CBC had picture trouble for the 3rd game of the Pittsburgh Detroit playoff game with officials saying the Governments purchase of GM resulted in some budget reductions so CBC was forced to download the feed with slow speed connections.
The French Open women’s finalists all have names that end in A after the entry from Canada was eliminated eh?
Top 5 birthday gift suggestions for Gary Bettman
# 5 An i-Phone to replace his Blackberry
# 4 A new pair of rose coloured glasses
# 3 Another cost cutting lockout
# 2 An autographed portrait of Napoleon
# 1 The new book “I’m OK you’re probably going bankrupt”
A high performance hockey program for women headquartered in Calgary has been cancelled with officials citing budget concerns, scheduling conflicts and surprise women had spare time away from the kitchen to play hockey.
Yahoo is suing the NFL claiming they have the rights to use the players statistics for their on line pool. A spokesman for the NFL was incensed saying betting is illegal and even worse they are not paying the big.
Canada has moved up to 83 in world rankings for soccer thus guaranteeing them a place in the Canadian Soccer Hall of Fame.
Motown would have loved watching the last Detroit Pittsburgh game and would probably have a hit with a song titled “Too many men”.
Health groups across Canada are worried about the wait times to access an MRI with life threatening illness taking weeks to diagnose, serious conditions put on a hold for months and potentially sprained ankles for professional athletes taking over 2 hours.
The NY Yankees set a record for the longest error free streak in baseball because as groupies everywhere know this team has great hands.
Cleveland Browns receiver Donte Stallworth was in court to enter a plea in his manslaughter trial and in a surprise move offered to dedicate his season to the man he ran over in return for a discharge. The family denied the request saying the chances of Donto having a bang-up year were hit and miss at best.
If convicted Donte could spend 15 years in prison and have way more guys in his huddle.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Taxing Race
After seeing how fans cheered when alleged tax evader Helio Castroneves won the Indy 500 President Obama announced plans for future cabinet picks to run in a similar race the Income Avoidance 500.
The RCMP hired a video expert to break down the video of a man being tazered to death to show he was in fact at some point threatening. This is the same evidence given by management of the Chicago Blackhawks to show Detroit defenseman Nicolas Cromwell meant to hurt Martin Havlat.
Havlat says he doesn’t know Kromwell personally but his face rings his bell.
I felt like a really old man when I was watching the NHL playoffs and kept telling the kids in my day coaches didn’t complain every time someone on their team was hit.
Hearing all the stories about the prowess of NBA players in picking up the women in Clubs who would have thought the Denver Nuggets would lose 2 games because they couldn’t make a last second pass?
Isn’t Jim Balsillie officially submitting for an NHL franchise with the league like Hannibal Lector formally applying for a Diners Club Card?
Chicago Blackhawks coach Joel Quinville says a roughing minor during a scrum was “The worst call in the history of Sport”. The NHL fined Joel and in a press release called his histrionics the worst case of referee baiting in the history of civilization.
After winning the Memorial Cup the Windsor Spitfire were asked to reduce their celebrations by 40% if they expect to be competitive with other Jr. Hockey franchises.
Pat Quinn was named coach of the Edmonton Oilers thus increasing the average age of the team by 6 years. Pat’s last job was with the World Jr. team and takes over a club that is younger.
Quinn says he got along great while coaching the juniors and the kids especially loved his stories about how he used to walk to practice in the winter, barefoot, against the wind, uphill, both ways.
Officials from Whistler say there are still plenty of rooms available for the Olympics and prices have stabilized with rates ranging from your first born, right arm and left testicle.
Jose Canseco was beaten in just over a minute in his UFC fight and says he wanted to go further but because of the steroids he didn’t have the balls.
Calgary Flames GM Darryl Sutter says he doesn’t use Twitter calling it too wordy.
Top 5 signs your NHL coach is old
# 5 Still uses a wooden stick, for discipline
# 4 Calls Larry King a young puppy
# 3 Played defence with Chris Chelios
# 2 When he scrolls down his roster uses an actual scroll
# 1 Spend time with the video coach to watch the moving pictures
A Toronto family is trying to authenticate a stick believed to have been signed by the 1924 Olympic hockey team. The stick was given to their grandmother a reminder of a time when players gave groupies a different shaft.
Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Anquan Boldin has filed papers to fire his agent saying his current contract negotiations reflect a sanity and value not congruent with his beliefs.
Calgary Police have added 50 new officers to perform foot patrols saying they had nothing to do on the Red Mile so they thought they might look for criminals.
Manny Ramirez went 10 days before meeting with teammates to apologize over his recent positive drug test. A spokesman for the team was unconcerned by the delay putting it down to female problems.
Top 5 signs your star player is taking female fertility drugs
# 5 Refuses to go out with teammates saying he is nesting
# 4 Signs an endorsement deal with a sports bra manufacturer
# 3 Hires Martha Stewart to redecorate his locker
# 2 Complains about water retention
# 1 Constantly asking teammates if the uniform makes his ass look big
Pittsburgh Penguins captain Sidney Crosby grabbed the conference final trophy breaking from tradition that says the only trophy you grab is your wife.
A Phoenix judge handling the NHL case says he will address the 10,000 pound gorilla in the room and then asked Keith Tzchuck for his opinion.
The first grants have been handed out by a group of professional sports to research anti doping practices. The grants will determine the overall affect on attendance when athletes are unable to bench press 900 pounds.
The Toronto Blue Jays lost 9 games in a row and with 4 more defeats hope to qualify for federal bailout money.
The only people to strike out more than the Blue Jays on their road trip were the Star Trek fan club of Regina on their way to Comic Con.
The RCMP hired a video expert to break down the video of a man being tazered to death to show he was in fact at some point threatening. This is the same evidence given by management of the Chicago Blackhawks to show Detroit defenseman Nicolas Cromwell meant to hurt Martin Havlat.
Havlat says he doesn’t know Kromwell personally but his face rings his bell.
I felt like a really old man when I was watching the NHL playoffs and kept telling the kids in my day coaches didn’t complain every time someone on their team was hit.
Hearing all the stories about the prowess of NBA players in picking up the women in Clubs who would have thought the Denver Nuggets would lose 2 games because they couldn’t make a last second pass?
Isn’t Jim Balsillie officially submitting for an NHL franchise with the league like Hannibal Lector formally applying for a Diners Club Card?
Chicago Blackhawks coach Joel Quinville says a roughing minor during a scrum was “The worst call in the history of Sport”. The NHL fined Joel and in a press release called his histrionics the worst case of referee baiting in the history of civilization.
After winning the Memorial Cup the Windsor Spitfire were asked to reduce their celebrations by 40% if they expect to be competitive with other Jr. Hockey franchises.
Pat Quinn was named coach of the Edmonton Oilers thus increasing the average age of the team by 6 years. Pat’s last job was with the World Jr. team and takes over a club that is younger.
Quinn says he got along great while coaching the juniors and the kids especially loved his stories about how he used to walk to practice in the winter, barefoot, against the wind, uphill, both ways.
Officials from Whistler say there are still plenty of rooms available for the Olympics and prices have stabilized with rates ranging from your first born, right arm and left testicle.
Jose Canseco was beaten in just over a minute in his UFC fight and says he wanted to go further but because of the steroids he didn’t have the balls.
Calgary Flames GM Darryl Sutter says he doesn’t use Twitter calling it too wordy.
Top 5 signs your NHL coach is old
# 5 Still uses a wooden stick, for discipline
# 4 Calls Larry King a young puppy
# 3 Played defence with Chris Chelios
# 2 When he scrolls down his roster uses an actual scroll
# 1 Spend time with the video coach to watch the moving pictures
A Toronto family is trying to authenticate a stick believed to have been signed by the 1924 Olympic hockey team. The stick was given to their grandmother a reminder of a time when players gave groupies a different shaft.
Arizona Cardinals wide receiver Anquan Boldin has filed papers to fire his agent saying his current contract negotiations reflect a sanity and value not congruent with his beliefs.
Calgary Police have added 50 new officers to perform foot patrols saying they had nothing to do on the Red Mile so they thought they might look for criminals.
Manny Ramirez went 10 days before meeting with teammates to apologize over his recent positive drug test. A spokesman for the team was unconcerned by the delay putting it down to female problems.
Top 5 signs your star player is taking female fertility drugs
# 5 Refuses to go out with teammates saying he is nesting
# 4 Signs an endorsement deal with a sports bra manufacturer
# 3 Hires Martha Stewart to redecorate his locker
# 2 Complains about water retention
# 1 Constantly asking teammates if the uniform makes his ass look big
Pittsburgh Penguins captain Sidney Crosby grabbed the conference final trophy breaking from tradition that says the only trophy you grab is your wife.
A Phoenix judge handling the NHL case says he will address the 10,000 pound gorilla in the room and then asked Keith Tzchuck for his opinion.
The first grants have been handed out by a group of professional sports to research anti doping practices. The grants will determine the overall affect on attendance when athletes are unable to bench press 900 pounds.
The Toronto Blue Jays lost 9 games in a row and with 4 more defeats hope to qualify for federal bailout money.
The only people to strike out more than the Blue Jays on their road trip were the Star Trek fan club of Regina on their way to Comic Con.
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Moat Point
It has been alleged the NHL was in control of the Phoenix Coyotes since last November thus adding fire to the rumour Gary Bettman wanted to stop any Canadian team from winning the Stanley Cup by trading Ollie Joiken to Calgary.
Seeing Brian Mulroney, Jim Balsillie and Gary Bettman going to court to protect their good names is a lot like going to a brothel to protect your virginity.
A court has given the Washington Redskins the right to use their name despite opposition from Native groups who say the name is an insult to them. This clears the way for the name of a potential NHL franchise in Ontario to be called the really really really white skins.
The lack of playoff hockey for Canadians along with the troubles Jim Balsillie has bringing a team to Ontario is the focus of a new reality TV show “Hockey Not in Canada”.
Despite only 100 people showing up for a Save the Coyotes rally the NHL was ecstatic saying actual paid attendance was well over 16,000.
The NHL says they have plans to move the Coyotes to Winnipeg ahead of Hamilton. Of course Honolulu Hawaii, Waco Texas and Acapulco Mexico are ahead of Winnipeg.
A report out from Washington said briefings on the war in Iraq for the President contained verses from the Bible. This is similar to verses found in most NFL playbooks advising them to go forth and multiply.
Michael Vick has been released to a half way house but the restrictions imposed will keep him on a short leash. About all he can do is sit around the house, walk to his probation officer and fetch his paper.
Roger Goddel has come out strongly against betting on NFL games and gave the chances of it becoming legal at best 2:1 odds.
Michael Phelps says he wants to compete in more events in the future but as of now it is only a pipe dream.
Mediation talks between the NHL and representatives from the Phoenix Coyotes took a strange turn when the mediator suggested potential owner Jim Balsillie just fly the 100 hardcore Phoenix fans to Hamilton for each game.
The Frenchmen in charge of the International Swimming Federation have rejected over 40% of the designs of competitive swim suits. They demanded manufacturers make changes to the suits and have them modeled at a later date preferably by women from the SI Swimsuit Edition.
Officials say they are contemplating extreme changes to swimsuits including banning zippers, less permeable fabric and outlawing Quebec tourists from wearing Speedos while watching beach volleyball.
Top 3 reasons to watch TSN2
# 3 Twice as many Toronto losses in prime time
# 2 Constant updates from TSN1
# 1 You can’t remember when to hold them or fold them
What are the chances of Michael Vick getting a show on Spike TV?
Cultural differences were in evidence this week when an English politician resigned over reports he used taxpayer money to clean his moat while NHL owners who receive millions in taxpayer support applauded Commissioner Gary Bettman for trying to erect one around the Phoenix Coyotes.
The NHL is still claiming they have additional suitors for the Phoenix Coyotes and still haven’t met with all the referrals from Match.com.
Seeing Brian Mulroney, Jim Balsillie and Gary Bettman going to court to protect their good names is a lot like going to a brothel to protect your virginity.
A court has given the Washington Redskins the right to use their name despite opposition from Native groups who say the name is an insult to them. This clears the way for the name of a potential NHL franchise in Ontario to be called the really really really white skins.
The lack of playoff hockey for Canadians along with the troubles Jim Balsillie has bringing a team to Ontario is the focus of a new reality TV show “Hockey Not in Canada”.
Despite only 100 people showing up for a Save the Coyotes rally the NHL was ecstatic saying actual paid attendance was well over 16,000.
The NHL says they have plans to move the Coyotes to Winnipeg ahead of Hamilton. Of course Honolulu Hawaii, Waco Texas and Acapulco Mexico are ahead of Winnipeg.
A report out from Washington said briefings on the war in Iraq for the President contained verses from the Bible. This is similar to verses found in most NFL playbooks advising them to go forth and multiply.
Michael Vick has been released to a half way house but the restrictions imposed will keep him on a short leash. About all he can do is sit around the house, walk to his probation officer and fetch his paper.
Roger Goddel has come out strongly against betting on NFL games and gave the chances of it becoming legal at best 2:1 odds.
Michael Phelps says he wants to compete in more events in the future but as of now it is only a pipe dream.
Mediation talks between the NHL and representatives from the Phoenix Coyotes took a strange turn when the mediator suggested potential owner Jim Balsillie just fly the 100 hardcore Phoenix fans to Hamilton for each game.
The Frenchmen in charge of the International Swimming Federation have rejected over 40% of the designs of competitive swim suits. They demanded manufacturers make changes to the suits and have them modeled at a later date preferably by women from the SI Swimsuit Edition.
Officials say they are contemplating extreme changes to swimsuits including banning zippers, less permeable fabric and outlawing Quebec tourists from wearing Speedos while watching beach volleyball.
Top 3 reasons to watch TSN2
# 3 Twice as many Toronto losses in prime time
# 2 Constant updates from TSN1
# 1 You can’t remember when to hold them or fold them
What are the chances of Michael Vick getting a show on Spike TV?
Cultural differences were in evidence this week when an English politician resigned over reports he used taxpayer money to clean his moat while NHL owners who receive millions in taxpayer support applauded Commissioner Gary Bettman for trying to erect one around the Phoenix Coyotes.
The NHL is still claiming they have additional suitors for the Phoenix Coyotes and still haven’t met with all the referrals from Match.com.
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
Stroke Play!
A new drug has been developed that has been shown to help increase memory functions of mice. The drug is said to be successful except the mice still refuse to admit they were injected by their trainers.
Michael Phelps was in the news when a stripper said she had a 3- some with Phelps and another woman that lasted over 3 hours. Asked to comment his coach said he was happy that Michael was finally devoting some time to improving his stroke.
Kentucky Derby winner Mine that Bird must have felt jilted when the jockey that rode him to victory flipped him the bird for another mount in the Preakness.
A member of the International Olympic Committee is being investigated for taking kickbacks from marketing deals with the IIHF. Asked to comment IOC officials were stunned saying they had no idea anyone in their organization worked for their bribes.
After being caught taking female fertility drugs Dodgers slugger Manny Ramirez was saddened by his suspension but said he will be back in time for the season’s second trimester.
This is May sweeps week for TV shows with the season finale of House, Lost and Hockey Night in Canada.
Miss California defended herself against allegations she knowingly had topless pictures of herself taken saying the wind was to blame and vowed never to pose in the right field of Yankee Stadium again.
Sean Avery has been hired by the NHL radio network to give his opinions on the playoffs. This is an attempt to give Avery a forum and at the same time pay for part of his anger management program.
It is hoped the stuff coming out of Avery’s mouth will be drowned out by all the other idiot shock jocks on the air.
The Phoenix Coyotes are having a rally to support keeping their team and as in a clever marketing hook are trying to see if they can break the record for the most people in a phone booth.
New NFL Players Association executive director DeMaurice Smith has finally signed his contract and says the delay was due to discrepancies in his B sample signature.
The NHL has determined Carolina Panthers forward Scott Walker didn’t deserve a suspension for his sucker punch on Boston Bruins defenseman Aaron Ward. They say after reviewing the tapes with officials from the RCMP it was possible a stapler was involved.
Toronto Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke is trying desperately to trade up in the draft to get John Taverres saying no player is untouchable especially the ones who didn’t get touched all of last year.
The girlfriend of Dallas Mavericks star Dirk Nowitzki who is under arrest for services fraud has been linked to other professional athletes. Former Dallas Star forward Sean Avery is being questioned to see if she was one of his exes.
Top 3 least popular Mothers Day gifts
# 3 Court side seats with Mark Cuban
# 2 A conjical visit with Travis Henry
# 1 Being introduced to your daughters new fiancée Sean Avery
I thought they had outlawed torture in Washington but I guess nobody told the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Michael Phelps was in the news when a stripper said she had a 3- some with Phelps and another woman that lasted over 3 hours. Asked to comment his coach said he was happy that Michael was finally devoting some time to improving his stroke.
Kentucky Derby winner Mine that Bird must have felt jilted when the jockey that rode him to victory flipped him the bird for another mount in the Preakness.
A member of the International Olympic Committee is being investigated for taking kickbacks from marketing deals with the IIHF. Asked to comment IOC officials were stunned saying they had no idea anyone in their organization worked for their bribes.
After being caught taking female fertility drugs Dodgers slugger Manny Ramirez was saddened by his suspension but said he will be back in time for the season’s second trimester.
This is May sweeps week for TV shows with the season finale of House, Lost and Hockey Night in Canada.
Miss California defended herself against allegations she knowingly had topless pictures of herself taken saying the wind was to blame and vowed never to pose in the right field of Yankee Stadium again.
Sean Avery has been hired by the NHL radio network to give his opinions on the playoffs. This is an attempt to give Avery a forum and at the same time pay for part of his anger management program.
It is hoped the stuff coming out of Avery’s mouth will be drowned out by all the other idiot shock jocks on the air.
The Phoenix Coyotes are having a rally to support keeping their team and as in a clever marketing hook are trying to see if they can break the record for the most people in a phone booth.
New NFL Players Association executive director DeMaurice Smith has finally signed his contract and says the delay was due to discrepancies in his B sample signature.
The NHL has determined Carolina Panthers forward Scott Walker didn’t deserve a suspension for his sucker punch on Boston Bruins defenseman Aaron Ward. They say after reviewing the tapes with officials from the RCMP it was possible a stapler was involved.
Toronto Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke is trying desperately to trade up in the draft to get John Taverres saying no player is untouchable especially the ones who didn’t get touched all of last year.
The girlfriend of Dallas Mavericks star Dirk Nowitzki who is under arrest for services fraud has been linked to other professional athletes. Former Dallas Star forward Sean Avery is being questioned to see if she was one of his exes.
Top 3 least popular Mothers Day gifts
# 3 Court side seats with Mark Cuban
# 2 A conjical visit with Travis Henry
# 1 Being introduced to your daughters new fiancée Sean Avery
I thought they had outlawed torture in Washington but I guess nobody told the Pittsburgh Penguins.
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
Got Milk?
With Terrell Owens leaving the Dallas Cowboys who would have thought it would be another blow hard bringing down their practice?
You know your Stanley Cup playoff mustache is a bit lean when you go out and everyone asks “Got Milk”?
US lawmakers spent Friday demanding College Football adopt a playoff system saying this will clear up any problems currently affecting the United States.
As a nod to the swine flu epidemic congress admitted this was the second worse pigskin related tragedy of the year after their hearings on BCS playoffs.
Gary Bettman says he can’t see the Phoenix Coyotes moving anytime soon saying he has to wait until the housing market bounces back so he can recover his condo investment.
Jim Balsille says he will pay $225 million for the bankrupt Coyotes or roughly the cost of anti depressants needed for Bettman.
Scientists have created an F-1 car that runs on chocolate and is capable of speeds up to 235 kph. The only problem is the car gains weight every time it consumes a tank.
Hollywood has been quick to react to the chocolate powered car with a new show on converting your car called “Pimple my ride”.
Not sure who has the bigger claws Gary Bettman or Wolverine.
This must be a weekend for time warps with Star Trek re-writing their history or the NHL reinventing their franchise rules.
On Tuesday the NHL denies they are in control of the Phoenix Coyotes yet on Thursday they say the club can’t be put into receivership because they are in control. Listening to Bettman you wonder how lawyers ever got their bad name.
Bettman says he was only an hour away from an agreement that would have paid all the Coyotes debt and kept the team in Phoenix. He later went on to say he was especially sorry for the children as he planned to unveil a live Unicorn at the press conference.
Top 5 signs you may not get an NHL franchise
# 5 You’re Canadian
# 4 You increased the NHL’s Blackberry contract price
# 3 You have millions of fans who would actually pay to watch a game
# 2 There is ice in winter where you live
# 1 You texted the Commissioner a shot of your butt
The European Union has banned the sale of seal products saying they are dispatched cruelly which is also the reason LA Clipper games aren’t televised.
You know your Stanley Cup playoff mustache is a bit lean when you go out and everyone asks “Got Milk”?
US lawmakers spent Friday demanding College Football adopt a playoff system saying this will clear up any problems currently affecting the United States.
As a nod to the swine flu epidemic congress admitted this was the second worse pigskin related tragedy of the year after their hearings on BCS playoffs.
Gary Bettman says he can’t see the Phoenix Coyotes moving anytime soon saying he has to wait until the housing market bounces back so he can recover his condo investment.
Jim Balsille says he will pay $225 million for the bankrupt Coyotes or roughly the cost of anti depressants needed for Bettman.
Scientists have created an F-1 car that runs on chocolate and is capable of speeds up to 235 kph. The only problem is the car gains weight every time it consumes a tank.
Hollywood has been quick to react to the chocolate powered car with a new show on converting your car called “Pimple my ride”.
Not sure who has the bigger claws Gary Bettman or Wolverine.
This must be a weekend for time warps with Star Trek re-writing their history or the NHL reinventing their franchise rules.
On Tuesday the NHL denies they are in control of the Phoenix Coyotes yet on Thursday they say the club can’t be put into receivership because they are in control. Listening to Bettman you wonder how lawyers ever got their bad name.
Bettman says he was only an hour away from an agreement that would have paid all the Coyotes debt and kept the team in Phoenix. He later went on to say he was especially sorry for the children as he planned to unveil a live Unicorn at the press conference.
Top 5 signs you may not get an NHL franchise
# 5 You’re Canadian
# 4 You increased the NHL’s Blackberry contract price
# 3 You have millions of fans who would actually pay to watch a game
# 2 There is ice in winter where you live
# 1 You texted the Commissioner a shot of your butt
The European Union has banned the sale of seal products saying they are dispatched cruelly which is also the reason LA Clipper games aren’t televised.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Bank on it!
GM is running a new ad asking people to buy their cars while promising to have a really good one, the Volt, available in 2010. GM says they came up with the idea when an executive received his invoice for Toronto Maple Leafs season tickets.
It seemed fitting that Detroit would pay millions for an unproven player that might make a difference in a few years. After the draft fans of the Lions sent a petition to President Obama asking him to sack the teams CEO.
You know you have the next great lineman when he is listed on Google Earth.
Soccer star David Beckham has been named the richest athlete in the UK and has inspired a new movie “Bank it like Beckham”.
Mexico is in the grips of a very serious outbreak of swine flu and I feel embarrassed because I thought swine flu was when you got sick of athletes hamming it up in front of the camera.
A lawyer for the IOC says if a judge rules female ski jumpers must be allowed to compete in the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver Canada will never again host the Games, thus saving taxpayers millions.
In what had to be an omen a construction site near the Saddledome in Calgary became a sinkhole prior to Saturdays game with the Blackhawks.
The Canadian tumbling team had its best ever International results with the coach crediting their performance on following the Montreal Canadians from the All Star break on.
For his 100th birthday Arthur Giddon became the batboy for the Boston Red Sox. Mr. Giddon is looking forward to next year as he will play the point on the Red Wings power play.
The American team at the World Hockey Championships were given a scare when underdog Latvia nearly pulled off the upset giving coach Ron Wilson the feeling of being at home.
Being from Saskatchewan I can relate to Winnipeg Blue Bombers coach Mike Kelly calling my Province the crotch of Canada and looking at my map I see Manitoba is right behind us.
A Slovakian hockey player has been charged with murder after allegedly killed a referee and buried his body in a park. Asked why he did the act the defendant was unrepentant saying deep down referees are good people.
The NFL is denying they are having trouble attracting sponsors despite having to run informercials for “Sham Wow” during their televised draft saying the product in invaluable to help the new multi-millionaires polish their Porches.
The Alberta Government is taking heat over the increase in wait times to get into Emergency wards but a spokesman says now that the Flames season is over they expect to see a lot less traffic.
Native leaders visiting the Pope this week were surprised at his understanding of their plight with him expressing regret for the Residential Schools, concern over housing conditions and support for the Blackhawks in the playoffs.
Officials in the US are advising citizens to avoid large crowds during the swine flu scare and are suggesting they stay home or stick to sparsely populated areas like the Yankee box seats.
Chinese officials say blood samples re-tested from the Beijing Olympics have come back positive on some medal winners. Olympic officials say the problem was due to the inability of testers to get the lead out.
The NHL has loaned money to the Phoenix Coyotes in keeping with Commissioner Gary Bettmans “no owner left behind” program. Bettman insists the franchise is still viable and hopes next year the players will understand the need to sell ice in a desert when they take an expected 99% claw back on their salaries.
Top 3 spectator souvenirs from the last weekend in sports
# 3 NASCAR driver Carl Edwards tailpipe
# 2 NY Rangers coach John Tortella’s water bottle
# 1 The Calgary Flames salary cap
A new restaurant has opened that is run by former convicts called Felony Franks. Asked to comment former Atlanta Falcons QB Michael Vick said “hot dog”.
It seemed fitting that Detroit would pay millions for an unproven player that might make a difference in a few years. After the draft fans of the Lions sent a petition to President Obama asking him to sack the teams CEO.
You know you have the next great lineman when he is listed on Google Earth.
Soccer star David Beckham has been named the richest athlete in the UK and has inspired a new movie “Bank it like Beckham”.
Mexico is in the grips of a very serious outbreak of swine flu and I feel embarrassed because I thought swine flu was when you got sick of athletes hamming it up in front of the camera.
A lawyer for the IOC says if a judge rules female ski jumpers must be allowed to compete in the 2010 Olympics in Vancouver Canada will never again host the Games, thus saving taxpayers millions.
In what had to be an omen a construction site near the Saddledome in Calgary became a sinkhole prior to Saturdays game with the Blackhawks.
The Canadian tumbling team had its best ever International results with the coach crediting their performance on following the Montreal Canadians from the All Star break on.
For his 100th birthday Arthur Giddon became the batboy for the Boston Red Sox. Mr. Giddon is looking forward to next year as he will play the point on the Red Wings power play.
The American team at the World Hockey Championships were given a scare when underdog Latvia nearly pulled off the upset giving coach Ron Wilson the feeling of being at home.
Being from Saskatchewan I can relate to Winnipeg Blue Bombers coach Mike Kelly calling my Province the crotch of Canada and looking at my map I see Manitoba is right behind us.
A Slovakian hockey player has been charged with murder after allegedly killed a referee and buried his body in a park. Asked why he did the act the defendant was unrepentant saying deep down referees are good people.
The NFL is denying they are having trouble attracting sponsors despite having to run informercials for “Sham Wow” during their televised draft saying the product in invaluable to help the new multi-millionaires polish their Porches.
The Alberta Government is taking heat over the increase in wait times to get into Emergency wards but a spokesman says now that the Flames season is over they expect to see a lot less traffic.
Native leaders visiting the Pope this week were surprised at his understanding of their plight with him expressing regret for the Residential Schools, concern over housing conditions and support for the Blackhawks in the playoffs.
Officials in the US are advising citizens to avoid large crowds during the swine flu scare and are suggesting they stay home or stick to sparsely populated areas like the Yankee box seats.
Chinese officials say blood samples re-tested from the Beijing Olympics have come back positive on some medal winners. Olympic officials say the problem was due to the inability of testers to get the lead out.
The NHL has loaned money to the Phoenix Coyotes in keeping with Commissioner Gary Bettmans “no owner left behind” program. Bettman insists the franchise is still viable and hopes next year the players will understand the need to sell ice in a desert when they take an expected 99% claw back on their salaries.
Top 3 spectator souvenirs from the last weekend in sports
# 3 NASCAR driver Carl Edwards tailpipe
# 2 NY Rangers coach John Tortella’s water bottle
# 1 The Calgary Flames salary cap
A new restaurant has opened that is run by former convicts called Felony Franks. Asked to comment former Atlanta Falcons QB Michael Vick said “hot dog”.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
A way too active stick!
The Toronto Argonauts are upset with Rogers Communication asking for more NFL games saying they had a “Gentleman’s agreement” to limit the number to 8. When asked about this Rogers said it was more of a “Gentleman’s Club” agreement where it was understood they will try to strip every dollar from gullible fans.
If the NY Jets are going to change the start time of a game to allow people to be at home in time for the Jewish day of atonement, shouldn’t the Maple Leafs start playing now to make up for last year?
Roger Millions of Sportsnet was caught on tape accidentally uttering a beauty of a curse after messing up a segment. The clip was viewed over 45,000 times on YouTube or roughly the same number of people who watched Sportsnet all of last year.
I’m a little confused over the new terms being bandied about during the NHL playoffs as I thought an active stick is what got Travis Henry into so much trouble.
The US is asking Canada to send them some F-16 Fighters but there is some resistance as the last time we sent them some Jets they never came back to Winnipeg.
Some people were questioning Sean Avery chirping at Washington goalie Simeon Varlamov because he doesn’t speak English but ask any Psychiatrist and they will tell you crazy is a universal language.
Calgary and Chicago celebrated Earth Day with each team suggesting the other take a hike, jump in a lake or consume some naturally occurring fertilizer.
Michael Phelps says he will unveil a new freestyle stroke at the next meet. Phelps says he saw how to get extra reach in the move when he was passing the bong over the head of some dudes to a really hot blond.
You know the hockey fans of Montreal were dejected when after their playoff defeat to Boston they didn’t even have the heart left to burn and pillage the streets.
Top 5 worst trash talk lines
# 5 Your eyes look so blue with that helmet
# 4 Mom says she loves me more
# 3 Your carpet doesn’t match your drapes
# 2 You couldn’t even get a decent job with Vogue
# 1 Oh Yeah?
If the NY Jets are going to change the start time of a game to allow people to be at home in time for the Jewish day of atonement, shouldn’t the Maple Leafs start playing now to make up for last year?
Roger Millions of Sportsnet was caught on tape accidentally uttering a beauty of a curse after messing up a segment. The clip was viewed over 45,000 times on YouTube or roughly the same number of people who watched Sportsnet all of last year.
I’m a little confused over the new terms being bandied about during the NHL playoffs as I thought an active stick is what got Travis Henry into so much trouble.
The US is asking Canada to send them some F-16 Fighters but there is some resistance as the last time we sent them some Jets they never came back to Winnipeg.
Some people were questioning Sean Avery chirping at Washington goalie Simeon Varlamov because he doesn’t speak English but ask any Psychiatrist and they will tell you crazy is a universal language.
Calgary and Chicago celebrated Earth Day with each team suggesting the other take a hike, jump in a lake or consume some naturally occurring fertilizer.
Michael Phelps says he will unveil a new freestyle stroke at the next meet. Phelps says he saw how to get extra reach in the move when he was passing the bong over the head of some dudes to a really hot blond.
You know the hockey fans of Montreal were dejected when after their playoff defeat to Boston they didn’t even have the heart left to burn and pillage the streets.
Top 5 worst trash talk lines
# 5 Your eyes look so blue with that helmet
# 4 Mom says she loves me more
# 3 Your carpet doesn’t match your drapes
# 2 You couldn’t even get a decent job with Vogue
# 1 Oh Yeah?
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