June 17 2007

The US Open is the type of tournament duffers everywhere dream of participating in. When 26 over par can get you in the money it makes our professional dreams seem a step closer. The original cut on the US Open at the Oakmont course back in 1927 was 31 over par or as Phil Mickelson called it “wishful thinking”.

You know it’s going to be a long day when one of the selections from your golf bag is a weed whacker. Seeing the players lose their tempers when they ended up in the rough now explains to me the origin of the word crabgrass. It takes a special kind of caddy to work the US Open because in addition to raking the traps they have to reiki the golfers.

I felt sorry for Pittsburgh native Jim Furyk’s decision to use a driver on 17 instead of an iron, which in hindsight was an inaccurate selection.

After failing to win after trailing for the 28th time in a tournament, maybe it is good to have a Tiger on your tail.

Now not to say NBC’s coverage of the Open was focused too much on Tiger but you had to chuckle when, while waiting to see Tiger tee off, an audible cheer could be heard in the background. Asked one golfing head to the other “What do you think that was”? If I had to guess it would be someone else winning the tournament!

Some of the recent advancements in humanity give me hope and others… well…

What gives me hope is how much attention is being given to the incredible racing season rookie driver Josh Hamilton is having and how little of it is based on his being the first black driver in 61 years. Jackie Robinson has to be smiling from up above…

What gives me reason to wonder is a report that British researchers are advocating the development of animal/human embryos. This means that potentially the next Tiger Woods could actually be part tiger.

It seems the Federal Conservative Government is trying to put a little tiger in their tank by sponsoring a car in the Canadian Tire NASCAR series. Driver Pierre Borque says the car is competitive although it does have a tendency to suddenly veer right.

What would a modern day sports column be without a passing reference to bodily fluids?
So I wonder, is it just a coincidence that Calgary is opening a new urology clinic the same time as they hire “piss and vinegar” coach Mike Keenan?

And Troy Ellerman the former commissioner of the Professional Rodeo Cowboys Association has been found guilty of leaking confidential urology reports. The judge in the case has rejected his attorneys’ plea deal saying it was too watered down.

With all of the athletes cooperating with the courts on drug testing it might be time to change the name from plea deal to pee deal.

Now a story that gives hope to every frustrated parent who thought their kid was wasting their time. Video gamers are excited over the formation of a professional league and the first ever draft of players will be held in the Playboy mansion. This could have a profound effect on athletics everywhere. What kid wants to risk injury when they can get paid to be surrounded by Bunnies and play with their joystick? Sports writers across the country are crying foul arguing that they have the copy write on sitting on their butts while being paid to virtually direct the players.

The press is still in a righteous snit over the actions of Prince Harry at a recent visit to the Cowboys Nightclub. I personally don’t know what all the fuss is about. He was just engaging in one of his fathers’ favorite sports…bird watching. Apparently he has developed an interest in the rare double breasted mattress-thumper. I know…cheep shot!

It seems like in tennis as in love breaking up is hard to duo. Longtime doubles tennis partners Daniel Nestor and Mark Knowles had announced earlier they would be splitting up after the upcoming Wimbledon Tournament. Those plans it seems are on hold after winning the French Open and Queens Club event. Nestor now says that due to their recent success he wants to wait until the end of the year before he starts play with his new partner Nenad Zimonjic of Serbia. That must be the sporting equivalent to telling your mistress you will marry her after your wife has collected her inheritance.

After watching my beloved Saskatchewan Roughrider dismantle the BC Lions in a pre-season contest, is it too late to get a seat for the home playoff game? I’m pretty sure I was genetically programmed at birth for cheering for losing teams. My other favorites are the Chicago Cubs and Alberta New Democrats.

What is it with the Cubs this year and all the fighting? First there is the altercation between their own pitcher and catcher, then manager Lou Pinella gets into a scuffle with the umpires and this weekend Derrick Lee is throwing punches at San Diego pitcher Chris Young. The saddest part of that altercation had to be that it was the first no-hitter by a Cub in years. And what was with Carlos Zambrano taking off his belt in the middle of the scrum? It looked like he was either going to administer some corporal punishment or award the WWF heavy weight title.

The Edmonton Oilers have sent out an 8 minute video to potential free agents extolling the virtues of living in Edmonton. I was a little surprised when I realized it was narrated by Chris Pronger. The video was to be a sort of “virtual Welcome Wagon” for potential players as the real one is still stuck in a snowdrift.

Finally, isn’t it great to see sports can be such a unifying force in our country? With the Montreal Canadians trading Sergei Samsonov to Chicago all of Quebec can agree on a separation.