Sign, Sign Everybody Sign

Rick Ankiel has insisted he did not receive a shipment of Human Growth Hormone the product was mislabeled it was actually Hair Growth Hormone.

With so many doubts as to who is taking drugs here are the top 6 signs your favorite player is not taking performance enhancing drugs:

#6 Gives you an autograph instead of ripping up the card and screaming in your face

#5 Coach describes him as unwilling to sacrifice for the team

# 4 Has to stand next to the kicker to seem pumped

#3 Signs for packages in a clear signature

#2 Teammates refer to him as the designated pee-er

#1 Sits on the bench a lot


Asafa Powell set a world 100 meter record of 9.74 seconds but it was still not as fast as Tom Brady left his girlfriend when he heard he was going to be a father or Tiki Barber burned his bridges with the NY Giants.


After seeing the less than spectacular statistics of NFL quarterbacks Rex Grossman and JP Losman teams might want to take pass on the next group of quarterbacks including Terry Threenout and Nelson Nogain.


The Pope says selfish people are causing the current baby bust and people should follow the example set by NBA players.


Seeing so many NFL players being carried off the field the most important 12th man is now the medic.

After watching the NFL game between Buffalo and Denver coaches may think again when they ask the special team players to get downfield at breakneck speed.

After having a wrist injury, tonsils removed and now a knee injury Greg Oden is not so much a homeboy as a HMOboy.

JaMarcus Russell and the Oakland Raiders agreed on a contract that included incentives for wins, touchdowns and ambulatory trips.

I’m not saying the NFL has problems with steroids but the trainers are now over 300 lbs.

I remember the good old days when players were day to day with injuries not as a prognosis for living.

Baseball is mired in the Signature Steroid scandal which revolves around players signing for HGH shipments. In an effort to educate the players on the consequences MLB has hired doctors to train the players how to make their signatures illegible.

Arizona quarterback Matt Leinhart was good on 12 of 14 pass attempts this weekend; unfortunately it was on a Saturday at a Nightclub.

Former NFL player and Fox Sports broadcaster Bill Maas was charged with drug and weapons possession. It is the first time a Fox reporter has been accused of shooting off more than his mouth.

The New England Patriots were under suspicion for using and unauthorized person to video tape the plays called by the NY Jets on Sunday. A spokesman for the Patriots said it was all just a misunderstanding; the person was just looking for babes to meet with Tom Brady after the game.

Indiana Pacers forward Shawne Williams was charged with possession of marijuana, driving without a license and having an unlicensed vehicle. Officers said they became concerned when the vehicle he was in signaled to make a lane change at 3:00 AM. This is considered highly suspicious behavior.

The Fed-Ex Cup is ending this weekend with the winner getting a $10 million bonus. The cheque well be deferred as they seem to have lost it somewhere in the delivery system.