5-A-Hole

Tough week for Tiger Woods as his wife is upset he is having affairs, black women are upset he is having affairs with white women and Adam Lambert says he owes him a kiss.

When Tiger went to Australia he received a $3 million appearance fee which he quickly paid to one of his hook-ups as a disappearance fee.

Oprah has made an offer to Tiger to clear the air on her show the 1st woman who wants him on a couch in a vertical position

After 54 years on air the Soap Opera “As the World Turns” has been cancelled. A spokesman says they just can’t compete with the story line Tiger is weaving

Mental health experts think Tiger may suffer from a rare form of sex addiction that causes men who are rich and powerful to act out. Most women say it’s just par for the course.

I asked my GF if I was a sex addict and she said I didn’t have enough money

Philadelphia Flyers goalie Ray Emery will have abdominal surgery which is weird because I thought it was Ottawa Senator fans that couldn’t stomach him

New York Islanders defenceman Brendan Witt was hit by a car just before a game in Philadelphia. The driver of the car says he was aiming for Islanders goalie Martin Biron to show his disgust at how he played for the Flyers last year but went through the 5-hole and got Brendan instead.

Hitachi has developed technology to identify people from the veins in their fingers, which is slightly different from Detroit Lions fans who are easily recognized by the veins in their forehead.

The technology is not new as most wives use the middle finger to identify when they have watched enough football

Police in Vancouver have seized a cache of ecstasy pills with the Olympic logo on them. Officials with the IOC were livid and immediately demanded a percentage from all the drugs.

The pills differ from the ones with the Toronto Maple Leaf logo on them which are called agony.