Babies Unlimited

The trial of Barry Bonds took an interesting turn when prosecutors had chemists try to match his piss while defending council engaged in a pissing match.

Manchester United forward Wayne Rooney was penalized 2 games for swearing after scoring a goal. If the rule was applied to other sports some NHL players would receive the death penalty.

Turned on the NCAA College Basketball final but must have accidentally gotten the renovation channel as all I saw were players tossing up bricks. With scoring like that in College you have to feel sorry for the next batch of NBA groupies. You know the game was boring when Tiger Woods was yelling “In the hole”.

Green Party Leader Elizabeth May is outraged she won’t be allowed to participate in the TV debate with the other leaders. The broadcasters agreed parties must have at least one seat to join in the debate enraging May who said she has a million votes. The cry was taken up by NFL fans who say they have 50 million supporters yet they are not allowed in contract negotiations to save the season.

Top 5 signs it’s almost playoff time in the NHL
# 5 Leafs are making a run
# 4 San Jose sent out their apologies for an early exit to fans
# 3 Edmonton excited to get a new punter for the Eskimos
# 2 Quebec demanding Alberta send money for riot and riot control equipment
# 1 Phoenix Coyotes say sale of club is “eminent”

A study out of the US says women with 2 or more children have different fathers for the children 25% of the time. The statistic goes up in Cities where there is an NBA franchise.

It must be a lingering holdover from being owned by Disney but the Anaheim Duck sure get a lot of Mickey Mouse calls from officials both for and against them.

The NDP, Liberals and Conservatives have all decided not to campaign in Calgary despite the City being the 4th largest in Canada. The leaders say it is common practice to ignore loyal voters saying crediting the idea from watching how Gary Bettman treats Canadian hockey fans.

The Green Party says it will be fiscally prudent and only increase taxes on the oilsands of Alberta. This is known as the Harold Ballard approach to governing named after the late Toronto Maple Leafs owner who sucked all the money out of the team and then did nothing with it .

10 days after the earthquake destroyed nuclear reactors in Japan the Tokyo Electric Power Company submitted plans for new reactors. In a related story the Ottawa Senators management and coaches will meet this week to plan next year’s team.

Telus say they will have the 1st 4G network in Canada by 2012 a claim contested by the CFL who say they have had a network of players making $4G for years.

A Florida civil liberties group upset at government intervention is advising women to incorporate their uteruses to protect them. The resulting rush to become a company has put a run on the names NY Jets Baby Unlimited, Travis Territory LTD. and The Brady Bunch Inc.

Bloc Quebecois leader Gilles Duceppe is urging voters to reject the Conservatives saying they have to protect Canadian values. I agree remembering with fondness my Dad raising me with stories of how Canadians were a people who demanded separation and if that was not possible blackmailed their neighbors and took pensions for fermenting a treasonous agenda. Duceppe advising Canadians how to vote is like getting Mike Millbury to help select your draft picks and trades.