June 14 2007

After removing 5000 trees from the Oakmont Country Club USGA officials say the decision was clear cut. According to new guidelines global warming will now be par for the course.

After hearing Samson Sor Siriporn was released from prison for winning the female WBC light heavy weight championship Paris Hilton is said to be hitting the speed bags. Representatives of Ms. Hilton say she will announce her intentions once she has chosen the appropriate belt and purse.

The Calgary Flames have signed Mike Keenan to coach the squad this year ruling out a return of both Jim Playfair and fair play. Sources close to Keenan were unavailable for comment as according to Keenan, no one comes close to him.

Three “unnamed” cyclists tested positive for steroids yesterday. Officials say they won’t release their names until they have officially won the Tour de France.

David Beckhams wife Posh has filmed a reality show on the couples move to America. The show will follow Posh as she renovates her new home with the tentative title “Spend it like Beckham”.