Osoma bin Laughing

First the Toronto Maple Leafs announce that Jason Blake has cancer and then they lose 7-1 causing all their fans to feel nauseous.

The Detroit Red Wings want to move back into the Eastern Conference of the NHL so they can have more natural rivals, reduce travel time and get Chris Celios home before his 10:00 PM bedtime.

New York is reeling with the season ending failure of the Mets and Yankees a collapse of the City’s twin towers not seen since… well a few years. In what was a deliberate attempt to taunt Osoma bin Laden was seen in his latest video wearing a Cleveland Indians cap.

Internet sex stars Pamela Anderson and Rick Solomon were married this past weekend and sources say Bill Belechick did a very tasteful but discreet video.

I loved hearing the announcers say that running back Kenton Keith of the Indianopolis Colts is a rookie who came out of nowhere. Regina isn’t nowhere, that title belongs to Moose Jaw.

The newest fad in the NFL seems to be to call time out just before a kicker makes a game changing kick. Sources say this is a new twist on the old schoolyard taunt “miss me miss me now you have to re-kick me”.

The Calgary Stampeders are considering starting quarterback Henry despite having only had 3 weeks to recover from a separated shoulder. Management is trying to decide if it is worth chancing a separation of his shoulder from his arm over the possibility of being separated from the playoffs.

Marion Jones has accepted a 2 year ban from competitive track and field and will concentrate on counting her blessings and endorsement money.

The Atlanta Falcons have been awarded $20 million to be returned to the team by disgraced quarterback Michael Vick. The Players Union for the NFL is appealing saying it is just too big a bite out of his paycheck.

The US Olympic Committee says there should be no concerns about athletes testing positive for the coming Games in China because of new test that include blood, urine and an oath that if they were to lie a sty would get in their eye.