With the acquittal of Jr. Hockey coach David Frost I guess players will still be able to practice 3 on 1’s after hours.
Despite not being a fan Sportsnet paid tribute to owner Ted Rogers when he passed away when one of the Connected Sports Babes pretended he was more than just a creepy old rich man.
Calgary Flames Jerome Iginla is being sued by a home builder who knows his case is flimsy but feels he needs to take a shot anyway. His lead witness is Sean Avery.
The case is expected to go before the Crown as soon as Mike Holmes can render his opinion.
The builder doesn’t believe he can receive a fair trial in Calgary because of the celebrity of Iginla and has asked the judge to move the trial to a neutral site that has no NHL roots like the United States.
NY Knicks Stephane Marbury refused to go to work against Detroit despite being paid $20 million a year. Marbury says he is showing solidarity for auto workers who refuse to take a pay cut.
Everyone complains how hard it is on Wall Street and Main Street but it appears from all the sports athletes going nuts it can’t be that good on Easy Street either.
The only group that wanted Sean Avery to play after his comments were his teammates. They felt robbed of the potential entertainment value it would have provided the road trip.
I know it’s early in the Avery era, but my money is on drugs as the disease causing most of it in the autobiographical autopsy that is sure to be released in a few years... although you can never toss out mental illness, family tragedy or syphilis.
Most Hockey fans will overlook his comments although they will never forgive him for taking the job at Vogue.
When asked if the comments were just publicity stunts Tampa Bay Lightning head coach Rick Tochett said hopefully and set the line at 2:1.
When told the words were delivered in the heart of Conservative support in Calgary a spokesperson for Quebec artists was quoted as saying “Bravo”.
Avery has hit all the right notes by not only inflaming women and inciting men but by posing as an ice skating deadman he has aroused the interest of teenage Zombie enthusiasts.
Isn’t having the fate of the Parliament of Canada in the hands of a Haitian born Governor General about the same as Gary Bettman looking out for the best interests of hockey?
Top 3 Signs your girlfriend hates hockey
# 3 Tore down your Sean Avery poster and replaced it with one of Lorena Bobbit
# 2 Sighs every time you tell her hockey is on TV
# 1 Is constantly asking “How come you don’t make as much as Jerome?”
The Toronto Raptors fired head coach Sam Mitchell and in an attempt to re-create other Toronto teams who have hired successful personnel from the past are trying to reincarnate James Nasmith.
There were some similarities between the shootings in Mumbai India and Plaxico Burris. The people in India mediated afterward while those in the Club medicated while it was going on.
NY is defiantly a different market because if you were receiving treatment for a hamstring injury in Canada chance are someone would have noticed the gun going off.
When I first heard a professional athlete shot off his gun in a club I naturally assumed Travis Henry was going to be a father again.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Disrespect Yourself
Part of Saskatchewan was lit up by an event that was described as a meteorite, comet or Michael Bishop flaming out.
The event lit up Saskatchewan almost as much as last year’s Grey Cup win.
It looks like President elect Obama is creating a “team of rivals” to help him during the economic difficulties or as MLSE calls it a Board meeting.
With the economy spiralling down MLB teams are reluctant to give contracts of over $100 million unless the term is less than 4 years.
Two of Cuba’s top baseball players were left off the team’s roster for the upcoming World Series of Baseball with sources saying they had planned to defect. Meanwhile many of Canada’s best players have been left off the roster because they were defective.
After QB Henry Burris complained over getting beat out for league MVP coach John Hufnagel performed a really inspiring pre-game speech exhorting the team to win one for the griper.
Top 3 signs your Grey Cup Champion team is being disrespected
# 3 Players have to wait in line for admission to Club Super Sex
# 2 During Grey Cup parade they make you wear a stupid hat
# 1 Half of the fans greeting you at the airport are wearing Saskatchewan Roughrider jerseys
With GM discontinuing its sponsorship with Tiger Woods they now have no Tiger but are still in the tank.
43 year old Claude Lemieux has signed a contract to play with the San Jose Sharks and Chris Chelios is looking forward to hazing the new rookie.
Tom Cruise’s daughter Suri was named the most powerful toddler by Forbes magazine to which Travis Henry replied quantity should count for something.
Cleveland Browns QB Brady Quinn is out for the rest of the year with a broken index finger in an injury sustained while he was running around Derek Anderson saying he is # 1.
After throwing 7 interceptions in his past 2 games Donovan McNab feels he is still capable of playing and has talked to the Saskatchewan Roughriders about a possible deal.
The Conservative Government has decided against a bailout of the auto industry saying they don’t want to throw good money after bad, or as the Maple Leafs call it free agency.
The CFL is upset with the Montreal Canadians for having a retirement ceremony featuring Patrick Roy on Grey Cup weekend and have asked the Maple Leafs to schedule their coronation of Brian Burke for after the game has ended.
If they retired the actual jersey Patrick Roy wore there would be no room for future awards.
Formula 1 asked Montreal for $150 million to guarantee future races or as the Big 3 auto makers call it “chump change”.
Chad (Ocho Cinco) Johnson was deactivated from the Cincinnati Bengals line-up meaning #85 got 86’d.
Chad says he accidentally slept in as compared to most games when he was sleep walking.
It was reported Tony Romo took a homeless man to a movie called Role Model... how perfect is that?
Quebec voters have stuffed the ballot box for the NHL All Star game the first time Quebec has determined the outcome of an election since October.
A court will hear arguments the federal government illegally seized samples of urine from MLB teams and if they are successful baseball can still claim they have no drug problems.
The Republicans are blaming Barack Obama for the state of the economy which is like blaming Brian Burke for the play of the Leafs.
Michael Bishop knew he was having a bad game but when he tried to throw in the towel it was knocked down by the water boy.
With the economy tanking Governments are looking at infrastructure spending to bolster employment with major spending planned for building roads, bridges and the Toronto Maple Leafs.
Responding to the economic crisis the NFL will reduce the price of Super Bowl tickets from an arm and a leg to a leg with an option on the arm later.
Top 3 signs your attendance numbers have been padded
# 3 Person who announces a full house is able to do it without a microphone
# 2 Instead of a head count team now employing a limb count
# 1 Numbers are calculated by former Wall Street executives
The event lit up Saskatchewan almost as much as last year’s Grey Cup win.
It looks like President elect Obama is creating a “team of rivals” to help him during the economic difficulties or as MLSE calls it a Board meeting.
With the economy spiralling down MLB teams are reluctant to give contracts of over $100 million unless the term is less than 4 years.
Two of Cuba’s top baseball players were left off the team’s roster for the upcoming World Series of Baseball with sources saying they had planned to defect. Meanwhile many of Canada’s best players have been left off the roster because they were defective.
After QB Henry Burris complained over getting beat out for league MVP coach John Hufnagel performed a really inspiring pre-game speech exhorting the team to win one for the griper.
Top 3 signs your Grey Cup Champion team is being disrespected
# 3 Players have to wait in line for admission to Club Super Sex
# 2 During Grey Cup parade they make you wear a stupid hat
# 1 Half of the fans greeting you at the airport are wearing Saskatchewan Roughrider jerseys
With GM discontinuing its sponsorship with Tiger Woods they now have no Tiger but are still in the tank.
43 year old Claude Lemieux has signed a contract to play with the San Jose Sharks and Chris Chelios is looking forward to hazing the new rookie.
Tom Cruise’s daughter Suri was named the most powerful toddler by Forbes magazine to which Travis Henry replied quantity should count for something.
Cleveland Browns QB Brady Quinn is out for the rest of the year with a broken index finger in an injury sustained while he was running around Derek Anderson saying he is # 1.
After throwing 7 interceptions in his past 2 games Donovan McNab feels he is still capable of playing and has talked to the Saskatchewan Roughriders about a possible deal.
The Conservative Government has decided against a bailout of the auto industry saying they don’t want to throw good money after bad, or as the Maple Leafs call it free agency.
The CFL is upset with the Montreal Canadians for having a retirement ceremony featuring Patrick Roy on Grey Cup weekend and have asked the Maple Leafs to schedule their coronation of Brian Burke for after the game has ended.
If they retired the actual jersey Patrick Roy wore there would be no room for future awards.
Formula 1 asked Montreal for $150 million to guarantee future races or as the Big 3 auto makers call it “chump change”.
Chad (Ocho Cinco) Johnson was deactivated from the Cincinnati Bengals line-up meaning #85 got 86’d.
Chad says he accidentally slept in as compared to most games when he was sleep walking.
It was reported Tony Romo took a homeless man to a movie called Role Model... how perfect is that?
Quebec voters have stuffed the ballot box for the NHL All Star game the first time Quebec has determined the outcome of an election since October.
A court will hear arguments the federal government illegally seized samples of urine from MLB teams and if they are successful baseball can still claim they have no drug problems.
The Republicans are blaming Barack Obama for the state of the economy which is like blaming Brian Burke for the play of the Leafs.
Michael Bishop knew he was having a bad game but when he tried to throw in the towel it was knocked down by the water boy.
With the economy tanking Governments are looking at infrastructure spending to bolster employment with major spending planned for building roads, bridges and the Toronto Maple Leafs.
Responding to the economic crisis the NFL will reduce the price of Super Bowl tickets from an arm and a leg to a leg with an option on the arm later.
Top 3 signs your attendance numbers have been padded
# 3 Person who announces a full house is able to do it without a microphone
# 2 Instead of a head count team now employing a limb count
# 1 Numbers are calculated by former Wall Street executives
Friday, November 7, 2008
Yes We Can!
During the election CNN unveiled a hologram which allows the anchor to see the reporter but walk right through it or as the Detroit Lions call it, the front four.
After 2 consecutive wins with backup Kevin Weekes in net the New Jersey Devils answered the question of their ability to win without Martin Brodeur with “yes we can”.
A-Rod is dating Madonna thus denying NFL quarterbacks the chance to add a cougar to their wildcat offence.
Tickets to the playoff game in Regina sold out in less than 35 minutes thus proving what most women in Saskatchewan know, Roughrider fans are quick to please.
An 18 year old cheerleader from the New England Patriots was dismissed after pictures on her facebook page showed her with a sharpie in her hand beside a passed out man with swastikas on his face. Officials said they are OK with high heels not heil ones.
On a historic day in the US Barry Bonds lawyer asked the court to throw out his charges of lying saying “yes you can”.
Sports Illustrated asked both Barack Obama and John McCain what they thought was the most serious issue in sports and surprisingly they both replied low blows.
Now that Obama has won the Whitehouse they now say the Bradley effect applies to the fact the NY Knicks can only win a championship with white men.
A second man has died after completing the NY marathon but on the bright side he had never been in better shape.
Marion Jones says she took steroids because she didn’t lover herself enough to which Barry Bonds replied it was just another piece of evidence to show I’m innocent.
The St. Louis Blues were undefeated until Sarah Palin dropped a puck for their opening game to which John McCain said “tell me about it”.
Due to the global credit crisis the Right to Play Foundation is being scaled back and will now be called the Right to Pay.
Top 3 Most Popular Sports related Halloween Costumes
# 3 The Travis Henry Fertility Doctor
# 2 The Michael Vick Dog Trainer
# 1 The Gary Bettman Garden Gnome
Winnipeg Blue Bomber Milt Stegal offered a money back guarantee they will win this weekend the first time an athlete has put his money where his mouth is since the last trip to a strip club.
Stephen Ames is defending his Walt Disney World title this year and when asked to pick the toughest hole he mentioned both the one with the windmill and the clown face.
Buffalo has been awarded the 2011 World Jr. Hockey Championships and say they will let Toronto have exhibition and games between Poland and Switzerland.
Kansas City Chief Larry Johnson has been charged with spitting a drink on a girl a charge he is vehemently denying with the explanation being he is a wine connoisseur and she just got in the way.
Bud Selig says he tried to make it fair for everyone during the downpour during the 5th game of the World Series but it’s tough to level the playing field in a waterfall.
Portland Trailblazer Greg Odem lasted 7 minutes before being taken out of the game with another injury and again I missed the bet by taking the over on if he would last 10 minutes.
The red carpet used by Sarah Palin to drop the puck at a St. Louis Blues game ended up injuring the Blues goalie thus increasing the number of people she has hamstrung this year.
I thought most of the injuries Sarah would create would be related to groin pulls.
Which job would you like the least, Commissioner of Baseball after the rules showed the Phillies they really should have won, CEO of the brokerage firm that told you to get out on Monday and later seeing the market gain 1200 points or leader of the Liberal pary?
Top 3 Signs the Baseball game should be called due to rain
# 3 Pitchers spit ball doesn’t have as much movement as the throw back from the catcher
# 2 Umpire uses chest protector to double as flotation device
# 1 Players actually need to stick their hands down pants for warmth
After 2 consecutive wins with backup Kevin Weekes in net the New Jersey Devils answered the question of their ability to win without Martin Brodeur with “yes we can”.
A-Rod is dating Madonna thus denying NFL quarterbacks the chance to add a cougar to their wildcat offence.
Tickets to the playoff game in Regina sold out in less than 35 minutes thus proving what most women in Saskatchewan know, Roughrider fans are quick to please.
An 18 year old cheerleader from the New England Patriots was dismissed after pictures on her facebook page showed her with a sharpie in her hand beside a passed out man with swastikas on his face. Officials said they are OK with high heels not heil ones.
On a historic day in the US Barry Bonds lawyer asked the court to throw out his charges of lying saying “yes you can”.
Sports Illustrated asked both Barack Obama and John McCain what they thought was the most serious issue in sports and surprisingly they both replied low blows.
Now that Obama has won the Whitehouse they now say the Bradley effect applies to the fact the NY Knicks can only win a championship with white men.
A second man has died after completing the NY marathon but on the bright side he had never been in better shape.
Marion Jones says she took steroids because she didn’t lover herself enough to which Barry Bonds replied it was just another piece of evidence to show I’m innocent.
The St. Louis Blues were undefeated until Sarah Palin dropped a puck for their opening game to which John McCain said “tell me about it”.
Due to the global credit crisis the Right to Play Foundation is being scaled back and will now be called the Right to Pay.
Top 3 Most Popular Sports related Halloween Costumes
# 3 The Travis Henry Fertility Doctor
# 2 The Michael Vick Dog Trainer
# 1 The Gary Bettman Garden Gnome
Winnipeg Blue Bomber Milt Stegal offered a money back guarantee they will win this weekend the first time an athlete has put his money where his mouth is since the last trip to a strip club.
Stephen Ames is defending his Walt Disney World title this year and when asked to pick the toughest hole he mentioned both the one with the windmill and the clown face.
Buffalo has been awarded the 2011 World Jr. Hockey Championships and say they will let Toronto have exhibition and games between Poland and Switzerland.
Kansas City Chief Larry Johnson has been charged with spitting a drink on a girl a charge he is vehemently denying with the explanation being he is a wine connoisseur and she just got in the way.
Bud Selig says he tried to make it fair for everyone during the downpour during the 5th game of the World Series but it’s tough to level the playing field in a waterfall.
Portland Trailblazer Greg Odem lasted 7 minutes before being taken out of the game with another injury and again I missed the bet by taking the over on if he would last 10 minutes.
The red carpet used by Sarah Palin to drop the puck at a St. Louis Blues game ended up injuring the Blues goalie thus increasing the number of people she has hamstrung this year.
I thought most of the injuries Sarah would create would be related to groin pulls.
Which job would you like the least, Commissioner of Baseball after the rules showed the Phillies they really should have won, CEO of the brokerage firm that told you to get out on Monday and later seeing the market gain 1200 points or leader of the Liberal pary?
Top 3 Signs the Baseball game should be called due to rain
# 3 Pitchers spit ball doesn’t have as much movement as the throw back from the catcher
# 2 Umpire uses chest protector to double as flotation device
# 1 Players actually need to stick their hands down pants for warmth
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Turn over a couple of new Leafs
After correctly predicting the Roughriders to win the Grey Cup, Giants to win the Super Bowl, Turkey to get into the World Cup Quarter finals and The Rays to win the World Series you would think my pick of St. Louis to win a playoff round is gold.
What I didn’t mention is I had Elizabeth May winning a seat, the stock market reaching new highs and the Riders remaining healthy because of all the nutritious watermelon they eat.
Toronto is in the running for a new NHL franchise and already the speculation is Mats Sundin will be the captain and Brian Burke the GM.
Sundin had a physical prior to starting workouts and as it turns out he may have too much heart to play for the Leafs
The report was quickly denied by Commissioner Gary Bettman who says he still hasn’t ruled out a second team for Nashville.
Sending in someone who is cold and hasn’t faced a shot all game? Isn’t that what the Republicans did with Sarah Palin?
The Calgary Flames had a player assessed 9 minutes in penalties and really I didn’t know having an ugly haircut was worth 2 minutes.
Manchester United is said to be releasing Owen Hargreaves over his injuries and speculation is he might sign with Barcelona, Chelsea or the Roughriders.
Why does it seem like the Riders starting QB was the one that got the last musical chair?
With time off for good behaviour Michael Vick could be out of prison by July just in time for the dog days of summer.
Two Edmonton Oilers were chastised for signing autographs when the promoter was charging $25 each. This is the most heat an Oiler has been given over a signature since Peter Pocklington signed the trade papers for Wayne Gretzky.
Carolina Hurricanes defenseman Mike Commodore is getting flack over a picture of him in his underwear surrounded by $100 bills. Mike says it was all innocent fun as he was doing a celebration dance next to a bunch of nearsighted NBA players.
The Alberta government has raised the deposit on pop and beer bottles with the CFL warning this could ruin the fairness of the league wide salary cap.
Having President Bush host a worldwide summit on the economy is like former Ottawa Renegades owners Bernie and Lonie Glieberman hosting a meeting on creating a successful sports franchise.
London is having trouble getting the financing to build the athletes housing for the 2012 Olympics and it may turn out they will copy China and create space out of actual bird nests.
Gary Bettman says the outdoor game in Chicago at Wrigley Field will sell out unless the financial collapse gums up the works.
Quarterback Brett Favre has denied tampering saying he only talked to the Detroit Lions coach to set up a hunting trip not discuss Green Bays shotfun offence.
F-1 head Bernie Ecclestone says Montreal still owes them money from past races to which the rest of Canada replied get in line.
What I didn’t mention is I had Elizabeth May winning a seat, the stock market reaching new highs and the Riders remaining healthy because of all the nutritious watermelon they eat.
Toronto is in the running for a new NHL franchise and already the speculation is Mats Sundin will be the captain and Brian Burke the GM.
Sundin had a physical prior to starting workouts and as it turns out he may have too much heart to play for the Leafs
The report was quickly denied by Commissioner Gary Bettman who says he still hasn’t ruled out a second team for Nashville.
Sending in someone who is cold and hasn’t faced a shot all game? Isn’t that what the Republicans did with Sarah Palin?
The Calgary Flames had a player assessed 9 minutes in penalties and really I didn’t know having an ugly haircut was worth 2 minutes.
Manchester United is said to be releasing Owen Hargreaves over his injuries and speculation is he might sign with Barcelona, Chelsea or the Roughriders.
Why does it seem like the Riders starting QB was the one that got the last musical chair?
With time off for good behaviour Michael Vick could be out of prison by July just in time for the dog days of summer.
Two Edmonton Oilers were chastised for signing autographs when the promoter was charging $25 each. This is the most heat an Oiler has been given over a signature since Peter Pocklington signed the trade papers for Wayne Gretzky.
Carolina Hurricanes defenseman Mike Commodore is getting flack over a picture of him in his underwear surrounded by $100 bills. Mike says it was all innocent fun as he was doing a celebration dance next to a bunch of nearsighted NBA players.
The Alberta government has raised the deposit on pop and beer bottles with the CFL warning this could ruin the fairness of the league wide salary cap.
Having President Bush host a worldwide summit on the economy is like former Ottawa Renegades owners Bernie and Lonie Glieberman hosting a meeting on creating a successful sports franchise.
London is having trouble getting the financing to build the athletes housing for the 2012 Olympics and it may turn out they will copy China and create space out of actual bird nests.
Gary Bettman says the outdoor game in Chicago at Wrigley Field will sell out unless the financial collapse gums up the works.
Quarterback Brett Favre has denied tampering saying he only talked to the Detroit Lions coach to set up a hunting trip not discuss Green Bays shotfun offence.
F-1 head Bernie Ecclestone says Montreal still owes them money from past races to which the rest of Canada replied get in line.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Deadman Singing!
With Elizabeth May being shut out of seats and the Roughriders getting crushed by the Stampeders I guess Kermit was right, it’s not easy being Green.
The CFL has announced its entertainment for the Grey Cup halftime show with BC band Theory of a Deadman narrowly edging out Hamilton’s Theory of a Losing Season.
I thought Theory of a Deadman was Professor Stephane Dion’s Green Shift platform.
Kentucky Derby and Preakness winner Big Brown injured his foot during a workout and will now be retired to stud. His owners hope he will soon be producing sires and in an effort to get him on the right track hired Travis Henry as his groom.
According to Jay Leno Sarah Palin shouldn’t be upset she was booed when she dropped the puck in Philadelphia Flyers home opener because their fans are so tough they jeer the Zamboni driver if he makes a bad turn.
I know Sarah calls herself a hockey mom but the way she has been attacking Obama it would have been more appropriate to let her kick the opening ball in an Eagles game.
Toronto Maple Leaf Ryan Hollweg says he is being picked on after his third hitting from behind penalty and wishes referees would address the real problem Steve Downey.
The IOC says the 300 drug tests from the Beijing Olympics that went missing have been found and surprisingly they were in Joe the Plumbers truck.
A report says nearly 1 in 10 athletes at the Olympics were injured or as the Saskatchewan Roughriders call it an average practice.
Denis Savard was fired by the Chicago Blackhawks after opening the season 3-1 or as the Toronto Maple Leafs call it a reason to offer an extension.
President Bush had the Detroit Red Wings at the White House in celebration of their Stanley Cup win. The meeting became awkward when Bush asked some of the players for cab fare at the end.
France says they will not sponsor a Grand Prix race next year opening the door for Montreal if they can get the Federal Government to agree speeding dangerously is a part of Quebec culture.
The Anaheim Ducks have started the season losing their first 4 games prompting team officials to accuse GM Brian Burke of preparing to take over the Maple Leafs.
FIA president Max Mosley says he will cut costs next year and supports say if anyone is good at belt tightening, it’s Max.
Seeing the success of the Blue Jays, Leafs and Argos by hiring executives from the past Toronto today fired Mayor David Miller and replaced him with Mel Lastman.
The CFL has announced its entertainment for the Grey Cup halftime show with BC band Theory of a Deadman narrowly edging out Hamilton’s Theory of a Losing Season.
I thought Theory of a Deadman was Professor Stephane Dion’s Green Shift platform.
Kentucky Derby and Preakness winner Big Brown injured his foot during a workout and will now be retired to stud. His owners hope he will soon be producing sires and in an effort to get him on the right track hired Travis Henry as his groom.
According to Jay Leno Sarah Palin shouldn’t be upset she was booed when she dropped the puck in Philadelphia Flyers home opener because their fans are so tough they jeer the Zamboni driver if he makes a bad turn.
I know Sarah calls herself a hockey mom but the way she has been attacking Obama it would have been more appropriate to let her kick the opening ball in an Eagles game.
Toronto Maple Leaf Ryan Hollweg says he is being picked on after his third hitting from behind penalty and wishes referees would address the real problem Steve Downey.
The IOC says the 300 drug tests from the Beijing Olympics that went missing have been found and surprisingly they were in Joe the Plumbers truck.
A report says nearly 1 in 10 athletes at the Olympics were injured or as the Saskatchewan Roughriders call it an average practice.
Denis Savard was fired by the Chicago Blackhawks after opening the season 3-1 or as the Toronto Maple Leafs call it a reason to offer an extension.
President Bush had the Detroit Red Wings at the White House in celebration of their Stanley Cup win. The meeting became awkward when Bush asked some of the players for cab fare at the end.
France says they will not sponsor a Grand Prix race next year opening the door for Montreal if they can get the Federal Government to agree speeding dangerously is a part of Quebec culture.
The Anaheim Ducks have started the season losing their first 4 games prompting team officials to accuse GM Brian Burke of preparing to take over the Maple Leafs.
FIA president Max Mosley says he will cut costs next year and supports say if anyone is good at belt tightening, it’s Max.
Seeing the success of the Blue Jays, Leafs and Argos by hiring executives from the past Toronto today fired Mayor David Miller and replaced him with Mel Lastman.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Baby Steps
Soccer team Chelsea has recruited a 12 year old to play for the team saying they hope to emulate the success of China.
Former Detroit Lion Eric Hipple says he suffered from clinical depression and with advancements in medical science he hopes current Lions fans will seek help.
The current economic meltdown has forced the Canadian Olympic committee to change the name of the Own the Podium program to the heavily financed podium program.
A woman has pleaded not guilty to stalking LA Lakers forward Luke Walton saying she was just trying to post up to him.
The Formula 1 race for Montreal has been canceled with organizers saying the teams needs a vacation from their grueling schedule. In its place the City of Montreal will remove speed limits for the early morning commute.
The F-1 race brings in $100 million to the Montreal economy which the Liberals say they will replace with a Green Shift race. The object will be to race to Ottawa and ask for more money.
The International Olympic Committee will re-test hundreds of blood samples from Olympic athletes who competed in China. Sources say they are looking for traces of melamine, lead and ginseng.
The World anti-doping agency has removed a hair growth drug from the banned drug list when it was shown the only thing it masks is insecurity.
The drug was thought to be a performance enhancer but it turned out to be a bald faced lie.
Packman Jones was involved in an altercation with his personal bodyguard which is like having the offensive line sack their own quarterback.
Jones says he was only trying to prevent his guard from preventing him from doing something stupid.
Sarah Palin will drop the puck in the home opener for the Philadelphia Flyers the first time a pit-bull has been on the team with lipstick.
Sarah says she is very familiar with hockey as her daughter’s boyfriend is quite a scorer.
Players with the French soccer team Olympique Marseille were forced to pass the hat when Exxon refused the pilots credit card for their flight home. Officials believe this is the first time a sports team has had to take a collection for leaving a strip without seeing clothes being removed.
Former NBA great Larry Bird won a lawsuit allowing him the right to use the phrase “The Legend of French Lick” opening the door for Marv Albert to use the phrase “Legend of the French Tickler”.
Top 3 signs your NHL team may not make the playoffs
# 3 Signed Chris Chelios to kick start the youth movement
# 2 Your top rookie was the MVP in the Zimbabwe Jr. league
# 1 Players demand separate rooms for team bonding trip
Sean Avery said in an interview he could market the NHL better than the officials in charge but when asked to back up his words hid behind a model from Vogue.
Avery says the NHL needs to create more hero and villain plotlines which will create the type of legitimacy seen in professional wrestling.
Top 3 Sean Avery suggestions to market the NHL
# 3 Scrap new water resistant uniforms in favour of chiffon
# 2 Focus less on the players skill and more on his GQ rating
# 1 Create a new magazine called “A” featuring him on the cover each month
My fearless predictions for the coming NHL season have Pittsburgh beating Calgary in the Stanley Cup, Toronto making the playoffs and Nashville players being asked to pay for their own sticks.
The financial crisis has NHL owners telling players they might have to tighten their cups.
With former Nashville owner Boots Del Biaggio filing for bankruptcy the only luxury box of interest is the one he might end up living in.
The NHL expanding to Europe instead of Canada is like putting your money into real estate instead of a mattress.
The financial turmoil may take a toll on sports journalism with the best looking female talking heads being courted by investment TV.
Sportsnet turns 10 this year and in honour of the event announcers are sporting retro haircuts.
The Edmonton Oilers were in Jasper for a bonding retreat and spent the time riding bikes, hiking and looking for a bar that wouldn’t ask for ID’s.
The stock market crash has affected the NBA with strip clubs complaining the rain has dwindled to a drizzle.
Former Detroit Lion Eric Hipple says he suffered from clinical depression and with advancements in medical science he hopes current Lions fans will seek help.
The current economic meltdown has forced the Canadian Olympic committee to change the name of the Own the Podium program to the heavily financed podium program.
A woman has pleaded not guilty to stalking LA Lakers forward Luke Walton saying she was just trying to post up to him.
The Formula 1 race for Montreal has been canceled with organizers saying the teams needs a vacation from their grueling schedule. In its place the City of Montreal will remove speed limits for the early morning commute.
The F-1 race brings in $100 million to the Montreal economy which the Liberals say they will replace with a Green Shift race. The object will be to race to Ottawa and ask for more money.
The International Olympic Committee will re-test hundreds of blood samples from Olympic athletes who competed in China. Sources say they are looking for traces of melamine, lead and ginseng.
The World anti-doping agency has removed a hair growth drug from the banned drug list when it was shown the only thing it masks is insecurity.
The drug was thought to be a performance enhancer but it turned out to be a bald faced lie.
Packman Jones was involved in an altercation with his personal bodyguard which is like having the offensive line sack their own quarterback.
Jones says he was only trying to prevent his guard from preventing him from doing something stupid.
Sarah Palin will drop the puck in the home opener for the Philadelphia Flyers the first time a pit-bull has been on the team with lipstick.
Sarah says she is very familiar with hockey as her daughter’s boyfriend is quite a scorer.
Players with the French soccer team Olympique Marseille were forced to pass the hat when Exxon refused the pilots credit card for their flight home. Officials believe this is the first time a sports team has had to take a collection for leaving a strip without seeing clothes being removed.
Former NBA great Larry Bird won a lawsuit allowing him the right to use the phrase “The Legend of French Lick” opening the door for Marv Albert to use the phrase “Legend of the French Tickler”.
Top 3 signs your NHL team may not make the playoffs
# 3 Signed Chris Chelios to kick start the youth movement
# 2 Your top rookie was the MVP in the Zimbabwe Jr. league
# 1 Players demand separate rooms for team bonding trip
Sean Avery said in an interview he could market the NHL better than the officials in charge but when asked to back up his words hid behind a model from Vogue.
Avery says the NHL needs to create more hero and villain plotlines which will create the type of legitimacy seen in professional wrestling.
Top 3 Sean Avery suggestions to market the NHL
# 3 Scrap new water resistant uniforms in favour of chiffon
# 2 Focus less on the players skill and more on his GQ rating
# 1 Create a new magazine called “A” featuring him on the cover each month
My fearless predictions for the coming NHL season have Pittsburgh beating Calgary in the Stanley Cup, Toronto making the playoffs and Nashville players being asked to pay for their own sticks.
The financial crisis has NHL owners telling players they might have to tighten their cups.
With former Nashville owner Boots Del Biaggio filing for bankruptcy the only luxury box of interest is the one he might end up living in.
The NHL expanding to Europe instead of Canada is like putting your money into real estate instead of a mattress.
The financial turmoil may take a toll on sports journalism with the best looking female talking heads being courted by investment TV.
Sportsnet turns 10 this year and in honour of the event announcers are sporting retro haircuts.
The Edmonton Oilers were in Jasper for a bonding retreat and spent the time riding bikes, hiking and looking for a bar that wouldn’t ask for ID’s.
The stock market crash has affected the NBA with strip clubs complaining the rain has dwindled to a drizzle.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Pinball CFL Style
Top 3 signs your teams owner is nuts
# 3 Trades his # 1 pick for a couple of Canadian Maple bats.
# 2 Signs his 73 year old GM to a 10 year contract
# 1 Buys a US NHL team as an investment
Former Denver Bronco Travis Henry was arrested for trafficking in cocaine and immediately instructed his attorney to submit a “Babies need a few pair of shoes” defence.
Henry says he was set-up and thought he was buying baby powder in bulk.
Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis fired Coach Lane Kiffin and says he won’t pay him because he lied and said congress would pass the bailout plan.
Why is it now that the Argonauts are treating the quarterback position like a pinball game?
The Vancouver Canucks named Roberto Longo as their captain despite the fact he can’t officially wear the “C”. They also named the Sedin twins as their franchise players and decal double mocha as their official beverage.
Naming a captain who can’t talk to officials is like naming a catcher that can’t give signs to the pitcher.
With the financial crisis hitting Wall Street it may be that the Yankees will be the new sponsor of Chase Manhattan Bank.
Watching a bunch of self serving people sitting around a table discussing the national interest I was confused... is it an election debate or a Maple Leafs board meeting?
Tony Mandarich the 6’2 350 lb. 1st round draft pick for Green Bay now says he was taking steroids. In other news grass is green, the sky is blue and the sun disappears every night.
NY Mets pitcher Johan Santana had surgery on his knee and is confident he will be in the line-up in time for the annual fall collapse.
Al Davis has accused Bill Belichick of tampering saying he has secretly filmed Davis during a rare coherent phase.
The Montreal Alouttes have hired David Suzuki to help them go green while the Miami Dolphins say they will stick with advice from Rickey Williams.
The Toronto Blue Jays say they invented green and for years have recycled the same excuse for losing.
You heard it here first... the St. Louis Blues will make the playoffs and become the surprise of the NHL season.
It seems there is a trend towards having 3 days rest between big moments with MLB pitchers and the US congress leading the way.
Women ski jumpers are continuing their protest to be included in the 2010 Olympics saying if voters are allowed to take a leap into the unknown...
Lance Armstron rejected a call from the French anti-doping agency to re-test his 1999 urine sample saying... piss off.
# 3 Trades his # 1 pick for a couple of Canadian Maple bats.
# 2 Signs his 73 year old GM to a 10 year contract
# 1 Buys a US NHL team as an investment
Former Denver Bronco Travis Henry was arrested for trafficking in cocaine and immediately instructed his attorney to submit a “Babies need a few pair of shoes” defence.
Henry says he was set-up and thought he was buying baby powder in bulk.
Oakland Raiders owner Al Davis fired Coach Lane Kiffin and says he won’t pay him because he lied and said congress would pass the bailout plan.
Why is it now that the Argonauts are treating the quarterback position like a pinball game?
The Vancouver Canucks named Roberto Longo as their captain despite the fact he can’t officially wear the “C”. They also named the Sedin twins as their franchise players and decal double mocha as their official beverage.
Naming a captain who can’t talk to officials is like naming a catcher that can’t give signs to the pitcher.
With the financial crisis hitting Wall Street it may be that the Yankees will be the new sponsor of Chase Manhattan Bank.
Watching a bunch of self serving people sitting around a table discussing the national interest I was confused... is it an election debate or a Maple Leafs board meeting?
Tony Mandarich the 6’2 350 lb. 1st round draft pick for Green Bay now says he was taking steroids. In other news grass is green, the sky is blue and the sun disappears every night.
NY Mets pitcher Johan Santana had surgery on his knee and is confident he will be in the line-up in time for the annual fall collapse.
Al Davis has accused Bill Belichick of tampering saying he has secretly filmed Davis during a rare coherent phase.
The Montreal Alouttes have hired David Suzuki to help them go green while the Miami Dolphins say they will stick with advice from Rickey Williams.
The Toronto Blue Jays say they invented green and for years have recycled the same excuse for losing.
You heard it here first... the St. Louis Blues will make the playoffs and become the surprise of the NHL season.
It seems there is a trend towards having 3 days rest between big moments with MLB pitchers and the US congress leading the way.
Women ski jumpers are continuing their protest to be included in the 2010 Olympics saying if voters are allowed to take a leap into the unknown...
Lance Armstron rejected a call from the French anti-doping agency to re-test his 1999 urine sample saying... piss off.
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