Miles Fly By

Alex Medvedev is considering starting a new professional hockey league to compete with the NHL. Sources say the league will be made up of European players who want to stay home, NHL players who want a smaller schedule and former Toronto Maple Leaf first round picks.

Top 3 Reasons to sign with the new Russian Hockey League
# 3 No Chris Simon or Sean Avery
# 2 Sounds cool to make over 20 million Rubles a year
# 1 Even marginal players can be a Czar

Dallas Cowboy safety Roy Williams was suspended for an illegal horse collar tackle which would have probably been overlooked if he hadn’t bit the players’ ear as well.

Roger Clemmons says he should be given the benefit of the doubt which is OK because no one can doubt he was the one to benefit most from using steroids. Clemmons says the only growth hormones he used came from good old chemically enhanced Texas beef.

Five Atlanta Falcons were fined for wearing T Shirts saying “Please Michael...take me with you!”

Listening to all the player explanations of how they only took steroids for medical reasons reminds me of the Steve Martin routine on using pot...”I only used it in the late mid early evenings... but never at dusk”

If steroids are so helpful at getting people better how come Doctors never tell you to take two shots in the ass and call me in the morning?

I’m not sure if NY Knicks coach Isiah Thomas learned anything from his sexual harassment trial as he has a pair of nylons hanging up for Santa to fill. Have to love how NY fans have got into the spirit of the season because it’s not easy to sing “Fire Isiah” to the tune of Jingle Bells.

Part owner Michael Jordon of the Charlotte Bobcats stepped onto the court to show the players a couple of things. He mostly concentrated on driving the lane, setting a pick and bluffing with Queen-Nine off suit.

Watching Chris Simon have another rage induced meltdown makes me glad the NHL tests so strenuously for steroid use. On the scale of what to look for in steroid use Simon makes the diagnosis simple.

Todd Bertuzzi says he broke the neck of Steve Moore because if he didn’t he would have had a pretty long week. I agree because I once didn’t break someone’s neck and the week was just hell.

Bertuzzi at first declined to repeat the words he used during the attack because being such a classy guy he was worried about the sensitive ears of the women in the room. Wow a misogynist and coward who would have guessed the two could exist in the same person?

Formula 1 driver Lewis Hamilton had his driver’s license suspended for a month after being caught speeding. In his defence Hamilton said he thought one of the other drivers was trying to pass him but it turned out to be an airplane.

Florida State is suspending 25 players from an upcoming Bowl game after they were caught cheating. Officials say they are upset the players didn’t just trust the teachers to adjust their marks like usual. The players said they only cheated to have a better chance of making the New England Patriots.

The Montreal Alouettes have hired a coach with no CFL experience which is being condemned by the other coaches who say they can only keep the lines pure by in-breeding.

Former Seattle Mariner Julio Mateo pleaded guilty to assaulting his wife but asked for forgiveness saying at no point did he take drugs to help his performance.