June 13 2007

After much deliberation it is now confirmed by Jamaican police that being strangled after your team loses in the World Cup of cricket is considered dying of natural causes.

Chris Chelios has signed a new contract with the Detroit Red Wings. Officials with the team were delighted when Chris gave them the senior’s discount.

Canadian Paralympian Jeff Adams appeared to pass his drug test until his catheter showed up on You Tube.

Pacman Jones has agreed to drop his appeal of the one year suspension levied by the NFL saying “it’s what Paris Hilton would do”.

Watching the Detroit Tigers pitcher Justin Verlander throw a no hitter against Milwaukee has really upset Boston Red Sox hurler Curt Schilling. He just can’t seem to shake it off.

Toronto Maple Leafs centre Matts Sundin has asked for a one year deal instead of two citing the “fool them once” rule.