David Beckham says he will play out his contract with the LA Galaxy and hopes his stay with the team didn’t totally upset what was important, him getting a chance to play for England in 2019.
It’s a telling sign that the only highlights we remember from the David Beckham stay in LA were hair related
Mark McGuire says he will return to the St. Louis Cardinals despite an unproductive 1st year being a hitting coach. McGuire says he will try giving it a bigger shot next time.
Jim Armstrong of Richmond, B.C. Canada’s representative the Paralympics curling pleaded guilty to selling and dispensing counterfeit Viagra drugs with intent to mislead or defraud. Armstrong says he felt pressured into pleading guilty and when the judge asked what his plea was he had to hurry... hurry... hard!
There is a possibility the rest of his team may have to forfeit the medals they won during the games. Asked for comment the team says they felt stiffed.
Toronto has elected a drunken overweight red necked far right conservative for Mayor while Calgary has elected a Muslim, Harvard educated, gay, person of colour to represent their city. Next thing you know the Leafs will be ahead of the Flames in the standings.
It now makes sense when Leafs GM Brian Burke says his team needs a gut check.
After being sent down by the Edmonton Oilers defenseman Sheldon Souray suffered a hand injury in a fight but being the team player he is Sheldon was quick to show Oilers management what finger was broken
A new book called Discrimination in the NHL says French Canadian players are overlooked for English speaking players. Asked to comment Don Cherry said “Non”.
I agree completely with the premise and would suggest the bias goes further as French Canadian rioters never get the publicity or rewards they deserve.
The Alberta Government is coming under fire for the increased wait times in hospital emergency rooms. A spokesman agrees the times have gone up but say they expect them to decrease once teams visiting the Edmonton Oilers stop picking fights with Steve MacIntyre
A wind warning was issued for Toronto which came the same week Leafs GM Brian Burke says he is exploring trade possibilities... coincidence?
France is rioting over an increase in the retirement age which has confused Quebecers as they didn’t know the retirement age had a hockey team
Canada is lobbying the makers of the new Lord of the Rings prequel saying they could use members of the Montreal Canadians as extra Hobbits
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Retire or fire
Man U striker Wayne Rooney says he wants out of his lifelong relationship and is looking to play the field, he also wants to play soccer somewhere else.
After getting into a fight with his girlfriends father NY Mets pitcher K-Rod has forfeited $3 million in salary for his discretion. Asked why he hit him K-Rod said he was only trying to brush him off his home plate.
The Tour De France route was unveiled for next year and in a surprising turn will no longer schedule pit stops at Lourdes but will still test for holy water.
France is reeling with riots protesting an increase in the retirement age. In a show of support Montreal Canadians fans agreed to join the protest by throwing bricks at store fronts and setting fire to police cars during non game nights.
The French are rioting over proposed legislation calling for an increase in the retirement age. Protesters are furious with the NFL as well saying they should set an example and force Brett Favre to retire.
Google is being chastised by the Canadian Government for the way its search engine violates privacy. In particular they have found that despite repeated requests when searching for great hockey in the search engine it still list the Maple Leafs, Oilers and Flames.
A prisoner in Canada has won the right to get more meat in his sandwiches. After reviewing the policy the CFL players association says they will challenge the per diem amount given to their players calling it cruel and unusual.
The Canadian Transportation Agency has ruled Air Canada must provide nut free flights thus disrupting the travel plans of Calgary Stampeders Nik Lewis
President Obama will appear on the TV show Mythbusters in an attempt to explain the correlation with hitting a 3 point shot to winning the Presidency
Good to see Barry Bonds at the San Francisco Giants game and even more impressive he is able to take off his hat. It is nice to see someone with his accomplishments retire and not get a big head over them.
The Canadian comedy awards are being questioned when not a single Toronto sports team won for funniest performance by a cast or ensemble. At the very least the Leafs should have been nominated for a lifetime achievement award.
The Mayo Clinic in Boston is hosting a conference on concussions with input from hockey and football teams. Baseball will be represented by former President and Texas Rangers owner George Bush as they feel a head injury would explain a lot.
The United Kingdom is reeling after severe cuts were implemented to try and get their deficit under control. The cuts affect everyone and even Prince Charles will have to let go some of his groomsmen forcing him to walk Camilla by himself.
California held its annual earthquake prevention day which was oddly timed to coincide with the SF Giants shaking the baseball world with their performance.
After getting into a fight with his girlfriends father NY Mets pitcher K-Rod has forfeited $3 million in salary for his discretion. Asked why he hit him K-Rod said he was only trying to brush him off his home plate.
The Tour De France route was unveiled for next year and in a surprising turn will no longer schedule pit stops at Lourdes but will still test for holy water.
France is reeling with riots protesting an increase in the retirement age. In a show of support Montreal Canadians fans agreed to join the protest by throwing bricks at store fronts and setting fire to police cars during non game nights.
The French are rioting over proposed legislation calling for an increase in the retirement age. Protesters are furious with the NFL as well saying they should set an example and force Brett Favre to retire.
Google is being chastised by the Canadian Government for the way its search engine violates privacy. In particular they have found that despite repeated requests when searching for great hockey in the search engine it still list the Maple Leafs, Oilers and Flames.
A prisoner in Canada has won the right to get more meat in his sandwiches. After reviewing the policy the CFL players association says they will challenge the per diem amount given to their players calling it cruel and unusual.
The Canadian Transportation Agency has ruled Air Canada must provide nut free flights thus disrupting the travel plans of Calgary Stampeders Nik Lewis
President Obama will appear on the TV show Mythbusters in an attempt to explain the correlation with hitting a 3 point shot to winning the Presidency
Good to see Barry Bonds at the San Francisco Giants game and even more impressive he is able to take off his hat. It is nice to see someone with his accomplishments retire and not get a big head over them.
The Canadian comedy awards are being questioned when not a single Toronto sports team won for funniest performance by a cast or ensemble. At the very least the Leafs should have been nominated for a lifetime achievement award.
The Mayo Clinic in Boston is hosting a conference on concussions with input from hockey and football teams. Baseball will be represented by former President and Texas Rangers owner George Bush as they feel a head injury would explain a lot.
The United Kingdom is reeling after severe cuts were implemented to try and get their deficit under control. The cuts affect everyone and even Prince Charles will have to let go some of his groomsmen forcing him to walk Camilla by himself.
California held its annual earthquake prevention day which was oddly timed to coincide with the SF Giants shaking the baseball world with their performance.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Infectous fun
I think Marvel comics were a bit late to create a comic based on NHL teams I mean Super Mario writes itself...
Top 5 Marvel super powers for NHL players
# 5 Able to say sorry at super speed
# 4 Turn team owners into paupers in a single court battle
# 3 Fly under American sports fan radar
# 2 Change Union heads at the speed of sound
# 1 OMG… his mullet… it’s alive!
The NFL is abuzz with speculation Minnesota QB Brett Favre sent pictures of his privates to a former NY Jets staffer. Officials are not sure what to call the incident... a quick snap, the offside pass or another day in the NFL. Brett’s wife has become a real stats fan as she awaits word whether the pass will be ruled complete or incomplete
Age is a real difference between Favre and younger QB's while the younger ones use a wristband to call plays all he has on his wrist is a Medic Alert bracelet.
Don Cherry spent most of Coaches Corner getting an award from the Canadian military. Cherry was honoured for his support, promotion and ability to shoot down all his detractors
The Dallas Stars are refusing to comment on the public intoxication charges against Mike Riberio saying it’s private
A Nigerian sprinter has tested positive at the Commonwealth Games the 1st athlete to test positive for something other than dengue fever
Not a good sign when your event is plagued with problems and it’s the real plague
After seeing his party get wiped off the electoral map, a worldwide recession linked to his policies and his team losing 2 games with him in the stands... we can now assume George Bush was not nicknamed W for winning.
Roy Hailiday must think a perfect game is one where he doesn’t wear a Toronto Blue Jays uniform,
Watching the film of San Francisco pitcher Tim Lincecomb leaping up after his team beat the Atlanta Braves was fun. Asked how he felt Tim said he hasn’t been as high since he went to the Black Eyed Peas concert
Not sure what was more embarrassing Henry Burris in a bra or the Stampeders defense caught with their pants down
Top 5 Marvel super powers for NHL players
# 5 Able to say sorry at super speed
# 4 Turn team owners into paupers in a single court battle
# 3 Fly under American sports fan radar
# 2 Change Union heads at the speed of sound
# 1 OMG… his mullet… it’s alive!
The NFL is abuzz with speculation Minnesota QB Brett Favre sent pictures of his privates to a former NY Jets staffer. Officials are not sure what to call the incident... a quick snap, the offside pass or another day in the NFL. Brett’s wife has become a real stats fan as she awaits word whether the pass will be ruled complete or incomplete
Age is a real difference between Favre and younger QB's while the younger ones use a wristband to call plays all he has on his wrist is a Medic Alert bracelet.
Don Cherry spent most of Coaches Corner getting an award from the Canadian military. Cherry was honoured for his support, promotion and ability to shoot down all his detractors
The Dallas Stars are refusing to comment on the public intoxication charges against Mike Riberio saying it’s private
A Nigerian sprinter has tested positive at the Commonwealth Games the 1st athlete to test positive for something other than dengue fever
Not a good sign when your event is plagued with problems and it’s the real plague
After seeing his party get wiped off the electoral map, a worldwide recession linked to his policies and his team losing 2 games with him in the stands... we can now assume George Bush was not nicknamed W for winning.
Roy Hailiday must think a perfect game is one where he doesn’t wear a Toronto Blue Jays uniform,
Watching the film of San Francisco pitcher Tim Lincecomb leaping up after his team beat the Atlanta Braves was fun. Asked how he felt Tim said he hasn’t been as high since he went to the Black Eyed Peas concert
Not sure what was more embarrassing Henry Burris in a bra or the Stampeders defense caught with their pants down
Thursday, October 7, 2010
In the hole!
A hook-up of Tiger Woods plans to release an hour long videotape of her and Tiger with about 35 minutes of sex. This confirms what a lot of people have seen... Tiger spends a lot of time lining up the hole...
The NFL supported women’s cancer with pink gloves, chinstraps and personal breast exams by players after the games
Despite signing a 5 year agreement with Rona Calgary Flames officials are adamant the team is not re-building
A Montreal man was ordered to pay $1 billion after sending out spam on Facebook and worse was unfriended by Chad Ochocinco.
The CFL is asking for $12 million from the Federal Government to host the 100th Grey Cup. The money will be used to promote the event in Toronto. A few million will be also given for Quebec to hold a French language tribute in song, dance and mime.
You would think from the way the Buffalo Bills are playing the CFL would offer to pay to have them play a few more games in Toronto.
Steve Tambalini the GM of the Edmonton Oilers was asked why he sent Sheldon Souray to Rochester in the AHL . He said it was the best fit for the team after SKA Siberia declined their offer.
Sesame Street is tackling issues such as HIV and drug abuse in their new shows for Nigeria. Next up they plan to introduce a new character Mr. Zero who will explain soccer scoring.
A cargo ship in Montreal was found to have a container filled with illegal immigrants. The low wage workers were thought to be in Canada to compete with Canadians for low paying jobs but none of them were able to throw a football.
The NFL supported women’s cancer with pink gloves, chinstraps and personal breast exams by players after the games
Despite signing a 5 year agreement with Rona Calgary Flames officials are adamant the team is not re-building
A Montreal man was ordered to pay $1 billion after sending out spam on Facebook and worse was unfriended by Chad Ochocinco.
The CFL is asking for $12 million from the Federal Government to host the 100th Grey Cup. The money will be used to promote the event in Toronto. A few million will be also given for Quebec to hold a French language tribute in song, dance and mime.
You would think from the way the Buffalo Bills are playing the CFL would offer to pay to have them play a few more games in Toronto.
Steve Tambalini the GM of the Edmonton Oilers was asked why he sent Sheldon Souray to Rochester in the AHL . He said it was the best fit for the team after SKA Siberia declined their offer.
Sesame Street is tackling issues such as HIV and drug abuse in their new shows for Nigeria. Next up they plan to introduce a new character Mr. Zero who will explain soccer scoring.
A cargo ship in Montreal was found to have a container filled with illegal immigrants. The low wage workers were thought to be in Canada to compete with Canadians for low paying jobs but none of them were able to throw a football.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Don't go Heidi!
The difference between NFL and CFL off site games? CFL teams come back loaded up on lobster... NFL teams catch their fill of crabs...
I know the nickname has been taken but I vote the Big M for Matt Dunigan... m for mute... do we really need to know coach Marcel Belfray of the Tiger Cats has piercing bedroom blue eyes?
It would have been nice if TSN could had given us an Atlantic perspective on the Atlantic Game... but CBC wouldn’t release Rex Murphy
The CFL players are coming down hard on the repeat vicious chop blocks from the Hamilton Tiger Cats Jason Jimenez who has already ended one career. The cry is being taken up by any employee who has to work with a lunatic especially Canada Post. The employees of Canada Post are in a bind... do they agree with the CFL players or honour Jimenez with a going postal stamp?
Canada is sending its national curling teams to the Summer Commonwealth Games in New Delhi not to complete just to sweep up some of the mouse droppings. In order to get the athletes used to the unsanitary conditions Team Canada is training and eating on Yonge Street in Toronto.
I guess the Stampeders Henry Burris has a home jersey an away jersey and an away from home jersey. Let’s see... double barrelled offense, playing for the cup... front loaded contract... bunch of boobs and Henry...yup got’em all...
The Montreal Canadians have chosen a unilingual English American captain causing riots, looting , a challenge from the Quebec language Police, an angry Bloc is considering staying home from Parliament, the Quebec Liberals say more judges will be appointed to spearhead an inquiry and the mascot for the Quebec Winter Carnival was seen lining his pockets with Kleenex instead of money. Or as it is known in Quebec... Tuesday.
A rejected MacLean’s cover had the Quebec Winter Carnival mascot stuffing his pocket with NHL tickets...
It has a nice ring to it when LaPolice can be fined. Ist time this week for a Quebec authority figure.
Not to say golf is desperate to create a controversy but Rory McIlroy says he was misquoted in reports he wants to play Tiger Woods and set the record straight saying he told the reporter “nice day”.
The Alberta Government set up a workplace safety website and the #1 complaint was for the bone restructuring company owned by BC Lions lineman Jason Jiminez
NFL fans are upset Brett Favre won’t retire and devastated Heidi Klum did.
I know the nickname has been taken but I vote the Big M for Matt Dunigan... m for mute... do we really need to know coach Marcel Belfray of the Tiger Cats has piercing bedroom blue eyes?
It would have been nice if TSN could had given us an Atlantic perspective on the Atlantic Game... but CBC wouldn’t release Rex Murphy
The CFL players are coming down hard on the repeat vicious chop blocks from the Hamilton Tiger Cats Jason Jimenez who has already ended one career. The cry is being taken up by any employee who has to work with a lunatic especially Canada Post. The employees of Canada Post are in a bind... do they agree with the CFL players or honour Jimenez with a going postal stamp?
Canada is sending its national curling teams to the Summer Commonwealth Games in New Delhi not to complete just to sweep up some of the mouse droppings. In order to get the athletes used to the unsanitary conditions Team Canada is training and eating on Yonge Street in Toronto.
I guess the Stampeders Henry Burris has a home jersey an away jersey and an away from home jersey. Let’s see... double barrelled offense, playing for the cup... front loaded contract... bunch of boobs and Henry...yup got’em all...
The Montreal Canadians have chosen a unilingual English American captain causing riots, looting , a challenge from the Quebec language Police, an angry Bloc is considering staying home from Parliament, the Quebec Liberals say more judges will be appointed to spearhead an inquiry and the mascot for the Quebec Winter Carnival was seen lining his pockets with Kleenex instead of money. Or as it is known in Quebec... Tuesday.
A rejected MacLean’s cover had the Quebec Winter Carnival mascot stuffing his pocket with NHL tickets...
It has a nice ring to it when LaPolice can be fined. Ist time this week for a Quebec authority figure.
Not to say golf is desperate to create a controversy but Rory McIlroy says he was misquoted in reports he wants to play Tiger Woods and set the record straight saying he told the reporter “nice day”.
The Alberta Government set up a workplace safety website and the #1 complaint was for the bone restructuring company owned by BC Lions lineman Jason Jiminez
NFL fans are upset Brett Favre won’t retire and devastated Heidi Klum did.
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Chill Montreal
Not sure who has the hardest record to justify... Alberta Premier Ed Stelmach defending the Oil Sands... Edmonton GM Kevin Lowe defending the Oilers or Calgary GM Darryl Sutter defending his personality...
A surprise in the poll to determine who is the most popular candidate for mayor of Calgary when Darien Durant placed in the top 5
Jesse Lumsden signed with the Calgary Stampeders but only after he was given assurance they don’t still shoot workhorses that go lame...
Former Arizona Cardinals QB and devout Christian Kurt Warner was surprised when he heard so many people were praying for him. It turns out fans were asking for divine intervention so he would be kicked off Dancing with the Stars so he could go back to the team
After sitting out the pre season and then signing a huge contract NY Jets CB Darrelle Revis is on the shelf with a strained hamstring. Asked how he will pass the time away from football Revis replied... comfortably...
For a person addicted to morphine working for the Edmonton Eskimos is going to be a pain
Top 5 NFL/ Michael Vic/dog fighting puns/double entrants’/satire/ridicule/rhyme type jokes
#5 He’s been let off the leash... kept on a short one or reignited the debate over chemical castration...
#4 Vic may play in the shotgun but can’t pull the trigger...
#3 Vic wants to play defence but NFL will not allow him to be a Rover
#2 In the CFL a career ending tackle is called horse collaring in the NFL it’s fatal and called dog collaring
#1 Bite me
According to experts the American recession ended in July of 2009. Toronto Maple Leafs could relate as their team turned the corner in February of 2006
Carey Price has asked Canadians fans to “chill” after they booed him during a pre season loss. Asked to comment Montreal Canadians fans took exception to the hothead and excitable label and then resumed burning his effigy, looting the Gap and filming their angst for a Radio Canada live performance special...
A surprise in the poll to determine who is the most popular candidate for mayor of Calgary when Darien Durant placed in the top 5
Jesse Lumsden signed with the Calgary Stampeders but only after he was given assurance they don’t still shoot workhorses that go lame...
Former Arizona Cardinals QB and devout Christian Kurt Warner was surprised when he heard so many people were praying for him. It turns out fans were asking for divine intervention so he would be kicked off Dancing with the Stars so he could go back to the team
After sitting out the pre season and then signing a huge contract NY Jets CB Darrelle Revis is on the shelf with a strained hamstring. Asked how he will pass the time away from football Revis replied... comfortably...
For a person addicted to morphine working for the Edmonton Eskimos is going to be a pain
Top 5 NFL/ Michael Vic/dog fighting puns/double entrants’/satire/ridicule/rhyme type jokes
#5 He’s been let off the leash... kept on a short one or reignited the debate over chemical castration...
#4 Vic may play in the shotgun but can’t pull the trigger...
#3 Vic wants to play defence but NFL will not allow him to be a Rover
#2 In the CFL a career ending tackle is called horse collaring in the NFL it’s fatal and called dog collaring
#1 Bite me
According to experts the American recession ended in July of 2009. Toronto Maple Leafs could relate as their team turned the corner in February of 2006
Carey Price has asked Canadians fans to “chill” after they booed him during a pre season loss. Asked to comment Montreal Canadians fans took exception to the hothead and excitable label and then resumed burning his effigy, looting the Gap and filming their angst for a Radio Canada live performance special...
Thursday, September 16, 2010
A Dutchy subject...
The signing of Jesse Lumsden to a CFL contract is day to day when the running back tweaked his wrist while practicing putting his name to a contract...
A TV company is promoting their new 3D sets using a cardboard cut out of NFL stars falling down. In order for the cardboard cut outs to have a more realistic feel... the NFL stars were coached by 2D TV Sports talking heads... if I’m not mistaken Peyton Manning is channelling his inner Dutchy...
The homeless World Cup of soccer starts next week to which the CFLPA has objected saying they could at least have considered offering football...
The NY Jets are being investigated by the NFL after reports they harassed a Mexican female reporter at a recent practice. The Jets have apologized saying they thought she was a woman applying to be baby momma # 9 for cornerback Antonio Cromartie
NY Jets corner back Antonio Cromartie was asked about NE Patriots wide receiver Randy Moss asking for more money to take care of his family. Cromartie asked for a moment to take off his shoes to determine how much child support he has to pay...
During the Chicago Blackhawks playoff run each time they scored a goal a song by the band The Fratellis was played. The band has since split up citing the usual... salary cap restrictions.
Discussions are underway to set up an expansion draft for an Ottawa football franchise that is scheduled to return to the CFL for the 2013 season. Each team is expected to place 4 players in the pool but the CFL rejected Edmonton’s request to place 44.
A TV company is promoting their new 3D sets using a cardboard cut out of NFL stars falling down. In order for the cardboard cut outs to have a more realistic feel... the NFL stars were coached by 2D TV Sports talking heads... if I’m not mistaken Peyton Manning is channelling his inner Dutchy...
The homeless World Cup of soccer starts next week to which the CFLPA has objected saying they could at least have considered offering football...
The NY Jets are being investigated by the NFL after reports they harassed a Mexican female reporter at a recent practice. The Jets have apologized saying they thought she was a woman applying to be baby momma # 9 for cornerback Antonio Cromartie
NY Jets corner back Antonio Cromartie was asked about NE Patriots wide receiver Randy Moss asking for more money to take care of his family. Cromartie asked for a moment to take off his shoes to determine how much child support he has to pay...
During the Chicago Blackhawks playoff run each time they scored a goal a song by the band The Fratellis was played. The band has since split up citing the usual... salary cap restrictions.
Discussions are underway to set up an expansion draft for an Ottawa football franchise that is scheduled to return to the CFL for the 2013 season. Each team is expected to place 4 players in the pool but the CFL rejected Edmonton’s request to place 44.
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