If the CFL like all sports enterprises is trying to cultivate alternative revenue sources they should look into licensing erectile drugs like Cialis, Viagra or Molsons ... as part of an on air running promotion with the announcers... because no one mentions scoring, drilling or hooking up more than the TSN crew...
The Toronto Raptors waived forward-centre Dwayne Jones on Monday. It was a shock to Raptor fans who expected the five-year NBA veteran who has averaged 1.3 points in 82 career games to replace the scoring of Hedo Turkoglu
The Province of Ontario has given approval for future Mixed Martial Arts fighting MME saying they decided to follow the lead of California and license all forms of same sex couplings...
The reasons given for licensing MME events was said to be economic as the Province was billions of dollars in the red and needed to balance it out with a moral deficit as well...
The Province says they will reap a windfall in tourism, broadcast rights, fees and registrations and say additional expertise will be gained in the area of performance enhancing drug development, speech therapy and of course the practical experience with brain injuries...
Tourism officials are test marketing a new slogan for the Province... Ontario come for the mindless savagery and stay because you can't walk or remember where you are going...
Alberta was considering allowing MME events but even the calf ropers said it was too cruel...
France has come down hard on their World Cup footie team by placing 5 players on suspension and more important limiting smoke breaks during training
Despite a year of poor results Tiger Woods is still #1 in rankings as the PGA... like divorce courts... heavily weigh past performance
Despite getting “many significant and promising offers” the Toronto Maple Leafs have decided to keep Thomas Kaberle and will now go with plan B... losing
Denver Broncos QB Tim Tebow was drilled as he scored during a pre season game with the Cincinnati Bengals causing him to wear a new slogan on his eye black... #@$%&@#
Tebow was nailed in practice causing him to be helped off the field. He then compared the hit to Judas at the Last Supper
Former British PM Tony Blair plans to donate the profits from his memoir to the Royal British Legion to help injured servicemen. No word on if former President George Bush will give any of his profits towards US serviceman when his baseball popup book comes out
Edmonton's Royal Alexandra Hospital emergency department is launching a survey of homeless people in an attempt to find ways to better serve them. One suggestion... pay CFL players a living wage...
A University of Alberta dentistry professor has received a $1-million US grant to continue his research into restoring damaged dental roots using ultrasound and stem cells. The research will be carried out during the NHL season when subjects are readily available
Officials are upset when the ship loaded with refugees from Sri Lanka arrived in Victoria asking for asylum and not a single passenger was able to crack the Canadian National Soccer team line-up
People who collect celebrity memorabilia are anxiously awaiting the weekend, when props and costumes from the TV show Lost go up for auction. This is the second auction for Lost memorabilia after the Edmonton City Council offered equipment from their professional teams
This week represents the end of the Muslim holy month of Ramadan not to be confused with the end of the NFL training camp hook-ups which is known as the Ramada Throng
The Minnesota Twins removed pitcher Kevin Slowey in the 7th inning despite him throwing a no hitter up to that point. This contrasts the Pittsburgh Pirates who in order to remove a pitcher who has a no hitter going does so in the 2nd
A bull in Spain jumped into the stadium during a fight which was the most serious case of bull in a stadium since Mike Kelly left Winnipeg
Minnesota Vikings QB Brett Favre was escorted back to practice by 3 teammates a move which resonated with anyone who has elderly parents as they sometimes wander off and can’t find their way home...
The reason it took 3 players to get Favre back was made clear by team officials... one to pack his bags and 2 to help find the Blackberry his wife hid...
Favre says he decided to unretired in order to spend less time with his family and more quality time sexting the people he lusts
Former Illinois Governor Rod Blagovitch was found not guilty of selling valuable seats in Chicago. Jurors say they were swayed when some of the seats for sale were for Chicago Cubs World Series games
The Potash Corp is under a hostile takeover offer from an Australian company in what is sure to be the biggest battle for a fertilizer based product since LeBron took his talents to Miami
Top 5 rejected rules for the NHL
# 5 Replace the term icing with frosting
# 4 After 10 fights a player is promoted to MME
# 3 Blue lines widened to the thickness of Don Cherry’s collar
# 2 Instigator rule applies if fights don’t start with “Mother may I?”
# 1 Stick curves to be measured against groupies curves
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Friday, August 13, 2010
Weak Kneed
I have heard the Tampa Bay Stadium is a dump but saying it should be replaced because of the catwalk is like saying Boston has to replace Fenway Park because of the Green Monster
Like almost everyone who faced Nolan Ryan from the mound Mark Cuban got the high hard one during negotiations with Ryan over the purchase of the Texas Rangers. In what must have been the financial equivalent of a brush back pitch Ryan was left with ownership of the Rangers and Cuban blaming the media
Lee Westwood who was playing with Tiger Woods, removed himself from the Bridgestone Invitational with an ankle injury after the second round. It was considered by experts to be an improvement as this is the 1st time in weeks someone playing around with Tiger hasn`t been left weak kneed...
In a surprise twist the owner of the Hamilton Tiger Cats says the location of the new stadium is between a site outside Hamilton or one in Phoenix
Houston Texans LB Brian Cushing claims he was experiencing “over trained athlete syndrome” after testing positive for performance enhancing drugs. It’s similar to the condition of Albert Hainsworth except for being the exact opposite
The World Health Organization say they believe the H1N1 Flu has run its course and can now focus on a cure for the Philly Flu
Watching the Jet Blue flight attendant lose his mind makes me wonder why the NBA let this guy slip thorough their scouting
Calgary researchers have created a microchip that "communicates" with brain cells and when implanted in a patient. The 1st question from the chip was “What’s up with the Flames signing Jokinen?”
Phil Mickelson says he is suffering from a rare form of arthritis which makes playing golf very painful. This means that both Phil and Tiger Woods are suffering from the effects of swollen joints
The NY Nets have given their intention to the NBA for a name change in 2 years thus opening up the path for the Brooklyn Roughriders
After voiding the contract offered by the NJ Devils to Alex Kovalchuck the NHL also increased their drug testing policy to now include team owners before and after contract proposals
Like almost everyone who faced Nolan Ryan from the mound Mark Cuban got the high hard one during negotiations with Ryan over the purchase of the Texas Rangers. In what must have been the financial equivalent of a brush back pitch Ryan was left with ownership of the Rangers and Cuban blaming the media
Lee Westwood who was playing with Tiger Woods, removed himself from the Bridgestone Invitational with an ankle injury after the second round. It was considered by experts to be an improvement as this is the 1st time in weeks someone playing around with Tiger hasn`t been left weak kneed...
In a surprise twist the owner of the Hamilton Tiger Cats says the location of the new stadium is between a site outside Hamilton or one in Phoenix
Houston Texans LB Brian Cushing claims he was experiencing “over trained athlete syndrome” after testing positive for performance enhancing drugs. It’s similar to the condition of Albert Hainsworth except for being the exact opposite
The World Health Organization say they believe the H1N1 Flu has run its course and can now focus on a cure for the Philly Flu
Watching the Jet Blue flight attendant lose his mind makes me wonder why the NBA let this guy slip thorough their scouting
Calgary researchers have created a microchip that "communicates" with brain cells and when implanted in a patient. The 1st question from the chip was “What’s up with the Flames signing Jokinen?”
Phil Mickelson says he is suffering from a rare form of arthritis which makes playing golf very painful. This means that both Phil and Tiger Woods are suffering from the effects of swollen joints
The NY Nets have given their intention to the NBA for a name change in 2 years thus opening up the path for the Brooklyn Roughriders
After voiding the contract offered by the NJ Devils to Alex Kovalchuck the NHL also increased their drug testing policy to now include team owners before and after contract proposals
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Alberts Fat Wallet
After a game interrupted by lightning and hail it was only fitting Danny Machochia of the Edmonton Eskimos was let go. At one point ownership said it would take a force of nature to remove him and if you ask any wife of a professional athlete... hail stones on the ground in Edmonton in July is a sign of hell freezing over...
Andy Fantuz tore apart the Hamilton Tigercats defense after the release of his Fantuz Flakes cereal... so much so that they are going to introduce another cereal this time using shreddies
NY Jets cornerback Darrell Revis is sitting out training camp saying he wants to be the highest paid DB in the NFL. It appears the only thing he isn’t able to cover is his greed
I guess if you ask Heido Turkulu or Chris Bosh Toronto has become a world no class city
Denver Broncos rookie QB Tim Tiebow has the best selling jersey in the NFL. Asked to comment on why his jersey is so popular Tim said “God knows”
BP has started to plug the leak in the Gulf coast and thanks are being sent to Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert for providing the advanced mudslinging technology used to plug the hole
The United Arab Emirates is threatening to ban the use of RIM technologies Blackberries due to possible security problems. NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman was quick to point out he was the 1st one to ban RIM owner Jim Balsillie and it was for something more important than national security... a personal vendetta
Former NHL tough guy Geroges Laraque has been named deputy leader of the Green party. Laraque beat out other potential candidates when he informed them he would actually beat them for the job
Laraque is a vegetarian and says he has helped other NHL’ers become vegetarians... mostly by removing the ability to chew meat
Chinese authorities are being accused by a Conservative MP of trying to bribe officials with money and sexual favours causing USC to open a new recruiting campus in Beijing
The Washington Redskins have updated the odds out of shape DE Albert Hainsworth practicing from slim to fat chance
What a coincidence the X-Games coincided with the beginning of NFL training camp or as the groupies call it the XXX Games
Protesters in Calgary lowered a banner from the Calgary Tower with an anti-oil message. It was originally thought to be the work of Greenpeace but turned out to be disgruntled Flames fans who misspelled Oli
The #1 movie this year is Inception about a group of individuals who enter the dreams of people and steal their ideas. This is not to be confused with In Edmonton where every day is a living nightmare and the sporting teams steal your hope.
Lebron James took out a full page ad in an Akron Ohio newspaper as a gesture to his hometown fans. The ad would have only been a ½ page but it would not have allowed the gesture to include his complete middle finger
A Canadian group is rumoured to be interested in purchasing the Liverpool Football Club. Speculation is centred on Maple Leafs Sports as they have the money and experience running a team that can’t score and has underachieved for decades
A challenge to the new 0 tolerance drinking law for young drivers in Ontario has been filed in court. The brief accuses the Government of discrimination based on age, a breach of the Charter of Rights and more important is going to adversely affect the chances of the Raptors ever getting a big name NBA star
A survey of adults in North America has found a vast majority are pessimistic about their future. The survey found those in Cleveland and Toronto had the least optimistic view while Miami was surprisingly upbeat
The President of Iran Mahmoud Ahmadinejad escaped an assignation attack when a grenade thrown at him missed by a mere 100 yards thus answering the question “ Whatever happened to Ryan Leaf?”
The Calgary Flames unveiled a new uniform for the Heritage Classic and the day after the Calgary Hitmen and Regina Pats will play the 1st outdoor CHL game. Despite the new sweaters fans attending the games will probably wear what they always do to McMahon Stadium... something whit a Roughriders logo on it
A new survey shows Canadians swear more than most Countries and blame it on frustration, anger and watching Toronto pro sports teams
Conservative Cabinet minister Stockwell Day says the Government will build prisons for criminals for crimes that go unreported. Not to be outdone the City of Toronto says they will build a museum for championship trophies and awards collected by their pro sports teams
Andy Fantuz tore apart the Hamilton Tigercats defense after the release of his Fantuz Flakes cereal... so much so that they are going to introduce another cereal this time using shreddies
NY Jets cornerback Darrell Revis is sitting out training camp saying he wants to be the highest paid DB in the NFL. It appears the only thing he isn’t able to cover is his greed
I guess if you ask Heido Turkulu or Chris Bosh Toronto has become a world no class city
Denver Broncos rookie QB Tim Tiebow has the best selling jersey in the NFL. Asked to comment on why his jersey is so popular Tim said “God knows”
BP has started to plug the leak in the Gulf coast and thanks are being sent to Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert for providing the advanced mudslinging technology used to plug the hole
The United Arab Emirates is threatening to ban the use of RIM technologies Blackberries due to possible security problems. NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman was quick to point out he was the 1st one to ban RIM owner Jim Balsillie and it was for something more important than national security... a personal vendetta
Former NHL tough guy Geroges Laraque has been named deputy leader of the Green party. Laraque beat out other potential candidates when he informed them he would actually beat them for the job
Laraque is a vegetarian and says he has helped other NHL’ers become vegetarians... mostly by removing the ability to chew meat
Chinese authorities are being accused by a Conservative MP of trying to bribe officials with money and sexual favours causing USC to open a new recruiting campus in Beijing
The Washington Redskins have updated the odds out of shape DE Albert Hainsworth practicing from slim to fat chance
What a coincidence the X-Games coincided with the beginning of NFL training camp or as the groupies call it the XXX Games
Protesters in Calgary lowered a banner from the Calgary Tower with an anti-oil message. It was originally thought to be the work of Greenpeace but turned out to be disgruntled Flames fans who misspelled Oli
The #1 movie this year is Inception about a group of individuals who enter the dreams of people and steal their ideas. This is not to be confused with In Edmonton where every day is a living nightmare and the sporting teams steal your hope.
Lebron James took out a full page ad in an Akron Ohio newspaper as a gesture to his hometown fans. The ad would have only been a ½ page but it would not have allowed the gesture to include his complete middle finger
A Canadian group is rumoured to be interested in purchasing the Liverpool Football Club. Speculation is centred on Maple Leafs Sports as they have the money and experience running a team that can’t score and has underachieved for decades
A challenge to the new 0 tolerance drinking law for young drivers in Ontario has been filed in court. The brief accuses the Government of discrimination based on age, a breach of the Charter of Rights and more important is going to adversely affect the chances of the Raptors ever getting a big name NBA star
A survey of adults in North America has found a vast majority are pessimistic about their future. The survey found those in Cleveland and Toronto had the least optimistic view while Miami was surprisingly upbeat
The President of Iran Mahmoud Ahmadinejad escaped an assignation attack when a grenade thrown at him missed by a mere 100 yards thus answering the question “ Whatever happened to Ryan Leaf?”
The Calgary Flames unveiled a new uniform for the Heritage Classic and the day after the Calgary Hitmen and Regina Pats will play the 1st outdoor CHL game. Despite the new sweaters fans attending the games will probably wear what they always do to McMahon Stadium... something whit a Roughriders logo on it
A new survey shows Canadians swear more than most Countries and blame it on frustration, anger and watching Toronto pro sports teams
Conservative Cabinet minister Stockwell Day says the Government will build prisons for criminals for crimes that go unreported. Not to be outdone the City of Toronto says they will build a museum for championship trophies and awards collected by their pro sports teams
Thursday, July 29, 2010
A testie camera
Robert McCune... a defensive end for the Calgary Stampeders... spent 4 years active duty in Afghanistan, Iraq, Korea and Kuwait...played NFL football with Washington, Baltimore and Cleveland... and originally looked at playing in the CFL for the Eskimos... but even he can’t get his wife to move to Edmonton...
I know the purpose of putting black under your eyes... to reduce the glare of the Sun... so what is the point of the Calgary Stampeders wearing a black patch with a white horse in the middle? It’s used as an excuse by receivers... couldn’t see the ball because the horse was in my eyes...
With Rickey Ray and Jason Moss playing QB for Edmonton they don’t need a microphone in the helmet as they both have great satellite reception... I’ll bet during the QB meetings everyone is all ears...
I would like to have a say in the player drafting of my favourite teams... I think the last round of the draft should be for fans only that way we can at least have the satisfaction of watching a player we pick make the big time.
18 people were killed during a “Love Fest” stampede in Germany but PETA was happy to point out no horses were lost in the tragedy
Asked what the secret was in their home win over Saskatchewan Calgary Stampeders head coach John Hufnagel said it was to score 1st and take the crowd out of the game
Both the Alberta NHL teams were cited for food violations in their arenas and the charges mirrored their seasons. The Oilers had instances of serving up raw meat while the Flames were guilty of being a choking hazard.
In what has to be a nod to this year’s World Cup there was another no hitter in the Major Leagues of baseball or as soccer fans call it a no no.
Rookie Dez Brant of the Dallas Cowboys says he won’t carry the pads for veterans even though it is an established tradition. Dez says he is paid to play football and once he finds a way to untie himself from the goalpost will prove it.
Team Radio Shack was penalized for changing jerseys on the last day of the Tour de France when they wore a number 28 to recognize the 28 million people who are battling cancer. The Toronto Maple Leafs says they plan to honour their futility by wearing jerseys with 43 the number of years since they have been relevant.
The NHL is doing its part to help with the Gulf Coast oil spill by providing BP with help in sending unwanted salaries to Russia
I thought TSN was getting a little too close with their camera work during CFL games but the benefits are impressive... especially the Proctor Cam which is useful in screening the prostate...
The camera and lenses have a really cool editing function which allowed a close up on a critical fumble during the Argo/Lions game and... thanks to the Ballistrator Cam... we now know that even though his testicles hit the ground it... is still a fumble...
That had to be embarrassing for the receiver when they kept circling his testies with the Telestrator and measuring them against the ball...
The isolation features allow TSN to follow each player from zip up to zip on the field which can be awkward... especially for the poor on field reporters... the TSN team in the booth needs to be there with updates faster than a lawyer to a disaster...so the guys upstairs keep up the pressure by announcing on air... we don’t seem to know what is happening... just as soon as we hear something we will pass it on... don’t make me think I’ve been drinking since noon...
The poor reporter is walking up to the player with 5 guys yapping in their ears telling what to ask... excuse me #86... you just dropped the ball... Matt upstairs says it was a sure 6... so your bad... Josh wants to know how is this affecting your mothers’ cancer... Shultzie wants an update on your negotiations for next year and on your Twitter account did you really mean LOL:)?
Wiki Leaks posted over 92000 documents in the Internet outlining the troubles the US and their allies are having in Afghanistan. This is not to be confused with Wiki Leafs where naked pictures of Toronto Maple Leafs forwards are posted.
The Federal Government is catching flack over their suggestion to stop taking the long form census. Asked to comment a spokesman for the Saskatchewan Roughriders said anything that encourages accurate counting should be encouraged
I know the purpose of putting black under your eyes... to reduce the glare of the Sun... so what is the point of the Calgary Stampeders wearing a black patch with a white horse in the middle? It’s used as an excuse by receivers... couldn’t see the ball because the horse was in my eyes...
With Rickey Ray and Jason Moss playing QB for Edmonton they don’t need a microphone in the helmet as they both have great satellite reception... I’ll bet during the QB meetings everyone is all ears...
I would like to have a say in the player drafting of my favourite teams... I think the last round of the draft should be for fans only that way we can at least have the satisfaction of watching a player we pick make the big time.
18 people were killed during a “Love Fest” stampede in Germany but PETA was happy to point out no horses were lost in the tragedy
Asked what the secret was in their home win over Saskatchewan Calgary Stampeders head coach John Hufnagel said it was to score 1st and take the crowd out of the game
Both the Alberta NHL teams were cited for food violations in their arenas and the charges mirrored their seasons. The Oilers had instances of serving up raw meat while the Flames were guilty of being a choking hazard.
In what has to be a nod to this year’s World Cup there was another no hitter in the Major Leagues of baseball or as soccer fans call it a no no.
Rookie Dez Brant of the Dallas Cowboys says he won’t carry the pads for veterans even though it is an established tradition. Dez says he is paid to play football and once he finds a way to untie himself from the goalpost will prove it.
Team Radio Shack was penalized for changing jerseys on the last day of the Tour de France when they wore a number 28 to recognize the 28 million people who are battling cancer. The Toronto Maple Leafs says they plan to honour their futility by wearing jerseys with 43 the number of years since they have been relevant.
The NHL is doing its part to help with the Gulf Coast oil spill by providing BP with help in sending unwanted salaries to Russia
I thought TSN was getting a little too close with their camera work during CFL games but the benefits are impressive... especially the Proctor Cam which is useful in screening the prostate...
The camera and lenses have a really cool editing function which allowed a close up on a critical fumble during the Argo/Lions game and... thanks to the Ballistrator Cam... we now know that even though his testicles hit the ground it... is still a fumble...
That had to be embarrassing for the receiver when they kept circling his testies with the Telestrator and measuring them against the ball...
The isolation features allow TSN to follow each player from zip up to zip on the field which can be awkward... especially for the poor on field reporters... the TSN team in the booth needs to be there with updates faster than a lawyer to a disaster...so the guys upstairs keep up the pressure by announcing on air... we don’t seem to know what is happening... just as soon as we hear something we will pass it on... don’t make me think I’ve been drinking since noon...
The poor reporter is walking up to the player with 5 guys yapping in their ears telling what to ask... excuse me #86... you just dropped the ball... Matt upstairs says it was a sure 6... so your bad... Josh wants to know how is this affecting your mothers’ cancer... Shultzie wants an update on your negotiations for next year and on your Twitter account did you really mean LOL:)?
Wiki Leaks posted over 92000 documents in the Internet outlining the troubles the US and their allies are having in Afghanistan. This is not to be confused with Wiki Leafs where naked pictures of Toronto Maple Leafs forwards are posted.
The Federal Government is catching flack over their suggestion to stop taking the long form census. Asked to comment a spokesman for the Saskatchewan Roughriders said anything that encourages accurate counting should be encouraged
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Weather or not Golf
Watching the golfers play into the wind and rain at the British Open on a 150 year old course makes you wish the NHL would play the Stanley Cup on a historic site... like the Ottawa Canal.
Very confusing week tuned into the Weather Channel and a golf game broke out... went to the ER and a rodeo broke out... went to a eulogy and a baseball game broke out
What is it with Tiger Woods dropping his club on the greens when he misses a putt? It shows no respect for other players and you would think he has learned by now to keep control of his shaft.
With the Saskatchewan Roughriders wearing their retro jerseys it was the 1st time everyone in Calgary was cheering for the red and white
Louis Oosthuizen is cashing in on his British Open triumph with new sponsorship deals with The Gap, Chicklets and Space Mountain
CFL receivers seem to be dropping a lot of passes this season. Instead of keeping their eye on the ball the players seem to be looking on the field for loose change
The NHL rejected the contract of Ilya Kovalchuk when it was determined the last 5 years of the deal would put him under the cap hit of the CFL
Radical Muslim Clerics are demanding their followers not wear the jersey of the Manchester Red Devils. Instead they would like to see them support their local teams by wearing clothing of the Stoned to Deathers, Limb Removers or Suicide Bombers
The City of Calgary is losing population and to correct this trend they plan to have more CFL games with Saskatchewan
Top 5 signs your NHL contract may be invalid
# 5 After every game the player gets his weight in beer
# 4 Manager insists you sign it with a glitter pen
# 3 If you don’t make the playoffs the player has to mow the owners lawn
# 2 Contract expires when there is world peace
# 1 The last 3 years you are paid in chickens
Very confusing week tuned into the Weather Channel and a golf game broke out... went to the ER and a rodeo broke out... went to a eulogy and a baseball game broke out
What is it with Tiger Woods dropping his club on the greens when he misses a putt? It shows no respect for other players and you would think he has learned by now to keep control of his shaft.
With the Saskatchewan Roughriders wearing their retro jerseys it was the 1st time everyone in Calgary was cheering for the red and white
Louis Oosthuizen is cashing in on his British Open triumph with new sponsorship deals with The Gap, Chicklets and Space Mountain
CFL receivers seem to be dropping a lot of passes this season. Instead of keeping their eye on the ball the players seem to be looking on the field for loose change
The NHL rejected the contract of Ilya Kovalchuk when it was determined the last 5 years of the deal would put him under the cap hit of the CFL
Radical Muslim Clerics are demanding their followers not wear the jersey of the Manchester Red Devils. Instead they would like to see them support their local teams by wearing clothing of the Stoned to Deathers, Limb Removers or Suicide Bombers
The City of Calgary is losing population and to correct this trend they plan to have more CFL games with Saskatchewan
Top 5 signs your NHL contract may be invalid
# 5 After every game the player gets his weight in beer
# 4 Manager insists you sign it with a glitter pen
# 3 If you don’t make the playoffs the player has to mow the owners lawn
# 2 Contract expires when there is world peace
# 1 The last 3 years you are paid in chickens
Friday, July 16, 2010
Spy n Trade
From Edward Osborne a student in Calgary... Calgarian Jim Kinnear the CEO of Pengrowth Management paid $11 million to purchase a house that is on the 18th green of St Andrews golf and country club in Scotland. Asked why he would pay so much Kinnear said he has always wanted to retire and be able to kick millionaire golfers off his lawn.
It was tough watching the CFL game from Empire Stadium especially since they left the cameras back at the old BC Place
The images during the TSN broadcast were brutal... the wind blew the “mounted” shots like a flag in a stiff breeze... I couldn’t make out half of the players when they went into the shadows... and the only ones more clueless than the cameramen as to who had the ball was the announcers
The camera work was so bad the announcers started Tweeting “WTF?” to both their loyal followers
The NFL Network is televising some of the CFL games with the Edmonton Eskimos being only team not being shown this year. Network officials say they wanted to include them but their wives wanted nothing to do with Edmonton.
Critics are wondering why the US sent 10 spies to Russia and only received 4 back in return. The answer was pretty simple... the US needed to shed some salary to stay under the cap. As the swap comes during NBA free agency it’s being called a spy n trade
The BC Government will end up paying $925 million to stage the 2010 Winter Olympics. Officials are really excited saying it works out to less than the cost of a couple of extra tall frappe mocha non fat cinnamon foam cappuccinos per taxpayer
A recent survey show STD rates have skyrocketed in seniors with the biggest jump in men still active in pro sports. I guess when they say the guys are having a rubber match they must be breaking
NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman made over $7 million last year in salary and bonuses. If we stick him in the minors will next year’s pay count against the cap?
Oakland Police say because of budget cuts they will no longer respond to all calls and want the public to go on line to report non-life threatening crimes. In addition they are considering opening a Facebook page to post all the infractions involving the Oakland Raiders
It’s difficult to see who is having the most trouble with the cap the Chicago Blackhawks, the Miami Heat or BP
Jesse Jackson says that Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert who paid over $120 million to a player is making comments like a plantation owner about a runaway slave. Now wait a cotton picking minute...
Former NY Yankees owner George Steinbrenner has died thus paving the way for him to fire and re-hire deceased manager Billy Martin from the Angels
38 year old Cyclist Lance Armstrong has been involved in 4 accidents in this year’s Tour de France. Experts say Armstrong hasn’t yet adapted to his aging body and gets run over when he goes into the passing lane
The YMCA is changing its name to just “Y” which is being contested by Cleveland Cavaliers fans who have a trademark pending on Y??? Y??? Y???
Tiger Woods has changed his putter so now he doesn’t even have loyalty to his clubs. Someone should tell him you dance with the one who brung ya...
Tiger says his new putter has a better groove technology because what Tiger needs is to get his groove back
Mel Gibson is a big fan of World Cup football... his favourite position... strike her
Watching the golfers play into the wind and rain at the British Open on a 150 year old course makes you long for the NHL to play the Stanley Cup on a historic site... like the Ottawa Canal.
It was tough watching the CFL game from Empire Stadium especially since they left the cameras back at the old BC Place
The images during the TSN broadcast were brutal... the wind blew the “mounted” shots like a flag in a stiff breeze... I couldn’t make out half of the players when they went into the shadows... and the only ones more clueless than the cameramen as to who had the ball was the announcers
The camera work was so bad the announcers started Tweeting “WTF?” to both their loyal followers
The NFL Network is televising some of the CFL games with the Edmonton Eskimos being only team not being shown this year. Network officials say they wanted to include them but their wives wanted nothing to do with Edmonton.
Critics are wondering why the US sent 10 spies to Russia and only received 4 back in return. The answer was pretty simple... the US needed to shed some salary to stay under the cap. As the swap comes during NBA free agency it’s being called a spy n trade
The BC Government will end up paying $925 million to stage the 2010 Winter Olympics. Officials are really excited saying it works out to less than the cost of a couple of extra tall frappe mocha non fat cinnamon foam cappuccinos per taxpayer
A recent survey show STD rates have skyrocketed in seniors with the biggest jump in men still active in pro sports. I guess when they say the guys are having a rubber match they must be breaking
NHL Commissioner Gary Bettman made over $7 million last year in salary and bonuses. If we stick him in the minors will next year’s pay count against the cap?
Oakland Police say because of budget cuts they will no longer respond to all calls and want the public to go on line to report non-life threatening crimes. In addition they are considering opening a Facebook page to post all the infractions involving the Oakland Raiders
It’s difficult to see who is having the most trouble with the cap the Chicago Blackhawks, the Miami Heat or BP
Jesse Jackson says that Cleveland Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert who paid over $120 million to a player is making comments like a plantation owner about a runaway slave. Now wait a cotton picking minute...
Former NY Yankees owner George Steinbrenner has died thus paving the way for him to fire and re-hire deceased manager Billy Martin from the Angels
38 year old Cyclist Lance Armstrong has been involved in 4 accidents in this year’s Tour de France. Experts say Armstrong hasn’t yet adapted to his aging body and gets run over when he goes into the passing lane
The YMCA is changing its name to just “Y” which is being contested by Cleveland Cavaliers fans who have a trademark pending on Y??? Y??? Y???
Tiger Woods has changed his putter so now he doesn’t even have loyalty to his clubs. Someone should tell him you dance with the one who brung ya...
Tiger says his new putter has a better groove technology because what Tiger needs is to get his groove back
Mel Gibson is a big fan of World Cup football... his favourite position... strike her
Watching the golfers play into the wind and rain at the British Open on a 150 year old course makes you long for the NHL to play the Stanley Cup on a historic site... like the Ottawa Canal.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
The derision to the decision
It looks like Flames GM Darryl Sutter has traded in his pickup truck for a DeLorean.
Health Canada says they have over 9 million doses of the H1N1 Flu shots that will expire at the end of the year. It could have been much worse but during the World Cup there has been a huge increase in the number of football fans calling in sick with flu like symptoms
Goalies at the World Cup have a save percentage on average of .700 or as the NHL calls it Oileresque
Don Coryell the innovator behind today’s football passing schemes did this week. The funeral was held and as a tribute the pallbearers dropped back into the shotgun and rolled right before handing him off
A Chinese tight rope walker has set a Guinness book record by staying on a high wire for 60 days. This eclipsed the earlier record for balancing acts held by The Chicago Blackhawks who stayed within pennies of the salary cap
Jamarcus Russell the former 1st round pick of the Oakland Raiders was arrested and charged with possession of a cough syrup with codeine. In an effort to reduce his charges Russell apparently gave up his supplier... Snuffelufagus
An octopus has selected Spain to advance in the World Cup over Germany although I would have thought with all those hands it would have picked Uruguay
The octopus was German and named Paul but after the game ended with Spain winning he was renamed main course
A fan fell 30’ reaching for a foul ball during a Ranger-Indians game causing a 30 minute delay. This is the longest delay for a Rangers game since the team let former President and part owner George Bush write out the starting line-up
Top 5 questions Tiger Woods won’t answer
# 5 Boxers, briefs or commando?
# 4 Who got more action you or your Dad?
# 3 Did you hear any good jokes in Limerick?
# 2 Do you wash your own balls?
# 1 Do Tigers mate better in captivity or in the wild?
A leading Dutch environmental agency has taken the blame for some of the glaring errors in the Global Warming report saying they were rushed, understaffed and hung over after watching their team reach the World Cup finals
After being shut out during their game with Germany, England’s World Cup team is being called toothless thus joining the rest of the population
The Chinese government signed a $130 million deal for Canadian wheat in what was described as a difficult negotiation. Both sides argued over price, delivery and payment terms. They only came to an agreement after the Saskatchewan Roughriders agreed to toss in some watermelon helmets
Police say they know who was responsible for shooting another man following Michael Vick's birthday celebration, but the shooter will not be charged "at this time". Police say they know who the victim is but after fleeing the scene he won’t speak or roll over the shooter. Police can only speculate on the motive but think someone may have had a bone to pick with him.
An audit has found millions in fraud and graft as the Russian Olympic team prepared for the Vancouver Games. Officials say they hope to get convictions as they caught many of the offenders’ red handed
Canadian lawmakers say recreational boaters must be more prepared for possible accidents while on the water. Operators of vessels should have more experience with a sinking ship, and suggest training with the Leafs, Argos or Jays
An espionage scandal between Russia and the United States ended with a swap of prisoners between the countries. In an attempt to free up some payroll the Calgary Flames hoped to toss Ales Kotalik into the deal
Following ESPN`s 1 hour special Lebron James `The Decision ‘` is a 60 month ESPN follow-up `The Derision`` starring Cleveland, NY, Chicago and anyone who wants to watch actual sports. Does this make it eligible for job creation tax breaks
When the decision came down every son who had a mom of retirement age knew... he was headed to Miami...
BP is hoping to capitalize on the signing by capping the well before he arrives and calling it a welcoming present...
Quick... is this too much for a comic book... Lebron, Chris and Dwayne signed in Miami to team up and plug the BP oil spill in the Gulf before the tar balls land on South Beach...
Lebron said he wanted to thank the man above... Pat Riley
The economy in Cleveland must be getting better when you can burn a $200 jersey...
I bet the guy who set fire to the jersey puts it on EBay... Who wouldn`t pay 2.1 million for the charred hopes and dreams of Cleveland?
The best commercial during `The Decision" was the pitch for the Black and Decker electric butt shiner
History was made Thursday when an airplane took off and flew 24 hours using only solar power. Meanwhile the Cleveland Cavaliers have seen their NBA hopes come crashing down to earth
Since they have had no really good draft picks in the last few years the Calgary Flames have let go their scouting staff calling them redundant
The Flames now have 2 people with a GM title or a double Feaster
The humane Society is protesting in Calgary saying what is being done there is cruel and unusual punishment and that’s just what the Flames are up to, the Calgary Stampede Rodeo is bad too
Health Canada says they have over 9 million doses of the H1N1 Flu shots that will expire at the end of the year. It could have been much worse but during the World Cup there has been a huge increase in the number of football fans calling in sick with flu like symptoms
Goalies at the World Cup have a save percentage on average of .700 or as the NHL calls it Oileresque
Don Coryell the innovator behind today’s football passing schemes did this week. The funeral was held and as a tribute the pallbearers dropped back into the shotgun and rolled right before handing him off
A Chinese tight rope walker has set a Guinness book record by staying on a high wire for 60 days. This eclipsed the earlier record for balancing acts held by The Chicago Blackhawks who stayed within pennies of the salary cap
Jamarcus Russell the former 1st round pick of the Oakland Raiders was arrested and charged with possession of a cough syrup with codeine. In an effort to reduce his charges Russell apparently gave up his supplier... Snuffelufagus
An octopus has selected Spain to advance in the World Cup over Germany although I would have thought with all those hands it would have picked Uruguay
The octopus was German and named Paul but after the game ended with Spain winning he was renamed main course
A fan fell 30’ reaching for a foul ball during a Ranger-Indians game causing a 30 minute delay. This is the longest delay for a Rangers game since the team let former President and part owner George Bush write out the starting line-up
Top 5 questions Tiger Woods won’t answer
# 5 Boxers, briefs or commando?
# 4 Who got more action you or your Dad?
# 3 Did you hear any good jokes in Limerick?
# 2 Do you wash your own balls?
# 1 Do Tigers mate better in captivity or in the wild?
A leading Dutch environmental agency has taken the blame for some of the glaring errors in the Global Warming report saying they were rushed, understaffed and hung over after watching their team reach the World Cup finals
After being shut out during their game with Germany, England’s World Cup team is being called toothless thus joining the rest of the population
The Chinese government signed a $130 million deal for Canadian wheat in what was described as a difficult negotiation. Both sides argued over price, delivery and payment terms. They only came to an agreement after the Saskatchewan Roughriders agreed to toss in some watermelon helmets
Police say they know who was responsible for shooting another man following Michael Vick's birthday celebration, but the shooter will not be charged "at this time". Police say they know who the victim is but after fleeing the scene he won’t speak or roll over the shooter. Police can only speculate on the motive but think someone may have had a bone to pick with him.
An audit has found millions in fraud and graft as the Russian Olympic team prepared for the Vancouver Games. Officials say they hope to get convictions as they caught many of the offenders’ red handed
Canadian lawmakers say recreational boaters must be more prepared for possible accidents while on the water. Operators of vessels should have more experience with a sinking ship, and suggest training with the Leafs, Argos or Jays
An espionage scandal between Russia and the United States ended with a swap of prisoners between the countries. In an attempt to free up some payroll the Calgary Flames hoped to toss Ales Kotalik into the deal
Following ESPN`s 1 hour special Lebron James `The Decision ‘` is a 60 month ESPN follow-up `The Derision`` starring Cleveland, NY, Chicago and anyone who wants to watch actual sports. Does this make it eligible for job creation tax breaks
When the decision came down every son who had a mom of retirement age knew... he was headed to Miami...
BP is hoping to capitalize on the signing by capping the well before he arrives and calling it a welcoming present...
Quick... is this too much for a comic book... Lebron, Chris and Dwayne signed in Miami to team up and plug the BP oil spill in the Gulf before the tar balls land on South Beach...
Lebron said he wanted to thank the man above... Pat Riley
The economy in Cleveland must be getting better when you can burn a $200 jersey...
I bet the guy who set fire to the jersey puts it on EBay... Who wouldn`t pay 2.1 million for the charred hopes and dreams of Cleveland?
The best commercial during `The Decision" was the pitch for the Black and Decker electric butt shiner
History was made Thursday when an airplane took off and flew 24 hours using only solar power. Meanwhile the Cleveland Cavaliers have seen their NBA hopes come crashing down to earth
Since they have had no really good draft picks in the last few years the Calgary Flames have let go their scouting staff calling them redundant
The Flames now have 2 people with a GM title or a double Feaster
The humane Society is protesting in Calgary saying what is being done there is cruel and unusual punishment and that’s just what the Flames are up to, the Calgary Stampede Rodeo is bad too
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