Notre Dame dams the dame

Anyone who says they would have picked Eli Manning to be in the Super Bowl over Peyton Manning is the same person that would have taken Brett Gretzky in their hockey pool over Wayne.

Tough day for glass as Dion Pnaeuf shattered two panes in the game and one later when he was shaving.

Peter Forsberg skated for Swedish team MoDo and after taking one lap around the rink managed to get two contract offers and one GM fired for not making one.

The Saskatchewan Roughriders began their search for a new head coach by stating the qualifications required. The candidate must have coaching experience, be willing to work towards a championship and have a decent exit strategy if they win one. The Riders were interested in defensive coach Ritchie Hall until he explained his reluctance to leave after having some success. Let’s face it if someone wants to stay in Regina he must have problems.

The NFL has banned Buffalo Bills defensive end Anthony Hargrove for substance violation. Because of NFL rules the substance was not revealed and Anthony didn’t have the balls to come clean.

After scoring 3 shorthanded goals against Carolina NY Islanders coach Ted Nolan became the first coach to pull a forward.

The NHL has decided to award points for creativity during the shoot out at this year’s All Star game. Points will be awarded for creativity, difficulty and ringing the five hole bell. An effort to spice up the game to appeal to the youth failed when the new uniforms repelled water at the wet t shirt rehearsal.

A study has determined on an average day 100 million people are having sex. The amount lowers drastically during heat waves and reaches a peak during the NBA All Star Game.

John Ferguson Jr. says he will stand behind his record which is good because no goalie wants to stand behind that defence.

Roger Clemens is considering playing another year with the Houston Astros saying he feels pumped.

New England quarterback Tom Brady was seen with a plastic cast on his foot after visiting his ex girlfriend. Fans of the Patriots were relieved to find out it was just a boot put on him by his current girlfriend for double parking.

Two TV Shows revolving around the NHL premiered this week. “MVP” is about a fictitious Toronto hockey team and one about wives of NHL players that signed with Edmonton called “The Week the Women Left Town.”

After missing half or the regular season Scott Niedermayer was added to this years All Star team. This has Peter Forsberg increasing his daily skating workouts in hopes of signing a contract in time to be included as well.

Not sure who had the worse injury Sidney Crosby when he crashed into the boards or executives of the NHL network who leap from their offices windows after hearing the news.

First it was Golf channel reporter Kelly Tilghman being suspended for remarks about Tiger Woods and now ESPN’s Dana Jacobson has come under fire for her portrayal of Notre Dame in a televised roast. I remember when men had to beg women to talk trash and now they are getting suspended for it.

The Catholic Church is outraged over the remarks Dana made about Notre Dame asking “What have we ever done to women to deserve this kind of treatment?”

Why is it Canadians are always hurt by labour disputes? This year the Academy Awards are going to be interrupted by a writers strike with Canadians heavily represented, the baseball strike wiped out the chance for Montreal to win the World Series and we all know Toronto would have won the Stanley Cup during the walkout year.

The Winter X Games have gone green which will make snowboarders very very happy. The beer will be in corn based cups, the napkins are from a sugarcane based by-product and only chemically free, organically grown pot will be used by snowboarders.