Losing house and home

Officials with the Stampede say the number of people taking in the event makes up the 4th largest population in Alberta after Calgary, Edmonton and the Rider Nation.

The new movie that stars an unpopular Los Angeles hero that can fly though the air and hits on other men’s women did much better with the title Hancock than the original name Kobe.

Green Bay Packers coach Mike McCarthy was grilled by an 11 year old girl on the status of Brett Favre returning to the team and while trying to answer the question his pants set on fire.

The Kentucky Horse Racing Commission is considering a ban on steroids saying the old grey mares are not only what they used to be but not what they are supposed to be.

Now that Seattle has lost their NBA team the way is open for the City to pursue an NHL franchise. Using the Gary Bettman formula they have a substandard arena, with no ownership or fan base and most important are not in Canada.

Michael Vick is filing for bankruptcy and hopes the judge will throw him a bone.

In order to lower salaries players going to arbitration have been advised by NHL officials they can choose between Judge Judy, Judge Wapner or Judge Dread.

With the Russian Continental League signing NHL players like Chris Simon and Ray Emery you have to wonder if they are competition for the NHL or a Rehab Clinic.

Officials with the NY Yankees say the rumours of A-Rod and Madonna are false and in fact she is doing an article on the team and has been imbedded for a few weeks.

Olympic officials are in panic mode as a giant swarm of locust threatens to invade Beijing while restaurants are scrambling to get them on the menu.

Officials with the Toronto Argonauts have confirmed offensive coordinator Steve Burrato has been stripped of his ability to call plays and they will now come from Buffalo.

Coney Island had their annual wiener eating contest this weekend beating the previous record of most hot dogs at an event set by the NBA All Star Game.

Calgary Flames defenseman Robyn Regehr visited Africa with a charity group called Right to play and while he was at a village he had children licking his arm. When he asked a local what they called this he was told “tenderizing”.

According to LA Clipper fans traitor is now a Brand name.

Top 3 excuses for not attending the MLB All Star Game
# 3 Already over players targeted carbon footprint
# 2 Wife worried Madonna is still in New York
# 1 Player has previous engagement for meaningless family outing

The Canadian Government will place strict new rules on individuals purchasing a new home however NHL GMs will still be able to mortgage their futures.

A survey says Swedish senior citizens are the World’s most active in the sheets which might explain all the loving Mats Sundin is getting from NHL GMs.

Formula 1 head Max Mosley is in court suing London’s News of the World for a headline that read “Formula 1 Boss has sick Nazi Orgy with 5 Hookers”. Mosley admits he had an orgy with 5 hookers and they humiliated and abused him and were dressed in German military uniforms but any history major could tell you the uniforms were clearly Fascist and not Nazi.

The federal Government is looking at changing the so called marriages of convenience or as it is know in sports free agency.

The Toronto Argonauts have placed quarterback Michael Bishop on waiver with a right to recall which is odd since they fail to recall they he was signed to an extension this summer.

The Chicago Cubs say they picked up Rich Harden to improve their pitching which is the ultimate 7th inning stretch.