Masters 3 wqy 3 hole hayride

I wonder if the Gay and Lesbian Alliance have thought of creating an alternative to the Masters Golf tournament. Same name but give a prize of green cardigan.

When Tiger is in the hunt at the Master the voice of the announcers go up in excitement. Come on already get a booth.

Listening to the commentators it was like they were watching their sons get beat up by a bunch young whipper snappers.

They started to replay Tiger missing a putt to show what he should have done. It was like watching Howie Meeker critique Wayne Gretzky with a telestrator.

Watching Tiger is like a commercial for a Bi-Polar medication. Tiger hasn’t had this many ups and down since last Saturday at his annual 3 hole pre Masters 3 way.

Tiger hasn’t been in so much straw since his annual pre-Master 3 hole 3 way hayride.

Tiger hasn’t uttered as many profanities since his annual pre Masters 3 way 3 hole BBQ was cancelled.

Watching Tiger make a charge on Sunday was unusual for his golf standards but according to his mistresses coming from behind isn’t unheard-of.

The US government almost shut down in a dispute centering on Planned Parenthood. The last large organization to almost shut down due to reproduction issues was the NY Jets.

Jason Day had a shot that averages 340 yards off the tee. The only person known to be longer off the tee was Milton Berle.

Barry Bonds personal trainer is a key witness to the trial over his lying over steroid use. The shopper says she was willing to overlook his being injected with drugs but buying a new hat every week drove her batty.

Edmonton politicians want taxpayers in Alberta to fund a new arena for the Oilers saying it benefits all Albertans. This is true because without the Oilers the Flames start to look uncompetitive.

Upset after her application to attend the leaders debate was denied Green Party leader Elizabeth May invited voters to watch the broadcast with her. This is similar to what Brian Burke of the Toronto Maple Leafs intends to do if his application to include the Leafs in the playoffs is turned down. Burke says the Leafs have millions of fans and must be a part of any national sport playoff for the sake of democracy.

LA Lakers forward Kobe Bryant was in hot water after yelling homophobic slurs during a game this week. The team was incensed saying Kobe has to straighten up.

With the floods in Manitoba becoming severe a call has gone out to Gary Bettman who has shown exceptional skill in sandbagging Winnipeg for years over the return of the Jets.

Iceland has just opened a penis museum which has the largest collection of pricks outside of the Chicago Blackhawks locker room.

There was a scary moment in Calgary when a roof over the dining room of a senior citizens complex collapsed. Officials say the damage could have been worse but most of the Flames had opted out of the optional meal.

Canadian hockey fans should look at the Nashville as they have the kind of team that will remind us of past Stanley Cup contenders like the 2006 Edmonton Oilers, the 2005 Calgary Flames and the 1942 Toronto Maple Leafs.