.

A section of the stands collapsed during a Memphis Grizzlies game causing officials to ponder the wisdom of the all you can eat buffet promotion.

Jimmie Johnson says he didn’t skip a fuel stop on purpose he just didn’t have enough cash for another fill up.

Former Detroit Tigers pitcher Denny McLain was released from jail after a reliever came in to close out his sentence.

The cost of houses has increased in Saskatoon by 58% in the past year prompting speculation the population may be softened up enough to support $200 NHL tickets.

Michael Strahan has asked a court to reduce his divorce settlement saying he is the one who was supposed to sack people.

A rare occurrence on Friday when both the Masters commentators and announcers of the Flyers - Capitals game used the term striking the ball well.

After watching Philadelphia Flyers Patrick Thoresen take a slapshot off the groin I’m pretty sure Stanley wasn’t his favourite Cup.

Listening to the music the Masters uses reminds me isn’t it about time for the Ice Cream Trucks to start up?

NY Rangers forward Sean Avery was just playing charades with New Jersey Devils goalie Martin Brodeur and I got it right away, 1 word sounds like stick...easy.

Workers at NY Yankee Stadium were slowed down as they dug up a Boston Red Sox Jersey as they had to work around the remains of Jimmy Hoffa and Amelia Earhart.


In what has been described as a first for NY a worker dug up a Boston Red Sox jersey and there was no body with it.


Despite winning the 2006 Cialis Open golfer Trevor Immelman says winning the Masters was the real big one.