I be Leaf

Glad I got up early to watch the wall to wall coverage of the NHL trade deadline. I haven’t seen that much suspense since Geraldo Rivera opened up the vault to Al Capone.
In an attempt to keep himself relevant former GM Mike Millbury traded himself to CBC and then CBC sent half his cap hit to TSN for a special to be named later. Like most of Mike’s NHL trades this has a lose/lose feel.
The Calgary Flames were quiet at the trade deadline. I guess when you have slain the Ogre everyone wants to stay and enjoy the spoils.

The NBA doesn’t so much have a trade deadline as a buyout line-up. If this was Wall Street the number of buyouts happening would be reason for a Congressional review.
A group in Texas is attempting to reinstate the use of spanking for severe schoolyard behavior thus legalizing the touchdown or homerun celebration at Little League games.

The PGA Match play event from Arizona was delayed when over an inch of snow covered the course the most snow seen in Arizona since that Freightliner tipped over on the intestate from a Mexican drug run. The toughest part of playing in the snow is keeping your balls warm.
State Farm Insurance is dropping its sponsorship of an LPG event. In a statement an actuary reported “like a good neighbor State Farm will neither a borrower nor a lender be”.

The RCMP is ordering data shredding equipment to destroy hard drives and storage devises. The RCMP feel they are better able to protect the identity of NHL players who are charged with offenses if they can immediately destroy the evidence.

Libyan leader Moammar Gadhafi insisted to reporters that Libyans love him and would lay down their lives for him. He then went on to say his people love him like NHL fans adore Gary Bettman.

5 members of Cuba’s nation ballet company defected while in Montreal. The dancers say they say what could be when they went to a Montreal Canadians game and saw you don’t have to be big and strong to play in the NHL.

A Hospital in BC was forced to use a Tim Horton’s for patients when they ran out of room. Usually a place named after an NHL tough guy defenseman is more comfortable doubling as a dental office.

An autopsy study of Bob Proberts brain revealed he had degenerative brain injuries which may have been a contributing factor in his early death. A spokesman for the NHL say it is sad but with new rules they can’t see how the NHL can be blamed for incidents in the future. They are concerned about the number of coaches banging their heads on the wall trying to figure out the new rules but it’s a small price to pay.

It looks like the NFL owners and players are headed towards a shutdown of next year’s season. A spokesman for NFL fans was surprisingly calm saying once the 2 minute warning is sounded fans are sure Payton Manning will march down the labour field and get the win.

Top 5 signs the Maple Leafs are in the playoff hunt
# 5 Stanley cup t-shirts and hats being printed
# 4 Brian Burke now says making playoffs part of his grand plan
# 3 Boston upset their 1st round pick is getting later and later
# 2 Players were recently fitted for Stanley Cup rings
And the #1 sign the Maple Leafs are in the playoff hunt…
Don Cherry has been updated from annoying to insufferable