The Toronto
Maple Leafs decided to cancel their prospects tournament. Not because of the
impending lockout, they just looked at their recent drafts and concluded they
have no future prospects.
San
Francisco Giants suspended slugger Melky Cabrera is said to have enlisted the
help of a trainer to throw off MLB drug testers by pretending to take a product
unrelated to performance enhancement. The trouble is he used the website from
Manny Ramirez and MLB refused to believe he was pre-menopausal.
A new candy
company has been created called Maria Sugarpova a play on the name of the
tennis player. Not to be outdone other players have formed companies including
a coat line called Roger FURder, a chemistry set called Boris Beaker and a
specialty pipe called the Bjorn Bong.
Canadian
Major Junior Hockey players are voting on a proposal to create a Union for the
players. The news has been received with open arms from NHL Commissioner Gary
Bettman who says he can now mentor the next generation of Union busting lockout
stars.
Roger Clemens
will apparently join a minor league team and pitch his 1st game in
years. According to both scouts and chemists who have seen Roger pitch they say
that he still has the right stuff.
Congratulation
are in order to the men of Augusta National for allowing 2 women to become
members of their exclusive club. In related news select women will now be
allowed to wash the member’s balls.
LA Dodgers
announcer Vince Scully says he will return for a 64th year of
broadcasting the games. Asked if he can still call double headers at his age
Vince replied “Well… Depends…”
I find it
ironic to blame fired coach Paul LaPolice for the failure of the Winnipeg Blue
Bombers when clearly the players he was given should have been a crime.
If the end
of a hard day’s work is Miller time I guess the current Toronto Blue Jays
losing streak is called Maple Leafs time.
If I was one
of the women that let a 15 year old girl beat the best me by 5 strokes at a
major championship… I’d feel a Wie bit embarrassed.
NDP leader
Thomas Mulcair has waded in on the trade of 3 players with $250 million in
salaries by the Boston Red Sox to the Los Angeles Dodgers. He says the Dodgers
are crippling smaller market clubs with what he calls the Dutch Arm disease.
I’m still
trying to figure out what was bigger about Roger Clemmens comeback to minor
league ball. His strike outs, control or hat size. Roger was blunt saying he
would need another shot in the arm to reach the majors.
Saskatchewan
Roughriders coach Corey Chamblin was asked to explain why he gave the ball back
to the Stampeders instead of going for it on 3rd down with 2 minutes
left and his team behind by 7 points. Corey said the wind played a factor and
he figured his kicker could put the ball farther than he could throw a fit if
they didn’t convert.
With all the
fuss over how the Royals spend too much of the taxpayers money it was good to
see Prince Harry riding bareback to save a few bucks.
Rogers
Communications says they purchased The Score to get access to their mobile
technology in particular their real time scores and statistics. This gives
Rogers a foothold into the growing market of Toronto Maple Leafs fans who want
to be given bad news on the fly.
“Polishing
the turd” an expression used when trying to make a poor performance sound good.
For example if your resume says “Coached the Winnipeg Blue Bombers…” you might
need to polish the turd.
