Sicko for a Decade

After breaking his wrist in 3 places Toronto Maple Leafs defenseman Bryan McCabe became the first member of the team to record a hat trick.

A new survey says Canadians drink more than ever which is easily explained by the increase in the number of sports writers.

After getting into a fight and taking it out on the penalty box Philadelphia Phantoms Steve Downie is being told to take steroids to reduce his rage.

Calgary Flames coach Mike Keenan won his 600th game this week and to celebrate the team had a party in which he pulled the caterers half way through it.

NY Islanders forward Chris Simon is in trouble after he stepped on the ankle of Jarkku Ruutu. In his defence Simon says his coach asked him to step up his game.

Philadelphia Flyers forward Mike Richards signed a 12 year contract or as Rick Dipietro called it a good start.

NY Yankee Andy Pettitte admitted taking growth hormones but only because he was injured. This line of reasoning was quickly picked up by Roger Clemmons who said he had a cold from 1996 until yesterday.

With 8 teams failing to score over 10 points this weekend it appears the NFL has embraced the neutral turf trap. You know it’s been a bad week for scoring when Jerome Iginla had more points than Tom Brady.

You know Dallas Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo was having a bad game when his girlfriend Jessica Simpson questioned his play calls.

Former Chicago Bears lineman Todd Burger was arrested for his role in an internet gambling site. Sources say the former guard was in charge of protecting the site and getting the quarters back.

Chris Simon is taking time off for personal reasons after he stepped on the ankle of Jarkku Ruutu and apologized to his teammates for his decision to cut and run.

Alex Rodriguez says he “turned white as a ghost” when he heard his agent say he was turning down the NY Yankees offer. Later he re-signed a contract that turned him back to his normal shade of green.

After being shut out in Cleveland the Buffalo Bills had to take a bus home as their plane like the offence was grounded.

Last year Dallas quarterback Tony Romo had singer Carrie Underwood in a luxury box, this year it is actress Jessica Simpson and next year plans are underway to have Paris Hilton fill the slot. There is word Jessica will release a new song that will put the sexy a quarter back.

Chinese Ping Pong player Ma Lin doesn’t understand why the sport is not bigger in North America. The answer is simple most sports in North America are already a racket played with small balls.

Brian Sean Griffith, a former bodyguard to figure skater Tonya Harding who admitted a role in the attack on her rival Nancy Kerrigan during Olympics tryouts, has died. Friends say Griffith was never the same after the event and up until the end couldn’t get a break.