Russian to Blame

The Russian paper Pravda is accusing Team Canada of doping saying “Were they on drugs the day they beat Russia?” A spokesman for Team Canada was not surprised by the allegations as they have so much experience doping athletes they can’t help but be suspicious.

A report for the Saskatchewan Roughriders say a domed stadium will cost $380 million but they are waiting for someone to add up the numbers again just to be safe.

Top 5 signs Russia is unhappy with their Olympic results
# 5 Athletes get a 4 month layover in Siberia on the way to Moscow
# 4 Biathletes new training schedule involves coaches with guns
# 3 Water bottles now filled with water instead of vodka
# 2 New ski jump ramp ends at a cliff
# 1 Sport officials say they need better drugs to catch up with competition

John Terry says he wasn’t upset Wayne Bridge didn’t shake his hand as his girlfriend has shaken her booty for him earlier

NASA says they have discovered ice on the dark side of the moon. The findings will be verified by Russia when they send the national hockey team to train for the next Olympics

Devoting a full day of your network to the NHL trade deadline...tens of thousands of dollars, make-up, hair dye and teeth whitener for the experts..... thousands of dollars... coffee and donuts hundreds of dollars... watching pundits spend hours debating if a 7th defenseman is worth a 4th or 5th round pick... priceless

After the PM of Russia demanded they resign the head of the Olympic Committee complied saying he wanted to spend more time with his family once they are released

Tiger Woods was released from sex therapy and quickly denied reports he was at a swingers club saying he was swinging a club

In attempt to burnish his image again Tiger has hired Olympic performer Catherine O’hara to perform his next round of apologies

The bigger Olympic story... Sidney Crosby's stick or William Shatner’s shtick... discuss

In light of the patriotism shown during the Olympics the Government wants to change the lyrics to O Canada but first have to find a hockey line that rhymes with kicked USA’s ass...

I want to be an Olympic athlete so I’m off to McDonalds to start my training

The Government is looking at ways to reduce the cost of texting when they discovered the cost of sending the message “We won hockey Gold!!!” really was priceless

Chad Ochocinco is defending his latest video of him running through a park naked saying it’s part of his application for Dangling with the Stars

The video was just a miscommunication says Chad. When he talked to the producers of Dancing with the Stars they wanted him to bring out his quirky side saying... show us you’re nuts

A poll showed 40% of BC residents say they will never experience a high like the Olympics with the rest saying it will take until their crops dry