Queer Eye for the Straight Arm

Mike Myers is going to make a movie about the Toronto Maple Leafs 40 years of playoff futility with a tentative title “Knocked Out”. Jessica Alba will play the only owner who looks better in a sweater than her players. The movie comes with a tag line… Save the Maple Leafs save the Center of the Universe.

With the death of Marcel Marceau the only mime left in the world of entertainment is New England coach Bill Belichick. Coach Belichick said he knew Marceau was ailing as he could read all the signs.

Were the Philadelphia Eagles uniforms were created for a new TV show “Queer Eye for the Straight Arm”?

Philadelphia Phillies Ryan Howard has set a major League record for strike outs passing the previous one set by Isiah Thomas while auditioning front office staff for the NY Knicks.

The release of the Halo video game is expected to surpass the record for first person shooter games currently held by the NBA All Star 2006.

The United Kingdom is bracing for another invasion of foot and mouth disease now that GM Brian Burke of the Anaheim Ducks is in London for an exhibition game. Trying to pick out the toothless NHL stars from the audience must be an autograph seekers worst nightmare.

With Zombie movies doing so well at the box office how long will it be until there is script featuring the Atlanta Falcons?

English football team Chelsea is trying to get their new manager approved for the upcoming season despite not having a license not unlike the Toronto Maple Leafs Mark Bell.

Here is the difference between the NFL and Professional Soccer. In professional soccer you need a license to play in the NFL you have a license to kill.

Nike is getting out of the hockey business saying the profit margins like the new sweaters are just too tight. Nike regrets any inconvenience this may cause the 17 Americans who have purchased hockey equipment last year.

The coach of Our Savior Lutheran High School was fired for having a football team that was too good and they will now play intramural sports instead. A Spokesperson for the school said they got the idea from the San Diego Chargers.