A report from Health Canada concludes teenage girls actively seek out situations where they suffer angst. This report is being studied by officials with the Toronto Maple Leafs who plan to unveil a 3rd pink jersey.
Montreal has been hit with a series of bombings with Police saying it could be mob related or fans are preparing for a Grey Cup victory.
Top 5 signs your Grey Cup party is a bust
# 5 Half time lingerie football game features contestants from the Biggest Loser
# 4 The food is green and you’re cheering for the Alouettes
# 3 The beer supply has more imports than non imports
# 2 Matt Dunigan shows up to do the play by play
# 1 Nobody touches the special “Horsemeat Hash” tribute to Calgary
You have to wonder why any fan from Saskatoon would be coming to Calgary when LFL star Krystal Grey is there.
New Brunswick has said no to sponsor the Olympic torch relay for a cost of $1.5 million saying they can’t justify the expense. Olympic official were livid noting this may result in IOC members having to eat local caviar.
I guess Brian Burkes straight talk only works on the players.
It looks like Jesse Lumsden might be the most valuable addition to a sled since Rudolph.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Friday, November 20, 2009
The Buzz on Buzz
You know the H1N1 pandemic is serious when they move potential Olympic Hockey team members to the front of the line for a shot...
Professional athletes have been called pigs for years but when they try to get a shot for it everyone calls them line jumpers.
After seeing sports teams get the H1N1 shot and X-rays being taken of baseball injuries between innings... Americans are now calling for a player’s health option in addition to a public one for health care reform.
The CFL Players Association (CFLPA) is in the final phase of negotiations for a new contract. A CFLPA spokesman says stumbling blocks include revenue on deposit from empties, 2 for 1 coupons and air miles.
The NHL Players Association has confirmed Buzz Hargrove the former head of the Auto Workers has resigned. Buzz leave the NHLPA in roughly the same condition he left the auto industry.
A helicopter was required to rescue a man from an ice flow in northern Manitoba. The man was said to be in good condition and says he still plans to coach the Blue Bombers next year.
Kansas Royals pitcher Zach Grienke has won the American League Cy Young Award. Grienke suffers from a social disorder which makes him the 1st professional athlete to have a social disease not treatable with penicillin.
If giving up $8 million to play part time makes Alan Iverson the “Answer” the question must be who has more money than brains.
I saw an incident like the woman who attacked another player on the soccer field but they were covered with mud and there was a 2 drink minimum.
After a blown call by the referee on a hand ball sent France to a victory over Ireland in World Cup qualifications officials with Ireland are worried it might cause their fan base to take to the drink.
The owner of the Tennessee Titans was fined $250,000. For giving the Buffalo Bills fans the finger but yet the owner of the Bills wasn’t fined anything for giving his fans the shaft.
San Francisco Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum had quite the month with being charged on possession of marijuana and then winning the Cy Young award by a paper thin margin.
A plan to have cruise ships in the harbour for Vancouver 2010 was scrapped with officials saying the plan collapsed when they couldn’t find enough girls to go wild.
Top 5 signs your teams celebrations are over the top
# 5 Players do the Lambeau Leap in practice
# 4 Team hires a choreographer for touchdown celebrations
# 3 Captain starts break dancing when he wins the coin toss
# 2 The referee has to tell players to get a room during hug fests
# 1 They play for a team from Toronto
Professional athletes have been called pigs for years but when they try to get a shot for it everyone calls them line jumpers.
After seeing sports teams get the H1N1 shot and X-rays being taken of baseball injuries between innings... Americans are now calling for a player’s health option in addition to a public one for health care reform.
The CFL Players Association (CFLPA) is in the final phase of negotiations for a new contract. A CFLPA spokesman says stumbling blocks include revenue on deposit from empties, 2 for 1 coupons and air miles.
The NHL Players Association has confirmed Buzz Hargrove the former head of the Auto Workers has resigned. Buzz leave the NHLPA in roughly the same condition he left the auto industry.
A helicopter was required to rescue a man from an ice flow in northern Manitoba. The man was said to be in good condition and says he still plans to coach the Blue Bombers next year.
Kansas Royals pitcher Zach Grienke has won the American League Cy Young Award. Grienke suffers from a social disorder which makes him the 1st professional athlete to have a social disease not treatable with penicillin.
If giving up $8 million to play part time makes Alan Iverson the “Answer” the question must be who has more money than brains.
I saw an incident like the woman who attacked another player on the soccer field but they were covered with mud and there was a 2 drink minimum.
After a blown call by the referee on a hand ball sent France to a victory over Ireland in World Cup qualifications officials with Ireland are worried it might cause their fan base to take to the drink.
The owner of the Tennessee Titans was fined $250,000. For giving the Buffalo Bills fans the finger but yet the owner of the Bills wasn’t fined anything for giving his fans the shaft.
San Francisco Giants pitcher Tim Lincecum had quite the month with being charged on possession of marijuana and then winning the Cy Young award by a paper thin margin.
A plan to have cruise ships in the harbour for Vancouver 2010 was scrapped with officials saying the plan collapsed when they couldn’t find enough girls to go wild.
Top 5 signs your teams celebrations are over the top
# 5 Players do the Lambeau Leap in practice
# 4 Team hires a choreographer for touchdown celebrations
# 3 Captain starts break dancing when he wins the coin toss
# 2 The referee has to tell players to get a room during hug fests
# 1 They play for a team from Toronto
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Grrreeeaaattt!
Andre Agassi says he used crystal meth in his tennis career. And I thought they survived on Crystal Lite like their commercials said.
With both starting pitchers in the World Series former Cleveland Indians shouldn’t the City get some bragging rights?
A major goalie controversy has erupted in Montreal with Halak now having to carry Price.
Rogers Communication, owners of the Toronto Blue Jays, extended the contract of Paul Beason the 1st step in a rebuilding project scheduled to take minutes.
Rogers was denying rumours of an impending sale saying they receive almost 26% of their mobile communication divisions’ revenues from people texting “Jays Suck”.
A major breakthrough in limb replacement surgery has NFL officials excited about increasing the number of regular season games.
Not sure which story is getting the most coverage the H1N1 or the Leafs won, Leafs won!
It was 50 years ago the 1st goalie dared to wear a mask in a NHL contest changing the game forever as the object now was to knock off the mask.
Dr.’s are saying marijuana can be successful in removing hemorrhoids and was confirmed by every pro athlete that has spent serious time on the bench.
In the grand scheme of promotion how sad is it when the NHL is in a legal battle against one of the greatest players ever over money?
How can we thank Gary Betman for turning the simple pleasure of remembering Wayne Gretzky as the great one replace with him having to hire a great lawyer to save his reputation and money?
Police say a confrontation among rival fans in Brazil left two people hospitalized with gunshot wounds but Olympic officials are confident the violence will decrease once the soccer teams are finished their elimination rounds.
How many Mark McGuire puns are allowed with his hiring as hitting coach for the St. Louis Cardinals? Will he show the new players how he creamed them? Could be a shot in the arm for the team... could be a shot in the ass. There should be a contest.
Top 5 signs your new hitting coach is on steroids
# 5 Throws harder than the pitching machine
# 4 Doubles as the team masseuse and moisturizer
# 3 Asked to instruct nurses giving H1N1 shots
# 2 Keeps getting larger batting helmets
# 1 Favorite saying... “Take a pill”.
With both starting pitchers in the World Series former Cleveland Indians shouldn’t the City get some bragging rights?
A major goalie controversy has erupted in Montreal with Halak now having to carry Price.
Rogers Communication, owners of the Toronto Blue Jays, extended the contract of Paul Beason the 1st step in a rebuilding project scheduled to take minutes.
Rogers was denying rumours of an impending sale saying they receive almost 26% of their mobile communication divisions’ revenues from people texting “Jays Suck”.
A major breakthrough in limb replacement surgery has NFL officials excited about increasing the number of regular season games.
Not sure which story is getting the most coverage the H1N1 or the Leafs won, Leafs won!
It was 50 years ago the 1st goalie dared to wear a mask in a NHL contest changing the game forever as the object now was to knock off the mask.
Dr.’s are saying marijuana can be successful in removing hemorrhoids and was confirmed by every pro athlete that has spent serious time on the bench.
In the grand scheme of promotion how sad is it when the NHL is in a legal battle against one of the greatest players ever over money?
How can we thank Gary Betman for turning the simple pleasure of remembering Wayne Gretzky as the great one replace with him having to hire a great lawyer to save his reputation and money?
Police say a confrontation among rival fans in Brazil left two people hospitalized with gunshot wounds but Olympic officials are confident the violence will decrease once the soccer teams are finished their elimination rounds.
How many Mark McGuire puns are allowed with his hiring as hitting coach for the St. Louis Cardinals? Will he show the new players how he creamed them? Could be a shot in the arm for the team... could be a shot in the ass. There should be a contest.
Top 5 signs your new hitting coach is on steroids
# 5 Throws harder than the pitching machine
# 4 Doubles as the team masseuse and moisturizer
# 3 Asked to instruct nurses giving H1N1 shots
# 2 Keeps getting larger batting helmets
# 1 Favorite saying... “Take a pill”.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
I be Leaf
It was a tough week for sports broadcasting networks with TSN getting flack for blacking out the Calgary/Saskatchewan game in Calgary and CBC being lambasted because they aired the Leaf game.
Because of the blackout I had to listen to the Stampeder radio coverage which had a few stutters in their play by play.
At 1st TSN said the blackout was a mistake but later they said it was an elections rule because it was felt Roughrider Chris Czarka, who is running for Alderman in Regina, would get an unfair advantage with the voters partying in Calgary.
A battle for the slums of Rio de Janerio, which resulted in cars and building being set alight, has Olympic officials questioning the Countries security. A spokesman for the Rio games was unconcerned saying the incident was just an Olympic torch rehearsal.
An autopsy is underway to discover the cause of death after an acrobat with the Cirque de Soleil fell to his death. Opinions vary as to whether it was the fall or the sudden stop at the bottom.
After taking a 30% pay raise last year the Alberta Conservatives reduced their salary by 5% and called it even. This is the type of accounting that Gary Bettman wants to see from potential owners of the Coyotes.
Calgary Transit refused to run posters for an art show featuring pictures of a giant baby on their train and bus lines which explains why advertisements for the TO Show were nixed as well.
An exhibit featuring parts of the Dead Sea Scrolls arrived in Canada and officials with the exhibit hope to have Chris Chelios supply some of the missing words.
I’m undecided if I should invest in Canada Savings Bonds, Alberta Savings Bonds or a Barry Bonds autograph.
Wouldn’t you know it? Just when watching the Leafs is fun HNIC says they may pull some of their games because they are not competitive. The only person who can remember when they were competitive was Foster Hewitt.
If the umpires keep making mistakes in the baseball playoffs they will soon be eligible for a bailout.
Will Leaf fans be given the H1N1 flu shot 1st as they seem to be getting sick almost dally?
My girlfriend says she would watch a lot more hockey if they would adopt the strip shoot out for each game.
The US Government is reducing bonuses paid to companies that almost destroyed the economy but a spokesman for the Leafs say Brian Burke will still get his.
Because of the blackout I had to listen to the Stampeder radio coverage which had a few stutters in their play by play.
At 1st TSN said the blackout was a mistake but later they said it was an elections rule because it was felt Roughrider Chris Czarka, who is running for Alderman in Regina, would get an unfair advantage with the voters partying in Calgary.
A battle for the slums of Rio de Janerio, which resulted in cars and building being set alight, has Olympic officials questioning the Countries security. A spokesman for the Rio games was unconcerned saying the incident was just an Olympic torch rehearsal.
An autopsy is underway to discover the cause of death after an acrobat with the Cirque de Soleil fell to his death. Opinions vary as to whether it was the fall or the sudden stop at the bottom.
After taking a 30% pay raise last year the Alberta Conservatives reduced their salary by 5% and called it even. This is the type of accounting that Gary Bettman wants to see from potential owners of the Coyotes.
Calgary Transit refused to run posters for an art show featuring pictures of a giant baby on their train and bus lines which explains why advertisements for the TO Show were nixed as well.
An exhibit featuring parts of the Dead Sea Scrolls arrived in Canada and officials with the exhibit hope to have Chris Chelios supply some of the missing words.
I’m undecided if I should invest in Canada Savings Bonds, Alberta Savings Bonds or a Barry Bonds autograph.
Wouldn’t you know it? Just when watching the Leafs is fun HNIC says they may pull some of their games because they are not competitive. The only person who can remember when they were competitive was Foster Hewitt.
If the umpires keep making mistakes in the baseball playoffs they will soon be eligible for a bailout.
Will Leaf fans be given the H1N1 flu shot 1st as they seem to be getting sick almost dally?
My girlfriend says she would watch a lot more hockey if they would adopt the strip shoot out for each game.
The US Government is reducing bonuses paid to companies that almost destroyed the economy but a spokesman for the Leafs say Brian Burke will still get his.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Lights...camera...
Montreal Canadians George Laroque says he is ashamed after starring in a commercial featuring lingerie clad women playing street hockey. Laroque says he donated the money to animal awareness and I guess buying the women furs made them aware.
Isn’t giving the Nobel Prize to President Obama like giving Toronto Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke this year’s award for best executive in the NHL?
There is a precedent for giving President Obama the Nobel based on potential it’s called being the 1st round pick in the NFL draft.
The NFL had some objections to Rush Limbaugh as an owner, things like racism, polarization of political views and past drug abuse. The only reason he was considered at all is the NFL originally thought he wanted to be a player.
Limbaugh says he is the victim of a vast left wing conspiracy so maybe he knows enough about hockey to buy the Coyotes.
I hope they get the new building in Quebec City built before Gary Bettman figures out the city is still in Canada.
A startling report says the Arctic may be free of ice in 20 years. This prompted Gary Bettman to say if there is no ice and they build a rink they could have a shot at an NHL franchise.
As an investor I’m torn as to what will appreciate more... stocks that are rising despite the dismal job numbers or an autographed Vessa Toscula jersey?
The Toronto Argonauts want to play a home game in Moncton, the Buffalo Bills are playing home games in Toronto which has cause tourism officials in Toronto to unveil a new slogan... “Toronto a place to call someone else’s home”
More abused... Theo Fleury or Maple Leaf fans... discuss.
Canada received yet another slight from our American neighbours this week with the release of Theo Fleurys’ book. Where are all the Hollywood actors lining up to defend Graham James? I’m sure if you search his stuff there will be a film.
Isn’t giving the Nobel Prize to President Obama like giving Toronto Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke this year’s award for best executive in the NHL?
There is a precedent for giving President Obama the Nobel based on potential it’s called being the 1st round pick in the NFL draft.
The NFL had some objections to Rush Limbaugh as an owner, things like racism, polarization of political views and past drug abuse. The only reason he was considered at all is the NFL originally thought he wanted to be a player.
Limbaugh says he is the victim of a vast left wing conspiracy so maybe he knows enough about hockey to buy the Coyotes.
I hope they get the new building in Quebec City built before Gary Bettman figures out the city is still in Canada.
A startling report says the Arctic may be free of ice in 20 years. This prompted Gary Bettman to say if there is no ice and they build a rink they could have a shot at an NHL franchise.
As an investor I’m torn as to what will appreciate more... stocks that are rising despite the dismal job numbers or an autographed Vessa Toscula jersey?
The Toronto Argonauts want to play a home game in Moncton, the Buffalo Bills are playing home games in Toronto which has cause tourism officials in Toronto to unveil a new slogan... “Toronto a place to call someone else’s home”
More abused... Theo Fleury or Maple Leaf fans... discuss.
Canada received yet another slight from our American neighbours this week with the release of Theo Fleurys’ book. Where are all the Hollywood actors lining up to defend Graham James? I’m sure if you search his stuff there will be a film.
Friday, October 2, 2009
Hockey Dali
Teacher Pension the owners of the Toronto Maple Leafs have purchased the sleep company Simmons. A spokesman said the deal will accent the Leafs because when the Leafs lose customers have more mattress time.
The sideshow that is the NHL Players Association is much better suited to be a soap opera. I keep waiting for one of the honourable suits involved in knifing Union head Paul Kelly to suddenly confess he is actually Alan Eaglesons long lost sister Tootsie.
What is more honourable the NHL sticking an owner in Phoenix for millions in a market that won’t support a team or s former Chief Justice of Ontario peddling his influence to settle a score for a friend?
I’m pitching a script for a movie… in it Bonnie Lindros had an affair with Alan Eagleson and Eric is their lovechild in an elaborate plot to get rid of hockey so Hell can freeze over… can’t decide if it will be fantasy or a documentary…
Gary Bettman was furious at the decision of the Phoenix court saying the ruling would force him to spend nearly all this winter, talking with lawyers and staying in some crummy executive suite instead of enjoying the games in Nashville, New Jersey and Edmonton.
Kurtis Coombs, 19 had his hopes for victory as Mayor of Paradise NL vanish when he lost a draw after a tie with the other candidate. Coombs was furious saying the only other group that determines who gets the ball picking a name out of a hat is the Toronto Blue Jays.
Who says hockey isn’t trendy I mean they invented the fist bump.
It’s too bad Alberta is delaying their flu shots because the Flames look sick!
Calgary is wearing their original all red jerseys which make them look much bigger. Health officials say they are worried opposing teams may come down with a case of the Flames flu.
The Dali Lama was is Calgary and in an obvious pander to the city said non violence is OK but sometimes you just have to kick some Oiler ass.
The sideshow that is the NHL Players Association is much better suited to be a soap opera. I keep waiting for one of the honourable suits involved in knifing Union head Paul Kelly to suddenly confess he is actually Alan Eaglesons long lost sister Tootsie.
What is more honourable the NHL sticking an owner in Phoenix for millions in a market that won’t support a team or s former Chief Justice of Ontario peddling his influence to settle a score for a friend?
I’m pitching a script for a movie… in it Bonnie Lindros had an affair with Alan Eagleson and Eric is their lovechild in an elaborate plot to get rid of hockey so Hell can freeze over… can’t decide if it will be fantasy or a documentary…
Gary Bettman was furious at the decision of the Phoenix court saying the ruling would force him to spend nearly all this winter, talking with lawyers and staying in some crummy executive suite instead of enjoying the games in Nashville, New Jersey and Edmonton.
Kurtis Coombs, 19 had his hopes for victory as Mayor of Paradise NL vanish when he lost a draw after a tie with the other candidate. Coombs was furious saying the only other group that determines who gets the ball picking a name out of a hat is the Toronto Blue Jays.
Who says hockey isn’t trendy I mean they invented the fist bump.
It’s too bad Alberta is delaying their flu shots because the Flames look sick!
Calgary is wearing their original all red jerseys which make them look much bigger. Health officials say they are worried opposing teams may come down with a case of the Flames flu.
The Dali Lama was is Calgary and in an obvious pander to the city said non violence is OK but sometimes you just have to kick some Oiler ass.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Coach Ka Ching
Top 5 signs your coach is overpaid
# 5 Buys his hoodies from Saks 5th Avenue
# 4 His favourite whine is a 1996 Chteau Lafite Rothschild Pauillac
# 3 The only thing he takes to the bank is his cheque
# 2 His spread offense looks more like a spread sheet
# 1 2 His go to guy is EF Hutton
Wayne Gretzky has quit as coach of the Phoenix Coyotes citing a conflict with the way they play and the way they pay
A Russian mafia boss Mikhail Prokhorov is interested in buying the NJ Nets prompting NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman to charge the Nets with tampering as they had already cleared him to buy the Coyotes
The amount of money being paid to F-1 for the privilege to race in Montreal is just another FU-2 Canadian taxpayers
Canadian officials were apologetic over sending body bags to northern reserves saying they should have been sent to the Phoenix Coyotes.
Mohamar Kaddafi made a rambling speech at the UN questioning the election of George Bush, JFK’s assignation and why College Football refuses to go to a playoff system
Sport Select had an interesting over under line of 33 being the total points scored between the Argonauts and Blue Bombers or the temperature in Calgary
The former coach of the NY Jets was fined for not disclosing Brett Favre had an injury. Favre was furious saying advanced arthritis was common in men his age not an injury
Mixed Martial Arts fighter Rampage Jackson says he will quit to pursue an acting career with his first job portraying Latoya Jackson in a made for TV movie
# 5 Buys his hoodies from Saks 5th Avenue
# 4 His favourite whine is a 1996 Chteau Lafite Rothschild Pauillac
# 3 The only thing he takes to the bank is his cheque
# 2 His spread offense looks more like a spread sheet
# 1 2 His go to guy is EF Hutton
Wayne Gretzky has quit as coach of the Phoenix Coyotes citing a conflict with the way they play and the way they pay
A Russian mafia boss Mikhail Prokhorov is interested in buying the NJ Nets prompting NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman to charge the Nets with tampering as they had already cleared him to buy the Coyotes
The amount of money being paid to F-1 for the privilege to race in Montreal is just another FU-2 Canadian taxpayers
Canadian officials were apologetic over sending body bags to northern reserves saying they should have been sent to the Phoenix Coyotes.
Mohamar Kaddafi made a rambling speech at the UN questioning the election of George Bush, JFK’s assignation and why College Football refuses to go to a playoff system
Sport Select had an interesting over under line of 33 being the total points scored between the Argonauts and Blue Bombers or the temperature in Calgary
The former coach of the NY Jets was fined for not disclosing Brett Favre had an injury. Favre was furious saying advanced arthritis was common in men his age not an injury
Mixed Martial Arts fighter Rampage Jackson says he will quit to pursue an acting career with his first job portraying Latoya Jackson in a made for TV movie
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