Cock of the Walk

You have to give LA Laker Kobe Bryant credit for effort. Despite dislocating his finger and scoring only 6 points he still managed to get off more shots than his teammates.

Rick Tocchet is going to be back coaching for the Phoenix Coyotes this week. Rick says it is not about the money although he is hoping to cover his losses from the Super Bowl. Asked how he thought his team will do with him back behind the bench, Tocchet says in his book they are 4-1 to make the playoffs.

Not sure who lost the most last week, people caught in the sub-prime mortgage scandal, people holding sinking stocks or Fat Benny who took the Patriots minus the pints.

Los Vegas bookies lost more than $2.5 million on the Super Bowl with the biggest loss being the over-under on total commercials.

Michael Vick will get to keep $15.5 million in bonuses because the judge said the contract did not specifically rule out Vick playing other sports.

The Edmonton Oilers are reeling from a rash of injuries to top players but on the bright side new owner Daryl Katz can get a good discount on painkillers and anaesthetic.

New England Patriots defensive back Willie Andrews was caught with a half pound of marijuana and without means to smoke the drug. Andrews said in his defence he didn’t bring any papers because he thought he was going to have a Super Bowl. Players were shocked after hearing of his arrest saying if they had lost the game they would have used crack.

A CBC documentary says wrestler Chris Benoit had the brain of an 85 year old man at the time of his death. This is about 81 years older than most wrestler act.

The Calgary Flames have signed defenseman Dion Phaneuf to a contract extension. Terms of the deal were held up to determine the length, amount and who would pay for his broken sticks. With $44 million in salary cap on the books for 14 players next year Calgary is considering icing a 16 man team.

The trade between the Phoenix Suns and Miami Heat for Shaquille O’Neil was finalized after Phoenix agreed to pay the balance of O’Neil’s salary and Miami would pick up his cable bill.

Pizza Pizza has added to its free pizza offer to Toronto fans. If the Raptors score 100 points there will be free pizza and if the Leafs give up 10 goals fans will also cash in.

NY Mets pitcher Pedro Martinez was shown in a Youtube video throwing a rooster into a cockfight. Representatives from the Mets were shocked saying he doesn’t usually use a slider until later in the count. Cock fighting is legal in the Dominican Republic and has often been compared to American Idol without the cruelty.

I guess it’s only fitting that Roger Clemmens could be caught using performance enhancing drugs because of something caused by a pain in his ass. Clemmens trainer says he has hard evidence proving he used steroids including used syringes, cotton swabs and a copy of his improved ERA from 1998 on.

Syper Bowl on the House

The G-Men win the Super Bowl, Canada’s Emily Brydon wins the Super G and poor Tom Brady has to go home to a super g-string.

The only thing perfect about the Super Bowl was seeing Patriots coach Bill Belichick leave before the game was over.

You have to feel bad for Tom Brady because what does he have to look forward to?

You wonder who has been sacked more Tom Brady or his ex girlfriends?

The Presidential candidates tried to capture the spirit and momentum of the game. Republican Mitt Romney was hosting a party in New England and trumpeting his love of the Patriots and Bill Clinton held a party in NY and sang the praises of cheerleaders.

There were a record 97 million people watching the Super Bowl which was just slightly under 150 million less than tuned in for the NBA game featuring Chinese stars Yi Jianlian and Yao Ming.

The NFL donates the hats and t-shirts that had New England Patriots as the Super Bowl champions printed on them to overseas charities. So somewhere in Africa the perfect season lives on.

I had a perfect day picking winners on Sunday with my prediction the Giants would win by 3, the Rangers would beat Montreal and House would cure the sick person.

The Poverty Olympics was held for the first time and in an upset the team from the National Lacrosse League narrowly beat out the team from the Canadian Football League.

Volatile college basketball coach Bobby Knight has retired saying he wanted to spend more time berating the family.

The Hamilton Tiger Cats are not interested in being a part of the Buffalo Bills expansion into Toronto. According to a team spokesman they have their hands full promoting their own losing team and if they wanted to see an underperforming team for $250 they could still get tickets to a Leafs game.

The Giants were treated to a ticker tape parade in New York with the added benefit of having traders able to shower them with worthless stocks.