Steve Downie is hoping his suspension will be reduced by the NHL but it seems to me like a leap of faith. Watching all the people in hockey attack Downie you wonder if they shouldn’t be penalized for piling on.
Mike Keenan was about the only NHL person that questioned Dean McAmmonds decision to admire the pass he made instead of keeping his head up. The league wanted to censure him for his comments but couldn’t find anyone willing to make the call.
The NHL has put Ottawa Senators forward Brian McGratten on notice saying if he threatens anyone in the future he will be threatened again with disipline.
The BC Lions are “scared” because they haven’t seen a lot of Akili Smith on film whereas the Calgary Stampeders are scared because they have.
If you wonder why the Canadian Government is suddenly so concerned with Global Warming it is because they have just figured out there would be less hockey and more soccer.
Mongolian Sumo Wrestler Yokozuna Hakuho was given 100 horses and sheep for winning a major Sumo Tournament. Yokozuna thanked the people of his home villiage for what he called a good pre-tournament meal.
NBA rookie Greg Oden says despite his season ending injury he will be the best possible teammate by cheering, handing out towels and going to the Strip Club early to get the best after game seats.
The US Womens Soccer team was beaten by Brazil and to show what good sports they are some are donating the shirts off their back to charity. The team is upset by the way Brazil taunted them saying it was a blatant infringement on their trademark.
Saturday, September 29, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Put the Halo on Ice!
The Chicago Cubs are closing in on a pennant and in preparation for a possible World Series run Hell is stocking up on ice making equipment.
Let me get this straight, Steve Downie hits someone with an illegal check and players, coaches and General Managers say he should be banned from the NHL. Brandon Sutter hits a Russian in the Junior Summit with an illegal check and he is playing great Canadian hockey. Matts Sundin crosschecks a Buffalo Sabres player from behind into the boards and he is a rugged player. If Don Cherry sides with the hypocrites we can start the countdown to Armageddon.
I know Steve Downie has a hearing problem but his most pressing condition might be his sight because I’m pretty sure he never saw this coming. If every player in the NHL was banned for leaving his feet to deliver a hit the league would be populated by the Ice Capades.
Not sure what was bigger this week the release of Halo 3 or the Halo’s acquired by NHL players when discussing the hit by Steve Downie.
There is more headhunting in the NHL pre-season than a Calgary Oil Company at a University Graduation Ceremony.
Michael Vick tested positive for marijuana so now he has been convicted for holding dog fights and is being put under restrictions for hangin with Snoop Dogg. The Royal Bank of Canada is suing Vick to try and recover money lent to him but officials for the bank fear the money may be up in smoke.
After seeing the Toronto Maple Leafs goalies fall apart in the pre-season I’m pretty sure Mark Bell won’t be the only Leaf requiring a stiff drink. This year may be a milestone as Leafs fans will not only be falling off the band wagon but the wagon as well.
After an internet vote it has been decided the home run record setting ball of Barry Bonds will be branded with an asterisk and sent to the Hall of Fame. A group of lawyers for asterisks of the world say they plan to file a class action suit for defamation of the character.
A poll out of London England site of an NHL exhibition game showed only 7% of people watch hockey. This had NHL President Gary Bettman salivating as it is 5% points higher than in the US.
Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman has been demoted and will now only be available to throw interceptions in relief. Despite having the 2nd worst quarterback rating in the NFL Grossman was surprised with the demotion saying he needed time to get his rhythm. A spokesman for the Bears say they are trying to help him and once they figure out what instrument he has been playing it will be easier.
Let me get this straight, Steve Downie hits someone with an illegal check and players, coaches and General Managers say he should be banned from the NHL. Brandon Sutter hits a Russian in the Junior Summit with an illegal check and he is playing great Canadian hockey. Matts Sundin crosschecks a Buffalo Sabres player from behind into the boards and he is a rugged player. If Don Cherry sides with the hypocrites we can start the countdown to Armageddon.
I know Steve Downie has a hearing problem but his most pressing condition might be his sight because I’m pretty sure he never saw this coming. If every player in the NHL was banned for leaving his feet to deliver a hit the league would be populated by the Ice Capades.
Not sure what was bigger this week the release of Halo 3 or the Halo’s acquired by NHL players when discussing the hit by Steve Downie.
There is more headhunting in the NHL pre-season than a Calgary Oil Company at a University Graduation Ceremony.
Michael Vick tested positive for marijuana so now he has been convicted for holding dog fights and is being put under restrictions for hangin with Snoop Dogg. The Royal Bank of Canada is suing Vick to try and recover money lent to him but officials for the bank fear the money may be up in smoke.
After seeing the Toronto Maple Leafs goalies fall apart in the pre-season I’m pretty sure Mark Bell won’t be the only Leaf requiring a stiff drink. This year may be a milestone as Leafs fans will not only be falling off the band wagon but the wagon as well.
After an internet vote it has been decided the home run record setting ball of Barry Bonds will be branded with an asterisk and sent to the Hall of Fame. A group of lawyers for asterisks of the world say they plan to file a class action suit for defamation of the character.
A poll out of London England site of an NHL exhibition game showed only 7% of people watch hockey. This had NHL President Gary Bettman salivating as it is 5% points higher than in the US.
Chicago Bears quarterback Rex Grossman has been demoted and will now only be available to throw interceptions in relief. Despite having the 2nd worst quarterback rating in the NFL Grossman was surprised with the demotion saying he needed time to get his rhythm. A spokesman for the Bears say they are trying to help him and once they figure out what instrument he has been playing it will be easier.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Naked Dumb!
With all the streakers at McMahon Field in Calgary you have to wonder after seeing Henry Burris get injured why all the desire to do a naked bootleg?
Jose Offerman was arraigned on Monday for his attack on a pitcher and catcher during a game. Jose has pleaded not guilty to assault on the battery.
San Diego Padres Milton Bradley tore ligaments in his knee while arguing with an umpire. Doctors hope to have Milton up and throwing light fits in about a month and should be able to work his way up to hissy fits by the start of spring training. The Padres are considering hiring Atlanta Braves Manager Bobby Cox to show Milton how to hrow fits using the whole body to avoid future injuries.
NHL players are saying the new water resistant jerseys do not allow the players sweat to cool and so they are changing their gloves, underwear and skates more often. A spokesperson for Reebok makers of the new jerseys say they will soon unveil an new line of moisture wicking underwear and gloves to soak up the extra sweat. Players are having a tough time getting used to the new tight fitting jerseys but the biggest complaint is that the new pants make their asses look fat.
The Chicago Cubs are closing in on a pennant and in preparation for a possible World Series run Hell is stocking up on ice making equipment.
Monday, September 24, 2007
Queer Eye for the Straight Arm
Mike Myers is going to make a movie about the Toronto Maple Leafs 40 years of playoff futility with a tentative title “Knocked Out”. Jessica Alba will play the only owner who looks better in a sweater than her players. The movie comes with a tag line… Save the Maple Leafs save the Center of the Universe.
With the death of Marcel Marceau the only mime left in the world of entertainment is New England coach Bill Belichick. Coach Belichick said he knew Marceau was ailing as he could read all the signs.
Were the Philadelphia Eagles uniforms were created for a new TV show “Queer Eye for the Straight Arm”?
Philadelphia Phillies Ryan Howard has set a major League record for strike outs passing the previous one set by Isiah Thomas while auditioning front office staff for the NY Knicks.
The release of the Halo video game is expected to surpass the record for first person shooter games currently held by the NBA All Star 2006.
The United Kingdom is bracing for another invasion of foot and mouth disease now that GM Brian Burke of the Anaheim Ducks is in London for an exhibition game. Trying to pick out the toothless NHL stars from the audience must be an autograph seekers worst nightmare.
With Zombie movies doing so well at the box office how long will it be until there is script featuring the Atlanta Falcons?
English football team Chelsea is trying to get their new manager approved for the upcoming season despite not having a license not unlike the Toronto Maple Leafs Mark Bell.
Here is the difference between the NFL and Professional Soccer. In professional soccer you need a license to play in the NFL you have a license to kill.
Nike is getting out of the hockey business saying the profit margins like the new sweaters are just too tight. Nike regrets any inconvenience this may cause the 17 Americans who have purchased hockey equipment last year.
The coach of Our Savior Lutheran High School was fired for having a football team that was too good and they will now play intramural sports instead. A Spokesperson for the school said they got the idea from the San Diego Chargers.
With the death of Marcel Marceau the only mime left in the world of entertainment is New England coach Bill Belichick. Coach Belichick said he knew Marceau was ailing as he could read all the signs.
Were the Philadelphia Eagles uniforms were created for a new TV show “Queer Eye for the Straight Arm”?
Philadelphia Phillies Ryan Howard has set a major League record for strike outs passing the previous one set by Isiah Thomas while auditioning front office staff for the NY Knicks.
The release of the Halo video game is expected to surpass the record for first person shooter games currently held by the NBA All Star 2006.
The United Kingdom is bracing for another invasion of foot and mouth disease now that GM Brian Burke of the Anaheim Ducks is in London for an exhibition game. Trying to pick out the toothless NHL stars from the audience must be an autograph seekers worst nightmare.
With Zombie movies doing so well at the box office how long will it be until there is script featuring the Atlanta Falcons?
English football team Chelsea is trying to get their new manager approved for the upcoming season despite not having a license not unlike the Toronto Maple Leafs Mark Bell.
Here is the difference between the NFL and Professional Soccer. In professional soccer you need a license to play in the NFL you have a license to kill.
Nike is getting out of the hockey business saying the profit margins like the new sweaters are just too tight. Nike regrets any inconvenience this may cause the 17 Americans who have purchased hockey equipment last year.
The coach of Our Savior Lutheran High School was fired for having a football team that was too good and they will now play intramural sports instead. A Spokesperson for the school said they got the idea from the San Diego Chargers.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
A Watched Pot
Seeing the Philadelphia Eagles play in their 1933 jerseys is reason enough not to get high definition TV. The jerseys were so ugly the people from Fashion 911 declared Philadelphia to be on orange alert. If the Eagles wear those jerseys again the terrorists have won.
Time will tell if the Stampeders Achilles heel is Akili's arm.
There seems to be a new trend in football this year where the quarterback stretches out to get the ball further ahead and then later stretches out on the stretcher to recover. It balances out I guess you get more yards per carry and more carry off the fields per yard.
I know it’s only the pre season but watching the Calgary Flames coach Mike Keenan as they lose the first 4 contests reminds me of an unattended pressure cooker.
Just another sign that God is a Roughies fan. He showed us the Promised Land in the first half of the season and is now going to make us wander the desert. Seeing BC Lions Sherko Haji-Rasouli get away with tearing the helmet from the Rouyghriders Scott Schultz reminds me how OJ got off.
I was shocked to see gay porn on my TV the other day but it turned out to be a UFC fight. I know these guys are tough but if I want to see two men locking their legs around each other for 5 minutes I will rent Brokeback Mountain.
Time will tell if the Stampeders Achilles heel is Akili's arm.
There seems to be a new trend in football this year where the quarterback stretches out to get the ball further ahead and then later stretches out on the stretcher to recover. It balances out I guess you get more yards per carry and more carry off the fields per yard.
I know it’s only the pre season but watching the Calgary Flames coach Mike Keenan as they lose the first 4 contests reminds me of an unattended pressure cooker.
Just another sign that God is a Roughies fan. He showed us the Promised Land in the first half of the season and is now going to make us wander the desert. Seeing BC Lions Sherko Haji-Rasouli get away with tearing the helmet from the Rouyghriders Scott Schultz reminds me how OJ got off.
I was shocked to see gay porn on my TV the other day but it turned out to be a UFC fight. I know these guys are tough but if I want to see two men locking their legs around each other for 5 minutes I will rent Brokeback Mountain.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
