Affair and Reasonable Mistake

The MLB Players have agreed to a new drug testing deal which would not penalize any past conduct and has been hailed by dictators everywhere as fair and compassionate.

Hillary Clinton was so upset Dancia Patrick was knocked out of the Indianapolis 500 calling it just another example of a vast left turn conspiracy.

Canadians have a stake in the Phoenix Lanner on Mars with equipment to determine the weather, the potential of drinkable water and possibly a GM for the Toronto Maple Leafs.

WTA player Ashley Harkleroad has agreed to pose in Playboy after having a cyst removed from her ovaries. In a related story Boston Bruins forward Phil Kessel turned down the opportunity to pose for Playgirl after he had a testicle removed.

Frenchman Michel Fournier is attempting to free fall from the stratosphere breaking the record set by the 2007 NY Mets.

Haile Gebrselassie ran the fastest 10,000 meters in four years narrowly beating out 2 rioters from a Montreal Canadians playoff win.

Robbie Knievel successfully jumped over 24 delivery trucks which thanks to the recession were empty and available.

The death of former Chicago Cubs pitcher Geremi Gonzalez shows the odds of the Cubs winning the World Series is still greater than being struck by lightning.

Packman Jones paid off a $20,000 gambling debt to a Los Vegas Casino or as Charles Barkley called it chump change.

The irony is Jones made the bet on Barkley not paying his debt.

If you ask the managers of the Mets and Yankees New York really is the City that never sleeps.

I can hardly wait for the start of Sex in the City or as it is sometimes referred to the NBA Finals.

Toronto Argonaut quarterback Damon Allen is retiring saying he wants to quit while he is still young enough to join the Detroit Red Wings on the blue line.

The Calgary Vipers of the Golden Baseball League traded a pitcher to the Laredo Broncos for 10 Prairie Stick Maple bats a deal which cleared deadwood from both teams.

Roger Clemens is adding a claim of emotional distress against his former trainer Brian McNamee saying he has suffered wild mood swings, abnormal weight gain and steroid like symptoms.

Cincinnati Red outfielder Jay Bruce had 3 hits in his first game tying a record for Cincinnati draft picks not using a gun.

Former tennis great Yannick Noah is defending his son Chicago Bulls player Joakim over charges of marijuana possession saying it was all a mistake as he thought he had been traded to the Dallas Mavericks.

After seeing the pitch conditions for the Champions Cup I’m taking Russia for the 2008 Euro as they seem to know how to level the playing field.

Jennifer Jones will be curling against the men in the Casino Rama Skins Game although since it is her first time she doesn’t get to be shirts.

After Foreign Affairs Minister Maxine Bernier was sacked because he left sensitive documents at an ex-girlfriend’s apartment Indiana Pacers forward Malik Sealy was quick to say it could happen to anyone.

Listening to the whole story you would think Maxine was overqualified to handle affairs.

Farm incomes across Canada grew last year especially in canola for Alberta, barley hops for BC and watermelons for Saskatchewan.

After Pittsburgh Penguins Gary Roberts sucker punched an injured Johann Franzen you have to wonder who is suffering post concussion symptoms.