A man is suing his dry cleaners for $54 million over a pair of lost pants. The move is already paying off as he is now representing Alex Rodriguez in his next contract negotiations. This is the biggest example of being taken to the cleaners since Mike Millbury’s last trade.
The anti-globalization activists “The Yes Men” were threw out of an Oil and Gas Conference in Calgary after falsely charging $50. a person for a talk on oil pricing. Officials with the Petroleum Industry were suspicious from the start when they agreed to do the talk without needing stock options. Officials with the Federal Tories are investigating as the name "Yes Men" is currently held by the cabinet.
The Calgary Flames announced former head coach Jim Playfair will be an “associate coach” to Mike Keenan. That’s like being named “associate wife” along with Angela Jolie. Daryl Suter sounded like the Miss Universe pageant host when he said “If for any reason Mike is unable to fulfill his butt kicking duties…”
I just hope the long layoff Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoia has forced on her fiancée Tony Parker hasn’t affected his inside game.
The San Antonio Spurs have swept the Cleveland Cavaliers making it the first time a broom has been used in Cleveland for years.
The Calgary Stampede will be holding its last horse this weekend ending a 120 year tradition. Punters wanting to lay down bets on races will have to be satisfied wagering on who will cross the line first to purchase a $750,000. 1-bedroom condo.
Fans in Hamilton lined up to purchase season tickets for the upcoming NHL season despite not having a team. Fans in Toronto were envious saying at least they have something to hope for.
Billionaire Daryl Katz has increased his offer to $150 million in his attempt to purchase the Edmonton Oilers. The extra $5 million is a result of finding some loose change in his couch.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
June 14 2007
After removing 5000 trees from the Oakmont Country Club USGA officials say the decision was clear cut. According to new guidelines global warming will now be par for the course.
After hearing Samson Sor Siriporn was released from prison for winning the female WBC light heavy weight championship Paris Hilton is said to be hitting the speed bags. Representatives of Ms. Hilton say she will announce her intentions once she has chosen the appropriate belt and purse.
The Calgary Flames have signed Mike Keenan to coach the squad this year ruling out a return of both Jim Playfair and fair play. Sources close to Keenan were unavailable for comment as according to Keenan, no one comes close to him.
Three “unnamed” cyclists tested positive for steroids yesterday. Officials say they won’t release their names until they have officially won the Tour de France.
David Beckhams wife Posh has filmed a reality show on the couples move to America. The show will follow Posh as she renovates her new home with the tentative title “Spend it like Beckham”.
After hearing Samson Sor Siriporn was released from prison for winning the female WBC light heavy weight championship Paris Hilton is said to be hitting the speed bags. Representatives of Ms. Hilton say she will announce her intentions once she has chosen the appropriate belt and purse.
The Calgary Flames have signed Mike Keenan to coach the squad this year ruling out a return of both Jim Playfair and fair play. Sources close to Keenan were unavailable for comment as according to Keenan, no one comes close to him.
Three “unnamed” cyclists tested positive for steroids yesterday. Officials say they won’t release their names until they have officially won the Tour de France.
David Beckhams wife Posh has filmed a reality show on the couples move to America. The show will follow Posh as she renovates her new home with the tentative title “Spend it like Beckham”.
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
June 13 2007
After much deliberation it is now confirmed by Jamaican police that being strangled after your team loses in the World Cup of cricket is considered dying of natural causes.
Chris Chelios has signed a new contract with the Detroit Red Wings. Officials with the team were delighted when Chris gave them the senior’s discount.
Canadian Paralympian Jeff Adams appeared to pass his drug test until his catheter showed up on You Tube.
Pacman Jones has agreed to drop his appeal of the one year suspension levied by the NFL saying “it’s what Paris Hilton would do”.
Watching the Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander throw a no hitter against Milwaukee has really upset Boston Red Sox hurler Curt Schilling. He just can’t seem to shake it off.
Toronto Maple Leafs centre Matts Sundin has asked for a one year deal instead of two citing the “fool them once” rule.
Chris Chelios has signed a new contract with the Detroit Red Wings. Officials with the team were delighted when Chris gave them the senior’s discount.
Canadian Paralympian Jeff Adams appeared to pass his drug test until his catheter showed up on You Tube.
Pacman Jones has agreed to drop his appeal of the one year suspension levied by the NFL saying “it’s what Paris Hilton would do”.
Watching the Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander throw a no hitter against Milwaukee has really upset Boston Red Sox hurler Curt Schilling. He just can’t seem to shake it off.
Toronto Maple Leafs centre Matts Sundin has asked for a one year deal instead of two citing the “fool them once” rule.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
June 12 2007
The grandfather of Saskatchewan Roughriders receiver Richmond Flowers III was once called the “fastest white boy alive”. The title stuck until recently when former Braves pitcher John Rocker took a stroll through Harlem.
The NHL salary cap has increased to $50 million or as the NY Yankees call it the bullpen.
Olympic breaststroke gold medalist Amanda Beard has posed nude for the upcoming issue of Playboy creating a stroke of luck for boys everywhere.
Former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham threw out the first pitch at a recent LA Dodgers game and threw one with a pretty good bend on it.
Former Chicago White Sox shortstop Juan Uribe has agreed to an out of court settlement in a shooting incident last year. Friends still say Juan is innocent saying his character is of a much higher caliber.
A stripper in Detroit has accused Detroit Lions defensive tackle Shaun Rogers of inappropriate touching by using a $20 instead of a $50.
The NHL salary cap has increased to $50 million or as the NY Yankees call it the bullpen.
Olympic breaststroke gold medalist Amanda Beard has posed nude for the upcoming issue of Playboy creating a stroke of luck for boys everywhere.
Former Spice Girl Victoria Beckham threw out the first pitch at a recent LA Dodgers game and threw one with a pretty good bend on it.
Former Chicago White Sox shortstop Juan Uribe has agreed to an out of court settlement in a shooting incident last year. Friends still say Juan is innocent saying his character is of a much higher caliber.
A stripper in Detroit has accused Detroit Lions defensive tackle Shaun Rogers of inappropriate touching by using a $20 instead of a $50.
Monday, June 11, 2007
June 11 2007
Barry Bonds mother has told him to “snap out of it” after his recent complaints about his teams performance. It was just the shot in the arm he needed.
After attacking golfer John Daly with a steak knife his wife Sherrie has now made more cuts on the men’s tour than Michelle Wie.
The faster the NHL approves Jim Balsillie taking over the Nashville predators the quicker he can add 15,000 people to his friends list on my space.
Kurt Busch was fined $100,000 and lost 100 points for nearly running over a crew of Tony Stewart. Kurt says if Tony had read the script they would have been on the same page.
The English Premier League is cracking down on illegal transfers saying the current rules have no teeth.
Olympic officials are considering adding skateboarding to the summer Olympics in an effort to attract more youth. This is in addition to the hammered toss, drive by skeet shooting and job changing decathlon.
Bjorn Borg pulled out of a celebrity tennis match recently after being bitten on the leg by a dog. Said Bjorn “That’s the last time I go to Michel Vicks for BBQ”.
Billy Donovan asked to be released from his contract with the Miami Heat, David Beckham wants out of his contract with the Los Angles Galaxy and Chris Pronger was released from his contract with the Edmonton Oilers. Is Tony Soprano the only person willing to fulfill his contracts?
After attacking golfer John Daly with a steak knife his wife Sherrie has now made more cuts on the men’s tour than Michelle Wie.
The faster the NHL approves Jim Balsillie taking over the Nashville predators the quicker he can add 15,000 people to his friends list on my space.
Kurt Busch was fined $100,000 and lost 100 points for nearly running over a crew of Tony Stewart. Kurt says if Tony had read the script they would have been on the same page.
The English Premier League is cracking down on illegal transfers saying the current rules have no teeth.
Olympic officials are considering adding skateboarding to the summer Olympics in an effort to attract more youth. This is in addition to the hammered toss, drive by skeet shooting and job changing decathlon.
Bjorn Borg pulled out of a celebrity tennis match recently after being bitten on the leg by a dog. Said Bjorn “That’s the last time I go to Michel Vicks for BBQ”.
Billy Donovan asked to be released from his contract with the Miami Heat, David Beckham wants out of his contract with the Los Angles Galaxy and Chris Pronger was released from his contract with the Edmonton Oilers. Is Tony Soprano the only person willing to fulfill his contracts?
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