There were 300 arrests Saturday evening in Toronto as part of the Gr8 protest slightly more than the number arrested during riots following the English/American World Cup losses earlier in the day.
When told there were 300 arrested in protest to the loss of civil and environmental controls and corporate raiders a British Football supporter was quoted as saying “cute”.
A spokesperson for the riot says they hope to make a small profit from a combination of the revenue from looting, blog related advertising and better than projected prices on raw materials. This was due to surplus sticks, bricks, pucks, Molotov cocktails and kegs leftover from the Montreal Canadians short lived playoff run
Who says Harper doesn’t attend extravagant arts and culture ceremonies with wildly divergent forms of artistic expression?
They arrested and held the rioters in an old film studio; I think the previous movie filmed there was a Police Squad sequel. The processing center was a boon to the anarchists who were taking civil disobedience majors in College as they could edit their term papers on the spot.
Do you call a guy with a cell phone at a riot embedded or does he have to get bedded 1st? I am so jealous. There are really hot women in passionate debate of the issues leading today’s riots. When I was a young rioter we were lucky if we got a pretty RN in recovery
The Gr8 Riot of Toronto was so familiar. When I was a kid it was called the boys got drunk... someone hit a Cop... with a car... a fire got started... the boys were in jail and the women had to go and bail their asses out. The proper name in Saskatchewan wasn’t riot it was called a Bonspiel
Top 5 signs your riot left over from the Montreal Canadians playoff run
# 5 It is funded with a Canada Council Grant
# 4 Smoking is recommended
# 3 Invitations state dress is black tie & balaclava
# 2 Pucks are added to the traditional police car torching
# 1 The rioters making a difference are the ones wearing Jaroslav Halack masks
I was kinda creeped out by the reaction of Peter Mansbridge to all the coverage that was supplied from freelance sources. I thought he should have spent more time with the new British Prime Minister instead of constantly asking the interns if he was still relevant...
The CBC really went all out with the coverage... but with the previous network commitments I found it hard to tell what was World Cup rioting and what was Gr8 rioting.
I thought the CBC had all the right angles and bringing in Don Cherry for a special Coaches Corner was a masterstroke. Don was in fine form showing how Canadian rioters were far more aggressive in the corners than their Swedish counterparts
You know what the Gr8 security needed to help with crowd control? A few dozen hockey referees. It was a riot in Toronto. A few guys in Zebra stripes giving out penalties, it would have been over in less than 3 hours commercials included.
Most of the rioters had probably played hockey and just the sight of a referee would be enough to have them drop the puck and head to a penalty box.
I spent the weekend glued to the cover as the great minds sat around tables and plotted the future with expert assistance and commentary. The end really was a bit of a surprise with the winner being Team Taylor over Team Tyler. I smell a sequel to Twilight!
I wonder who had more hand infractions this weekend players during World Cup Games, anarchists at the Gr8 Riot or Cougars prowling the NHL teenage draft?
The Alberta Government released a report saying they are only $1 billion in debt for this year instead of the projected $4.5 billion. The announcement was timed to coincide with the Wildrose Party meeting and a way of showing fiscal conservatives they had a grip on the finances. It just feels like the Phoenix Coyotes – Jim Balsille court fight. Substitute Gary Bettman for Ed Stelmach and Jim Balsille for Danielle Smith and the game is the same as they are both fighting for power, money and are on thin ice with the rules.
Being a member of the Calgary Flames draft team had the same clout as being the Greek finance minister at the G 20 Summit.
I felt bad for Brian Burke and Daryl Sutter when the other owners made the Flames and the Leafs sit at a kiddie draft tables.
F1 was thankful a catastrophe was averted during a spectacular crash this weekend that ended up with the driver walking away. After reviewing the video it was confirmed that the poster he flew over was a licensed sponsor of the circuit.
There was over 110,000 people in Philadelphia for the 3 game Jays home stand and increase over the 100,000 fans the Jays had for the month of June
FIFA is taking calls for replay on controversial goals very seriously and hope to have an answer when they meet in a retreat in Tahiti to discuss efficiencies.
The CFL Players Association has agreed to a new collective bargaining agreement that sets a new minimum wage in line with the wages of the concession workers other pro sports teams.
When the CFLPA says they had to make concessions in this contract, it took players a while to learn how to make popcorn without burning it
The agreement also has a new drug testing policy. The players will be randomly tested. Recreational drugs are not included as any athlete making what they do need access to drugs that make you forget.
The Alberta Government has increased the number of retirement beds in the Province just in time to see the Flames and Oilers send a bunch of veterans out to pasture.
FIFA says they will revisit technology upgrades in future World Cups. They hope to have news and will issue a press release once the typesetters return from vacation
I wonder if Oilers who were released or waived felt like a Martin Luther King Jr. speech... Free from last... Free from last...
The term Free Agency as applied to millionaire athletes is like the term Corporate Oversight to Wall Street brokers
Four Russians are alleged to have been spies for Russia and were found to have forged Canadian identities. Officials became suspicious when the individuals pronounced about “aboot”, thought Ron Lancaster was a curler and cheered for Russia in the Olympic hockey tournament
A spokesman for the US border services said Canadians blend in so well because they sound American. This was followed with an angry call from Quebec for an apology and for funds to form a committee examining potential damage awards to all French Canadians.
One of the spy suspects has a racy Facebook page with pictures of her in various stages of dress which should have been a tip off as not a one of them was filmed wearing a Flames, Leafs or Canadians jersey
One of the alleged spies has disappeared and authorities are worried he may play hockey which would pretty well make him invisible to the US public
I love how the teams in pro sport agree to a salary cap and then spend millions buying out contracts, sending salary to the minors or “loaning” players to a KLH squad... in an effort to stay under the salary cap. The salary cap counts only as much as a conscious counts to a money manager from Goldman Saks
The Calgary Flames are trying to rid themselves of the contract of Ales Kotalik and will buy him out if necessary for the cost of $ 4 million or roughly the team salary of the Calgary Stampeders 32 man roster for 2010.
I don’t know what I am going to watch when the World Cup ends as the only Network that regularly broadcasts less scoring at 7:00 AM is Nickleodeon
I really hope he makes a comeback but it is beginning to look like a Cheechoo train wreck
Nigeria has pulled funding for their national football team and they will not compete with other nations for 2 years as backlash for the team not making it to the World Cup playoff. The move has been criticized as counterproductive because Nigeria can only get better by playing world class teams. NHL experts say it is like giving away 2 1st round draft picks for a proven scorer
Monday, June 28, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Soccer Blu!
The French have a name for someone who is sent home with pay for disgraceful performance and conduct... the working class.
In honour of the French team’s performance the 24 hours of Le Mans will be re-named the Grand Pricks
The French performance has called for a radical overhaul of the influence bureaucracy is having on team morale. And they will... once the Ad Hoc Committee is formed they expect to issue a statement mission in the New Year
This has to be the 1st time a Frenchman has complained after being sent home from his job early. Except for retirement
African Nations are having a difficult time getting through the qualifiers and in an ironic repeat of most 3rd world aid, the celebration in South Africa has eliminated the hosts.
It must be a real ironic twist for Americans to go into Africa and get robbed by officials rather than bribing them to rob Africans
Pat Quinn got a promotion from the Edmonton Oilers from Head Coach to special assistant. This is like the CEO of BP getting a promotion from managing the Gulf oil crisis to cleaning oily pelicans
The Calgary Flames are getting set for the upcoming NHL entry draft or as they are calling it Passover
The San Jose Sharks have parted ways with goaltender Evengi Nabokov saying they wanted to go a different direction... as winners
A 5.0 earthquake rocked Ontario and Quebec this week. The last time the ground had shook this much was when Sidney Crosby scored the Golden Goal for team Canada
The quake rattled windows and tossed valuables off display cases but fortunately no Toronto sports team had any hardware to break
It’s fun watching a rookie from small town Canada standing up at a podium in Vegas to accept an award. I especially liked their speeches and the way they thanked the person most responsible for getting them to where they are... the cooks
There have been a record number of Bear attacks reported in parts of Canada this year. But by far and away the most clawing of Canadians has to go to the cougars and the hockey players at the NHL awards. If they finally decide to put an NHL team in Saskatoon you can bet they will name it the Cougars. One enterprising agent is pitching an adult video called “The Cougars of the Saskatoon Valley”
The NHL promised big name entertainment in Vegas and they delivered with George Stroumboulopoulos
When 6’9” Tyler Meyers won the Calder Cup he brought up foolscap lined paper filled with a list of people to thank. I don’t think he is a polished speaker yet. The only thing shaking more than his paper were the new rookies sitting in the audience.
The band Shinedown played their hit Sound of Madness or as it is known by in the NHLPA... a conference call
I guess it was fitting for the US Military to present a trophy at the NHL awards. The Canadian teams especially have ties as the Leafs are “being all they can be”, the Flames are “an army of one” and the Oilers are sending baby faced recruits into live fire
A Canadian official is under fire by hinting the Chinese may be increasing their influence by giving money to Government programs. This has caused a scandal as the process of bribing officials already has rules similar to getting an NHL franchise and no one asked Gary Bettman for permission
A car in Toronto was stopped by Police and found packed with pick axes, gasoline containers, baseball bats, a crossbow and chainsaws. At first there was a concern over a terrorist plot at the G-20 Conference but later is was revealed to be just an English fan stocking up before the big World Cup game with Germany
A men’s single Wimbledon tennis match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut finally ended when Isner got a winner in the 5th set with a score of 70-68. This is the longest match in tennis history just beating out the Chrissy Evert Jimmy McEnroe match of the ‘80’s
In honour of the French team’s performance the 24 hours of Le Mans will be re-named the Grand Pricks
The French performance has called for a radical overhaul of the influence bureaucracy is having on team morale. And they will... once the Ad Hoc Committee is formed they expect to issue a statement mission in the New Year
This has to be the 1st time a Frenchman has complained after being sent home from his job early. Except for retirement
African Nations are having a difficult time getting through the qualifiers and in an ironic repeat of most 3rd world aid, the celebration in South Africa has eliminated the hosts.
It must be a real ironic twist for Americans to go into Africa and get robbed by officials rather than bribing them to rob Africans
Pat Quinn got a promotion from the Edmonton Oilers from Head Coach to special assistant. This is like the CEO of BP getting a promotion from managing the Gulf oil crisis to cleaning oily pelicans
The Calgary Flames are getting set for the upcoming NHL entry draft or as they are calling it Passover
The San Jose Sharks have parted ways with goaltender Evengi Nabokov saying they wanted to go a different direction... as winners
A 5.0 earthquake rocked Ontario and Quebec this week. The last time the ground had shook this much was when Sidney Crosby scored the Golden Goal for team Canada
The quake rattled windows and tossed valuables off display cases but fortunately no Toronto sports team had any hardware to break
It’s fun watching a rookie from small town Canada standing up at a podium in Vegas to accept an award. I especially liked their speeches and the way they thanked the person most responsible for getting them to where they are... the cooks
There have been a record number of Bear attacks reported in parts of Canada this year. But by far and away the most clawing of Canadians has to go to the cougars and the hockey players at the NHL awards. If they finally decide to put an NHL team in Saskatoon you can bet they will name it the Cougars. One enterprising agent is pitching an adult video called “The Cougars of the Saskatoon Valley”
The NHL promised big name entertainment in Vegas and they delivered with George Stroumboulopoulos
When 6’9” Tyler Meyers won the Calder Cup he brought up foolscap lined paper filled with a list of people to thank. I don’t think he is a polished speaker yet. The only thing shaking more than his paper were the new rookies sitting in the audience.
The band Shinedown played their hit Sound of Madness or as it is known by in the NHLPA... a conference call
I guess it was fitting for the US Military to present a trophy at the NHL awards. The Canadian teams especially have ties as the Leafs are “being all they can be”, the Flames are “an army of one” and the Oilers are sending baby faced recruits into live fire
A Canadian official is under fire by hinting the Chinese may be increasing their influence by giving money to Government programs. This has caused a scandal as the process of bribing officials already has rules similar to getting an NHL franchise and no one asked Gary Bettman for permission
A car in Toronto was stopped by Police and found packed with pick axes, gasoline containers, baseball bats, a crossbow and chainsaws. At first there was a concern over a terrorist plot at the G-20 Conference but later is was revealed to be just an English fan stocking up before the big World Cup game with Germany
A men’s single Wimbledon tennis match between John Isner and Nicolas Mahut finally ended when Isner got a winner in the 5th set with a score of 70-68. This is the longest match in tennis history just beating out the Chrissy Evert Jimmy McEnroe match of the ‘80’s
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Skirting the issue
The terminology between American football and World Cup football is so different. For instance in the World Cup a set piece is when players line up for a free or corner kick whereas in American football it’s when you have a groupie waiting for you at a hotel.
World Cup referees have been given lessons in detecting profanities in both French and English. Referees were given speeches by former PM Jean Chretien as he was able to swear in neither official language.
You know Argentina was dominating Nigeria in World Cup play when their coach Diego Maradona had more touches than most of the Nigerian side
Maradona is in a spat with Brazilian great Pele saying he should be put in a museum which is ironic as most football fans see Maradona as the one to be placed in an institution
Can’t believe all the fuss over the horn blowing this week I mean if Dion Phaneuf thinks he can be captain of the Leafs more power to him
After watching Brazil barely squeak by North Korea during World Cup play it appears the North Koreans were able to disguise players with rockets for shots. Leader of North Korea Kim Jong-Il has paid 1000 Chinese actors to cheer for their team in South Africa. After hearing a team is paying to have fans watch an overmatched squad Leafs GM Brian Burke called for the civilized world to remove this dangerous despot.
Tennessee Titans QB Vince Young was involved in a fight at a club when a bouncer gave him the upside down Texas Longhorns salute. Asked to comment NFL Commissioner Roger Godel gave an entirely different hand gesture
A report on wellbeing of Canadians say the average person spends less time on leisure than 10 years ago. The only groups to have an increase were the Blue Jays, Argonauts and Leafs
The Calgary Stampede chose Oklahoma cowboys Jet and Cord McCoy of the American TV show Amazing Race as this year’s parade marshal. Asked why they didn’t select one of the many Olympic athletes from Canada, Stampede officials gave a whole lot of bull
The Saskatchewan Roughriders will wear a retro red, silver and black jersey this year in honour of their 100th anniversary. They will also sell 2010 of the jerseys although the exact amount will be confirmed after a re-count
The US Government is investigating reports of a Sasquatch citing but the mystery may be solved and now that the Stanley Cup playoffs are over Philadelphia Flyers forward Scott Hartnell says he will shave.
After the BP Chairman referred to small people there was a huge uproar with many groups demanded an apology including shrimp worker, short order cooks and the Montreal Canadians
The comments were taken personally by Gary Bettman who demanded BP buy the Phoenix Coyotes as compensation
In an attempt to capitalize on the excitement of World Cup BP says they will enlist the help of Korean footballers and try to contain the spill in the Gulf using a Jung shot
Warren Buffett is urging billionaires to give away half their wealth to charities. Experts say this could potentially cure many diseases, save the environment or keep hockey in the Sunbelt States
The Dutch Embassy is protesting the arrest of women who wore orange miniskirts to do a World Cup ambush promotion for a brewery saying the charges don’t have a tanned, nicely shaped leg to stand on
World Cup referees have been given lessons in detecting profanities in both French and English. Referees were given speeches by former PM Jean Chretien as he was able to swear in neither official language.
You know Argentina was dominating Nigeria in World Cup play when their coach Diego Maradona had more touches than most of the Nigerian side
Maradona is in a spat with Brazilian great Pele saying he should be put in a museum which is ironic as most football fans see Maradona as the one to be placed in an institution
Can’t believe all the fuss over the horn blowing this week I mean if Dion Phaneuf thinks he can be captain of the Leafs more power to him
After watching Brazil barely squeak by North Korea during World Cup play it appears the North Koreans were able to disguise players with rockets for shots. Leader of North Korea Kim Jong-Il has paid 1000 Chinese actors to cheer for their team in South Africa. After hearing a team is paying to have fans watch an overmatched squad Leafs GM Brian Burke called for the civilized world to remove this dangerous despot.
Tennessee Titans QB Vince Young was involved in a fight at a club when a bouncer gave him the upside down Texas Longhorns salute. Asked to comment NFL Commissioner Roger Godel gave an entirely different hand gesture
A report on wellbeing of Canadians say the average person spends less time on leisure than 10 years ago. The only groups to have an increase were the Blue Jays, Argonauts and Leafs
The Calgary Stampede chose Oklahoma cowboys Jet and Cord McCoy of the American TV show Amazing Race as this year’s parade marshal. Asked why they didn’t select one of the many Olympic athletes from Canada, Stampede officials gave a whole lot of bull
The Saskatchewan Roughriders will wear a retro red, silver and black jersey this year in honour of their 100th anniversary. They will also sell 2010 of the jerseys although the exact amount will be confirmed after a re-count
The US Government is investigating reports of a Sasquatch citing but the mystery may be solved and now that the Stanley Cup playoffs are over Philadelphia Flyers forward Scott Hartnell says he will shave.
After the BP Chairman referred to small people there was a huge uproar with many groups demanded an apology including shrimp worker, short order cooks and the Montreal Canadians
The comments were taken personally by Gary Bettman who demanded BP buy the Phoenix Coyotes as compensation
In an attempt to capitalize on the excitement of World Cup BP says they will enlist the help of Korean footballers and try to contain the spill in the Gulf using a Jung shot
Warren Buffett is urging billionaires to give away half their wealth to charities. Experts say this could potentially cure many diseases, save the environment or keep hockey in the Sunbelt States
The Dutch Embassy is protesting the arrest of women who wore orange miniskirts to do a World Cup ambush promotion for a brewery saying the charges don’t have a tanned, nicely shaped leg to stand on
Thursday, June 10, 2010
A real Corker!
90 year old White House reporter Helen Thomas resigned after controversial comments about Israel. Asked for his opinion Don Cherry said he upset she was forced out and blamed it on French Canadians, Russians and Swedes.
I don’t know what the big deal is with Pete Rose having a corked bat. Some of the best sportswriters have been corked for years... right... Hartley... Cam?
Toronto Raptors forward Hedo Turkoglu says he wants out of the City and is asking to be traded to another club preferably Club Supersex
The Edmonton Eskimos announced they have sold all of the tickets for the upcoming Grey Cup game. They credit it to their marketing efforts towards women by calling the game Stars on Ice
A new report says getting hit in minor hockey causes injuries. This contradicts earlier reports saying getting hit results in fairy dust and lemon drops. The report goes on to suggest keeping kids safely indoors eating chips, drinking pop and taking blood thinners to avoid heart attacks.
A company in England is being investigated for selling a machine that is supposed to detect bombs but in fact is useless. The fraud came to life when it didn’t go off during a Flames/Leafs game
A Portuguese photographer was robbed at gunpoint Wednesday at a World Cup hotel. The man was unconcerned saying it was still cheaper than the hotels minibar.
The online social network Twitter is preparing for a record number of tweets per day during the World Cup. Coincidentally with the number of drunken fans South African police say they expect a huge increase in the number of twits as well. FYI if you are acting like a twit and you are hit with a police baton the proper tweet is “thwack”.
A Calgary candidate for mayor is touting the idea of applying for the 2022 Winter Olympics. He says he would have applied for the Summer Games but he doesn’t have 2020 vision.
Scientists say they will try a new sucker system to get oil out of the Gulf of Mexico. They say the suckers were delayed because of previous commitments to buying a hockey team in Phoenix
A minor league baseball team in Florida will no longer refer to batting practice with its commonly used moniker, "BP," in protest of the British Petroleum oil spill. They will also forbid players from making a slick play, uttering crude remarks or taking a leak.
I’m so old I can remember when “No Sex Please... We’re British” was a movie and not a directive to England’s World Cup players
New World Cup motto for England... Abstinence makes the halves seem longer...
The CFL says it will equip quarterbacks' helmets with special headsets that allow coaches to communicate directly with their pivots. Because of cost restraints teams will use commercial AM channels requiring the QB to be more dialled in than usual. As a way of increasing revenue the CFL is considering expanding the 20 second clock to allow teams to run commercials.
Seattle Seahawks Golden Tate was given a "trespass warning" for breaking into a Top Pot at 3 AM Saturday morning and taking a donut. Team officials were shocked saying they are now questioning Tate’s intelligence as robbing a donut shop is sure to bring cops out in full force.
A Mohave County judge on Wednesday dismissed all Arizona charges against polygamist leader Warren Jeffs. The ruling is expected to hinder prosecution of cases against suspected polygamists in the State, but be a boon in the recruiting efforts of the NBA’s Phoenix Suns.
Police in Ontario are looking for a man who bought 1200 lbs of ammonia nitrate which is used as fertilizer but can be a part of a bomb. Police were suspicious as the spreading of fertilizer in Ontario is usually done during planting season in April or in September at the training camp for the Leafs.
Top 5 signs you may not win the Canadian Grand Prix in Montreal
# 5 You need a GPS device to follow the circuit
# 4 The Oil in your gear box is from the BP Gulf spill
# 3 You got beat by your 6 year old niece in Wii Mario Kart
# 2 You spend the night before having a poutine eating contest
# 1 You demand an ashtray be added to the cockpit
You know Tiger Woods has agreed to play in Limerick Ireland because he started his press release with “There once was a golfer from Nantucket...”
I don’t know what the big deal is with Pete Rose having a corked bat. Some of the best sportswriters have been corked for years... right... Hartley... Cam?
Toronto Raptors forward Hedo Turkoglu says he wants out of the City and is asking to be traded to another club preferably Club Supersex
The Edmonton Eskimos announced they have sold all of the tickets for the upcoming Grey Cup game. They credit it to their marketing efforts towards women by calling the game Stars on Ice
A new report says getting hit in minor hockey causes injuries. This contradicts earlier reports saying getting hit results in fairy dust and lemon drops. The report goes on to suggest keeping kids safely indoors eating chips, drinking pop and taking blood thinners to avoid heart attacks.
A company in England is being investigated for selling a machine that is supposed to detect bombs but in fact is useless. The fraud came to life when it didn’t go off during a Flames/Leafs game
A Portuguese photographer was robbed at gunpoint Wednesday at a World Cup hotel. The man was unconcerned saying it was still cheaper than the hotels minibar.
The online social network Twitter is preparing for a record number of tweets per day during the World Cup. Coincidentally with the number of drunken fans South African police say they expect a huge increase in the number of twits as well. FYI if you are acting like a twit and you are hit with a police baton the proper tweet is “thwack”.
A Calgary candidate for mayor is touting the idea of applying for the 2022 Winter Olympics. He says he would have applied for the Summer Games but he doesn’t have 2020 vision.
Scientists say they will try a new sucker system to get oil out of the Gulf of Mexico. They say the suckers were delayed because of previous commitments to buying a hockey team in Phoenix
A minor league baseball team in Florida will no longer refer to batting practice with its commonly used moniker, "BP," in protest of the British Petroleum oil spill. They will also forbid players from making a slick play, uttering crude remarks or taking a leak.
I’m so old I can remember when “No Sex Please... We’re British” was a movie and not a directive to England’s World Cup players
New World Cup motto for England... Abstinence makes the halves seem longer...
The CFL says it will equip quarterbacks' helmets with special headsets that allow coaches to communicate directly with their pivots. Because of cost restraints teams will use commercial AM channels requiring the QB to be more dialled in than usual. As a way of increasing revenue the CFL is considering expanding the 20 second clock to allow teams to run commercials.
Seattle Seahawks Golden Tate was given a "trespass warning" for breaking into a Top Pot at 3 AM Saturday morning and taking a donut. Team officials were shocked saying they are now questioning Tate’s intelligence as robbing a donut shop is sure to bring cops out in full force.
A Mohave County judge on Wednesday dismissed all Arizona charges against polygamist leader Warren Jeffs. The ruling is expected to hinder prosecution of cases against suspected polygamists in the State, but be a boon in the recruiting efforts of the NBA’s Phoenix Suns.
Police in Ontario are looking for a man who bought 1200 lbs of ammonia nitrate which is used as fertilizer but can be a part of a bomb. Police were suspicious as the spreading of fertilizer in Ontario is usually done during planting season in April or in September at the training camp for the Leafs.
Top 5 signs you may not win the Canadian Grand Prix in Montreal
# 5 You need a GPS device to follow the circuit
# 4 The Oil in your gear box is from the BP Gulf spill
# 3 You got beat by your 6 year old niece in Wii Mario Kart
# 2 You spend the night before having a poutine eating contest
# 1 You demand an ashtray be added to the cockpit
You know Tiger Woods has agreed to play in Limerick Ireland because he started his press release with “There once was a golfer from Nantucket...”
Thursday, June 3, 2010
What a Ball!
Adidas is vigorously defending the quality of the ball it has made for the World Cup saying it is the roundest ball ever made. The ball is made from a patented process called GripnGroove which is coincidentally the theme song for most NBA groupies
Players have said it reminds them of a beach ball to which Adidas spokesman replied they just have to be sure to push in the nozzle once it is inflated
This is the 1st time a scandal has erupted over balls at the World Cup not attached to a player
Rookies report to CFL camps this week and as part of the new collective agreement they will spend the 1st day passing around the collection plate
The International Cycling Union is denying reports athletes have been using electric motors placed inside the bike frames. They say the reports are false and nothing to get wound up about
BP is defending the practice of its executives playing rounds of gold while attempting to cap the Gulf oil spill saying they have a long and respected tradition of stopping for tee times
Russia says they will perform an experiment to simulate a trip to Mars by having astronauts confined to a Spartan, desolate space for 10 months or as CFL players call it a 2 year contract with the Riders
England is imposing a 2 week sex ban for players at the World Cup and will monitor their room to ensure compliance. This is the 1st time an English sex scandal had teeth
Philadelphia Flyers defenseman Chris Pronger is being criticized for throwing the game pucks in the trash from the 1st 2 playoff games. Pronger says this is in honour of his teenage years when he would throw away the rubber when he couldn’t score
Top 5 signs you made a bad call
# 5 You called the infield fly rule and you refereeing football
# 4 You gave a batter a walk after 3 pitches
# 3 The manager runs out and thanks you
# 2 Lens Crafter offers you a promotional job
# 1 You disallowed a goal in hockey because of goaltending
Jose Canseco says he will be a manager in the major leagues in the future if the game will just give him a shot
Tiger Woods says he will no longer employ a swing coach but will instead go over tapes of his past performance. Really... is a joke possibly funnier than what is on everyone’s mind?
The Toronto Maple Leafs are shopping defenseman Thomas Kaberle around in advance of the upcoming NHL draft. The Leafs are said to be looking for a proven scorer, toughness in the corners or a player to round out their golf foursomes
Gordie Howe was given an honorary doctorate from the University of Saskatchewan. According to anyone who had ever gone into the corner with him he won’t be called Dr. Feelgood
You would think with all the teeth he has knocked out he might get a Doctorate of Dentistry
I’m sure I speak for the rest of the NBA fans when I say I hope the Boston Los Angles final has no winner when
Players have said it reminds them of a beach ball to which Adidas spokesman replied they just have to be sure to push in the nozzle once it is inflated
This is the 1st time a scandal has erupted over balls at the World Cup not attached to a player
Rookies report to CFL camps this week and as part of the new collective agreement they will spend the 1st day passing around the collection plate
The International Cycling Union is denying reports athletes have been using electric motors placed inside the bike frames. They say the reports are false and nothing to get wound up about
BP is defending the practice of its executives playing rounds of gold while attempting to cap the Gulf oil spill saying they have a long and respected tradition of stopping for tee times
Russia says they will perform an experiment to simulate a trip to Mars by having astronauts confined to a Spartan, desolate space for 10 months or as CFL players call it a 2 year contract with the Riders
England is imposing a 2 week sex ban for players at the World Cup and will monitor their room to ensure compliance. This is the 1st time an English sex scandal had teeth
Philadelphia Flyers defenseman Chris Pronger is being criticized for throwing the game pucks in the trash from the 1st 2 playoff games. Pronger says this is in honour of his teenage years when he would throw away the rubber when he couldn’t score
Top 5 signs you made a bad call
# 5 You called the infield fly rule and you refereeing football
# 4 You gave a batter a walk after 3 pitches
# 3 The manager runs out and thanks you
# 2 Lens Crafter offers you a promotional job
# 1 You disallowed a goal in hockey because of goaltending
Jose Canseco says he will be a manager in the major leagues in the future if the game will just give him a shot
Tiger Woods says he will no longer employ a swing coach but will instead go over tapes of his past performance. Really... is a joke possibly funnier than what is on everyone’s mind?
The Toronto Maple Leafs are shopping defenseman Thomas Kaberle around in advance of the upcoming NHL draft. The Leafs are said to be looking for a proven scorer, toughness in the corners or a player to round out their golf foursomes
Gordie Howe was given an honorary doctorate from the University of Saskatchewan. According to anyone who had ever gone into the corner with him he won’t be called Dr. Feelgood
You would think with all the teeth he has knocked out he might get a Doctorate of Dentistry
I’m sure I speak for the rest of the NBA fans when I say I hope the Boston Los Angles final has no winner when
Thursday, May 27, 2010
The Chief Import
Phoenix Suns guard Steve Nash broke his nose and then rearranged it while on the court. Steve is glad it happened saying it would make him look less like an immigrant from Canada
A report out of Hamilton says the CFL Tiger Cats and Toronto Argonauts are considering playing in the same stadium. In order to make the deal more financially viable they are considering playing some of their home games in Phoenix and Saskatoon as well
A report out of NY says the NHL Islanders have canceled a training camp trip to China. Team owner Charles Wang is quoted as saying he isn’t sure what went Wong
Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has been replaced from a youth football camp by his coach Mike Tomlinson. A spokesman for the youth is disappointed saying they wanted to learn how to hook up with more than just receivers
With NY being awarded the game for the 1st time in years a Super Bowl will be played outside in winter conditions causing Brett Favre to re-consider playing in the game
A report says the Kansas City Chiefs had a new play in their arsenal called the import where they flew in pretty girls to hook up with before games. Team spokesman were quick to deny the reports saying the players only picked up locals except for the married players who used professionals
Residents of Toronto were shocked when an airplane fell out of the air and landed on the roof of a building. Jays fans were relieved it wasn’t their team crashing back to earth
Pac Man turned 30 this week the most powerful pill popping game next to baseball, football and cycling
A 13 year old boy from California has become the youngest ever to climb the highest peak in the world. He joins other record holders including class mates who got high and peaked in world record time
A study released has shown 10 solid ways to tell if the person you are talking to is lying. The number rises to 11 if you count people who say they thought the Philadelphia Flyers would be in the Stanley Cup final
The US Government is investigating professional cyclists who were paid by the US Postal Team to determine if they bought performance drugs with government money. The investigation is centred on Lance Armstrong and his suspicious success with an underweight package
Diego Maradonna says he will streak naked in Buenos Aires if Argentina wins the World Cup thus ending the argument if he is using performance enhancing drugs
Calgarian Jamie Kureluk shot a record 25 on the back nine of a Canadian Tour golf event. Jamie credits watching the Flames all year as they showed him how to consistently play under par
After a successful Cup run the Montreal Canadians are planning to raise ticket prices. Asked to comment a spokesman for the Toronto Maple Leafs was shocked saying they didn’t know you could get more money for winning
Actor Jack Nicholson will wave the green flag to start the Indianapolis 500 which should help Danica Patrick who will be looking to pass a few good men
President Obama has picked the LA Lakers over Boston Celtics to win the NBA championship but mind you he also has BP over the Gulf oil spill
If the Top Kill plugging attempt to stop the Gulf oil spill fails BP say they will pump down the documents on the Phoenix Coyotes bankruptcy trial and see if any of Gary Bettman’s mud will stick
MLB umpire Joe West has hired a publicist to get additional employment. So far he has had offers from Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers and The Biggest Loser
The NHL combine is set for this weekend 6 months before most of the prairie prospects will get on their everyday combine
Calgary has been awarded a Winter Classic by the NHL and to take advantage of the coldest time of the year plans are to have it in June
Peter Pocklington pleaded guilty to perjury in a California court and faces deportation to Canada. His lawyer says he will apply for refugee status on the basis that if he was to return to Alberta fans with long memories might still attempt to have a lynching party
A group of protestors has blocked plans by Donald Trump to build a golf resort in Scotland. Asked to comment a spokesman for the Donald said it was possible he would take a haircut on the deal
A report out of Hamilton says the CFL Tiger Cats and Toronto Argonauts are considering playing in the same stadium. In order to make the deal more financially viable they are considering playing some of their home games in Phoenix and Saskatoon as well
A report out of NY says the NHL Islanders have canceled a training camp trip to China. Team owner Charles Wang is quoted as saying he isn’t sure what went Wong
Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has been replaced from a youth football camp by his coach Mike Tomlinson. A spokesman for the youth is disappointed saying they wanted to learn how to hook up with more than just receivers
With NY being awarded the game for the 1st time in years a Super Bowl will be played outside in winter conditions causing Brett Favre to re-consider playing in the game
A report says the Kansas City Chiefs had a new play in their arsenal called the import where they flew in pretty girls to hook up with before games. Team spokesman were quick to deny the reports saying the players only picked up locals except for the married players who used professionals
Residents of Toronto were shocked when an airplane fell out of the air and landed on the roof of a building. Jays fans were relieved it wasn’t their team crashing back to earth
Pac Man turned 30 this week the most powerful pill popping game next to baseball, football and cycling
A 13 year old boy from California has become the youngest ever to climb the highest peak in the world. He joins other record holders including class mates who got high and peaked in world record time
A study released has shown 10 solid ways to tell if the person you are talking to is lying. The number rises to 11 if you count people who say they thought the Philadelphia Flyers would be in the Stanley Cup final
The US Government is investigating professional cyclists who were paid by the US Postal Team to determine if they bought performance drugs with government money. The investigation is centred on Lance Armstrong and his suspicious success with an underweight package
Diego Maradonna says he will streak naked in Buenos Aires if Argentina wins the World Cup thus ending the argument if he is using performance enhancing drugs
Calgarian Jamie Kureluk shot a record 25 on the back nine of a Canadian Tour golf event. Jamie credits watching the Flames all year as they showed him how to consistently play under par
After a successful Cup run the Montreal Canadians are planning to raise ticket prices. Asked to comment a spokesman for the Toronto Maple Leafs was shocked saying they didn’t know you could get more money for winning
Actor Jack Nicholson will wave the green flag to start the Indianapolis 500 which should help Danica Patrick who will be looking to pass a few good men
President Obama has picked the LA Lakers over Boston Celtics to win the NBA championship but mind you he also has BP over the Gulf oil spill
If the Top Kill plugging attempt to stop the Gulf oil spill fails BP say they will pump down the documents on the Phoenix Coyotes bankruptcy trial and see if any of Gary Bettman’s mud will stick
MLB umpire Joe West has hired a publicist to get additional employment. So far he has had offers from Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers and The Biggest Loser
The NHL combine is set for this weekend 6 months before most of the prairie prospects will get on their everyday combine
Calgary has been awarded a Winter Classic by the NHL and to take advantage of the coldest time of the year plans are to have it in June
Peter Pocklington pleaded guilty to perjury in a California court and faces deportation to Canada. His lawyer says he will apply for refugee status on the basis that if he was to return to Alberta fans with long memories might still attempt to have a lynching party
A group of protestors has blocked plans by Donald Trump to build a golf resort in Scotland. Asked to comment a spokesman for the Donald said it was possible he would take a haircut on the deal
Thursday, May 20, 2010
A Law with teeth
A man offered to give his three-month-old to a mechanic in exchange for two beers. The deal was thwarted when Travis Henry’s baby mama’s noticed he returned from the park with only 6 of the 7 kids he left with.
Police in South Africa staged a display of force before the World Cup to calm resident’s fears of rioting. The Police have taken a page out of Arizona’s new immigration laws and will target fans with bad teeth that are obviously British.
Looters who participated in the riot after Montreal beat Pittsburgh in the Stanley Cup playoffs have been captured on film. Once the identities are confirmed the participants will qualify for a Quebec Dramatic Arts Grant to be funded by Alberta and BC transfer payments.
Ontario has confirmed over $1 Billion in unpaid parking tickets are outstanding. The Government of Quebec say they have no such problem as any car left unattended for more than a couple hours is burned in celebration of a hockey victory.
You have to wonder if the former Dr. for the Toronto Argonauts can realistically be charged with using performance enhancing drugs on the players. You would think at some point the team has to show some example of enhanced performance
U.S. Democratic Senate candidate Richard Blumenthal has been criticized for claiming he served in Vietnam when in fact he was with the reserves and never saw action. This is like a player from the Toronto Maple Leafs claiming they have extensive playoff experience
Police are warning of an online scam that invites users to take part in a World Cup Lottery during this year’s soccer competition. The scam becomes apparent when the user as asked to guess how many goals Canada will score in the tournament
Prime Minister Stephen Harper has appointed David Braley, a Hamilton-area businessman who owns two Canadian Football League teams, to the Senate to fill a vacancy from Ontario. This is the 1st time a person from the CFL has been given a guaranteed salary in decades.
Toronto has shut down both the CN Tower and the Toronto Blue Jays during the G-20 Summit thus leaving only the Subway lines as places for tourists to see some scoring
Lance Armstrong is furious fellow cyclist Floyd Landis has accused him of taking steroids saying he didn’t have the balls to tell him to his face
Top 3 reasons to elect a CFL executive to the Senate
# 3 Familiar with delays, unnecessary roughing and being blind sided
# 2 Used to working less than 6 months a year
# 1 Lots of experience passing small bills
A reports says fathers can suffer from post partum depression which explains the number of anti-depressant prescriptions being issued to NBA players
Arizona Cardinals defensive tackle Darnell Dockett was livid when an online streaming video showed him taking a shower saying he wants to know who leaked it to the press
CBC commentator Ron Maclean will release his biography and if his on air puns continue it will probably be called The Wrath of Grapes
Police in South Africa staged a display of force before the World Cup to calm resident’s fears of rioting. The Police have taken a page out of Arizona’s new immigration laws and will target fans with bad teeth that are obviously British.
Looters who participated in the riot after Montreal beat Pittsburgh in the Stanley Cup playoffs have been captured on film. Once the identities are confirmed the participants will qualify for a Quebec Dramatic Arts Grant to be funded by Alberta and BC transfer payments.
Ontario has confirmed over $1 Billion in unpaid parking tickets are outstanding. The Government of Quebec say they have no such problem as any car left unattended for more than a couple hours is burned in celebration of a hockey victory.
You have to wonder if the former Dr. for the Toronto Argonauts can realistically be charged with using performance enhancing drugs on the players. You would think at some point the team has to show some example of enhanced performance
U.S. Democratic Senate candidate Richard Blumenthal has been criticized for claiming he served in Vietnam when in fact he was with the reserves and never saw action. This is like a player from the Toronto Maple Leafs claiming they have extensive playoff experience
Police are warning of an online scam that invites users to take part in a World Cup Lottery during this year’s soccer competition. The scam becomes apparent when the user as asked to guess how many goals Canada will score in the tournament
Prime Minister Stephen Harper has appointed David Braley, a Hamilton-area businessman who owns two Canadian Football League teams, to the Senate to fill a vacancy from Ontario. This is the 1st time a person from the CFL has been given a guaranteed salary in decades.
Toronto has shut down both the CN Tower and the Toronto Blue Jays during the G-20 Summit thus leaving only the Subway lines as places for tourists to see some scoring
Lance Armstrong is furious fellow cyclist Floyd Landis has accused him of taking steroids saying he didn’t have the balls to tell him to his face
Top 3 reasons to elect a CFL executive to the Senate
# 3 Familiar with delays, unnecessary roughing and being blind sided
# 2 Used to working less than 6 months a year
# 1 Lots of experience passing small bills
A reports says fathers can suffer from post partum depression which explains the number of anti-depressant prescriptions being issued to NBA players
Arizona Cardinals defensive tackle Darnell Dockett was livid when an online streaming video showed him taking a shower saying he wants to know who leaked it to the press
CBC commentator Ron Maclean will release his biography and if his on air puns continue it will probably be called The Wrath of Grapes
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