Retire or fire

Man U striker Wayne Rooney says he wants out of his lifelong relationship and is looking to play the field, he also wants to play soccer somewhere else.

After getting into a fight with his girlfriends father NY Mets pitcher K-Rod has forfeited $3 million in salary for his discretion. Asked why he hit him K-Rod said he was only trying to brush him off his home plate.

The Tour De France route was unveiled for next year and in a surprising turn will no longer schedule pit stops at Lourdes but will still test for holy water.

France is reeling with riots protesting an increase in the retirement age. In a show of support Montreal Canadians fans agreed to join the protest by throwing bricks at store fronts and setting fire to police cars during non game nights.

The French are rioting over proposed legislation calling for an increase in the retirement age. Protesters are furious with the NFL as well saying they should set an example and force Brett Favre to retire.

Google is being chastised by the Canadian Government for the way its search engine violates privacy. In particular they have found that despite repeated requests when searching for great hockey in the search engine it still list the Maple Leafs, Oilers and Flames.

A prisoner in Canada has won the right to get more meat in his sandwiches. After reviewing the policy the CFL players association says they will challenge the per diem amount given to their players calling it cruel and unusual.

The Canadian Transportation Agency has ruled Air Canada must provide nut free flights thus disrupting the travel plans of Calgary Stampeders Nik Lewis

President Obama will appear on the TV show Mythbusters in an attempt to explain the correlation with hitting a 3 point shot to winning the Presidency

Good to see Barry Bonds at the San Francisco Giants game and even more impressive he is able to take off his hat. It is nice to see someone with his accomplishments retire and not get a big head over them.

The Canadian comedy awards are being questioned when not a single Toronto sports team won for funniest performance by a cast or ensemble. At the very least the Leafs should have been nominated for a lifetime achievement award.

The Mayo Clinic in Boston is hosting a conference on concussions with input from hockey and football teams. Baseball will be represented by former President and Texas Rangers owner George Bush as they feel a head injury would explain a lot.
The United Kingdom is reeling after severe cuts were implemented to try and get their deficit under control. The cuts affect everyone and even Prince Charles will have to let go some of his groomsmen forcing him to walk Camilla by himself.

California held its annual earthquake prevention day which was oddly timed to coincide with the SF Giants shaking the baseball world with their performance.