Tossing rookies under the bus

2011 NFL Labour Lockout/ Lawsuits/ Deal/Agreement/Capitulation Highlights
After tying up negotiations with a lawsuit QB’s from the plaintiffs may initially be reluctant to take to the field and 15 yards is probably not enough of a penalty for roughing the passer

The biggest haircut was to the service industry where the price of priceless hair has remained like the chemicals they use… stagnant.

Rookies were shown how easy negotiations can be with NFL owners creating an unusually small revenue stream for sycophants, knob polishers and agents. What the rookies learned was to hire a lawyer and they will do it all.

Most segments of the sycophant industry are reporting huge decreases year over year. The new labour deal creates an amendment to the contract binding future litigants to a trickled on style of arbitration. That’s where the ones with money, owners, piss on the pile of money in question, spend it and eventually everyone will touch some of the money. Not a trickle down model more a tinkled on theory.

The contract has resulted in a new locker-room taunt for NFL rookies. “Hope you got a lot of guaranteed money”. This replaces the previous chant to an NFL rookie “You’re paying”.

Randy Moss retired and as a person who satirizes professional sport I thought “finally!” As a joke creator he was unparalleled. Who can write funnier shit than the stuff that came out of his mouth?

Often traded DL Albert Haynsworth reported for training camp and was asked how he was dealing with putting on different colors again, to which he replied I want to go back to McDonalds.

Payton Manning gave up $2 million a year to play in Indianapolis for the Colts. A survey among retired QB’s revealed, when asked if they would have considered giving up $2 million to play for a former team, revealed the number 1 response was “When was that?” Compared to giving up your health, memory and hope a couple of million isn’t that big a deal.

The NFL is trying to counteract the popularity of gangstra/guns messages of many of the players. Commissioner Roger Gödel has a new Yutube he hopes will go viral titled Drive by Moneying in which he tries to smother the Urban demographic with advertising glorifying the violence making money while driving out of Town, with the money and returning in 2 weeks for more. I think the director is Ludacris… or some crisis.

Did Chris Chelios get elected to the USA Hockey Hall of Fame as a player or an inventor?

The movie Planet of the Apes is origins take on a genetically and pharmacologically enhanced Primates flick from the ‘70’s. The Primates then form together creating a super species and is based on actual stories from College Football Try-Outs.

A disturbing new fad is the so called “flashrob” where people get together on social media sites and mob a store to rob it. Crime experts see it as a combination of “flashmobs” from social media and free agency in that the mobs go where there is money, owners are powerless to prevent them from getting everything and for the paying customer, it will take a while to re-stock the shelves.

Chad Ochocinco says he could beat Canadian MMA star Georges St. Pierre in a fight, but I’m guessing if Chad got into the ring at the end he would be calling himself OUCHocinco.

Alex Rodriguez is being investigated by the MLB after allegations he has been involved in underground poker games. The evidence came to light when MLB was shown pictures of Alex constantly walking around without a top leading to speculation he is losing his shirt. Are we really surprised Alex is being investigated for poke her?


The NDP is being criticized for appointing a former member of a separatist party to be their interim leader. To me the critique is overdone I mean if LeBron can take his talent to South Beach why should party leaders be held to a different standard in Quebec? Politics is all a game there.


Big shout out to Edward Kay who was a driving force in creating The Heart of Laughter featuring some confused comedy teacher. Edward had his children’s show, Jimmy Two Shoes, nominated for a Gemini Award… Go Edward! Can’t wait to see you in a Tux!